Do men really struggle with dating? Every guy I know has a girlfriend or wife.

MasterTeacher123 · 2023-07-03T23:29:03+00:00

Most men take what they can get. It’s like anything in life, like the job market for example

Responsible_Ice3149 · 2023-07-03T19:57:32+00:00

Eastern Europe, a lot of regions have a relative high number of women to men ratio, while int the US is worse.

Practicing_Raccoon · 2023-07-04T00:04:34+00:00

Eastern European that lives in the US here. It's totally different largely because Eastern Europe is more traditional (men are more masculine/women are more feminine) and in countries like Russia with way more women than men, women take what they can get. Eastern Europe has it's flaws, but it beats men over the head with masculinity from a young age and women are attracted to that. Eastern European men are much more aggressive, assertive and stoic. On the flip side, they tend towards alcoholism, unequal partnerships, and abuse is not nearly as frowned upon. "If he hits you he loves you," as they say.

toasterchild · 2023-07-03T23:28:21+00:00

Every single guy I know in construction is in a relationship, in the US. I work in a construction related field so that is a lot of guys. The few guys I know who struggle massively are in office jobs, they dress like their mom's still pick out their clothing and have a hard time making direct eye contact.

Everyone's struggle is different, but I think the vast majority of the strugglers have major social issues.

Currentlycurious1 · 2023-07-03T21:11:28+00:00

Eastern Europe is way more traditional, a guy simply having a job will go a lot further than in the west. The more freedom and power have, the more picky they can be and the more men won't get chosen

AstronautLoveShack · 2023-07-03T20:03:21+00:00

I don't know a lot of strugglers either. And the ones I do know have had sex and/or relationships, but not for a few years or more. But there are articles and studies that say that people of both sexes are either prolonging their virginities or haven't had sex in a year or more. For some of those people it's a conscious choice, but not for all of them.

Iakobos_Mathematikos · 2023-07-04T01:17:57+00:00

I know I’m a real-life incel. Does that count?

ThorLives · 2023-07-04T01:55:13+00:00

Yes.

In two charts:

Fewer and fewer people are getting married and in relationships. A chart: https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2014/09/24/record-share-of-americans-have-never-married/st-2014-09-24-never-married-08/

Kids that are infants right now are on track to have a 50/50 chance of ever getting married by the age of 50.

The effect is more pronounced for men than women: https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2014/09/24/record-share-of-americans-have-never-married/st-2014-09-24-never-married-01/

Both of my grandparents had a number of kids, and grandkids. When I look around at people in my family, there is a clear decline - by age - in the ability of family members to get into relationships or get married. Older relatives are mostly married. A lot of younger relatives are single - even though they're in their 30s.

People who try to hand-wave away the issue by saying stuff like "it's just a problem for reddit nerds" are out of touch with reality.

Grand-Inspection2303 · 2023-07-03T22:47:56+00:00

"What's your take on this? Do men in the United States really struggle with dating? Do you know real-life incels?"

Yes, I'm a 35 YO without any romantic experience to speak of, and I have a couple friends who had very little success until their 30s. However, US men don't struggle nearly at the rates suggested by Reddit pilled communities who claim or at least strongly imply that the "average" guy has little chance at success. I didn't find any completely up-to-date Statistics, but unless things have drastically changed in just the last 5 years, statistics show that men like me are very much a minority: Trends in Frequency of Sexual Activity and Number of Sexual Partners Among Adults Aged 18 to 44 Years in the US, 2000-2018 | Adolescent Medicine | JAMA Network Open | JAMA Network

This study shows about 75% of men 18-44 having sex at least once a month. The group that struggled the most was 18-24 yo with 60% having sex at least once a month, but the number for 25-44 yo men is closer to 80%. Still there was about 15% of men who did not have sex at all for the whole year and 10% who only 1-2 times. That's still a very large number of people despite being a fraction of the male population.

big_guy_not_small · 2023-07-04T00:13:58+00:00

Someone having a girlfriend or a wife doesn't really tell you if they struggled to date or not.

If most men were honest, they'd probably tell you that they struggled with dating to some degree.

A Dark Souls game doesn't become retroactively easy just because you beat it. You still died 100 times.

Unless you're defining struggle as "permanent virgin," then yeah, most men don't struggle I guess lol.

PMmeareasontolive · 2023-07-04T03:31:58+00:00

Why that flair then?

raldabos · 2023-07-04T03:33:05+00:00

Eastern Europe countries tend to have more female to male ratio compared to the US(https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_sovereign_states_by_sex_ratio#/media/File:Sex_ratio_total_population_per_country_2020.svg), that's one factor for how relationships work but the biggest one is that they tend to be more traditional than the US. Having said that, yes most men are in relationships, the small minority who doesn't is slowly increasing with each passing year, another user already posted the statistics here.

Tricky_Dog1465 · 2023-07-04T07:08:46+00:00

I'm in my 40s and every guy I know who wants to be in a relationship is in one. Maybe it is age but every guy I know is good too.

I do understand that I'm in a small town though.

Late_Hotel3404 · 2023-07-04T16:00:14+00:00

I’m confused. Doesn’t your flair say you’re a virgin..?

RedBullfrog · 2023-07-04T16:46:47+00:00

Is finding, at some point in your life, one woman who wants to be in a relationship with you, “successful dating”? If yes, then most men are successful daters.

Far_Significance2023 · 2023-07-04T17:27:56+00:00

You only knowing men with partners prove the point of single men here, who are excluded from social gatherings, never invited to anything, etc.

n00bst3r47 · 2023-07-05T21:21:00+00:00

So I'm going to be very controversial. It's because the men in your social circle are ones with health social lives. I say this purely based on anecdotal evidence, many a times people who struggle with dating are ones with poor mental health. Thus, you become averse to social interactions, and let's face it, dating is little more than a human social activity. However, unlike women, men's mental health issues aren't treated or looked in the same light. For example, if your GF has issues, you are conditioned to show care and comfort. But if your BF has issues, you are conditioned to feel scared and anxious and leave them be. It does make sense because, on average, women pose a lower physical threat, and their erratic mood swings are seen as a cry for help. In the case of men, erratic behavior is seen as a threat to their partners' well-being. I guess that's the genuine struggle men face. It's difficult to date when you are socially isolated, and you are socially isolated because your issues might not receive the same care that is required.

szclimber · 2023-07-03T23:30:47+00:00

Note to self. Move to Eastern Europe.

BioNipple · 2023-07-03T22:48:16+00:00

Construction workers are fukbois.

Kaminaxgurren · 2023-07-03T23:47:21+00:00

Yeah life in the US seems to be a dice roll for a man. I hate it here, can't wait to leave.

TheGreatBeefSupreme · 2023-07-04T05:10:24+00:00

60-something percent of young men under 30 are single in the US. There are far fewer women on the dating market than men here.

Kliere · 2023-07-03T21:11:55+00:00

It sounds like you have a selection bias. Construction, though not the highest paid on average, is still a relatively decent career field. By default, your coworkers are going to have a higher market value than probably 50+% of men.

InjectAdrenochrome · 2023-07-03T22:16:52+00:00

I know a couple who struggle and they never stop complaining** about it all damn day that they are 5'11.75 and not 6ft and that that means they are a hopeless manlet. Despite banging overweight women they don't want to commit to. It's just guys whining they can't find dainty petite women ime

bryansodred · 2023-07-04T04:06:50+00:00

Do men really struggle with dating? Every guy I know has a girlfriend or wife.

In other words, me and everyone i know eats 3 meals per day. Do ppl really go hungry? Does world hunger really exist in other countries. Smdh.

redguard_crime_stats · 2023-07-03T23:18:03+00:00

I live in Eastern Europe

There you go.

Longjumping-Goat-348 · 2023-07-04T00:21:41+00:00

Eastern Europe is far different than America.

social_mules_alt · 2023-07-04T00:58:35+00:00

What's your take on this? Do men in the United States really struggle with dating?

I'm sure some do.

Do you know real-life incels?

Nope. Not a single solitary one. I do know guys who go through dry spells.

come_crawling_faster · 2023-07-04T00:56:08+00:00

Answer: No

Remember, Reddit is vastly overrepresented with awkward social outcasts, many of the autism spectrum

This sub in particular is a circle jerk for the "dating is so unfair to men" self-pity group, all to justify why they're so afraid to engage with women in the real world

Tostitos153 · 2023-07-04T01:42:02+00:00

It’s pretty much the same here more or less. Keep in mind a big factor in your observation is that you’re seeing these guys and meeting them outside in person. The guy who complain about this shit don’t usually go outside and aren’t exactly always active members in society.

SecretAccount111191 · 2023-07-04T09:06:36+00:00

Define struggle

Individual_Speech_10 · 2023-07-04T12:04:51+00:00

Not even just men. Every group the internet claims has difficulty dating (i.e. fat people, neurodivergent people, LGBT+ people, etc.) I always constantly see in relationships in my day to day life. The only person I know that can't find someone is me.

Educational_Ad4410 · 2023-07-04T14:49:06+00:00

Eastern europe, guys are literally coming from the west to go to Eastern European countries to improve they dating life (geomaxing). The guys complaining are from the west.

bobby995557 · 2023-07-04T00:07:32+00:00

Broke or average men do.

Karmanger · 2023-07-04T07:14:07+00:00

Yes. American dating is worse than European dating… not by much from what I gather

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mooph_ · 2023-07-05T23:25:43+00:00

Eastern European countries have a higher female to male ratio due to men dying early, check out the population pyramids. In Russia there are slightly more men than women in 0-35 age bracket and significantly more women in 45+ bracket

Sanddune1 · 2023-07-06T07:43:00+00:00

Singleness in men is heavily correlated with employment status. Unemployed men are way more likely to be single. This could be a factor which explains your real life experience.

Title	Do men really struggle with dating? Every guy I know has a girlfriend or wife.
Author	OkLingonberryx
Upvotes	19
Comments	118
Date	July 3, 2023 1:11 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/14pingb/do_men_really_struggle_with_dating_every_guy_i/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/do-men-really-struggle-with-dating-every-guy-i.1224266 https://theredarchive.com/post/1224266

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