Having been on dating apps for a while, I think I’ve cracked the Tinder-lingo. Please feel free to add to the list: “Open minded” - will ask for a threesome with his friend, “Easy going” - a stoner, “Like to stay in” - a couch potato, “Down to earth” - dumb, “Looking for the one” - looking for a one night stand, “Looking for a friend with benefits” - offering to disappoint you in about two minutes, “In an open relationship, my wife is aware of this” - wife is unaware of any of this, “In a polyamorous relationship” - the ugliest f*cker on the app, forcing his emotional abuse on an unhappy girlfriend/s, “Sensitive, thoughtful” - looking for free therapy, “Like style and elegance” - likes to sit at home in a greasy tracksuit with holes, “Love strong women/is a feminist” - wants you to adopt him, “Drink socially” - my hobby is alcohol, “Respect women” - serial killer, “My mum is the most influential woman in my life” - you better get used to that, “A fancy restaurant for the first date” - which you’ll pay for yourself, “Director/CEO/GM” - of a gravedigging business which he is the only employee of, “Dislikes drama” - which I’ll create a lot of, “Dominant in the bedroom” - a doormat everywhere else in life, A sports car in the pic- small dick, Massive muscles/mirror/gym selfies/naked torso - small dick, Hugging several beautiful women in the pic - small dick, Naked (own) butt in the pic - on the wrong app, Hat on in every pic - baldie, Every pic is a selfie - Billy no mates, A pic of several good looking guys- I’m the ugly one, Other people’s kids in the pic - appealing to your ovaries and looking for a boring one night stand.