From my personal experience, the women I have dated/messed around with high body counts almost universally have some combination of:

  • Lack of a father figure/good male role models
  • Sexual trauma, relationship trauma
  • Fetishes and an inability to have normal sex
  • Borderline sex addiction, elevated physical needs in the relationship
  • Much more likely to cheat and typically have a history of cheating
  • Self esteem / Mental health issues
  • Some weird ex that's still in the picture or "just friends"

By contrast, the women I have dated with lower body counts, or people who had sex only in relationships the above qualities almost never appear. I have seen this trend play out regardless of age, race, or economic background.

I think that people take a very antagonistic stance to n count because they feel redpillers are attacking the ability of women to have sex, when in my experience the issue is more that a high n count is predictive of much worse problems to come in the relationship.

The reason that you hear 'it's different for a man' is probably because many of these issues above don't manifest as much for men so women don't have as big of a deal with men who sleep. For example it's very rare for men to experience sexual trauma.

No one is saying that women can't have boundaries if they don't want to date male whores, just that the impacts are probably felt more.