~ archived since 2018 ~

I'm back with another Tinder video, even more proof that not giving a fuck works wonders.

[deleted]

May 1, 2014

251 upvotes

/r/seduction

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Post Information

Title	I'm back with another Tinder video, even more proof that not giving a fuck works wonders.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	251
Comments	193
Date	May 1, 2014 11:44 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/24g5ir/im_back_with_another_tinder_video_even_more_proof/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/im-back-with-another-tinder-video-even-more-proof.1370125 https://theredarchive.com/post/1370125

Comments

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points18 points 12 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link

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[–][deleted] 8 points9 points10 points 12 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

I double beg to double differ. Bitter post incoming.

I have swiped thousands upon thousands of girls over the last 6 months, and got maybe 20 matches. That's not even exaggerating, I would say 'I'm going to swipe 100 girls now' then do the same a few hours later, for a few weeks, until I started wondering if I'm better off flying to tibet to become a monk, or also wondering if tinder was working properly, which sadly the occasional fat or transexual girl matching with me confirmed it was.

Out of those ~20 girls, maybe 4 have replied, 1 out of those I fucked but if I was going to rate her, she'd be 4 or 5, and there was zero resistance to any escalation, so I was basically a warm body. Great. I have tried variations of stuff like the OP writes, also general friendly 'nice guy' stuff, one HB8 almost met up with me for a drink but we just couldn't make it work because I was catching a flight the next day (I was only visiting that town).

Lets see what my pictures are.. 1, with a friend on top of a mountain in motorbike gear 2, with a girl at a restaurant 3, in the archway of a temple

Also, I occcasionally switch my pictures around, and I'm currently on the 'best' set, about 1 match per week with a girl I block immediately.

I didn't even think I was so unattractive until tinder, I thought I was at least average as people have told me I'm good looking, but it's basically put me back months of progress, because after this huge sample size clearly I'm some sort of genetic anomaly who should not be going near anyone of the opposite sex due to how hideous I am.

So yeah, anyone who gets more than 1% matches has it on easy mode I think, you're already in..

For reference I'm 6"2, fairly muscular, very low BF%, but my bane is being on the ginger side. My hair is 'dirty blonde' or some do call it ginger, and I'm really pale. I've chosen the photos which least accentuate my paleness and it's the only thing I can think of which is that bad about me, but apparently the female mind thinks differently!

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[–]frogma2 points 12 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

As the creator of the glossary: we use acronyms and shorthand in much the same way they're used in every other subject. Math, science, philosophy -- everyone uses acronyms and shorthand in every subject, and if you can find any subject that doesn't, feel free to mention it. They simply make it easier for people in the same "field" or "community" to understand what someone else is talking about. It only sounds "shitty" in regard to seduction because it has an emotional impact on you, where you think it's overly "scientific" and/or depersonalizing. And I respect that opinion... I just don't really agree with it.

Tangentially, we also use terms like FWB to refer to "friends with benefits." That term wasn't created by the seduction community -- it existed well before then. But I think you'd agree that it's acceptable shorthand, even though the seduction community also happens to use the term.

Like someone else mentioned (and like I mentioned in the glossary), a k-close isn't simply a kiss, and it would take longer to describe the situation of ending an interaction with a kiss, whereas "k-close" is immediately understood by anyone who already knows the term (within this community, virtually everyone knows the term). I can make out with a girl for hours, and end the night by fucking her -- "k-close" wouldn't be relevant to that situation at all. It has a separate meaning, and tends to be the most efficient term to use when describing an entire interaction. Not always, but usually.

[–]RadicalModerate001 point 12 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]frogma1 point 12 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Yep. Also just to add (late): I added certain terms that I found in other "seduction" glossaries, that I myself may not agree with. I tried to make mine a bit more "friendly" for beginners, but some of the terms were simply too well-known for me to ignore.

"Spinning plates" might be on there, but it's not like I agree with the idea -- I just put it on there because it's fairly common within the community.

Like you mentioned though, "k-close" is simply when the interaction ends with a kiss. Saying "the interaction ended with a kiss" takes much more time than simply saying "k-close," and that's really the only reason why we use short-hand for that sort of thing.

I personally don't usually use short-hand in that situation, because I do think it's kinda weird, but I can totally understand why others use it. Same reason we use HB8 instead of "Monica, who was pretty hot" -- for one, we don't want to use the person's actual name. Two, we don't want to draw on the story when only the basics are required. Three, we want to give the other /r/seduction users an overview about the situation, not about Monica herself. Nobody reading the post gives a single shit about Monica herself.

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So I will be honest with you, I was in that position as well. I was down and out. What I found to be the biggest help was making guy friends, here's how:

Pump your self up. I think there was an episode of 30 Rock where Jack says while looking into the mirror, “You’re a tiger. Take what’s yours.” That's what you need to be.
Engage Engage Engage. Go to social gatherings and introduce yourself right away to the nearest person. It will be easier if you do it right away and the more that you second guess yourself the worse off you'll be.
Control the conversation, you're the boss or the tiger here. Maintain a flow of the conversation.

There was a point where I was right there with you, but making guy friends is really helpful. It helps you build a social circle. Trust me you'll get laid or you'll makeout with girls eventually (look at me, I was a dork in high school and for most of college), but having a core group of guy friends will get you through anything.

As always read, read, and do some more reading. If you take anything away from seddit, become a more learned man. Reading about things improves your vocabulary and gives you things to talk about.

EDIT: Don't read bad literature, read something difficult and take your time. Search for lists of good literature and bad literature. Stop watching TV, it makes you think you're smarter than everyone else, and it makes you live a fantasy for a few hours, though watch a little SportsCenter to keep up with sports (you're a guy, it's expected of you).

What is even more important is to do what you love. Feeling kinda down? Book a flight to Costa Rica and spend time there, or spend time in SE Asia. You'll live a more fulfilled life, who knows what happens when we die. Keep a positive attitude and things will seem a lot clearer. Watch this video by David Foster Wallace for keeping a positive mindset, changed my life.

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Unless you live in a big city. For everyone who doesn't, sadly in the USA and even Canada, you will be at a severe disadvantage if you are not physically attractive or white/black.

I tried tinder for a while last year. I'm Asian, average looks, physically fit, dress well (at least according to every girl I've been involved with and my female friends), decent pictures, and got 1 match over the course of a few months. Wasn't expecting anything coming into Tinder, but eventually decided it's a waste of time.

Not unlike other dating apps/websites that cater to the younger crowd (OkC, Hot or Not, etc), most of the girls on these apps are either looking for a hookup or an ego boost. They have to have a motivation to actually give a guy their number, and judging by the basic open then immediately close routines that work well (or in this case work well for this guy) in apps like this, women are 100% deciding if they will respond/respond well to you by looks and pictures alone.

So now apply this principle to the American population demographic. Living where I do, where the only Asian people either do your nails or make your General Tso's, most women are caucasian or African American, and do not have enough exposure to other ethnicities to overcome engrained American stereotypes of them. The amount of times I've been called "Jackie Chan/Bruce Lee-looking motherfucker" is just depressing. To these women, Asians and most other non-European/American ethnicities are undatable, therefore get instantly denied on apps like Tinder. The rare exception is when you come across a girl with yellow fever (insert color fever for other ethnicities). Or the one girl from your ethnicity happens to find you on Tinder.

Now compare this to a larger urban environment, where ethnic diversity is much higher, people tend to be more open minded. In addition, and this may be a gross generalization, there have been research done on the correlation between education level/IQ and racial prejudice. Looking at the American school system, the best and brightest tend to reside near urban centers. Now connect the dots guys.

And let's not even discuss the guy with the 300lb friend who gets with attractive girls. He's the exception, not the rule.

But with all this being said, you just have to use other tools of "seduction" instead of Tinder, where your looks and maybe your opening message aren't the only things you have to work with. So my recommendation to everyone who doesn't live in a big city and doesn't fit the American standard of attractive, focus your energy somewhere else. Go meet women in real life. Your personality gets more room to shine than the confines of a few small pictures on a girl's smartphone screen.

TL,DR: If you live in a big city, your likelihood of getting matches on apps like Tinder are less affected by race and debatably physical attractiveness. Anywhere else, you're at a disadvantage if you are not white/black or noticeably physical attractive by most Western standards... so basically a 6 pack in a nice picture might overcome the American stereotype that Asians have small dicks. Maybe >.< So if you're having trouble with apps like Tinder and you're not attractive or live in a big city, go meet girls in real life.

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Do you honestly believe that being white makes you more attractive? I know plenty of white guys that have very little success with women. Maybe it's because I live in Canada where multiculturalism is promoted. I'm Somali and I haven't had problems with getting matches on Tinder.

It's mainly about your physical appearance but that alone wont' get you matches. Your pictures need to be decent. Not amazing, but good enough.

If you're not ugly, then chances are the women in your area have different preferences. It's the same thing outside of Tinder. I visited a small town in Canada with my non-white buddies and the attention we received from women was overwhelming at first. We went to a couple of bars and from the moment we walked in, all eyes were on us. It helped that there happened to be more women than men at the bars but still.. we wouldn't get that kind of attention in a big city. Maybe it's because we didn't give a fuck or the fact that we were probably the only non-white people out that night. To make a long story short, we invited some women back to our hotel and had a good time.

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