What is your worst trait when it comes to sexual/relationship success?

GridReXX · 2016-06-14T19:16:41+00:00

Laziness.

I take that back or rather let me explain.

I'm a fake extrovert.

Basically I'm an introvert who knows how to and even enjoys socializing.

My issue is that for me to be mentally balanced, I need plenty of time to myself; without the demands/ anxieties of others. I call it "time to decompress."

As you can imagine, this can be not so great in a romantic relationship (or even a platonic friendship). And downright disastrous if I'm in a relationship with an extrovert or needy person.

TW_CountryMusic · 2016-06-14T19:34:08+00:00

As far as "getting" sex/relationships, it would be my social anxiety. Even when I was approached I either didn't recognize it as sexual interest, was suspicious of their motives, or freaked out and sabotaged the whole thing by being a fucking weirdo. Also the fact that I didn't learn "how to girl" (dress, do my hair, wear makeup etc.) until college didn't help. Men can say they don't care about this stuff until they're blue in the face, but they do.

Once I'm in a relationship my biggest challenge is my tendency to be passive-aggressive and indirect with communication. I have to fight it constantly.

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2016-06-14T19:52:30+00:00

When I was young my big problem was liking guys too intensely too soon, mostly guys out of my league. Luckily I'm man-worshipping, low maintenance, dented can friendly and can be had for some hugs, kisses, I love yous and feats of strength

lady_baker · 2016-06-14T20:36:04+00:00

I was always really open, really sincere and was looking for forever from the first boy I kissed. I fell in love too easily. You know the TRP archetype of the virgin/low N count girl who bonds readily? ME.

ppdthrowawai · 2016-06-14T19:24:08+00:00

For me? Probably height. I'm a few inches shorter than average. Although it has helped lead me to other avenues in life that have made me very successful, it would probably be my biggest detractors in attractiveness

MissMaude · 2016-06-14T21:28:11+00:00

I'm clingy and I cry a lot. Also, I tend to be overly complementary. My husband jokes that, at first, I made him feel too good about himself so he broke up with me to spread his awesomeness around. He then realized his mistake and we got back together.

demerera · 2016-06-14T19:08:39+00:00

Not caring enough about the guy. I can pretty much always take them or leave them, and I know we'll both get over it if we never see each other again. Guess its a type of apathy, but it leads to never working through problems and issues in relationships: instead its all too easy to just call it a day at the first argument.

citrusdrink76 · 2016-06-14T22:29:14+00:00

I can't say for sure but I'd say my lack of success is probably mostly due to my extreme physical hideousness.

shoup88 · 2016-06-14T20:59:34+00:00

Probably alcohol abuse - it definitely held me back from fully committing to my partner, and him to me. I stopped drinking eight months ago though, and things are much better.

That was a barrier to relationship success, but if I was looking for casual sex I think it actually would have helped.

LifterofThings · 2016-06-14T19:03:20+00:00

I'm basically a bro in a woman body. =\

I cuss too much, make inappropriate jokes, and enjoy giving (and taking!) a good razzing. It's allowed me to maintain friendships with men but it's definitely been a dating turn-off.

Garnet_Ring · 2016-06-14T20:22:39+00:00

My disappointment in my career path, and that I never finished college. It makes me feel inadequate, but even worse is that I worry that the other person might assume I need them and will ride their coattail.

bornredd · 2016-06-14T19:33:40+00:00

My desire for validation from those that I love.

Edit: for meeting new people? Definitely my paranoia. I'm a heavy pot smoker and work in a very professional environment. While I don't work on any projects that it would disqualify me for, it still makes me very uncomfortable to discuss it outside of a small number of trusted friends - unfortunately it is my favorite intoxicant by far.

prometheangambit · 2016-06-14T21:20:54+00:00

As a male, I'm too passive as opposed to aggressive.

I simply do not approach women and do not believe physical attraction serves as a valid reason for me to do so. I don't escalate because sex genuinely isn't on my mind. Just no sexual tension.

I can also go on very long dry spells and it doesn't bother me.

ProbablyBelievesIt · 2016-06-15T00:14:30+00:00

Not the entire list, but these are the ones that probably get me into the most trouble:

Ridiculous guilt.
A crippling fear of success.
If everyone else ran screaming in the opposite direction, I need to know why.
The words "I love you." are a bullet to the head, that takes out my better judgement.

Princeso_Bubblegum · 2016-06-15T05:10:40+00:00

I'm a fucking weirdo. Often times I appear 'interesting' at a surface level, but once people get to know me, they realize just how off I am from the norm. It takes a special kind of person to deal with my weirdness to have an actual relationship.

hentaipolice · 2016-06-15T06:31:31+00:00

Probably being myself.

ozymandias271 · 2016-06-14T19:25:34+00:00

Mental illness. Mostly agoraphobia, actually: meeting new people involves going outside, which is the worst thing.

philomexa · 2016-06-14T19:35:06+00:00

Never really had any issues with dating, but if I had to guess, putting my pussy on lockdown until I feel like there's a solid LTR. To paranoid about getting knocked up and left high and dry, so the dude has to pretty much be marriage material for me to put out.

It is my understanding that this standard is frowned upon in modern hook up culture. So if I were single, I'd probably be single for a while.

Wolfsouls · 2016-06-14T19:38:20+00:00

I'm needy/clingy, lazy, socially anxious, I fall for people and put out too easily/quickly. Any one of these things could scare a potential mate away :c

hullmarch · 2016-06-14T20:53:19+00:00

Probably my intense introversion. That is the kicker since it's what results in me physically avoiding any possibility of meeting potential relationship material.

RedXanaxBars · 2016-06-14T21:19:48+00:00

I'm socially awkward (when I'm sober anyway) and I almost exclusively attract batshit insane girls. The former doesn't hinder me as much as you'd think because meeting girls online is easy, but the latter makes relationships... interesting.

mojo_magnifico · 2016-06-14T21:32:35+00:00

I have squirrely/fidgety/nervous body language. Don't know how to fix, or what to do with my arms when talking. I have long skinny limbs even though I lift. Putting my hands on my waist seems so 'wannabe alpha', and hands in my pocket looks beta

c_in_macn · 2016-06-14T22:49:41+00:00

Not caring enough about people. I'm the opposite of clingy to the point where people just don't think I'm interested. And I've gained more options as I've aged into my late 20's so I've never really seen the need to be obsessed with one person.

xorchids · 2016-06-15T01:11:52+00:00

I desire to be in relationships, not anything in between. I tend to go after people who aren't interested in a relationship, and shun away everyone that shows initial interest in me because I never like them back.

I have to come to you. And it's not like I choose people out of my league, I don't know what it is. It makes me very sad sometimes, especially since I only tend to like one person each year.

cxj · 2016-06-15T03:50:37+00:00

I'm really socially abrasive and lack a filter. Some girls interpret this as alpha. Lots more hate me for it. I get very easily frustrated with sensitive people and even when I'm trying to be sensitive or pc, it's incredibly obvious I don't give a fuck at all and am horrendously annoyed by having to be this way. When people act passive aggressively, I often respond by being aggressive aggressive. I tend to escalate situations rather than let them go, unless the other aggressor is a gang member or combat veteran.

[deleted] · 2016-06-15T05:56:59+00:00

I'm inexperienced, I have pretty unique views on drugs/alcohol, diet, politics, and religion, I want to work part time and stay at home and homeschool my future kids for the first few years of education, and I am very shy. All of these make me a red flag to 99.9% of men out there. The good news is that I only need 1 man. So when I find him, I'll try to grab him.

GuitarsAreGettingOld · 2016-06-15T07:25:35+00:00

Bad health.

When that wasn't a problem it was romantic delusions. Hands down.

Wowbaggerrr · 2016-06-14T19:52:41+00:00

Back when I was dating, my super-competitiveness screwed me over quite a bit. I got a ton of guys because I could hang with them physically, but over a long period of time, I was too intense. And very unforgiving of their weaknesses. If I asked a guy on a mountain-climbing date and he fell apart halfway up, I wasn't super cool about it.

HigHog · 2016-06-14T19:11:57+00:00

I don't really know as I've never had any issues with dating. I guess I could be described as "high maintenance" - I'm quite demanding of attention and like getting my own way.

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AdamAJ · 2016-06-14T22:21:13+00:00

Sex hasn't been a problem for several years. Relationships, though... really earning my trust is akin to completing the twelve labours of Hercules.

Our mutual friends pranked me raising a flag with her favourite emblem over my house the day she finally managed to breach the perimeter. They should have built a Triumphal Arc, really.

stats135 · 2016-06-14T22:44:00+00:00

I'm not going to speculate why I got the idea. It could be from feminist/cultural brainwashing, Disney lies, or that I was just plain old retarded, but I had this idea that relationships and sex was basically interlinked. This cause me to have a big problem where I keep looking for relationships when all I really need is sex. It shouldn't come as a surprise that when you are looking for a relationship, all you are going to end up getting is just that, a relationship. But somehow, for the longest time, that fact just never sank in. I just got myself a relationship and expect that sex just happens. Of course, I learned the hard way that that's not how the world works.

This is why I subscribe to TRP and watch porn. I don't actually like them, but they allow me to keep focus on what's important when it comes to women, sex. In the past (and to a slightly lesser extent even now) I would think about how a date went, of what she likes, or if something went wrong. It stress me out for no reason and that is when I would skim over some RP. To remind myself that none or that matters. What I should be asking myself is "how does this affect my sex prospects". I do this in other aspects of my life as well. I keep my bank icon on the top of my phone so that I'll see it every time I look at my phone. It reminds me to not stress out when I piss of a client or mess up an account. It's no skin of my back. It's not like you go to work for fun, as long as you get that paycheck in your bank account, the rest simply don't matter.

Monkey_Jerk · 2016-06-15T01:35:02+00:00

Social anxiety along with introversion.

squidracer · 2016-06-15T02:35:12+00:00

I suffer from apathy..

Meeting women is easy when I make the effort to go out.. Heck, sometimes I just have to simply go out and one will approach me..

Rather be fishing or chatting with the neighbors tho

meh613 · 2016-06-15T05:02:02+00:00

Probably my routine of going from home to work to wine bar to home and starting again the next day. I don't meet anyone new.

Dietyz · 2016-06-15T09:51:40+00:00

Keeping my promises/doing things that I don't want to do

If you knew me for long enough you would eventually realize that if I say "maybe" it almost always means no

I also have trouble maintaining long term friendships, I move through people somewhat often and feel like im terrible at "reigniting old relationships", not sure why but it always feels weird and awkward trying to recreate an old bond. So some people become like internet friends who I pay attention to on social media but have no interest in spending time with even though I really liked them in the past

The only friends I really maintained for a really long time are a few guys whose lives haven't changed, they aren't married and do the same shit they did 5 years ago so they still feel familiar. Other people have changed dramatically and have too many responsibilities, I feel like we cant connect like we used to. So I just pick up new friends(who are convienient to my life) as often as I can

I guess that's normal, but it still feels like others have an easier time with it than I, or atleast they make an attempt and I gave up on that

DrunkGirl69 · 2016-06-15T13:29:28+00:00

Social anxiety and fear of commitment

crankypants15 · 2016-06-17T14:06:02+00:00

I like aggressive women. But that doesn't mean I'm a submissive. Too many people assume I'm a sub. I'm not. I just like to know where the woman is at and what she's ready for. It's just another mode of "clear communication" for me.

wordjedi · 2016-06-15T03:03:02+00:00

When I was younger I used to pedestal skinny girls so bad...

I'm not kidding, < 130 lb and I would get nervous around them and be Captain Tryhard. Then the same women a couple of years later when they filled out to a chunky US average, I would totally relax and not care anymore.

impossibleworlds · 2016-06-15T17:04:01+00:00

Currently it's that I don't leave my lair with sufficient frequency or go to the right places when I do. When I do get out there in the right environment around friendly people who I can flirt with and entertain with my antics, especially if there's refreshments nearby, I have minimal problems meeting a guy I'm interested in. I just haven't been in the right mood lately as life has been hitting me hard.

Working on that. :)

Title	What is your worst trait when it comes to sexual/relationship success?
Author	yo_radical_one
Upvotes	8
Comments	140
Date	June 14, 2016 5:04 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/4o2fcc/what_is_your_worst_trait_when_it_comes_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-is-your-worst-trait-when-it-comes-to.274331 https://theredarchive.com/post/274331

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