There is a lot of confusion about kindness and attractivity of men in my opinion.

Sometimes I hear or read about "women only love douchebags". This assertion is absurd in itself, there isn't any logic in loving douchebags. However being a douchebag and having a good level of self confidence are very correlated. And women are attracted to self confidence.

However there is also an other thing I don't agree with. When talking about kindness, many women say "Being nice isn't supposed to be attractive, it's the minimum". I don't think it's accurate. If being nice was the minimum to be attractive then douchebags would be single.

That's not the case. Confidence and physical attractivity are pretty important but niceness doesn't seem that important. If I made a ranking, confidence and physical attractivity would be at the top and niceness would be a plus. But that would'nt be considered as a priority. Douchebags men act like this openly because they know it doesn't decrease their attractiveness. It's a way to show they are confident and it's not a disavantage. If it was, they would not behave like that or at least they would hide it. Nice men suffering with social anxiety and low level of self confidence struggle in dating much more that confident douchebags.

Women behaving like douchebags hide it more because men don't prioritize self confidence when they look for a partner. But they value tenderness and affection because they receive affection and tenderness much less than women everyday. Being a jerk is disadvantage for women.

To be clear: My point is NOT to say that niceness doesn't matter. But that confidence matters MORE that niceness. For men showing confidence is much more an advantage than showing niceness. Once again if niceness was a real advantage, jerks would be more discrete.