Do most guys never experience the "talk" with their parents about relationships?

Logos1789 · 2025-11-08T21:25:17+00:00

Most guys don’t get “the talk” beyond “wear a condom and be nice to women” growing up because their mothers settled for a man not due to the characteristics that would benefit a young man in casual sex and dating, but instead due to factors like a steady income and his lack of other alluring options (less likely to cheat).

With the average age of child birth in the early 30’s, and “the talk” occurring around age 12-16, that puts the average age of parents giving “the talk” around mid-40’s, and those people were born in the early 80’s, coming of age well before the smart phone and dating apps.

As popular culture slowly ventures into acknowledging the dynamic of “beta bucks” settling, (For example, in the Barbie movie, the Mom lies to her daughter that the man who drove dangerously/excitingly with her in her 20’s was the daughter’s father, with a wink and a nod to the audience that it was obviously a man who was more sexually and viscerally appealing.), real parents are shying away from addressing “what girls and women like” with their sons, due to the cognitive dissonance this causes women who settled, and their fathers not even knowing what women really want, because they were settled for.

Most sons won’t get a “talk” that’s actually practical and helpful for young men, until the generations of women who grew up before social media, smart phones, and dating apps die off and the majority of fathers are men who women are sincerely, uncompromisingly attracted to, chosen in a world with infinite other options for women to choose from.

Mission-Jicama-8747 · 2025-11-09T04:27:14+00:00

Absolutely not, my mom literally told me to become beta bux and women would be dying to get with a stable provider who didn't drink or use drugs and avoided risks.

It's honestly shocking how horrendous her advice was in retrospect and it has massive long-term damage to me.

Makuta_Servaela · 2025-11-08T20:44:02+00:00

I literally never had a talk with my father about relationships. My mother told me about hymens, since she believes in that, and condom usage and the religious stuff, but my father has never given me any advice.

operation-spot · 2025-11-09T00:23:20+00:00

Obviously I’m not a man but I didn’t have a specific talk, I just had my whole life of learning from my family. When things happened to friends my mom always told me her opinion on that and I took it to heart. Things like teen pregnancy, children out of wedlock, marrying a poor man, being embarrassed by a man, protecting assets, and making good decisions isn’t taught in a single conversation, it’s taught over a lifetime.

Are you really saying that if no one explicitly told you, you wouldn’t know how to conduct yourself even after seeing how things turned out for others?

GhostXmasPast342 · 2025-11-09T04:03:34+00:00

Me: “Dad, will I ever get married?”

Dad: “Of course you will! You are so smart. Girls really like smart boys. Work hard, go to college and girls will start to see you as a potential husband.”

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Outside_Memory5703 · 2025-11-08T23:46:56+00:00

lol, parents don’t do that to women, they just tell them not to get raped, pregnant or be a slut

MarioWilson122 · 2025-11-08T20:00:55+00:00

Well parents use to have the birds and the bees talk with their children. Might not be as common as it was back in the day though. I think nowadays the parents wait for the kids to have questions, then answer them as best as they can. So I think that's new age way of doing it as far as I've heard.

DGenerationMC · 2025-11-08T20:05:52+00:00

My father gave me the "talk" about relationships (don't be in a rush to get married, don't sleep with/date/get overly attached to the first woman who gives you attention, always wear a condom, watch out for golddiggers, be wary of how she interacts with other men, get a DNA test if she says she's pregnant, lawyer up and just pay when child support comes up if it's yours, etc.) repeatedly as I grew up because he's an antisocial and a bit of a paranoid guy who doesn't like people.

With how cynical and whiny he is, I bet he'd fit in great here. Now, granted, his life experience and stories of the past that he's shared with me makes sense of his disposition but it's tiring to be around after a while.

TKD1989 · 2025-11-09T01:19:24+00:00

I didn't really have it from my father, as he was extremely socially awkward and out of touch with modern trends

half_avocado33 · 2025-11-08T20:04:11+00:00

My husband and i got weird "tips" from our parents.

His mother told him he can get a poor girl, they will take care of her. Whatever that means. MIL is a sweetheart.

His father is the biggest player i know. All he did was damn teach him how to put on a condom...after he already started having sex and been using condoms for a while already.

My mother never gave me tips because she knew i'll be fine. I don't tolerate bs and she knows it.

My father tried to push me to enter a relationship with a guy i wasn't attracted to, but he had money. He cut the crap after i made it very clear i am entering a relationship with who i want.

RealityCold4693 · 2025-11-08T22:44:24+00:00

No, not really most w boys talks how to keep a woman it’s not about how to pick out a woman but really how to keep a woman

Lemon_gecko · 2025-11-08T20:02:04+00:00

Nope, never had one. To be fair i don’t consider my parents really a people whose advice i should listen to on this matter.

kvakerok_v2 · 2025-11-09T10:45:36+00:00

"The talk" makes it known that the "fun man" and the "husband man" are two different men and most blue pill husbands had no fucking clue about any of this up until recently. Girls get this talk low key, away from dads. Most boys never do.

This is actually the main driver of divorces and growth of manosphere: women being done with the "husband men" and looking for "fun men" to get dicked by, while clueless blue pill guys suddenly finding out they're the dog shit backup option.

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Fan_Service_3703 · 2025-11-08T19:57:30+00:00

My parents are very religious muslims so it was very much not something talked about in our household.

mobjack · 2025-11-08T20:08:47+00:00

My parents just talked about safe sex.

fucksiclepizza · 2025-11-08T20:12:16+00:00

My parents never had the talk with me nor did my wife's parents with her.

ThorLives · 2025-11-08T20:27:27+00:00

My parents never gave me any talks about relationships or sex. I do know that, at some point, they gave my older brother a book that explained sex and puberty. Not sure why they never gave me the talk.

I don't know if they simply forgot to give me "the talk", or maybe they were uncomfortable giving "the talk", or maybe they just figured that we, as boys, would just figure it out. For what it's worth, my parents were also extremely religious and were very much advocates of abstinence / "no sex before marriage".

As far as relationships, my dad has said on numerous occasions that he had no idea what he was doing with women and that he'd get really shy and nervous around women. Sometimes I wonder how in the world he actually managed to date my mother or get married. So that's probably why my dad never gave us any talks about relationships - because he had fumbled his way through it all, and didn't seem to have much advice to give.

Siukslinis_acc · 2025-11-08T21:00:54+00:00

What kind of a talk I got from my parents:

Don't marry an only child (who has no siblings).
Live together a bit before marrying.
Don't live with their parents.

We did have a book about where children come from, so it addressed procreation. And we had books about puberty.

The rest of relationship stuff is just observing people (usually your parents or extended family) in their relationships.

attendquoi · 2025-11-08T21:17:06+00:00

I got the basic sex ed talk, and even then it was just being handed a book. The only way my father helped with dating was serving as a prime example of the type of man to avoid lol

CauchyRiemann04 · 2025-11-08T21:58:43+00:00

No. My parents raised me to be aware of boundaries and respect them, but everything else I learned from experience and testimony.

Neglius · 2025-11-08T22:17:34+00:00

Nope, never got any sorts of talks beyond my mother very briefly expressing the want for more grandchildren, which my older brother already has covered.

Ego73 · 2025-11-09T00:54:41+00:00

I mean, my father did tell me about puberty and the physiology of it, why hygiene was more important nowl and so on. I definitely could and did ask about different protection methods and how effective thet were. We never really discussed relationships.

midnight_blue77 · 2025-11-09T08:58:51+00:00

I've heard this phrase being used in 90's sitcoms. My answer is no. Had no idea it was a thing until I saw it in YouTube on 90s shows.

why do you think so many guys never got that talk growing up?

Probably because we already know a hell of a lot more about relationships than they ever did at our age so by the time they think "the talk" should happen they find out we know more than they do.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2025-11-09T17:02:04+00:00

I didn’t really need to give “the talk” with my oldest. What I DID do was be my best to set the best example of what kind of respect and kindness she should receive from anyone by being that person to both my wife and to my daughters AND to the people around me.

asclepieion_ · 2025-11-10T06:59:18+00:00

When I was twelve my dad randomly sat me down one day and told me that I should "never think with my dick" and that I should not marry someone who I cannot have good conversations with no matter how attractive she is.

fools_errand49 · 2025-11-13T20:39:51+00:00

It sounds like I got the exact same talk you did. I was told what kind of guy I was supposed to be and what a girl should be able to expect from me in a relationship etc. That many people get no talk aside, it is most likely the case that boys who recieved a talk were given the exact same information as you. It's just that the idea of relationship expectations has always revolved around what women need for which men are responsible so girls hear what's expected of guys and guys hear what's expected of guys.

No-Comfort1229 · 2025-11-09T12:35:18+00:00

im a woman and i never got this talk. its easy, when you were lucky enough to have good parents, to assume all parents are like yours but the truth is just that you lucked out.

Title	Do most guys never experience the "talk" with their parents about relationships?
Author	PlantComprehensive77
Upvotes	5
Comments	57
Date	November 8, 2025 4:37 PM UTC (9 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1ortwyy/do_most_guys_never_experience_the_talk_with_their/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/do-most-guys-never-experience-the-talk-with-their.1566051 https://theredarchive.com/post/1566051

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