Important background info: I am detransitioned, FtMtF, and identified as trans for 6 years - I was on testosterone hormone replacement therapy (HRT) injections for the latter two years. During that time, my testosterone levels were in the normal male range, and my estrogen and progesterone levels dropped to typical male levels bc testosterone suppresses ovarian function. My DHEA-S (another androgen) has always been high enough to fall in the male range, and it also rose even more on testosterone HRT. So, hormonally, I had as close to the "male experience" as a female body can. Obviously that had a ton of effects in every aspect of my life, but for the sake of this post, I'll focus on sexual changes.

Also critical context: I was a fucking loser, looked my absolute worst, and had ZERO romantic success at that time in my life, despite pleeeeeenty of attempts to express interest/attraction in friends, dating app matches, etc (both male and female, I'm bi). I was cripplingly lonely and romantically/sexually frustrated.

I never, not even once, felt like I needed to have sex to the point of considering hiring an escort, deceiving someone to get them into bed, or god forbid violating someone's bodily autonomy or consent. I was horny beyond all reason, don't get me wrong, but I just invested in a variety of different sex toys and took matters into my own hands (sometimes several times a day). I definitely wished I had a partner participating, obviously, and sometimes I'd feel super sad/frustrated or solo orgasms wouldn't satisfy the craving, but at those moments I'd just get up and distract myself with exercise, media, journaling, or socialization and it'd pass.

Testosterone causes clitoral growth and basically rearranges the nerve endings during that process which caused a lot of sensitivity/genital awareness outside of sexual contexts, so accidental stimulation could lead to the pussy equivalent of middle-school-boy-style "no reason boners", and I found my thoughts got involuntarily drawn back to sex more than I was used to - but that was the closest thing I experienced to the all-encompassing, unignorable urge that some men describe when discussing their libidos, and it was still perfectly manageable without ever feeling that I needed access to another person's body.

I've seen men on this sub say that women couldn't possibly understand what it's like, and that sex is a need when you have a testosterone-driven libido. But, speaking as one of the few people who has experienced both an estrogen-dominant and a testosterone-dominant hormonal profile: the libido is really not that different. If you're unable to manage your sex drive on your own, that isn't an indication that you require another person's assistance - it's an indication that you need to take some accountability for your emotional state and figure out better coping skills.

Like I said, when the frustration (sexual and/or emotional) got overwhelming for me, I just switched gears and did something else that brought me fulfillment; emotions are fleeting, they're a temporary nerve impulse/exchange of neurotransmitters if we go down to a molecular level. Just because you feel a certain way doesn't mean you're going to feel that way forever, so learn to ride the waves. It's your job as an adult to self-regulate, and when men claim their libido is unregulatable, that just sounds like a big fat excuse to me. Grow up and deal with it - your libido doesn't own you, and testosterone sure as hell doesn't supersede mind over matter. Again, speaking from experience: my self control didn't just evaporate while my hormonal profile was testosterone dominant, nope, I was still perfectly capable of managing my own mind and body. So quit making excuses, sounds like a skill issue.