The reason women love men who appear somewhat disinterested in them

LanaTownsend · 2021-11-27T19:41:45+00:00

For the most part, I agree. I like how you highlighted not being completely invisible to women either. Too many guys think that being a completely silent hermit will get women fawning over them.

Show her some attention, but not being too eager or available.

Of course, there are some women who are privy to this game and will completely ignore your ass if you think she's gonna pursue you. Many women like feeling desired by a man she likes. If you're too cold or distant, she'll move on.

master_power · 2021-11-28T00:35:01+00:00

You used the key word in your post. "Needy". The key isn't to be disinterested. I tried that shit when I was younger. It doesn't work. Show interest, but in a non-needy way.

I_am_Jaguar · 2021-11-27T22:38:30+00:00

As Coach Corey Wayne said The quickest way to gain someone’s attention? Remove yours.

Dianabayyebii · 2021-11-27T21:40:59+00:00

This only works if she is already interested in you. Not sure how effective this would be at a club or what not.

theosamabahama · 2021-11-27T20:11:21+00:00

Being disinterested, lay back or distant, make you look like a guy who already has a lot of women. You have options, so you are not desperate. That signals to the girl that you have what women look for in a guy, since other women are into you.

MyName_isLame · 2021-11-27T18:45:07+00:00

As a woman, there is some truth to it. Just like men, I don’t want someone to throw themselves at me, but there has to be a little interest or I will move on and never look back.

AwakenTheSavage · 2021-11-27T22:45:57+00:00

As Corey Wayne has said, it’s a scientifically documented and verified fact that women are more attracted to men whose feelings towards them are unclear. “He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not...” Women Are More Attracted To Men Whose Feelings Are Unclear

SparklingWiggles12 · 2021-11-28T08:42:54+00:00

Abundance mindset. Women are like busses. One leaves and 5 minutes later another one appears. You don't like X Y or Z about me? Cool someone else will. I apply this attitude to my entire existence and all relationships. I will always tell you the absolute truth I hope you can take it. Cause it's nothing but respect.

Affectionate-Shine12 · 2021-11-27T18:09:40+00:00

Well I have to say depends on the woman... if you act like you couldn't care less if the woman is there or not I can guarantee she won't stay for long.

ksmith11011 · 2021-11-27T21:48:22+00:00

Even unattractive women with no options have this tendency. They aren’t reading into anything with your eagerness and deciding it’s a red flag either. It happens because if someone’s eager to be with you and making themselves available, it feels like you’ve already got them and it makes you think you can probably do better.

No need to explain why that creates an infinitely repeating cycle of bad relationships. You just have to hold out for someone who’s matured past that, or thinks you’re a rare enough catch to be willing to put up with it. The latter is not preferable but it’s way more common.

You can always learn to temper yourself so you don’t give off that vibe. Which is basically the same thing as playing hard to get but with more steps.

Men have the same tendency by the way. I noticed it in myself as a teenager and started working on it.

Slickslimshooter · 2021-11-28T02:29:20+00:00

My ex girlfriend told me this a few days after we started dating, that she fell for me cuz I didn’t give her the time of day and seemed uninterested. Tbh I was just busy with work and myself so I didn’t have time for her but ever since i heard that, I apply that tactic 100%. Talk and meet up once in a while and make the meet ups seem like you’d be going to that place regardless of her presence i.e”I’m going to this art gallery tomorrow, would you like to tag along”, compliment her once when you meet and be a gentleman, (no attempts to break a touch barrier)

twinkiefatsack · 2021-11-28T07:50:47+00:00

what I don't get is at a certain point, like I don't want to fucking play games. I am not a fuckin child. I am 36. I don't want to have to try to play these stupid ass games just to try to find a girl. Its so dumb. What is the point of emotion and connection if you have to jump through all these bs games just to finally actually be able to show a person who you are. I man I get that's why I am still single, but like lol I just laugh at the stupidity of this crap. I would like to believe that everyone has the same end game....you know, find someone, live happily ever after ect....why jump through hoops and pretend your not interested and don't talk to her for a few days, make her chase you ect, its just so dumb.

SpiderBen14 · 2021-11-28T12:12:24+00:00

My experience has been that women really like it if you just act normal. Don’t act disinterested, but don’t act overly interested either. Just be natural. The idea is that you want to subtly let them know that there is interest but that you have options and you’re fine without a partner at all. It works.

passingnotes26 · 2021-11-27T20:17:33+00:00

As a woman I agree that excessive attention feels overwhelming… and it’s not that I take it as a guy being insecure, but rather un-self-aware, a love bomber, or a disingenuous extrovert. If a guy were to talk to me in a thoughtful way, like ask me questions about myself, laugh with me, hold eye contact… 🥵 just be confident but in a quiet easygoing way.

Fufi44 · 2021-11-28T02:22:29+00:00

Just piping in to say that this is 100% effective on men as well. Anytime in my life that I’ve done the ‘just wanting to fuck’ thing it drive men fucking insane. I’ve never seen so many men demanding 100% of me as when I DONT want that from them.

Don’t any of you let the sexist idiots of Reddit tell you that this is something that’s exclusive to women. Men are every bit as susceptible to being played as women are. In fact, I highly suggest it. There’s nothing more satisfying than giving an asshole a taste of his own medicine.

Thankyoubestfriendo · 2021-11-28T03:23:39+00:00

Women love what they can’t have.

No_North_9856 · 2021-11-27T21:49:10+00:00

Totally, works with men too

GuaranteeOwn5108 · 2021-11-27T23:49:54+00:00

It works both ways

Chewbaccafruit · 2021-11-28T03:37:54+00:00

I think a better way of stating this is to not give her special attention. She is not the reward at the end of a chase, not the object of a pursuit. She's a person. Treat her as if she were someone else you're getting to know, at least when you start talking. Once a conversation gets going you can be more flirty. Humans want what they can't have. If you serve yourself up with no challenge it's no fun for them.

lovemidnightrose · 2021-11-27T20:01:07+00:00

I'm fairly different from other women so I'm going to give you my take on this. Women like me don't want a pushy man but we don't care of disinterest either. We're looking for a long term man, not some one night stand like most of the boys these days seem to enjoy. The ultimate goal is a life partner and mate who is willing to share their life. If you're aloof and don't want to talk then fine, don't expect anything more than a half glance. But if you open up little by little as trust grows, like a carefully tended garden, the relationship will also grow. There's plenty of women out there looking for a one and done just like there are plenty of men like that but if you are looking for someone to build a life together, don't be pushy and be willing to take your time. Be kind. Who knows what kind of trauma they might have dealt with in the past.

Carpsonian22 · 2021-11-28T02:48:21+00:00

I disagree. I am not into men unless they are clearly into me. Why would I want to waste my time with someone who thinks I’m “just okay” when someone else might be totally captivated by me? Like if a guy is ignoring me then I’ve completely stopped paying attention to him. If I see a guy who I am attracted to and he looks at me like he’s totally into me, I’m definitely giving him a shot over the guy who ignores me. I’m also 30 and don’t see a point in playing mind games. Maybe this disinterested thing works for younger girls?

happybunday · 2021-11-27T23:36:00+00:00

As a woman, this might be true in some extent. But speaking of my recent experience, the cooldown comes really fast, especially when I have options of better men that are more interested.

bluedrygrass · 2021-11-28T06:37:29+00:00

No, that's not the real reason. Even women who receive very little attention (due to age or general unactracctiveness) are much more attracted by dismissive/assholeish/uninterested men.

Puzzleheaded-Pea6364 · 2021-11-27T20:45:25+00:00

Subjective, i dont have time to play games as a woman. Wouldnt waste my time with a man who doesnt know what he wants.

rivetcitymayor · 2021-11-27T23:51:45+00:00

You acting disinterested in a woman who doesn’t like you to begin with won’t make a difference at all, the ones that like you won’t mind you showing interest

cormacru999 · 2021-11-28T02:29:16+00:00

Did you read a seduction expert book & then decide to pass that along? There is no one tried & true method to succeeding with women that suits every man & every woman. Being overeager is not bad because women are all calculating all this men's seduction analysis, they don't like it because its gross. And this sort of advice is all pretty dishonest & disingenuous & if you try to follow this whole pop psychology plotline to score, that relationship won't have a lasting foundation.

I have never needed to do any of this. Some women I went slow with because that's what was right with that woman. Another woman I chose a more direct, just say what I'm looking for route, & that was right for her. Juts be a decent man, be aware of what women's experiences are like, stay honest, be upfront, & you'll be fine.

ange251 · 2021-11-28T07:31:51+00:00

True, but damn. How fkd up is this, in all honesty!!!!! I'm not 1 of these. Wtf why does everyone just want to play games!!! Just bs!!

AelfredRex · 2021-11-27T20:07:37+00:00

Maturity. That's the word you're searching for.

aStonedPanda94 · 2021-11-27T17:23:08+00:00

[permanently deleted]

FlanneryODostoevsky · 2021-11-27T21:21:39+00:00

Is this shit ever written by or agreed with by a woman? To my thinking a disinterested guy just doesn’t give a woman as many reasons for caution like a desperate or even interested guy might. Moreover this is not universal. Many women really want to be desired and pursued. They then act disinterested to keep the chase going and get the attention. But any girl going after uninterested guys is a confused girl and probably not gonna be happy with what she eventually gets.

Direct-Success6537 · 2021-11-28T04:58:19+00:00

Just be rich and handle your business and you'll get the 10s ... of course, who would want to date a guy who makes 40k a year unless it's a whale

Ljhasta · 2021-11-28T05:12:56+00:00

This is a double edged sword.

Ud be better off showing interest and just being genuine.

Just show her you have options and a life other than her and shell figure out some way to get jealous, they always do

derpmaciaa · 2021-11-28T06:54:26+00:00

That last paragraph. Great mind games. Love it

burncushlikewood · 2021-11-28T07:27:23+00:00

This is my game right here, I remember reading this story about a girl who went out with some friends ended up hooking up with a guy, and the way he got with her she used the term "law of least effort" the guy who gets the girl tries the least, and generates more interest by demonstrating high value by giving off the abundance mentality vibe. When you just approach a woman without directly showing interest and just getting to know her as a person/connect you will do well. Watch out though cause this form of game breeds a lot of jealousy

2021-11-28T13:53:55+00:00

I personally don’t agree with this, I love it when a man I like is crazy about me. The thing is somethings men are absolutely unattractive (physically or mentally) and no matter your strategy you will never be her type. If I don’t like your voice, you can have whatever strategy you want I will never desire you sexually.

mrTruth007 · 2021-11-28T14:35:37+00:00

But I like to be this.

jeinejsnshvn6666666 · 2021-11-28T18:38:34+00:00

Attraction through disinterest only works if you’re hot enough to gain their attraction from the get go. You think any woman becomes attracted to a ugly guy because he didn’t show her any interest? She already doesn’t even know you exist lmao

2021-11-28T20:05:35+00:00

This has worked for me on 2 separate occasions. When every other guy in the room is openly flirting, I'm just being a normal friend. After 3 months of not flirting and saying no to any advancements made by them, the girls just couldn't stand it. Basically forced me to have sex with them.

rad4baltimore · 2021-11-29T02:08:24+00:00

Nope. I just dropped a guy this week because of his aloof behavior. These petty little games on here don't work on mature women who are high value and looking for a long term relationship. She will just move on to someone else and lose interest.

libbydibbydoo · 2021-12-04T12:50:08+00:00

30/F here...and this is just my two cents.

From what I've noticed, It all boils down to self worth and a confidence booster. If a woman sees a guy as hard to get for whatever reason, she'll end up trying harder because she sees it as a challenge for validation. Kind of like, "If I can hook this one, then I must be worth more than I thought." Or! "If I can hook this one, it'll validate how attractive/interesting/etc. I think I am."

There's tons of (widely enjoyed) romance novels/movies you can check out as proof. If a woman can get the interest of a "bad boy" type or a seemingly emotionally unavailable type...then her feelings of self worth and validation skyrocket.

OR. They have the whole sick puppy syndrome thing and they want to help "save" them or whatever. And THAT will add to their self worth/validation...based on who she can win over.

I've been there in my early twenties and y'all...it was rough. 😅 Not every woman plays that game but more often than not, that's what they're doing.

Title	The reason women love men who appear somewhat disinterested in them
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	453
Comments	113
Date	November 27, 2021 2:50 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/r3f20o/the_reason_women_love_men_who_appear_somewhat/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/the-reason-women-love-men-who-appear-somewhat.1271684 https://theredarchive.com/post/1271684

Comments