Real quick backgrounder: I work for a major telecom in Canada and we do lots of project-based work. I've been there for a little over a year but have been slowly growing my own business on the side, which brings in enough income to live on but I prefer to reinvest all the profits back into the business at this point.

So here's the story: Management puts together a team to study customer churn and come up with some solutions for the retention teams across the country. They assign me and seven others; four guys, three girls. Everyone is pretty cool on this team except for one raging tumblrina.

This girl is the epitomy of tumblr. I swear I've seen memes with her in them. She weighs at least three hundred pounds, probably more and she is fucking smells like it too. I'm talking the constant reek of b.o. from all the rotting food stuck in the rolls of her fat. She has pink died hair and the ugliest mug I've ever seen. This girl is so hideous that I can't even make eye contact with her. She literally triggers me, ironically enough.

If her looks aren't enough to disgust, her personality is..I can't even describe it (and I'm a writer and former ESL teacher). She is ALWAYS going on about how she has "fibrelylosous" (fiberosis? fibersnuffalafuggus? I don't fucking know). Some weird condition that affects..something. If it's too cold in the building for her then it is making her fiber-whatever flare up. If it's too warm then it's making it flare up. If she doesn't get the comfiest seat in the conference room then it conveniently flares up.

She colors in a fucking children's coloring book. She has a box of Crayola pencil crayons and sits there coloring during meetings. She doesn't even draw the pictures herself; she just colors in the lines like a five year old. One time we were discussing how we can position the iPhone 6s and 6s Plus as a retention offer despite the very high price tag of these devices, and she just interrupted the meeting and held up a picture of a horse that she had colored in eight different colors and screeched out "Look at my horse!"

The worst part is that she's always going on about her "fiance". Apparently there's a guy out there so fucking thirsty that he put his hot dog into this hungry hippo and now they're getting married. She uses any chance at all to bring up her "fiance".

So we're sitting in a management meeting and a dude from one of the executive levels is talking to us. One guy on our team, who I'll call M, is texting on his phone, with the phone low down under the table so the execs can't see it. M is cool, and I suspect is even RP. Sometimes you can just tell, but sometimes I'm off. Who knows.

Anyways, after the meeting the hungry smelly hippo approaches our team leader and rats M out for texting. Our team lead pulls M aside and says "Hungry Hippo told me you were texting. Just don't do that while the execs are leading a meeting with us".

M leaves our manager's office and goes right to Hungry Hippo. "You ratted me out? Are we in fucking pre-school here?" he says to her. Everyone heard him. That's all he said.

So Hungry Hippo marches into the EXECS OFFICE and tells him the story, and that M "Verbally and emotionally assaulted" her. M gets fired on the spot!

Now the rest of the team is fucking unhappy working with her. There's an empty seat at meetings where M used to sit. We've all started sitting away from the Hippo so she's isolated, and she knows it. So she goes back to the EXEC and gets one of my buddies, a black guy named C who I KNOW is RP (we're both on this sub...if you're reading, you know who this is) fired for "making her uncomfortable and oggling her in a sexually suggestive way".

By the end of this week, she's had three of us four guys canned, with only me left. I don't actually know what the other charges were but I can guarantee they were trumped up. Even the other two women on our team, who are pretty cool, are sick of this retard.

Today, right before I went home, my manager pulled me into his office and said "We've had a complaint from Hungry Hippo about you. She claims that you are ignoring her and won't look at her or sit near her and that makes this an uncomfortable workplace for her." I should have started laughing but I was tired of this bullshit. I just looked at him. "Really?" I asked, almost rolling my eyes. Then I asked "Am I being purged?" He said I wasn't. I left his office and went home.

Now I'm thinking of simply going in and resigning. Like I said, I can live off my own business. It will mean I can't grow it as aggressively as I like but I'm out of the bootstrap phase now and this tumlrtard has poisoned the workplace for me.

That's my story.