Wow...

Phoenix__Rising2018 · 2020-11-24T11:35:15+00:00

This is why I cook for myself and eat in front of these assholes

SansaDeservedBetter · 2020-11-24T12:13:47+00:00

This is literally a plotpoint in Matilda. Why would you want to do this to your children? Men should want them to enjoy food and get properly cooked and nutritious meals to ensure that they grow up healthy and with good habits.

Bovvsette · 2020-11-24T12:07:32+00:00

Let him taste his incompetence as a parent and as a functional adult in a form of his frozen trash or nothing at all. Why would she need to cook for him? It's so crazy how some men get to their deathbeds without touching their laundry or ever cooking a meal, yet a woman has to master all life skills and various cuisines before even hitting puberty. It's so unfair.

lluuni · 2020-11-24T13:57:55+00:00

My HV dad always cooked us nutritious meals, and still does to this day when I visit. Never settle for a man that wouldn’t be able to take care of your children if something were to happen to you.

Charming_Mix7930 · 2020-11-24T12:54:16+00:00

My father once complained about the pasta I made because the sauce was too heavy for him. I answered: well... then cook your meals yourself.

I also criticized him because he didn't do any housework (neither did my brother). So I told him that he should hire someone or start paying me for my work. Next day he interviewed someone.

Unlikely-Marzipan · 2020-11-24T14:02:53+00:00

Yep! One of my friends today was going on about how much she loves cooking and cooks for her male housemate...because at least it means she won’t eat it all. So even if they’re not dating you they expect you to cook for them! (This guy tried to date me for a long time, but he always came across as desperate and like he expected a very “traditional” wife, and tried desperately to fit me into that box).

Guess his housemate fills the cooking and cleaning role though for now.

finance_lady · 2020-11-24T14:32:30+00:00

When I was growing up, on Thanksgiving every year, my female cousins and I (all under age 16, three of us) had to clear the table and wash all the dishes for approximately 25 kids and family members. It took at least 2 hours for us to do that every year. The adults told us, "we paid our dues with clean up our whole childhood on holidays; now it's your turn."

My male cousins under 16, two of them, were allowed to go sit on the couch and watch football as soon as we were done eating. They didn't have to touch any dirty dishes. The adult women did all the cooking. The adult men did nothing but enjoy eating...and watching football.

That was my mom's side of the family.

As an adult, I only spend holidays with my dad's side now (which is a long story in itself because my mom passed away in 2012 - though I am welcome at my mom's side). I help clean up...but it's by choice, and adult men help. The kids under 16 are not treated like slave labor. The adult men also pitch in on cooking. My cousin's husband plans the menu and shops for everything. This is with also hosting about 25 people at their house for Christmas. It's amazing how different it feels to help when it's by choice and EVERYONE is happy to do something! Of course, this year we prob won't gather like that due to COVID. Blah. :(

SayNad · 2020-11-24T14:18:04+00:00

Men have the scary ability to not give a fuck until it became catastrophic, and then they will put the teary-man drama and preach about "life lesson: don't be like me". Tale as old as time. See how many destruction occurred over the history of humanity, and how many men being all wise and shit after they destroy things. Always after, always.

Never expect them to change - they are willing to literally drown in trash mountain if they think that's what they wanna do. That's them being men. Egoistical on the most bullshittiest of issue.

The only way us women can survive and not being dragged down together into this toxic mudslide is by getting as far away as these people. Don't believe the propaganda of "You can change them with loveeeee" like of course patriarchy always put the blame and responsibilities on women, while they be out there destroying things. Women will be destroyed too in the process, that is just how these scrotes are.

The only way to win is to not engage. Run, get away, stay far farrrrr away.

cicerii · 2020-11-24T11:26:01+00:00

I really don’t get this. Why they’d rather order doordash than trouble themselves to boil some pasta.

msnajahmarie · 2020-11-24T13:35:28+00:00

Longtime lurker/reader of this Reddit and my father’s the opposite. He can cook decent meals but will only cook if HE feels like eating something (otherwise work comes first and frozen dinners come second,) OR if my younger sisters spend a few nights at his apartment. Usually, I’m cooking for myself and doing domestic work (99.9% of the time) and he’ll only “wash dishes” if he cooks or every couple of weeks.

Thank GOD for this /Reddit thread and the fact that I’ve moved half my stuff out (quietly.) 🙌🏽🙌🏽

elvn-elvn · 2020-11-24T14:04:07+00:00

Seems like most single fathers with daughters force their daughters to raise them

Ghost_namesake · 2020-11-24T14:48:31+00:00

Growing up, my mom wanted to teach me to cook. I always refused because I saw it as "girl stuff" and I was a tomboy. Once I got into college and was on my own, I discovered that I did indeed enjoy eating good food. I quickly began to teach myself to cook. I still kick myself for having resisted my mom's offers of teaching all those years!

I can't imagine how anyone makes it through life with no cooking skills. My food tastes better than restaurants! It's a dangerous skill to have because all the men I've been with latched onto the cooking and proceeded to be lazy while I fed us. Thanks to FDS, I'm never putting up with that again.

V0703 · 2020-11-24T11:36:03+00:00

Yea same, living with my divorced dad and he doesn't bother learning how to cook. I tried to learn by myself but all he does is nag about how it taste and how expensive cooking is. :(

Equal-Ear2312 · 2020-11-24T12:53:27+00:00

she was a parentified child. She didn't get to enjoy being a child because her father's laziness and incompetency made her take upon the role of cook/ aide/ handmaid. if I were her, I would have cooked only for myself. ley him eat the frozen stuff.

curlygirl507 · 2020-11-24T14:12:33+00:00

"Incompetence" is too nice a word. It's more like parental neglect.

frogirl1993 · 2020-11-24T15:19:55+00:00

I know this is sadly the norm but it always reminds me how different my dad was. I don't think I cooked a single thing (not counting microwaving a hot pocket) till after he died. Hell even after I became a vegetarian he learned how to cook the plant based foods and tried to come up with new ways to use them to try to replicate foods I used to like.

guacamole1987 · 2020-11-24T15:43:14+00:00

Trash and honestly being an Indian women, I see most Indian guys are giant man children like this. Most troubling is that their mothers enable them so much, treating them like little princes. Most Indian guys I dated were like this. And if you’re like me and enjoy cooking, I’d always say something like “hey uhhh this isn’t me being a dutiful domesticated housewife doormat, this just happens to be something I enjoy and you should be supplementing this by picking up other household chores”. Always never worked lol.

My HVM husband feels bad I cook dinner more often than he does (which, to be fair, I’m just using him as my test taster during quarantine/social distancing so it’s kinda fun), he does EVERYTHING else - cleans up the whole kitchen and dishes, tidies things, and is always super thankful we aren’t eating takeout. He also organizes all of our recipes when we find a new one we like... so although splitting household duties can’t always be 50/50, you can definitely tell the LVM scrotes from the HVM by how they supplement your efforts, ladies.

CloacaDiddler · 2020-11-24T15:35:33+00:00

God, men are totally useless.

I remember being the youngest child of 6 and had daily chores, was learning to sew before 10, do the whole family’s laundry, all the dishes, clean the rooms and wash floors, take care of our many pets, dust, decorate, cook, tend the garden, deep clean the bathrooms....my older brothers? While I was inside on beautiful days with an endless (and never apparently done right) list, they were out riding bikes and climbing trees. I asked how it was fair and I got “they’re boys, they have different chores like mowing the lawn once a month in the summer and taking out the trash.” They took the trash to the end of the driveway but I had to collect it all. I shoveled snow in the winter, raked leaves in the fall, weeded in the spring. I painted and stained our entire porch and back deck and dog pen by myself one summer. The one thing I apparently was restricted by my gender from doing was using the riding lawn mower.

My dad came home from work every night, sat in a chair in front of the tv, and got up long enough to eat the dinner made for him. My brothers pursued girls in highschool by asking them how many kids they were filling to raise and homeschool. One brother lost his fiancée because they were both fresh out of college and piled under debt but he refused to let her work so they couldn’t marry until he somehow paid all his debts and had enough money to support them by himself...so she could be the at home baby maker. She left him and married a different guy who she has a couple kids with, and he’s still working three jobs to support himself and has junk food and depression.

I really do pity the women any of my brothers get with. They’re not bad people, but they were raised with such misogyny and entitlement and “men are the supreme beings and women are well behaved slaves.” Meanwhile I’m eternally frustrated at my dating choices because I don’t want to be with someone like that either, but try finding a guy that can cook you a decent dinner and wash his own laundry. Even conversations with most men are simpler, slower, less connected. My girl friends and I are on far more similar wavelengths and share more experiences. It feels equal to be with a woman, and it feels like work to be with a man.

light_workerx3 · 2020-11-24T12:38:08+00:00

This is like my father .. all he knew how to cook was a grilled cheese . He would maybe throw in a slice of tomato in there to switch it up 🤦🏻‍♀️🤣 I love my dad but I deff am grateful to have my mother around as I have learned from her wonderful cooking .

TheOGJammies · 2020-11-24T14:58:35+00:00

They do this at work as well

lunchladyshand · 2020-11-24T14:25:47+00:00

To be fair, my mother was a terrible cook. It was HER incompetence (and my father not being in the picture at all) that inspired me to learn.

rhubarbidooo · 2020-11-24T13:01:27+00:00

True to the core. My dad is a chemist who couldn't fry an egg to save his life. Therefore my mom HAD TO take care of these tasks and more

ahhvey · 2020-11-24T15:17:53+00:00

Wow. This sub has opened my eyes to so many things in my life

ClassicBad · 2020-11-24T14:22:33+00:00

This happened to me too when I was about 14. My 50 something father had never learned (or tried) to use a washing machine either so I picked up all the housework.

lives4books · 2020-11-24T16:12:46+00:00

THIS!!! Same thing happened to me. Was paying all the household bills, doing all the shopping, laundry and cooking by 16. Now when I meet a competent man I’m in awe. It’s pathetic how low the bar is.

smallishtree · 2020-11-24T16:43:31+00:00

I mean yes, bad job dad for not learning this stuff BEFORE mom left! I was gonna say, “to be fair, he could just be really depressed because his wife left him and abandoned their child.”

But it’s super implied he never did this stuff even before and made no effort much longer after. :/

Title	Wow...
Author	Ok_Ad_67
Upvotes	1678
Comments	83
Date	November 24, 2020 11:04 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/k0311z/wow/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/wow.746923 https://theredarchive.com/post/746923

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