I’m fucking devastated guys

Heel194 · 2020-08-29T01:56:35+00:00

She said “Nice” to you telling her when you’re free, that sounds like a no to me rather than a yes. Also definitely do not text her “whenever you’re free hmu” as this directly tells her you have nothing better to do than to wait around for her. It really doesn’t matter though because she is not interested in you.

rhofire · 2020-08-29T01:41:55+00:00

We texted a few messages, nothing boring.

You need to learn to call these girls. It's the easiest way to figure out what's up.

Also, it seems you didn't specifically say where an how you're going to meet.

Then, you're too hard on yourself.

In practice, you should go out more rather than relying on dating apps.

SteveSan82 · 2020-08-29T04:50:16+00:00

LOL 😂 nothing shocking here. Just Instagram hoes being hoes

gracienoob · 2020-08-29T01:45:27+00:00

Hey, I can't get a date either cause I'm scared to approach. Would you be interested in holding each other accountable and possibly have a friendly competition to see who can get a date first?

Also 22

-ThePathIsTheGoal- · 2020-08-29T06:39:08+00:00

This is insanely overdramatic.

Devastated? Really? Over a pudding head tinder thot you’ve never met before?

Listen man. It sounds like you’ve done a ton of reading, which is great, but it doesn’t seem as though any of it has “clicked”. No switch has been flipped yet. You know the material conceptually, yet it’s not internalized. It is not you, and you are not it.

“How can I have an abundance mindset when I can’t even get a date?”

This pretty much tells me all I need to know. Abundance is not about women, it’s not about dates. You need to genuinely let go. This is the ultimate paradox in life. Once you truly, genuinely let go of your desire for dates, for sex with women, for a certain n count, for upping your status and all of the other external, superficial bullshit, that’s when it starts to come to you.

To be consciously aware and keeping track of each individual text, and the time, and the context shows that you’re already too attached and dependent on an outcome. Women can smell this, and have a subconscious aversion to it. (To give an example of this outside of the dating world, customers have an aversion and usually do not buy a sales pitch from a salesman who comes off as needy and desperate to make a sale.)

I suggest taking time off from tinder, maybe a week, maybe a month, and do some serious introspection either by reading up on philosophy, writing, or intensive meditation. Right now you’re way too caught up in meeting these silly expectations.

You will be just fine.

madfox99 · 2020-08-29T03:47:09+00:00

Dude. Women are really flaky. You didn't do anything overly wrong.

Key here is to keep texting her. But put zero effort in. Use short text language now. Take forever to respond to her texts. Treat her like you got six just like her.

Dating life for men in their early 20s is hard unless you are an athlete. Key here is to develop the skills to deal with women when you enter your prime.

Unfortunately, women in this age bracket are in their sexual marketplace peak value. You are basically at your lowest. Focus on building your own value. Get a career going. Get body in tip top form. Things will turn dramatically for you in a few years. You'll command what you want on the market if you are on your purpose now.

krayono · 2020-08-29T04:41:12+00:00

Just next her. What happened to abundance mentality?

alt323g0 · 2020-08-29T05:30:34+00:00

You're trying to be too cool on tinder. Just have some fucking common sense.

1) Don't pick her up in your car on your first date. Just dont. It's tinder, she doesn't fucking know you it's weird. That's why this happened.

2) Don't be planning shit the day of. When you lock down plans, it should be PLACE, DAY, TIME, DONE. Why the fuck are you texting her with like an hour to go to figure out how the date is happening? That's incredibly tedious, and if theres anything that turns girls off, it's tedium.

3) A lot of guys fuck up tinder because they ask for the date too soon or too late. There's no magic formula. If you hardly talked about anything yet, IT'S TOO SOON. If you already made a few jokes and found something you have in common, IT'S TIME. If you are past that and now search for topics or starting and stopping multiple conversations, IT'S TOO LATE. Just have common sense

4) Don't initiate text after plans are made. If she initiates, send a few chill responses, but don't engage in long conversations. If you already have plans, then any texts initiated by you show that you're afraid of getting stood up, which becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.

5) Who the hell told you to text for emotions, not logic? It should be the exact. Goddam. Opposite. Look, send your opener. If she responds, make a couple other chill messages and find something you have in common. Then logistics only. Again, common sense...

These are your problems. Plenty of people do fine on tinder. It's something you're doing. Quit trying to be a "playa" and just be a normal fucking dude.

SpicyYeetJuice · 2020-08-29T03:33:40+00:00

Look man I need you to go to the fridge grab an ice cold fucking brew crack it open and relax.

I been there man, It’s a shitty place to be you’re doing and saying the right things but it’s not fucking working out. Here’s your two main problems 1. You’re so fucking needy there’s a black hole sucking people away from you. Fix: get a job if you don’t already have one one that you like use the rest of your spare time for hobbies if you don’t have any hobbies try out a bunch of shit to do. But don’t come on Reddit bitching about your situation or reading up on forms. The source of your neediness is that you don’t value your time if you spend your time doing things you like you will value your time.

You’re way too pushy and gamey Fix: realize that these online girls are not real until you meet them treat them as such. Take some time off of Reddit and game information entirely it will do some good

neoda1 · 2020-08-29T04:45:21+00:00

22 years old??? Bruhh you got a lot of time to go just focus on you

Aspanu24 · 2020-08-29T04:09:11+00:00

Just next her. Fuck it.. next

huey764 · 2020-08-29T04:51:42+00:00

Read that post by that Asian dude who did like TWO THOUSAND fucking approaches. You gotta be a persistent son of a bitch!

mrsmiley831 · 2020-08-29T02:27:29+00:00

Asking her if she would like to meet up somewhere or if you should pick her up was the wrong move. You're the man, she follows your lead. Now I'm not saying this is the reason she flaked, but it might be a part of the equation. Without more context, I can only assume she had low interest.

7K60FXD · 2020-08-29T05:31:36+00:00

Dude it’s not you. Feminism and online communication has empowered and watered down women to allow them to play games without consequence and not care. Your in the same boat as the rest of us. Even the best looking guys are getting stood up and ghosted. We are living in the wrong generation

scissor_me_timbers00 · 2020-08-29T08:02:56+00:00

Listen man, you’re getting all bent out of shape because women are acting like children. You have to understand these women have no sense of social honor, no societal standards keeping them honest, feel entitled to just follow their whims, etc etc. And you’re here trying to pin them down and getting distraught when they flake with some shit like “oh haha what? Our date?”. Flaking is in the nature of women dude, especially now when society tells them they can do whatever the fuck they want. It’s completely retarded. They also like to string along multiple guys not out of genuine interest but just to feel pursued and boost their ego. Or at least multiple options open for each week, and then just follow their whim in any given moment, and say fuck all to the rest, as if there was no plan in place. You being the guy to responsibly make “plans” and try to hold them to it registers to them as boring beta. Yes this is how fucking childish they are.

You have to stop taking the entire thing as seriously as you are. Listen to you, you’re “devastated”. Girls would be laughing their asses off at you right now. And I’m not trying to bully you. Ultimately the problem is not with you, the problem is with this garbage society we’ve inherited and the garbage women it’s producing. However, you must adapt and realize when you’re playing the fool, and what is making you do that. Allowing yourself to be “devastated” over some stupid bitches flaking like stupid bitches do is just not grasping the fullness of our present situation. It sucks, but your idealism has to die. And you’re not the fuckup man. In a sane era you’d probably make a standard decent husband and father that could catch a decent woman without too much trouble. But we don’t live in a sane era. Adapt and overcome.

In a nutshell, you have to realize women are completely feral nowadays and in order to be turned on they need a guy who they perceive is more “not give a fuck” than they are. If you fake this they will sniff it out. Which means you have to actually not give a fuck. Which is actually easier said than done, especially at 22 when you’re still idealistic, which in a sane era would be a good and healthy trait, but now makes you poorly cut out for the jungle of modern sexual relations. Understand that we really have returned to a state of primitivism. We haven’t “progressed”, we’ve regressed. And your healthy notions of planning and honor and honesty just register to these dumb girls as boring and low status.

Intivel · 2020-08-29T05:11:12+00:00

Are you building enough rapport before inviting them out?

Telling them “you got plans now, meet me x” without proper rapport would be super creepy and uncool. Stop following scripts and learn to engage in interest conversations that leave them wanting more, without this last element, the probability of them flaking gets higher.

Dustin_Bromain · 2020-08-29T07:28:27+00:00

Women have so many choices now... they make plans with 20, blow off 10, lead on 5, never respond to 4, and actually meet up with the biggest chad of the group.

Transport127 · 2020-08-29T05:30:44+00:00

You have a long way to go man. You didn’t swallow the redpill.

Your experience isn’t unique. Girls flacked on me this week and last week too after we had arranged everything, and I didn’t care

Rimefang · 2020-08-29T06:49:39+00:00

If you expect anything, expect to be disappointed.

entrep4 · 2020-08-29T10:07:53+00:00

You're too desperate dude. If a girls ghosts on me that's it, I'd never message her again. Why would you wanna keep talking to these girls who have zero respect for you??

You need to be looking for girls who are actually interested in you rather than the ones who just want an ego boost from getting asked out and bought food and drinks.

paul_ernst · 2020-08-29T10:21:48+00:00

After I leave work, I don’t have the energy to go out and try to find a chick to game in a random bar, etc.

Alright first of all, online dating is a shit show for betas. What you say here is blatant BS. If you want to be a man, you have to be in the street. You don't even have to go out to bars. Just talk to girls during the day. Online dating is only going to give you significant increase in lays if you're up there in the top 10% and girls naturally come up to you. When you're like everyone else, which is OK, you have to go out there and show that you got balls. Period. Not doing that is failing the mother of all shit tests. And actually talking to girls in the street, you'll quickly discover that it's blue ocean with barely any competition. Girls will love you for it.

Second, if you set up a date. Make it proper, straightforward and clear. No half-baked assumptions and 'being cool'.

Third, this girls is not what you're looking for. The fact she says stuff like "I never said for tonight" is horrible and she could have said it in 10 different and more respectful ways. You're disrespecting yourself even more playing it cool again. There's a difference between being butthurt and self-respect. The last one you can do with a big smile on your face, laughing at yourself and tell her: "you always like that?" If she can't be funny and playful, she's disrespectful and only replies to show her friends "what a weirdo, look what he texts now!" And if she replies with ONLY smilies and smilies like that, it's time to exit brother. Laugh with yourself and wish her all the best.

You're 22, already pimping. Keep it up, keep learning, keep failing forward. If you get triggered and angry by girls like that, thank them for showing you directions to grow.

Tambamwham · 2020-08-29T18:20:00+00:00

I can tell you what you’re doing wrong but you young bucks are so stuck in your bullshit Internet world you won’t hear me. Fuck tinder and fuck social media. Fuck messaging apps. That shit is for teenage girls. Not grown men with self respect. Delete it all. Never use it again. Meet girls your interested in by walking up to them and telling them to their face. Stop texting girls. Period. Let every other bum ass Joe Schmoe aimlessly text girls and let apps do the work for them. Get their phone number and Call them. Call them and ask them out. If they don’t answer... leave a voicemail asking them out. If they say no or don’t get back to you... then that is that. Unless your fucking them, never have text conversation with a girl. Ever. Period. Only text them to confirm a date on the day of the date or the day before. Everything else should be done in person. And fuck “game.” Your priority should be to be so undeniably high value that you don’t need game. Until you have the looks, status, and finances to pull a woman in person... your priority should be to get there. You should be lifting everyday and eating with a purpose... pursuing a robust and varied social/ hobby life... and putting career goals into over drive. When you become the best version of yourself the women will come to you.

ExBetaBitch · 2020-08-29T05:25:25+00:00

Congratulations buddy, you’ve learned the last secret of RP! All young women these days are flakes who will ditch most guys in a heartbeat for a gangbang! Don’t reply back unless she does first going forward. There is no secret formula for getting bitches. All you can do is keep trying. Keep getting hurt and eventually you’ll get used to it that when it happens it doesn’t even phase you. Only then do you become truly RP.

savagetwonkfuckery · 2020-08-29T06:06:09+00:00

You care too much

lovatoariana · 2020-08-29T07:04:47+00:00

"Im fucking devastated guys". There is your problem. It feels to me like you are on edge with your patience with girls, and they will feel that trust me.

Anyways thats how online dating works. Had a girl confirm a meetup at 8 pm, i sat for 45 minutes waiting, she never came and ghosted me. Keep in mind that i live in a smaller town where shit like that should be less likely to happen comparing to if i was living in New York. Atleast thats my opinion.

throwawayandtossout · 2020-08-29T15:51:39+00:00

I understand what you say about the typical advice you get here .. "abundance mindset, get more plates, etc.".

But let me ask you ... what makes you a prize? How much money do you earn each week? How attractive are you? What is your SMV? Judging purely based off you post here, I'd say you are prob lower SMV, and really wanting to plate women.

See the disconnect there? You must FIRST raise your SMV before even thinking about women! Otherwise, you'll face frequent rejection, frustration, and anger.

IMO, I doubt you should even be thinking about women right now, and should instead be focusing on yourself. Increase your earning potential, improve your strength and wisdom/knowledge. In other words, you should be looking to improve yourself physically, mentally, emotionally, financially, etc. BEFORE you start thinking about women.

You'll know when you made it when women start naturally gravitating in your direction. I mentioned in a previous post about going to the bank a few weeks ago to close one of my accounts. The dude helping me started asking me a bunch of personal questions. Turns out he has a daughter, and he wanted to ask if I'd be interested in taking her out .. and he gave me her phone number. I wasn't even looking to find a woman and one practically falls in my lap.

Another story ... yesterday at work. A nurse I see every week started asking me where I live, what I'm into, etc. Turns out she lives nearby, and volunteers her phone number in case I ever want to "hang out". I didn't ask .. I wasn't looking.

When your SMV is high enough, you don't have to pursue women quite so much. You don't have to try so hard.

Quit whining about your situation and then getting frustrated that what you're doing isn't working. I spent the last 10+ years working towards my professional degree .. and I know with certainty it's helped me get women. But that isn't even the best benefit. It's given me a stable financial future, a purpose, a sense of duty and pride.

If your situation sucks, then do something about it .. improve it. Don't cry that you can't get women and complain that what you're doing isn't working. Change things up and improve yourself. We all have varying levels of "luck" bestowed upon us at birth (family origin, looks, height, physique, character, sense of humor, intelligence, etc. Improve the areas of your life that are lacking and women will take notice. Don't just complain that you're overweight, ugly, poor, etc. and that women won't meet you. Do something about it.

AllMyHoesWearJoggers · 2020-08-29T21:58:08+00:00

I knew something was off... It smell like bitch in here

Lama_Fangs · 2020-08-29T04:37:52+00:00

Dude 😂. Why do you Feel so entitled to a date? Girls like guys who do fun things and have fun hobbies.

AltruisticBeautiful7 · 2020-08-29T02:42:46+00:00

Because this is tinder, let her chase now but dude a girl who put herself in a dating apps cannot be high value girl. It goes against the definition. She is putting herself in a Menu just for bangs, and so does you. From this point it should be clear: do not take it seriously. Use it as your test lab for having fun with responses. The most "girlfriendable" girl u'll find there r, if u r lucky, the needy ones.And i'll tell u more, at 22, don't expect any better lol not from you, but from their responses. Older woman and older man just have less and less patience for bs, the bases r the same tho.

WalkToTheHills82 · 2020-08-29T04:20:30+00:00

Just take it easy man. Women on any digital media just get to call the shots no matter what unfortunately, just how it's played, Tinder is just a numbers game, guaranteed your're not the only guy she's talking to. You are being a little too critical on yourself.

In fact, I'm also 22, I was in your spot too about half a year back, I was also flustered; throwing in the towel might actually benefit you because you're making it too formulaic. So, bottom line, there's honestly more stuff that could use your attention. Putting in less work and attention to Tinder could probably help you a lot with abundance mentality if anything.

If I can suggest, just max out your swipes for the day (honestly, it is worth gold if you can afford it imo, Tinder has an algorithm designed to work against you over a long period of time); any matches you get, just send some witty openers. I call it a ghost or flake after about a day of no response, so just move on. They have their own lives, no matter how insignificant it may be, and they have other guys talking to them. It's a waste of your precious time getting frustrated over this, go kill your next workout.

boy_named_su · 2020-08-29T04:50:06+00:00

For tinder, go for immediate lay only

Get out there and day game.

clonegreen · 2020-08-29T05:08:50+00:00

You sound quite heavily invested in women's validation. I'd get to the root of this before you go out and date, less you ruin things by acting too needy.

I highly recommend meditation, and possibly therapy, depending on your financial situation,

Drawman12 · 2020-08-29T05:19:07+00:00

Dude you put pussy on pedestal. Stop making it your purpose, they can feel that shit.

And stop telling girls "hmu when u are free" set up a date with both of you agreeing. You are in her frame when you tell her hmu anytime.

Jovan1000 · 2020-08-29T05:20:22+00:00

Don’t be a quitter. Woman have the upper hand on tinder. Do you want to really know why these girls flaked? I’ll give you an experiment if you really want to know... Create a female account doesn’t matter who you choose, come back a day later and you will have your answer. I’m also 22 I suggest you don’t care about the outcome of the situation with a woman.. That’s where the abundance mindset comes from. As of now I haven’t been hooking up with woman but I know I can hook up if I really wanted to. I think to myself what does she have to offer me right now? Honestly I want to know what a woman has to offer you right now other then sex.. If you jerk off or masturbate don’t even bother to be on tinder or cold approach. This is me being blunt. I know you can have what you want but do you know that?

rm7979 · 2020-08-29T05:30:04+00:00

[deleted]

319Skew · 2020-08-29T06:08:41+00:00

Relax. Even Jordan had some bad games.

But if you constantly have bad luck then look at it this way:

Your game sucks AND/OR you aren't attractive AND/OR you don't have social proof AND/OR you come across as thirsty AF.

I think it's game and thirst.

I'd say take a break. Calm down. Do something other than sex craze and anger then try again. There's no shortage of women. Try something different. Cold approach. Whatever.

joshiemcswaggy · 2020-08-29T06:09:56+00:00

Keep going brah true men stand even after defeat.

aDrunkenWhaler · 2020-08-29T07:02:09+00:00

I see 2 solutions for you:

If you're on Tinder, do it smart and you can crush it. What car do you drive? How does your crib look like? Where do you go on vacation? Are you on instagram? With your income you can create kickass accounts, showing your lifestyle and how you're rolling. Not overtly 'look at my car' bragging, but 'living the high-life', 'I'm young & I'm gettin it' humble bragging. Very few early 20 guys have what you have, and very few people altogether. Any girl will want to be near that.
Fuck Tinder. You work in sales, so you know how to sale. Nice car, nice watch, good clothes & grooming etc. You can crush it with day game, and get better quality women.

Bonus point: if you earn 20k/month, spend a few K on yourself & hire tutors. Gym coach, MMA/BJJ coach, yoga teacher, nutritionist, personal stylist, home designer, life coach, pshychologist etc. Focus on yourself.

Black_m0ngoose · 2020-08-29T07:17:43+00:00

For however long you try and meet girls on the internet, your luck will be bad with women.

Meet them face to face.

Toxik6 · 2020-08-29T07:18:35+00:00

Tinder has also destroyed my confidence however I also know I’m being a bitch. Stop using apps.

situ139 · 2020-08-29T07:48:24+00:00

Other than what most dudes here are saying, if ur mad, don’t try and fight it. Go punch something, go and sprint as hard as you can to burn off steam, nothing wrong with getting mad.

You’ll learn to not to as you get more experienced, but right now, be mad.

Don’t respond to her.

WaddenWanderer · 2020-08-29T07:56:24+00:00

Sounds like you need to go monk mode and work on your own mental problems before going on dates with chicks... it's your entire attitude that's preventing you from succeeding. You're obsessed.

HauntingYam0 · 2020-08-29T08:25:45+00:00

Next her.

albanianflag · 2020-08-29T08:32:00+00:00

Do not be too hard on yourself. Girls are used to saying the same things to every guy... I guess this is because they have more choices than us, so unlike you, if they fail, they don't cry over something. My advice would be to just not take things personally! You may actually be a really cool guy, but also remember that 'Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder', so these 5 girls may have not found you attractive, funny, cool or idk what their expectations are. Also do not act like you are a Sucker for her. Be normal, learn to say no and while texting don't be the one who is ready to give all he has just to satisfy the other's needs. Actually stand your ground and be confident, let her know that everything is reciprocal and you both will need to contribute to a healthy relationship. You messages give me idea of someone who is ready to do anything as soon as he has been given a chance.

Hekseville · 2020-08-29T08:46:33+00:00

Can relate to you mate, I just had one LTR in my life and now I'm going through the desert since then

marowitt · 2020-08-29T08:55:40+00:00

I jumped on the online dating bandwagon one month ago. And this is what I found works for me.

No social media, I have none and will never make one just to chat to some chick. They either give me their phone number or can screw themselves.

I don't instantly push for a date, I just shoot the shit with then, no more than 10 minutes a day.

After 2-3 days I say something along the lines of "How about some drinks? I'm busy on xxx but could do xxx" This shows that you would like to go out but also that you have other things going on in your life.

Never move stuff around, if they can't meet at my suggested days I just push it to the next week

Once the date is setup I message them in the morning if it's still happening. If they flake so be it, I don't react just say "Oh ok, no worries maybe some other time then" Maybe is the key word here, don't instantly try to make plans or react to the flake, let it go cold, throw the ball in her court. If she is interested she will suggest another time if not so be it, move on.

Like the other guys said, she had better options and was waiting in them, if she flakes on the day it means you're the spare wheel. Are you ok with being that? You should not, next her and move on. You need to be outcome-independent. Try to set up as many dates as possible, as long as it doesn't interfere with other things in your life which are more important, everything is more important than a woman as long as it's not eating pizza and watching Netflix. A lot of them will flake so don't get to hung up on it.

Online dating is even more of a numbers game than going out and meeting women.

Edit for some clarity: I have dates set up every other day. All of them are within half an hour distance maximum, if it's a bad date I don't lose to much time on traveling back and forth. If they flake so be it, always have other plans for the day as a backup.

Rustrike · 2020-08-29T09:09:37+00:00

Dating apps are toxic. Unless you're in the top 5%. Used to be top 20% about 5 years ago. More and more of the 95% men are waking up to red pill after feeling just like you and stop contributing to this unfair game. Wait 5-10 years and things will turn around. Girls will have nothing left to match with other than the top 5% that will be treating them just like they treat now the rest of us men. That's universal karma.

Skinny_Wizard · 2020-08-29T09:10:37+00:00

Watch alpha male strategies- How to prevent flakes

RedEyeBlackEye1 · 2020-08-29T09:19:09+00:00

A). My 2cents, they're using you for validation,flirting,ego boost. Stop flirting and texting so much. Just limit your flirting/texting. These bitches are getting their attention ("I'm so hot he keep blowing me up") fix from you without ever having to meet physically. Let's change that.

B)Try this:

Next chick, text her no more than 2-3 times total and make sure the last one is ONLY to SETUP A MEETUP. Make the meetup somewhere close to your(or her) place so logistics is not a problem. ALSO, setup a meetup with 1 more chick AT THE SAME TIME BUT ABOUT 1hr apart. This way,if the first 1 shows you'll have time to kickup(the usual shit) real quick,then you can get her out of there(hopefully back to your or her place) before the 2nd bitch shows.then you'd just give the 2nd bitch an excuse). If the 1st bitch flakes,the 2nd should show up. If they both flake, then FUCK EM.

C)It's ALL ABOUT HOW THEY PERCEIVE YOU(SMV). you said you have kinobody physique,but what about from the neck up,

What is your hairstyle?

Your facial hair? Try a stubble or short beard.

Already got one? Is it well groomed? Shaped/angled aesthetically? You'd be surprised how angles and shapes could change an ugly beard into an aesthetic beard and really bring out facial features.

How you style your hair and your facial hair(or whether you even have facial hair) can make or break how these chicks PERCEIVE you.

Good luck

redpillthrowaway1988 · 2020-08-29T09:36:54+00:00

She just texted me now after I texted her: “All good, just had an old friend hit town anyway”

Sounds passive aggressive and butthurt. No wonder she gave you that reply.

I've read that you make good money at 22 as a salesman, if you got rejected by 5 potential customers are you going to quit your job entirely?

robbiedigital001 · 2020-08-29T09:58:59+00:00

Mate all the techniques in the world can't compensate for lack of inner inner game. Be the prize, be the man, you have to believe your own self worth

Unlikely_Composer · 2020-08-29T10:22:49+00:00

How long have you been lifting?

AshyBoneVR4 · 2020-08-29T10:36:39+00:00

Bro, cal down man. You're putting way too much effort and work into this. The secret to dating is to make sure you're having a good time. Have fun when you're talking to these girls. Yes, do the things in the side bar, but for the love of God man, be yourself. Stop trying to be something you're not. If you have incorporated TheRedPill into your every day personality, stop regurgitating everything you see. Use the core concepts, and you do you. Stressing yourself out over dating is bullshit and you shouldn't be putting yourself through that.

Raccoon_from_heaven · 2020-08-29T10:46:52+00:00

Stop using tinder and start doing a cold approach. Most chicks on dating apps are of low quality. If you date/marry a low quality woman u'll probably end-up fucking up your happiness and peace-of-mind.

TrpKid2 · 2020-08-29T11:19:17+00:00

Have you tried dating outside of tinder. You know out in the real world where there's more girls who don't play around. Tinder is partly a validation tool where girls see who they match with, they might never date there.

Ryzza778 · 2020-08-29T11:52:30+00:00

Same here getting sick of being ghosted, no replys etc deleted all my online dating apps now focusing on myself and working on my purpose

TeddyMGTOW · 2020-08-29T12:06:04+00:00

No such thing as "confirmed" dates these days.

Roosh V used to have a text guide about setting up dates. In short, set them up at the last minute and be vague. Stick to the script.

Texting a girl on Monday about plans on Friday is worthless these days.

2020-08-29T12:17:17+00:00

This is a good thing mate. You’re getting a feel for what doesn’t work. TRP isn’t an exact guide. I know for a fact a lot of the plays don’t work for girls who live round me. Some need a more chat than what you’re describing. You can make her laugh without sealing your fate in the friend zone. Some folk take a bit more talking before they are going to meet a stranger for drinks. You need to get a feel for what’s works and doesn’t and it definitely varies from country to country or even area to area.

drTricked · 2020-08-29T12:24:58+00:00

If you're worrying about her thinking you're butt hurt then you're probably butt hurt. Just have to next her, she has low interest

djc_tech · 2020-08-29T12:34:44+00:00

I don’t know man I used tinder to great success. I had a girls flake on be before and literally jumped on tinder and fucked a different girl that same night. It can work for you for sure.

I wouldn’t call her back and I wouldn’t entertain another date with her. She had a lot of beta orbiters it seems and wants to keep it that way. Personally I’d ignore her and move on

georeddit2018 · 2020-08-29T13:24:33+00:00

I think its the way you text them.

What you do is talk to the girl on tinder to get to know her preferably the same day and ask her when she is free. Ask for her number and set up a date with location and time preferable at night/ evening time.

You don't need to be texting her before the dates and asking her if she is still on for the date unless she contact you.

Sad_Sleeper · 2020-08-29T14:18:58+00:00

Pook has mentioned this in one of his posts. https://bookofpook.com/15-lessons-for-young-men-judge-by-actions-not-by-words-lesson-3/

IXseed · 2020-08-29T14:51:45+00:00

Few things. First understand that this is what Tinder and damn near dating is. Women flake. It happens. Luckily at the beginning is usually the hardest. Once you get something steady going with women it gets easier. And remember you only need a few girls anyways. So keep prospecting.

Next. The date. From what you put, you never had a date to being with. A date has a day, place and time and she says "yes" or "i'll meet you there". Some kinda confirmation. "Nice" is not a confirmation.

Last. For this example you gave, idk if you do this with other girls but you are talking to this girl WAY too much. By the end of the FIRST convo you should of set your date. Day, time and place. After that there's no reason to text her again until the day of when you say "Are we still on?" That's it.

There's nothing wrong with being a fun texter but remember at the end of the day, the job of texting is to GET HER TO SEE YOU, not entertain these hoes.

OlderRedBrother · 2020-08-29T15:17:20+00:00

Just wanted to echo, consider working more phone calls and maybe even some FaceTime’s into your game. Nothing over the top, but something light and fun. If you catch a girl on a FaceTime or a phone call, it’s an easy way to make her laugh for a couple minutes and remind her of your awesomeness that she got to experience in person… that she’s likely forgot about since she hasn’t seen you in a few days.

I feel if done effectively this would reduce your flaking… Either way just hang in there my friend, flaking is getting pretty nuts these days but it is what it is. Keep pushing through.

and remember, keep the phone call or a FaceTime to a couple minutes. Make her laugh. Be bold, be masculine, etc. (don’t be gay-bestfriendy and stay on the line 25 minutes, etc.)

catz123456 · 2020-08-29T15:55:30+00:00

Dating apps is a shit show right now. Due to the pandemic, simping is out control and bitch egos are bigger than ever. It's way too much effort to go out with someone 2-3 points below you. On the flipside, bars are easier than ever, you'll see groups of women out looking to get picked up. Daygame is also just as easy in places where you can have the mask off.

Snowboard18 · 2020-08-29T16:22:58+00:00

Dude listen. You need to stop placing your self confidence and esteem on wether you can get laid or not. You’ll always be a beta if you do that because you NEED to have women, instead of just WANTING to have women.

A true alpha does not need to constantly get laid to be confident in himself and have high self esteem. And for that reason he does constantly get laid.

StudentOfLife001 · 2020-08-29T16:29:34+00:00

Every time something like that happens we can be glad that we find this out sooner rather than later.

slater1208 · 2020-08-29T16:52:25+00:00

That’s why I don’t use online dating. women on those sites have way too many options and are only looking to exploit men for resources. 90% of girls on there are either looking for only fans subscribers, Instagram followers that they can convert to only fans subscriptions, or single moms looking for a simp. Even if there was a “normal” girl on there she has at least 100+ guys hitting her up so why would she care about you?

nevernotthesame · 2020-08-29T18:33:01+00:00

“i been working on my text game”

stop texting these girls man LMAO just use text as a way to set up a date. stop texting her all the time and the constant flirting. this isn’t middle school where you text ur crush after you just got her number.

set up the date, make sure she’s down the day of. boom. simple.

she probably thinks your a loser if you’re flirting and texting how you are.

you got better shit to do rather than flirt over some pixels

Jdamoftruth · 2020-08-29T20:03:24+00:00

Recently I downloaded Tinder, followed your guys advice on how to make a good account( good bio, good quality pics, etc

Who the fuck suggested you DL tinder? That shit is a waste of time

jhx264 · 2020-08-29T20:33:43+00:00

Don't just ask to meet up have something to do that's cool and tell her she should come along.

Wtf does telling her what time you get off from work if you don't have any specific plans?

Drinks at smokey Joe's bar at 8 tonight

prostaddict · 2020-08-29T20:56:36+00:00

A few tips from a guy who's on the otherside after swallowing the pill a few years back:

less is more.

Once you get the number, text only for logistics. If you read Rational Male, you'd of learned about three things:

1) The Golden Ratio - communicate to her about 2/3rd the time she does you

2) A woman's sexuality is fueled by her imagination. The golden ratio works because she'll fill in the gaps with her ideal of you (omg is he talking to other girls? what's he up to? why isn't he feeding me attention like these other losers?) This is why the “All good, just had an old friend hit town anyway” line works

3) Be firm. Don't ask her questions about what she wants to do or if- especially girls around your age are indecisive as fuck. If you got her number and she wants to date, say something like 'Hey - I'm taking you to <bar relatively near your place that YOU like the vibe of and are comfortable in> at 7 on Tuesday'. If she says she's busy then and doesn't reciprocate a time, wait. Wait a day or more. Then type something like 'Np. Thursday same time'. All the while you're working on spinning more plates on the apps.

berttbeans996 · 2020-08-29T04:51:55+00:00

Man, you gotta post a pic. Im a strong believer in we have to actually see what you look like to assess your situation.

ToldYouNotToWorry_ · 2020-08-29T10:10:56+00:00

Other guys already told you what you needed to hear, you are basically needy and invested as fuck, so I’m not gonna repeat them, but rather talk about different approach

If you’re not lying and you’re making that kind of money that you’re mentioning in comments, let that money works for you. Be a little on the douchbag side (but not a complete douchebag) showing rich full lifestyle on ig, take some trips to attractive locations, have fun in good cars listening some music, get a pet. The idea is never to actually show the money, but to have fun and social life that would not be possible if you don’t have money for. You understand what I’m saying?

Title	I’m fucking devastated guys
Author	rm7979
Upvotes	77
Comments	191
Date	August 29, 2020 1:34 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/iijvqv/im_fucking_devastated_guys/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/im-fucking-devastated-guys.233048 https://theredarchive.com/post/233048

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