~ archived since 2018 ~
Popular
Other
Ok_Ad_67
[–]Phoenix__Rising2018Ruthless Strategist407 points408 points409 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
This is why I cook for myself and eat in front of these assholes
[–]AprilMoon9263 points264 points265 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I remember near the end of my 'marriage' it would get past 9ish and the scrote would turn and ask me "What's for dinner?"
My response: "Well I've already eaten, so I guess whatever the fuck you feed yourself 🤷"
[–]omfgreubenFDS Newbie118 points119 points120 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Oof, I was married to one of these. By the end I was making myself steak dinners while ex had hot dogs and ramen they had to microwave themselves
[–]99powerFDS Apprentice35 points36 points37 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is the way. 🙌
[–]SansaDeservedBetterFDS Disciple291 points292 points293 points 5 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link
This is literally a plotpoint in Matilda. Why would you want to do this to your children? Men should want them to enjoy food and get properly cooked and nutritious meals to ensure that they grow up healthy and with good habits.
[–]ahsiemkcipFDS Newbie186 points187 points188 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
get properly cooked and nutritious meals
A lot of men don't seem to want to even do that for themselves, never mind others. I don't understand it since treating yourself well brings so much joy.
[–]Faefae33FDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes, exactly! They can't even take care of themselves.
[–]omfgreubenFDS Newbie88 points89 points90 points 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Because so many men are allowed to maintain the palates of toddlers well into adulthood.
My brother has lived off chicken nuggets, Chef Boyardee, candy, pop etc for over 20 years. My mom never forced him to eat home cooked meals or drink water the way she did with me.
He's 27 now and makes an effort to eat better, try new things and take supplements after years of me brutally roasting him for eating like a giant baby, but the damage is already done because his teeth are falling apart from the inside
[–]shmarharFDS Newbie55 points56 points57 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I think we've found a new explanation for why men's life expectancy is always lower than women's
[–]99powerFDS Apprentice34 points35 points36 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Remember when fewer Chinese men died of COVID than American men because they eat their vegetables (that their wives probably cooked)? Scrotes are an international embarrassment.
[–]omfgreubenFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Oh for sure, I can see it on both sides of my own family. The men barely make it past 60 (unmanaged diabetes and heart disease, then stroke every damn time), the women live to their 90s and live independently until the last couple months of their lives.
[–]asteria2002FDS Apprentice6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Well you mother took good care of you :)
[–]iforgotwhatiwasaying2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My brother in law is like that. His mom never taught her three sons (including my husband) how to cook, clean, do laundry, anything really. They all have been varying degrees of helpless and thankfully my husband has figured out most of it on his own over the years but my BIL is 42 and still eats absolute garbage for every meal. His teeth are rotting out of his head, he’s sick all the time, and is showing many signs of heart disease. You’re not doing your sons or society any favors by failing to teach them cooking and household management at an early age.
[–]OrangeyPandaFDS Apprentice29 points30 points31 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
LVM only care about their child's nutrition when its in a womans body still (pregnancy), he gets to be controlling and tell her what she's not allowed to eat and then once its born he has no interest in making sure the child is fed well because that would actually be effort for him.
[–]PinkBlair99FDS Newbie58 points59 points60 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My dad is problematic af and we no longer speak BUT he did teach me to cook, wash dishes, basic car maintenance. Who ARE these men?
[–]BovvsetteFDS Disciple224 points225 points226 points 5 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link
Let him taste his incompetence as a parent and as a functional adult in a form of his frozen trash or nothing at all. Why would she need to cook for him? It's so crazy how some men get to their deathbeds without touching their laundry or ever cooking a meal, yet a woman has to master all life skills and various cuisines before even hitting puberty. It's so unfair.
[–]MindeskaFDS Newbie146 points147 points148 points 5 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
Yep. When you actually think about it, it's disgusting. I too was expected to cook meals for my family by the time I was 13 because my dad was 'tired from work' and my mother was working. What about my needs? My homework? Why did they think it was OK for a 13-year-old to spend hours every evening on domestic drudgery? My brother was never asked to do any of this stuff.
[–]AwkwardDisaster4150FDS Newbie109 points110 points111 points 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Once I got into an argument with a bunch of guys on a drumming forum about why there aren’t more high level female drummers, or other musicians in general. I told them it’s because most girls have a ton of chores to do and are treated like a maid while their brother has to maybe cut the grass once a week if that, so boys have way more time to practice their instrument. The thread ended up getting locked because they got out of hand arguing with me about it. It’s true though- well for me and my friends growing up, anyway. Our parents were very sexist and expected the girls to do all the work while the boys had a token chore here and there.
[–]SallyTwoSocksFDS Newbie56 points57 points58 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Bingo! My unemployed 24 year old brother has 3 chores. (Up until a few years ago he had 0!)
Drive me to work sometimes (other people in the house also do this).
Take me to the grocery store once a week, and push the cart (I plan the dinners and grocery list for the week).
Don’t leave the gas completely empty in the car.
The rest of his day he spends sleeping, or playing computer games. I swear he’s addicted to World of Warcraft. He has so much free time that he could probably have SO many skills if he did anything else but play computer games.
I, on the other hand, take on equal house chores with my mom, and I have been since I was a young teenager. The only reason why my brother has to drive me anywhere is because I have a medical condition so I can’t drive.
[–]AlextheAnalystPickmeisha™️18 points19 points20 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Wow. Not that it's not important that you be driven to places and the car is refueled - but when you said "3 chores," I honestly expected them to be... y'know... tasks that require effort.
[–]solitaireloverFDS Newbie22 points23 points24 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Did we have the same childhood? I never left the house without first having to complete some kind of “list” of chores/various tasks, usually involving making dinner or at least prepping it. I was allowed to play a sport because practice was in the morning and I helped set out the clothes for the younger kids at night so they could get dressed. When I joined a band in high school I had to drop out of it within a few months because I could never make all the practices and these dudes didn’t understand why I had so much to do at home. I moved closer to my family recently and I see the oldest girl at home getting a lot of the same treatment, which has led to many arguments with my parents about why my childhood wasn’t okay and why it’s not okay to do this to another girl, they don’t listen so I usually go over to pick up the kids and make them dinner at my house rather than let my 16 year old sister do it. My parents aren’t neglectful, if she isn’t there, the kids still get fed, bathed, homework done, but they rely wayyyyyy too much on her to get those tasks done. Emotional support eldest daughters are so real.
[–]GrapeJuiceEnthusiastFDS Disciple7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
This is probably true for every hobby. I'm into gaming and there's always a lot of talk about "why aren't there more female pros?". I don't know, maybe because little girls' parents don't allow them the free time to build up their skills by allowing them to play video games? We're instead expected to do chores and do our schoolwork. I remember I was banned from playing video games as a kid but my parents would gift them to my male cousins.
[–]AwkwardDisaster4150FDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The worst thing is even if you explain this to men, they can’t admit it. They have to believe that it’s some inherent superiority that men have, that even if women were given equal opportunity as men they wouldn’t ever be as successful. Their fragile egos can’t bear the thought that actually their privilege has contributed to their success.
[–]Ghost_namesakeFDS Newbie20 points21 points22 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
She was just a child who loved her father. It's tragic. So young and already feeling she has to caretake.
[–]pickmieshaexorcistFDS Disciple14 points15 points16 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
When my parents divorced, my dad let his house go to complete squalor. We kids would visit on the weekends. I hated how dirty it was but even back then, I refused to clean it. If my dad and my brothers didn’t lift a finger, why should I, the lone teenage girl? Me having a vagina didn’t make me the house cleaner by default. So I just put up with it, as gross as it was. To their credit, they never hassled me to clean for them at least, but I got questioned by some extended family as to why I didn’t “help my dad” 🙄. Eventually dad ended up hiring a maid service LOL.
[–]AlextheAnalystPickmeisha™️6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My mother got hassled by SO MANY PEOPLE when my grandmother died, telling her that she ought to move back in and take care of him. She said absolutely not, she works all day and has no time to be his slave. When she was younger, my grandmother had an operation and had to recuperate for a while. During that time, she would get home from work to find him moping around waiting for someone to cook for him. Then she'd wash his dishes and do general cleaning. All while taking care of her actual kid. After that she said as long as he's able, he could darn well learn to do things for himself. I'm very proud of her for that.
[–]lluuniFDS Newbie71 points72 points73 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
My HV dad always cooked us nutritious meals, and still does to this day when I visit. Never settle for a man that wouldn’t be able to take care of your children if something were to happen to you.
Never settle for a man that wouldn’t be able to take care of your children if something were to happen to you.
THIS!!!! This is so important!! No matter how much abuse or neglect you are willing to put up with yourself, there is no excuse for being okay with your children going through that. If you can't think of any other reason to stop choosing LVM, let your future children be your reason. They deserve better.
[–]Charming_Mix7930FDS Newbie141 points142 points143 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
My father once complained about the pasta I made because the sauce was too heavy for him. I answered: well... then cook your meals yourself.
I also criticized him because he didn't do any housework (neither did my brother). So I told him that he should hire someone or start paying me for my work. Next day he interviewed someone.
[–]eelima34 points35 points36 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
what an asshole
[–]Unlikely-MarzipanRuthless Strategist46 points47 points48 points 5 years ago* (8 children) | Copy Link
Yep! One of my friends today was going on about how much she loves cooking and cooks for her male housemate...because at least it means she won’t eat it all. So even if they’re not dating you they expect you to cook for them! (This guy tried to date me for a long time, but he always came across as desperate and like he expected a very “traditional” wife, and tried desperately to fit me into that box).
Guess his housemate fills the cooking and cleaning role though for now.
[–]SayNadFDS Newbie30 points31 points32 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
It is sad seeing these wonderful women who big heart gives out so much - and while they get the constant dose of helper's high, they are also drowning further into the trap of toxicity. She will keep attracting these narcissistic vampires that will take, take and take and she will only realize that there's something wrong when the damage is done. There's only so much the body can take before it starts protesting. And doing thankless jobs for years will do a huge number on your mental health.
[–]Unlikely-MarzipanRuthless Strategist16 points17 points18 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Omg you hit the nail on the head! She’s quite naive to how awful people can be, I think because she comes from a dangerous country (her words), she feels safer here which is great... but it’s almost like she’s on a constant holiday where she thinks everyone in another country is nice. And because men aren’t as openly sexist here, they are “nicer”. No honey, they just hide it well. And “helpers high” makes so much sense.
She was recently rejected by another guy I know, and honestly he is so arrogant and narcissistic, but she’s feeling bad because he rejected her. This second guy doesn’t settle with any girl, he’s just out to get laid. It’s plain as day. And he would’ve picked up that she’s not like that hence why he didn’t bother trying to get to know her after their first date.nn
[–]SayNadFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ugh I hate it when naive girl get trusted into the world of "not every wolves look like wolves here" - they are the absolute favorite prey of these predators. At least clingy desperate women scare some of the scrotes away. These girls though? Narcissists would be going to town with these people.
She was recently rejected by another guy I know, and honestly he is so arrogant and narcissistic, but she’s feeling bad because he rejected her.
Ugh dammit.
[–]Angrboda229FDS Newbie23 points24 points25 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Sounds like my male roomate. He had my other female roomate cooking for him; there would be entire pan of lasagna that was gone in a week by him and she got two pieces. Then that all stopped when he offered her $200 to fulfill his kink of rubbing her down with massage oil. I turned him down almost 7 months ago when I moved in (he made a move as soon as I'd settled in) and now I think he's circling back because now we are speaking again when we see each other in the kitchen.
[–]Unlikely-MarzipanRuthless Strategist22 points23 points24 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ew gross! Male roommates are the worst. Being propositioned in your own home is just disgusting, you can’t even feel safe and just chill the fck out without being hit on. Sorry you have to deal with that!
[–]flowers4uFDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
She knows she can just make smaller portions or have left overs right?
[–]Unlikely-MarzipanRuthless Strategist0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Haha you would think so! I think some women seem to like feeling needed for validation.
[–]DV_throwaway19675FDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That's 100% my ex. He gets these female roomies who cook and clean for him. He hated lving with me because I just don't do that shit.
[–]finance_ladyFDS Newbie35 points36 points37 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
When I was growing up, on Thanksgiving every year, my female cousins and I (all under age 16, three of us) had to clear the table and wash all the dishes for approximately 25 kids and family members. It took at least 2 hours for us to do that every year. The adults told us, "we paid our dues with clean up our whole childhood on holidays; now it's your turn."
My male cousins under 16, two of them, were allowed to go sit on the couch and watch football as soon as we were done eating. They didn't have to touch any dirty dishes. The adult women did all the cooking. The adult men did nothing but enjoy eating...and watching football.
That was my mom's side of the family.
As an adult, I only spend holidays with my dad's side now (which is a long story in itself because my mom passed away in 2012 - though I am welcome at my mom's side). I help clean up...but it's by choice, and adult men help. The kids under 16 are not treated like slave labor. The adult men also pitch in on cooking. My cousin's husband plans the menu and shops for everything. This is with also hosting about 25 people at their house for Christmas. It's amazing how different it feels to help when it's by choice and EVERYONE is happy to do something! Of course, this year we prob won't gather like that due to COVID. Blah. :(
[–]YourMzFortuneFDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
help clean up...but it's by choice, and adult men help. The kids under 16 are not treated like slave labor. The adult men also pitch in on cooking. My cousin's husband plans the menu and shops for everything. This is with also hosting about 25 people at their house for Christmas. It's amazing how different it feels to help when it's by choice and EVERYONE is happy to do something! Of
My family is like your second one - kids do minimal chores (take the dishes to the kitchen) and adults of either sex do the work (it's mostly the women cooking and the men doing the clean up but still).
I was pretty offended first time my ex husband's family expected me to do all of the work at a holiday and I told my ex he better get the fuck in the kitchen instead of me.
I told his mother that he and I had a tradition - he does the work at his family's house and I do it at mine. They were hot and judgy and kept trying to stop my ex from doing dishes and telling him to just go ahead and watch the game.
They just didn't get it. They thought - probably still do - that I was being lazy or just being an asshole.
To defend my ex - he stuck it out and did all of the dishes - because he agreed with my point. (he's a LVM in other ways but his views on sexism were pretty on point)
[–]SayNadFDS Newbie65 points66 points67 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Men have the scary ability to not give a fuck until it became catastrophic, and then they will put the teary-man drama and preach about "life lesson: don't be like me". Tale as old as time. See how many destruction occurred over the history of humanity, and how many men being all wise and shit after they destroy things. Always after, always.
Never expect them to change - they are willing to literally drown in trash mountain if they think that's what they wanna do. That's them being men. Egoistical on the most bullshittiest of issue.
The only way us women can survive and not being dragged down together into this toxic mudslide is by getting as far away as these people. Don't believe the propaganda of "You can change them with loveeeee" like of course patriarchy always put the blame and responsibilities on women, while they be out there destroying things. Women will be destroyed too in the process, that is just how these scrotes are.
The only way to win is to not engage. Run, get away, stay far farrrrr away.
[–]flowers4uFDS Newbie24 points25 points26 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Lol the life lesson thing, it’s exactly what is happening now with corona. So many of them “I thought it was no big deal until I got it, don’t be like me and please wear a mask”, like really you couldn’t comprehend it was a big deal before?!
[–]SayNadFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If by magic or unicorn or whatever they get better, you bet your ass they are just gonna continue being assholes - the only way for them to "realize their mistake" is when they are literally on their deathbed. Even then it is about making themselves look wise, because we all know the narcissism never ends.
[–]ciceriiFDS Newbie86 points87 points88 points 5 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link
I really don’t get this. Why they’d rather order doordash than trouble themselves to boil some pasta.
[–]MindeskaFDS Newbie63 points64 points65 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Laziness and selfishness. They'd rather have their kids hungry and malnourished than learn how to cook nutritious and filling meals.
[–]GrapeJuiceEnthusiastFDS Disciple3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I only recently started to get into properly learning to cook. I'm 21 and I don't want to be one of those university students who just order pizza everyday. But even when I didn't really know how to cook I still knew how to make basic meals like pesto pasta, chicken parmesan, spaghetti carbonara, or meals involving some type of egg - poached, boiled, fried etc. I feel like these are pretty simple meals that anyone can make. There's no excuse for ordering takeout every day.
[–]msnajahmarie26 points27 points28 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Longtime lurker/reader of this Reddit and my father’s the opposite. He can cook decent meals but will only cook if HE feels like eating something (otherwise work comes first and frozen dinners come second,) OR if my younger sisters spend a few nights at his apartment. Usually, I’m cooking for myself and doing domestic work (99.9% of the time) and he’ll only “wash dishes” if he cooks or every couple of weeks.
Thank GOD for this /Reddit thread and the fact that I’ve moved half my stuff out (quietly.) 🙌🏽🙌🏽
[–]elvn-elvnFDS Newbie44 points45 points46 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Seems like most single fathers with daughters force their daughters to raise them
[–]-badmadAMFDS Apprentice14 points15 points16 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Girls raised by single fathers have the worst outcomes for a reason.
[–]elvn-elvnFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Pickme family situations probably force a different evil of dysfunction. I grew up taking care of my mom, dad, and older sister—my LV dad can barely function for himself, my mom is mentally ill and insecure from years of his nonsense, and my sister was just old enough to be throwing herself into horrible toxic situations with men since I was in elementary school. I cooked for all them, helped my dad with his diabetes he doesn’t take care of, sat and listened to all their problems from like, ages 9 - 16.
When my sister moved out (married at 19 to her v LVM military hs boyfriend who cheated on her lol) and I was in high school, I would literally sit and watch Nickelodeon for hours because I was so excited to watch kid’s shows (would watch teen mom or whatever my sis wanted to watch when I was a kid)
[–]Ghost_namesakeFDS Newbie16 points17 points18 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Growing up, my mom wanted to teach me to cook. I always refused because I saw it as "girl stuff" and I was a tomboy. Once I got into college and was on my own, I discovered that I did indeed enjoy eating good food. I quickly began to teach myself to cook. I still kick myself for having resisted my mom's offers of teaching all those years!
I can't imagine how anyone makes it through life with no cooking skills. My food tastes better than restaurants! It's a dangerous skill to have because all the men I've been with latched onto the cooking and proceeded to be lazy while I fed us. Thanks to FDS, I'm never putting up with that again.
[–]V0703FDS Newbie70 points71 points72 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Yea same, living with my divorced dad and he doesn't bother learning how to cook. I tried to learn by myself but all he does is nag about how it taste and how expensive cooking is. :(
[–]eelima26 points27 points28 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I tried to learn by myself but all he does is nag about how it taste and how expensive cooking is.
Cook only for yourself. Let him eat his spagettio's.
[–]Ghost_namesakeFDS Newbie21 points22 points23 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Keep learning! Cooking is actually less expensive than ordering take out. You just have to get some experience. There are lots of blogs out there that explain step by step. Don't be afraid to make mistakes, that's how you learn! Budget bytes is a good blog for simple, tasty, inexpensive recipes for beginners, btw.
[–]laneypie20000 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I LOVE budget bytes. The instructions can be a touch sparse, but the recipes are forgiving. It’s been a godsend for me broadening our menu
[–]-badmadAMFDS Apprentice7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The reason I went vegetarian (and even vegan for a while) was actually because my stepdad wouldn't cook, and as my mum works all day someone has to do it. I started to make some veggi dishes and he would find it too unmanly or whatever (yeah I don't get scrotes sometimes) to eat those, so that's what I do now regularly. Manlyman can hunt his own steak or whatever he thinks he needs.
[–]Equal-Ear2312FDS Apprentice77 points78 points79 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
she was a parentified child. She didn't get to enjoy being a child because her father's laziness and incompetency made her take upon the role of cook/ aide/ handmaid. if I were her, I would have cooked only for myself. ley him eat the frozen stuff.
[–]SallyTwoSocksFDS Newbie43 points44 points45 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
It’s so easy to say you’d do something like that, but 13 year olds, especially fragile ones after having a parent leave, probably wouldn’t be so good at standing up for themselves like that. When you’re young, you’re dependent on your parents for so much, so that incompetent father could have just as likely started revoking privileges for her because “if you don’t take care of me, I won’t take care of you” and that’s a precarious situation for a child to be put into.
[–]Equal-Ear2312FDS Apprentice10 points11 points12 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
that's how codependent situations are created. yes, it is easy to say it as an adult, too easy, in fact, therefore, my bad. children are very vulnerable and being parentified is not their fault by any means. both boys and girls can be pushed into roles beyond their comprehension by both mothers and fathers. sometimes these things can degenerate so much that the roles are reversed, ending up in a minor taking literal care of the parent. if old enough, the child realizes it and grows to resent this role because it is completely unnatural. most of them try to break free from it by leaving the parental home fortunately.
[–]99powerFDS Apprentice2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah, this is how my mother raised me. Abusers never ever admit guilt, so you’re always just left wondering if it’s your fault. Because whose else fault could it be, since you were the one in charge of everything?
[–]curlygirl507FDS Apprentice29 points30 points31 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
"Incompetence" is too nice a word. It's more like parental neglect.
[–]frogirl1993FDS Newbie11 points12 points13 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I know this is sadly the norm but it always reminds me how different my dad was. I don't think I cooked a single thing (not counting microwaving a hot pocket) till after he died. Hell even after I became a vegetarian he learned how to cook the plant based foods and tried to come up with new ways to use them to try to replicate foods I used to like.
[–]hoping_for_funFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
This is what my dad is like. My mom and dad have their faults, but together they made such a good parent team for us. I only realized how much I took for granted when I moved out and lived on my own. My dad was responsible for our laundry while my mom always cooked the food for us.
And as an adult, I keep thinking about the fact that I always had clean uniforms, clean clothes. How! My parents used to wake up at 5-6 AM while us lazy kids would be dragged out screaming at 7. Gosh if I could go back in time and be grateful to them. I used to bitch at my mom about her cooking being too bland because all my other friends moms were homemakers and they made such better meals. Meanwhile, my mom cooked for 6 people daily breakfast, lunch and dinner. And she had to make separate meals for my grandparents as they could not eat heavy food. And she did it for decades.
The amount good parents do for us, we can never repay that debt.
[–]frogirl1993FDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah I realized once my dad passed and I had a kid of my own how much I took him for granted.
From the time I was roughly 7 he became my stay at home parent. He cooked, he cleaned, he did laundry, he took care of the trash, he got me up and ready for school, he would do the shopping unless we did it as a family, even drove my mom to and from work so she wouldn't have to drive (she hates driving). He would always have a hot cup of fresh coffee in the car when he picked her up and a hot meal when she came home (even if it was late). He used to make chicken soup in the winter to put outside for the stray cats and would warm up milk for them too.
I wish I could go back and tell him how much I now appreciate all the little stuff he did, teenage me totally didn't appreciate all he did. Hell I'm a parent and sometimes wonder how the hell he managed to do it all.
[–]guacamole1987FDS Newbie10 points11 points12 points 5 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
Trash and honestly being an Indian women, I see most Indian guys are giant man children like this. Most troubling is that their mothers enable them so much, treating them like little princes. Most Indian guys I dated were like this. And if you’re like me and enjoy cooking, I’d always say something like “hey uhhh this isn’t me being a dutiful domesticated housewife doormat, this just happens to be something I enjoy and you should be supplementing this by picking up other household chores”. Always never worked lol.
My HVM husband feels bad I cook dinner more often than he does (which, to be fair, I’m just using him as my test taster during quarantine/social distancing so it’s kinda fun), he does EVERYTHING else - cleans up the whole kitchen and dishes, tidies things, and is always super thankful we aren’t eating takeout. He also organizes all of our recipes when we find a new one we like... so although splitting household duties can’t always be 50/50, you can definitely tell the LVM scrotes from the HVM by how they supplement your efforts, ladies.
[–]youdipthongFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My dad is Indian and I’m very thankful that he actually does a lot of chores and can cook. I hear so many horror stories of other Indian men that do absolutely nothing and I get reminded that my dad is a decent person.
[–]CloacaDiddlerFDS Disciple18 points19 points20 points 5 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link
God, men are totally useless.
I remember being the youngest child of 6 and had daily chores, was learning to sew before 10, do the whole family’s laundry, all the dishes, clean the rooms and wash floors, take care of our many pets, dust, decorate, cook, tend the garden, deep clean the bathrooms....my older brothers? While I was inside on beautiful days with an endless (and never apparently done right) list, they were out riding bikes and climbing trees. I asked how it was fair and I got “they’re boys, they have different chores like mowing the lawn once a month in the summer and taking out the trash.” They took the trash to the end of the driveway but I had to collect it all. I shoveled snow in the winter, raked leaves in the fall, weeded in the spring. I painted and stained our entire porch and back deck and dog pen by myself one summer. The one thing I apparently was restricted by my gender from doing was using the riding lawn mower.
My dad came home from work every night, sat in a chair in front of the tv, and got up long enough to eat the dinner made for him. My brothers pursued girls in highschool by asking them how many kids they were filling to raise and homeschool. One brother lost his fiancée because they were both fresh out of college and piled under debt but he refused to let her work so they couldn’t marry until he somehow paid all his debts and had enough money to support them by himself...so she could be the at home baby maker. She left him and married a different guy who she has a couple kids with, and he’s still working three jobs to support himself and has junk food and depression.
I really do pity the women any of my brothers get with. They’re not bad people, but they were raised with such misogyny and entitlement and “men are the supreme beings and women are well behaved slaves.” Meanwhile I’m eternally frustrated at my dating choices because I don’t want to be with someone like that either, but try finding a guy that can cook you a decent dinner and wash his own laundry. Even conversations with most men are simpler, slower, less connected. My girl friends and I are on far more similar wavelengths and share more experiences. It feels equal to be with a woman, and it feels like work to be with a man.
[–]-badmadAMFDS Apprentice3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Even conversations with most men are simpler, slower, less connected. My girl friends and I are on far more similar wavelengths and share more experiences. It feels equal to be with a woman, and it feels like work to be with a man.
I second that, you have put it so beautifully too. The tragic of being heterosexual.
[–]hoping_for_funFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That was so sad to read. How is that not considered abuse? Don't the Dursleys treat harry like that in the Potter books and that shows he is abused? I think even he was treated better/had less chores. I hope you are good now.
I dont understand parents who can do this to girls. How can you do this to your children? My dad would stay up with me when I had a tooth ache because he literally could not sleep, he would do my hair, take me to school, doctor, clean up our vomit, etc. The only thing he would not do is cook because he sucked at it. He has no appreciation for food. Though as an adult, I understand that my dad was an excellent dad but a horrible husband. Sigh.
[–]light_workerx3FDS Newbie21 points22 points23 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is like my father .. all he knew how to cook was a grilled cheese . He would maybe throw in a slice of tomato in there to switch it up 🤦🏻♀️🤣 I love my dad but I deff am grateful to have my mother around as I have learned from her wonderful cooking .
[–]TheOGJammiesRuthless Strategist5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
They do this at work as well
[–]lunchladyshandFDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
To be fair, my mother was a terrible cook. It was HER incompetence (and my father not being in the picture at all) that inspired me to learn.
[–]Ghost_namesakeFDS Newbie9 points10 points11 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I just don't understand how people make it through life not being able to properly cook.
[–]99powerFDS Apprentice1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
They seem to be okay eating bread, butter, and egg mayonnaise salad all their life. Source: my mother.
[–]rhubarbidooo9 points10 points11 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
True to the core. My dad is a chemist who couldn't fry an egg to save his life. Therefore my mom HAD TO take care of these tasks and more
[–]FitncurlyFDS Disciple[🍰] 8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Not to drag your dad, but if he’s a chemist, he can fry an egg, he just didn’t want to...
[–]rhubarbidooo1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Exactly that's the point :(
[–]ahhvey1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Wow. This sub has opened my eyes to so many things in my life
[–]ClassicBadFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This happened to me too when I was about 14. My 50 something father had never learned (or tried) to use a washing machine either so I picked up all the housework.
[–]lives4books0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
THIS!!! Same thing happened to me. Was paying all the household bills, doing all the shopping, laundry and cooking by 16. Now when I meet a competent man I’m in awe. It’s pathetic how low the bar is.
[–]smallishtreeFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I mean yes, bad job dad for not learning this stuff BEFORE mom left! I was gonna say, “to be fair, he could just be really depressed because his wife left him and abandoned their child.”
But it’s super implied he never did this stuff even before and made no effort much longer after. :/
© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.created by /u/dream-hunter
[–]Phoenix__Rising2018Ruthless Strategist407 points408 points409 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]AprilMoon9263 points264 points265 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]omfgreubenFDS Newbie118 points119 points120 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]99powerFDS Apprentice35 points36 points37 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]SansaDeservedBetterFDS Disciple291 points292 points293 points (13 children) | Copy Link
[–]ahsiemkcipFDS Newbie186 points187 points188 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Faefae33FDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]omfgreubenFDS Newbie88 points89 points90 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]shmarharFDS Newbie55 points56 points57 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]99powerFDS Apprentice34 points35 points36 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]omfgreubenFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]asteria2002FDS Apprentice6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]iforgotwhatiwasaying2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]OrangeyPandaFDS Apprentice29 points30 points31 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]PinkBlair99FDS Newbie58 points59 points60 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]BovvsetteFDS Disciple224 points225 points226 points (12 children) | Copy Link
[–]MindeskaFDS Newbie146 points147 points148 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]AwkwardDisaster4150FDS Newbie109 points110 points111 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]SallyTwoSocksFDS Newbie56 points57 points58 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]AlextheAnalystPickmeisha™️18 points19 points20 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]solitaireloverFDS Newbie22 points23 points24 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]GrapeJuiceEnthusiastFDS Disciple7 points8 points9 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]AwkwardDisaster4150FDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Ghost_namesakeFDS Newbie20 points21 points22 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]pickmieshaexorcistFDS Disciple14 points15 points16 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]AlextheAnalystPickmeisha™️6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]lluuniFDS Newbie71 points72 points73 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]AlextheAnalystPickmeisha™️6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Charming_Mix7930FDS Newbie141 points142 points143 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]eelima34 points35 points36 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Unlikely-MarzipanRuthless Strategist46 points47 points48 points (8 children) | Copy Link
[–]SayNadFDS Newbie30 points31 points32 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Unlikely-MarzipanRuthless Strategist16 points17 points18 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]SayNadFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Angrboda229FDS Newbie23 points24 points25 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Unlikely-MarzipanRuthless Strategist22 points23 points24 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]flowers4uFDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Unlikely-MarzipanRuthless Strategist0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]DV_throwaway19675FDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]finance_ladyFDS Newbie35 points36 points37 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]YourMzFortuneFDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]SayNadFDS Newbie65 points66 points67 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]flowers4uFDS Newbie24 points25 points26 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]SayNadFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ciceriiFDS Newbie86 points87 points88 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]MindeskaFDS Newbie63 points64 points65 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]GrapeJuiceEnthusiastFDS Disciple3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]msnajahmarie26 points27 points28 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]elvn-elvnFDS Newbie44 points45 points46 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]-badmadAMFDS Apprentice14 points15 points16 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]elvn-elvnFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Ghost_namesakeFDS Newbie16 points17 points18 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]V0703FDS Newbie70 points71 points72 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]eelima26 points27 points28 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Ghost_namesakeFDS Newbie21 points22 points23 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]laneypie20000 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]-badmadAMFDS Apprentice7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Equal-Ear2312FDS Apprentice77 points78 points79 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]SallyTwoSocksFDS Newbie43 points44 points45 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Equal-Ear2312FDS Apprentice10 points11 points12 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]99powerFDS Apprentice2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]curlygirl507FDS Apprentice29 points30 points31 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]frogirl1993FDS Newbie11 points12 points13 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]hoping_for_funFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]frogirl1993FDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]guacamole1987FDS Newbie10 points11 points12 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]youdipthongFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]CloacaDiddlerFDS Disciple18 points19 points20 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]-badmadAMFDS Apprentice3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]hoping_for_funFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]light_workerx3FDS Newbie21 points22 points23 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]TheOGJammiesRuthless Strategist5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]lunchladyshandFDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Ghost_namesakeFDS Newbie9 points10 points11 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]99powerFDS Apprentice1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]rhubarbidooo9 points10 points11 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]FitncurlyFDS Disciple[🍰] 8 points9 points10 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]rhubarbidooo1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ahhvey1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ClassicBadFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]lives4books0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]smallishtreeFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link