There have been a lot of really thought-provoking OPs today!

Like this one: "What do you believe are the underlying reasons behind the issues men face when dating? How can they be addressed by society as a whole?"

And this Q4W: "Why do many women no longer desire sex after marriage?"

The crux of both of those questions comes down to it's biology.

In comparison to the male libido, the female libido is typically less spontaneous, less compulsory, and slower to arousal, generally speaking.

But why?

Likely starting with chromosomal differences.

Females have two X chromosomes (XX); males have one X and one Y (XY).

This results in hormonal differentials between males and females -- for example, males produce 20x more testosterone than females, per The United States National Library of Medicine.

Transwomen (MtF) undergo feminizing hormone therapy for a reason.

Per Mayo Clinic:

During feminizing hormone therapy, [males desiring feminizing gender-affirming treatment] will be given medication to block the action of the hormone testosterone.

[They'll] also be given the hormone estrogen to decrease testosterone production and induce feminine secondary sex characteristics.

Transmen (FtM) undergo masculinizing hormone therapy for a reason.

Per Mayo Clinic:

During masculinizing hormone therapy, [females desiring masculinizing gender-affirming treatment] will be given the male hormone testosterone, which suppresses their menstrual cycles and decreases the production of estrogen from their ovaries.

Hormones are the gender juice!

Ultimately, these biological skews potentially explain:

  • Why heterosexual dating dynamics favor women — power of being the sex with the less compulsory libido. Female desire for sex is more impacted by myriad factors than seems to be the case with regard to male desire for sex. And to reiterate, this is because the male libido is more compulsory than the female libido, likely due to the differences in hormone skews between the sexes.

  • How the cognitive and behavioral differences that result from the differences between estrogen and testosterone lead to the common interpersonal disconnects between men and women. Many of the debates, the frustrations, the manipulations, the empathy gaps, the male/female solipsism, and so forth can be attributed to this.

Once a frustrated person has accepted these realities, where do they go from here? Hopefully somewhere peaceful. And hopefully with more empathy toward one another and more level-setting of expectations.