What is the possible solutions for imbalance bargining power for sex?

toasterchild · 2022-12-04T15:24:46+00:00

Obsessing over getting women to let you use their bodies is giving away your power, nobody is taking it from you. You are responsible for getting yourself off, if you can't coerce someone into doing it with you then yes you should find a way to masterbate that is the most fulfilling.

Bekiala · 2022-12-04T14:58:54+00:00

So many men seem to suffer with high libidos and no partners that I wish there was a medication that deliberately lowered the male libido.

BittererWegwerf · 2022-12-04T13:19:35+00:00

There is no solution that wouldn't require a severe restriction of freedom for one or both sexes. Cats out of the bag. Its a free market now and some people just don't make the cut.

Gravel_Roads · 2022-12-04T13:00:25+00:00

I don't want to attack OP specifically because I don't hate someone just bringing up the topic - it's worth hashing out what people think.

It gives me the chance to say it clearly:

If you want women to like you, you have to be someone that's likeable. Be someone that your friends are eager to introduce to people. Be someone that everyone knows is fun to be around and makes everyone feel good. Build a reputation for being dependable and laid back.

Women as a gender aren't running around "manipulating men" for sex and profit. They're humans. Humans are social animals. They like being liked, and they like being around people they like.

Be someone people like.

Financial_Leave4411 · 2022-12-04T13:12:39+00:00

If you are considering sex a need for men then you need to see safety/security found through commitment/marriage as a need for women. Thus men can always meet women’s need by marrying them and in turn get their need for sex met at the same time. I see a lot of men on PPD focus so much on trying to get sex without giving women what they want in return. This solution is so simple. Both sides can get what they want this way.

medlabunicorn · 2022-12-04T18:28:33+00:00

1)no slut shaming or devaluation of women who have sex.

2)equal burden on men to be responsible for birth control.

3)100% effective birth control that can be purchased over the counter with zero stigma

4)no STIs

5)Abortion in cases of health issues (since there would be no unwanted pregnancies, due to the 100% effective and accessible birth control) inexpensive, painless, and easily accessible

6)comprehensive, non-blamey sex Ed for all teens, starting with basic anatomy in grade school and progressing in an age-appropriate manner from there.

2022-12-04T14:06:19+00:00

There is none in a sex/dating free for all. Straight Men have less sex than they'd like to have and Straight Women have more sex than they'd like to have. When the limiting factors (mainly the other sex) to each sexes imperatives are removed you see a pattern.

Gay Men have more sex than Straight Men. Gay Women have less sex than Straight Women (though more orgasms)

Psychologist Roy Baumeister has some interesting things to say on this. At the end of the day Men and Women will all be dissatisfied to some degree on average. On an individual level some can you their own leverage for their needs which may or may not come at a cost to their partner.

Classic example is a Woman fucking her Husband when she doesn't really want to because it keeps him happy and he has a higher sex drive. Or a Husband doing more and more to keep his wife happy who increasingly wants sex less, a la dead bedrooms

PMmeareasontolive · 2022-12-04T17:04:51+00:00

Men have to stop needing women more than women need men.

gymbro718nyc2 · 2022-12-04T15:06:02+00:00

There is no real imbalance to speak of. What you perceive as imbalance is really a collection of things. One is men believing they are no good, which forces them to see everyone else and especially women as better than they are. Mens low self esteem is the cause of pedestalization. It's all on your own heads.

The other issue is neediness. When a man has too much time on his hands, he gets needy and he tends to look to women to solve his neediness problem, when he should be looking at all his other relationships first. Most guys on PPD tend to self isolate and hang out in the nursery, playing video games and numbing themselves with porn and weed instead of getting their needs fulfilled in the real world.

The last one is the "othering" of women. When men perceive women as the other, as the enemy, they inadvertently give women way too much power. It seems that the average man on PPD believes any woman has the power to snap her fingers and have 5 Chads fighting for her attention and that her ability to get cock on demand somehow solves all her problems. You idealize and demonize women way too much when you should just see that they are normal often fucked up human beings who are looking for validation and love just like you.

Early-Christmas-4742 · 2022-12-04T13:04:39+00:00

Chemical castration. Other than that, just out in the effort to find a relationship

Lift_and_Lurk · 2022-12-04T12:19:33+00:00

Well if it’s not a need like food water and housing maybe we should focus on the Greater needs first. I mean it’s not like we solved hunger or homelessness did we?

purplish_possum · 2022-12-04T14:33:15+00:00

Take a biology class. Males compete for access to females. Successful males get to mate. Unsuccessful ones become genetic dead ends.

No need to fix anything. The system is working.

John_Oakman · 2022-12-04T16:06:21+00:00

Have alternate sources of social validation... but that would also shore up the establishment, and most people here hate that with a passion.

2022-12-04T11:45:26+00:00

Let say i assume that sex is a kind of need

Then your assumption is wrong in the first place.

Or there is a inequality in power that female can exploit the sex to manipulate male or gain benefit.

Then don't let females exploit the sex to manipulate male or gain benefit. Simple logic.

Then is there anything we can do?

Yup, stop treating sex as a need and focus on other stuffs of life. There are a lot of men in this world who are enjoying their lives without any women. For example, ask some dudes in the groups of MGTOW, a lot of them have completely given up on sex. They focus on living their lives by pursuing other hobbies.

I think nearly the only possible solution is to invest on sex toy, virtual porngraphy so that male in general can be liberated from sex motivation and its disadvantage

This can work. We are seeing the downfall of society anyways. We are depending on robots and automations more than ever, societal interactions are close to zero thanks to social medias. Ultimately we are avoiding the inevitable, i.e decreasing our co-dependency with other people, so sure sex toys and porn is one of the solutions.

Exciting_Phase_1665 · 2022-12-04T16:36:33+00:00

stop raising people according to a rigid gender binary
build pedestrian friendly infrastructure & more community spaces
invest in mental health resources for all

Fancy-Respect8729 · 2022-12-04T11:28:48+00:00

Yes, don't have sex. Become celibate or turn to God.

abaxeron · 2022-12-04T13:43:43+00:00

Then is there anything we can do?

We have. Actually, it's now ticking clock until the solution will unravel and go into full effect.

There are sex selection techniques available to humans involving sperm sorting and embryo sorting before IVF.

This is not me advocating eugenics; this is not sex-selective abortion; this is something that has been available for almost 40 years now off the shelf to any woman who decides to conceive from her partner or from a donor.

The more women believe that "males are icky", and the more they'll opt out of raising kids in an intact household, the more of them will go to reproductive clinics and request sex selection for girls.

Cult_of_Chad · 2022-12-04T14:55:42+00:00

Virtual reality porn
Sex bots
Polyamory

I guess we could also bring back fertility cults like in the old days where temple priestesses and catamites would bless supplicants through sex. Imagine how faithful men would be if Sunday service came with complimentary BJs.

Murkwilect · 2022-12-04T17:35:36+00:00

Women only have sexual power over men that can't get pussy. The ultimate equalizer is a man who can get other girls, i.e. the top 20% of men.

DryOutcome3407 · 2022-12-04T12:21:56+00:00

None, women control sex, men control commitment.

You in reality just need to leave your country and search for any society that still value the average male commitment

guywithaccount · 2022-12-06T21:25:05+00:00

Historically, men had all the hard labor jobs, all the dangerous jobs, they did the hunting, scouting, shipping, etc. All that. We also provided security, we were soldiers for armies in times of invasion. We did all the building, maintaining, etc.

So women live in a world that has been almost entirely built and provided to them by men. We've reached a point where a lot of that work doesn't need to be done anymore, or is mostly done by machines, depending. Police provide security, standing armies keep invaders away. And now that they have a society that can kinda sorta run without men's contributions, and they can get their own jobs in admin/management/service/etc and support themselves as well as many men, they figure they don't actually owe us anything, or need us for anything. Which leaves them free to pursue only the men they want, i.e. those who provide something they can't get otherwise, that being looks or money.

It's no wonder men feel abandoned and directionless. Suddenly they're just not needed anymore. Some women spin this as men losing their privilege but it's not as though women served men just to do it, they were always getting something out of the deal. Unfortunately, dudes are just way more horny than women, that's been true throughout history, it's not going to stop, and men who can't get laid tend to get weird. So it is an actual problem, because even if you're not one of these dudes, you have to share a world with them. And women who are actually trying to date tend to run into a solid wall of fuckboys because there's so much thirst out there.

Yeah, it does turn out that women are actually people, and some of them want sex with ordinary guys, they want companionship, or they fall in love - so all sorts of guys still have a chance. But even though that's true, the playing field just looks completely different from their side and therefore so does their behavior.

I personally think America is heading toward collapse, and when it starts to affect a lot of ordinary people hard, we'll revert to more traditional gender roles again, with men facing all the danger and doing all the hard work and women sidling up to them for support and protection. But we aren't there yet and it may not actually happen for a while (the people in power have an incentive to prevent collapse that conflicts with their desire to bleed the whole world dry).

But for now, the best thing I can think to do is legalize and legitimize prostitution. It's "the world's oldest profession" for a reason. Men who just want sex or affectionate touch will at least be able to get it without putting themselves through the meat grinder of modern dating, and not potentially face some kind of punishment for it. It does create a problem for poor men who can't afford it (and there's the whole "if women would rather sell pussy than work at Target, isn't that sex slavery?" argument) but class struggle is an entirely other issue. Hell, maybe women would even find it easier to have male friends if men didn't depend so heavily on them for sex and affection.

While we're at it, maybe we need to de-emphasize monogamy. We don't have nobility, women are making their own money, inheritance is bullshit anyway... why do we still have an institution where men are tied to a single woman and stuck with them forever, or until divorce, regardless of whether the sex or relationship is still good? Yes there are unique aspects of a strong two-person bond but that's the ideal case, when a couple isn't working anymore then it doesn't benefit a man to stick around instead of moving on.

welcometothejl · 2022-12-04T13:45:27+00:00

Stop alimony. Make child support dependant on whether or not there is equal custody. Hire based on qualifications. Legalize prostitution.

Why will this balance out bargaining power? Because it will mean that men can more easily acquire sex, thus bringing down their demand. It also means women will have a harder time acquiring resources, due to less hand outs.

NinjaOfTheSouth · 2022-12-04T13:48:31+00:00

I’m thinking the sex robots. It’s basically like women having birth control. Men get to have their fun and women will be left alone in the process.

syndactylity · 2022-12-04T17:13:04+00:00

Money

I mean, what else are you going to use? Force? Nagging? Begging? Extortion?

mumblebumblegrumble · 2022-12-04T18:39:54+00:00

The inference that women have to much control over who gets to have sex with them just don't sit right with me.

aintnufincleverhere · 2022-12-04T18:55:58+00:00

I would discourage "bargaining" for sex.

2022-12-04T21:25:25+00:00

You’re assuming this is a problem that needs solving.

Sometimes we don’t get what we want. Tant pis, man.

medlabunicorn · 2022-12-05T02:33:23+00:00

Kind of disappointed how many men here are ok with coercion, economic or otherwise, and how may men think that single women aren’t financially just fine.

PuertoRock007 · 2022-12-04T11:51:50+00:00

We need to take away all the government help women get (real equality). Then they will value men again and things will be more equal because the government is not helping men increase their SMV.

MarjieJ98354 · 2022-12-04T17:00:40+00:00

Maybe they can pose a BACHELOR TAX on men that DON'T KNOW HOW TO GET SEX. Then the government can give you a virtual sex toy yearly. Or maybe the government can be a pimp and provide you bachelor taxed hoes! Ultimately, you can always move the a 3RD WORLD COUNTRY; and I'm being politically incorrect tp prove a point. Lots of sex slavery going on in those nations.

HolyPenguine · 2022-12-04T17:15:58+00:00

I don't necessarily endorse these but:

Easier migration programs for women to come to Western countries
Reduced taxation generally (so men keep more money and women receive less)
Various policies to make marriage more financially appealing to men
Social campaigns to promote marriage
Stop spending money on feminist campaigns
Legalize prostitution

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AndrewPotato34 · 2022-12-04T16:10:32+00:00

Be tall and have an attractive face -> or lose most of the time with women

IcarusKiki · 2022-12-04T19:40:22+00:00

Neuter men i guess

Indrigotheir · 2022-12-04T20:03:15+00:00

The male partner would need to have an equitable power advantage in another area which serves to equate the relationship. This is probably why typically men make more money in a relationship.

It doesn't have to be money, though. It just needs to be something the woman wants. Stability, maturity, competence, etc.

General_High_Ground · 2022-12-04T21:02:47+00:00

AI Sexbots.

throwaway164_3 · 2022-12-04T23:59:48+00:00

Life weights, learn to agree and amplify, and have dates where alcohol is involved.

Don’t be nice, be a little dominant/arrogant, pushy and escalate asap towards sex.

FlyV89 · 2022-12-05T00:26:25+00:00

You'll have to swallow your pride.

Women don't like you, that doesn't mean you can't spend the rest of your life working for her.

And ocassionally have sex.

If not, you can live a happy life working for yourself and let her get rocked off by a dude she actually finds attractive.

She's going to have sex with good looking men, wether you like it or not, and she won't find you attractive, and you can accept that and move on or spend the rest of your life making a fuss about it. Women have the right to fuck whoever they want for free, and you have the right to find yourself the best deal possible.

As a man who's dating casually several women (and who doesn't feel bad about it) I'll give you the advice I give to all my buds IRL who struggle with dating.

Don't put too much too much worth on the way women percieve you.

And don't get married.

If you're not getting fucked by at least a few women without the need of being in a relationship, that means you just don't have it.

Getting married to have sex is THE WORST thing you can do to yourself. She's not going to turn suddenly into a pornstar for you just because you swore her everlasting love.

You're just "not going to get fucked" by a woman you'll be with 24/7, and that sucks.

It's better to be friendzoned. No kidding, at least you can enjoy different friendships that will bring you different experiences to your life, instead of having the same conversation over and over and arguing all the time with the same cunt without a way out that doesn't screw you up economically.

I've seen lots of ugly men get married and dude they are like zombies.

Don't do that.

And no, she's not going to "grow into you". I get the "pasion" part, and how much us men need it (source: I'm a guy) but if you're not getting this "pasion" stuff, this lust, in your first interactions, it's just because you just don't have it.

She's just going to be more familiar with you, she can grow to get "used to you", get used to you being around her, and she may like your personality may be, but she's not going to think you're the most beautiful man on Earth because you're good to her.

And I know lots of women will say "hey when I saw my now husband for the first time I thought he was ugly but then he was loving and caring towards me and now he's Chris Hemsworth" haha well, who in the world could be so mean to speak bad on their partner I mean?

It's like when women ask men if some dress make them look fat. Yeah, you're fat but what am I supposed to say?

In the same vein, if you ask a woman if she finds her husband sexy, you'll likely say she does.

This remembers me when we were kids and mom told my brothers and I we were the most good looking kids in the entire school and dad would say "yeah your mother is nuts, your friend Carlitos is going to get all the girls for the prom dance" hahahaa.

Like I said, don't get married.

Save money, buy a bike and hit the highway. BEST THING EVER I promise you. It's amazing dude.

You put gas on her and she'll let you ride her until she's dead. Rince and repeat. Bikes are the most amazing company. And yeah, women love bikes too, just in case.

Other than that, you should think about it this way.

You're a man, an individual, you don't need anyone to be happy.

The same way, women are individuals. Every individual comes to this place as an individual, and goes away as an individual.

No woman belongs to you, and you don't belong to any woman.

Stop thinking about women as sexual and romantic partners, and think about them as just another human being.

Stop feeling jealous or envious of men who get what you don't have, and think they have their own sets of problems and issues to solve.

Stop envy couples, not all that shines is gold. Lots of relationships out there looking good on social media but are screwed up behind closed doors. Lots of guys dating ok looking girls and may be you're thinking "oh he landed a relationship and it's getting sex daily" hahaha dude I SWEAR those guys are not getting it as much as you think, they are probably wanking to porn too, the only difference between you and them it's that you do it whenever you like it and they have to do it when their girlfriends are out.

And stop meassuring your worth as a man from the amount of women who like you.

Seriously, as a dude who is liked by several women, the things they like me for are not that intresting. Muscles, eight, nice outfits and extrovertion don't really add that much to my life besides sex, and even when I get sex I can't stand some girls personalities for that much.

My boss is ugly, old, he's single and childless, and he owns a yatch. I want to be that dude so bad sometimes hahaha.

Focus on important things that will make your life better, and I'll give you a clue: women ain't one of those.

If they were good for you, you would already be happy in your interactions with them, and they would be bringing to your life the things you need.

You're not. Hence women ain't no good for your life.

Stop paying them attention and thinking about how many dicks they are sucking. You're obsessing too much over something that is irrelevant to you.

Yes, they are sucking dicks. It's not your dick. Then why do you care that much?

medlabunicorn · 2022-12-05T02:00:36+00:00

Re-establish a celibate priesthood as a socially acceptable alternative.

EasternToe3824 · 2022-12-05T22:16:09+00:00

There is nothing men can do. In a natural environment most males of a species do not reproduce.

Title	What is the possible solutions for imbalance bargining power for sex?
Author	yuendeming1994
Upvotes	16
Comments	164
Date	December 4, 2022 10:57 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/zc6u1o/what_is_the_possible_solutions_for_imbalance/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-is-the-possible-solutions-for-imbalance.1142991 https://theredarchive.com/post/1142991

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