Q4W: Dolls vs Prostitutes

ChasingSunShine22 · 2018-03-28T10:11:43+00:00

Prostitutes... dolls are creepy.

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2018-03-28T13:46:34+00:00

Why would a man I'd meet be doing either and not just having be sex with regular women through normal dating?

susandeath · 2018-03-28T10:49:31+00:00

Neither.

goatismycopilot · 2018-03-28T14:08:27+00:00

First, I would not want to know either secret, next why can't he date flesh women? Cat lady sounds good.

crumblesnatch · 2018-03-28T12:27:00+00:00

Imagine you've been dating for about 5 months and really like this guy but then he says "I have something to tell you..."

Both of those would be immediate dealbreakers, for different reasons.

If a guy dropped, five months in, "hey I'm seeing prostitutes on the regular," that's, uh, cheating. I only do monogamous relationships, so I would be pissed if he lied to me -- and that's the only way we'd make it five months, is if he were straight-up lying about sleeping with other people. So that's a huge no. That said, in the context of a relationship where he has needs I can't meet, I could probably tolerate negotiated non-monogamy if he were up front about it.

The real doll is a turn-off for a completely separate reason. It tells me that he wants the sex without any of the humanity that makes sex a healthy bonding experience. Fleshlights or other toys can presumably be used with a partner, but a sex doll is a replacement for a partner. I mean, each to their own, but I would not continue dating that guy. It's comparable to that time I dated a guy in college, and he dropped three months in that he was a furry. He had a custom-made blue cat fursuit and everything. I wasn't outwardly disgusted, but I imagine he knew exactly why I broke it off shortly after.

carefreevermillion · 2018-03-28T12:41:43+00:00

I would just break up with that hypothetical person after clarifying what exactly he meant.

tplg · 2018-03-28T17:09:56+00:00

Neither, I'd break up with both.

A man seeing prostitutes would be a deal breaker because it indicates that we value sex differently (I've never had sex outside a relationship, not have I ever felt the desire to). While I don't expect my man to have never slept with other women I do expect him to not take sex that lightly.

The sex doll would be a deal breaker because I think there's something fundamentally wrong with someone who 1) is willing to invest thousands of euros in a sex toy and 2) actually gets turned on by a lifeless, non moving, dead eyed object that resembles a human being.

Like I said in another comment here, something like a simple masturbation aid/toy would not be a deal breaker for me, but I still think it's somewhat weird if a hand does the job just fine (I personally don't use any toys either so I think this is a reasonable expectation).

GinSmokeLies · 2018-03-28T12:46:42+00:00

Prostitutes. But as always I'd prefer he keep his mouth shut and not blab to me about it like a weirdo.

In reality though both would likely be a deal breaker. But I'd be more grossed out by the doll.

Lyanina · 2018-03-28T10:42:32+00:00

Learning about either of those secrets would severely detract from my attraction to him. After only 5 months, I imagine I'd cut my losses.

If my SO (of 2 years) came clean now about the sex worker thing, I think I would break up with him. Sex workers once a month for months, maybe years on end is a pretty big thing to have lied about to me. The idea of him having a multi-thousand dollar sex doll is just so hard to wrap my head around I'm not sure what I would do.

DeathByBeelzie · 2018-03-28T14:01:46+00:00

Neither is a deal breaker or really anything that would bother me.

SmurfESmurferson · 2018-03-28T13:41:20+00:00

I'd dump him primarily for not understanding discretion. Keep your skeletons in your closet, thankyouverymuch.

In terms of which I find more unappealing, the answer is that it's a tie. A man who has to pay to achieve sexual intimacy (either via pros or uncanny valley-esque sex dolls) is demonstrating the opposite of social proof - he literally can't get girls.

I'd probably wonder what was wrong with me that I didn't pick up on that sooner.

JezebeltheQueen5656 · 2018-03-28T15:03:47+00:00

Both are dealbrekaers and no emotional connection of five months will change that. In fact, it all goes down the drain once I learn he used either. Gross.

Littleknownfacts · 2018-03-28T10:07:53+00:00

Ew neither.

whitebunny87 · 2018-03-28T10:32:28+00:00

Prostitutes for sure

Electra_Cute · 2018-03-28T11:11:06+00:00

Prostitutes if I had to choose one.

Xcutshotx · 2018-03-28T18:40:19+00:00

I have hangups about my man's sexual past. So probably the sex doll.

Equalina · 2018-03-28T14:01:11+00:00

Prostitutes for sure. They are thinking, feeling, imperfect human beings like the rest of us, as opposed to (un)realistic, idealized objects of high grade plastic used as masturbation aids - and sometimes bizarrely as permanent female replacements.

It depends what kind of sex workers too though - drug addicted, street corner types are very different from those working in registered brothels or as high class independents. It also depends if he’s just doing it for the sexual release, or for a ‘girlfriend experience ’ where he pays the sex worker to pretend to love him and be more than a sex partner. If it’s the latter, that’s more problematic as it’s a bit weird to be able to live with paying someone to pretend to have a relationship with you...That would be quite a red flag personality wise. Just sex and only with clean, professional sex workers with good standards? I can live with that if he’s a good man.

xRaceCarYaYasx · 2018-03-28T14:12:56+00:00

Dumped for either. I'm not usually attracted to men who can't get regular sex.

And, like some of the other women, it'd be more disgusting to me that he told me rather than keeping his trap shut.

grindlegrundle · 2018-03-28T15:14:39+00:00

Prostitutes, definitely. That’s a person being payed for a service, a doll is a weird, corpse like... thing. I am unsettled by the thought of having sex with someone who’s into that.

rulenumber303 · 2018-03-29T01:20:12+00:00

Women of PPD, would you prefer to date a man who owned a sex doll (one of the high-end, multi thousand dollar ones) or a man who visited sex workers once a month up until meeting you?

No.

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meomeowmeoww · 2018-03-28T10:07:10+00:00

3DPD

lemonfloss · 2018-03-28T14:03:53+00:00

Well it wouldn't be ideal, but if he genuinely did it only before meeting me, then I would feel kinda special, and from what you're saying I connect with him emotionally. So it wouldn't be the worst.

Prince-Noctis · 2018-03-28T13:58:21+00:00

Rather date the dude with a sex doll. Those ain't got STDs quite like a hoe. Wouldn't care since it's just an expensive toy.

kandyapplez · 2018-03-28T17:04:05+00:00

a guy with a sex doll is just a creepy loser who would just naturally never end up in my dating pool.

a guy who seems prostitutes once a month views sex in a way fundamentally different from how i do, and also he will never geive that up in the long term.

id go with the second one, but he'd be fwd only.

Title	Q4W: Dolls vs Prostitutes
Author	ContrasexualWoman
Upvotes	7
Comments	247
Date	March 28, 2018 9:59 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/87qoan/q4w_dolls_vs_prostitutes/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4w-dolls-vs-prostitutes.263088 https://theredarchive.com/post/263088

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