Slut shaming has been a wildfire topic since the popular Youtube video of a young, bright teenage girl vlogged about her high school experiences (would link the vid but work site blocks YT). The femmenazis and white knights have heralded the subject as a ultimate example of how society continues to marginalize the sexuality of women. They claim there is no slut analogue for men, hence creating a double standard. Men are "allowed to have as much sex as they want", and "their sexuality is a status icon", and "they desire it beyond all wealth and possessions", and "will stop at nothing to get it." And we're supposed to be okay with that...

Aside from male genitalia being a conventional slang for anything insulting, crude, uncivilized, or insensitive, there is an analogous "slut" standard for men, the insult of being "gay". We all know that homosexuality is marginalizing on both fronts, but we've truly fail to acknoweldge that men get it way worse than women do. Gay men have suffered tremendously in lynch mobs, systematic extermination, castration, and worse throughout history and these trends continue. Lesbian activity, conversely, has been a sort of hush-hush societal topic like "Boston Marriages". For fuck's sake, I had a professor during my undergrad who asided to me after class--in a long, meandering explanation-- that he's generally against homosexuality because of religion and because he thinks gay sex is disgusting, though he does feel torn because lesbians "are a beautiful thing".

The other day, my younger cousin and I were at a restaurant, passing comments about a good looking female waitress. He urged me to make a move and I said that I didn't feel interested. The knee jerk reflex, "What are you, gay, man?". I struggled to grasp why that should be an appropriate comment. I realized it was an intimidation tactic; that, because I wasn't conforming to the male role, I could be badgered into it for fear of being labeled as the least masculine male trait.

I asked him, "And what if I was?" (knowing full well that I'm not). I would much rather have freedom to act out of my own volition than to maintain a societal perception that I'm manly. Homophobia has really, really trumped the behaviors of this generation of males, speaking as a mid 20s man, and probably to some extent in the older generations as well, though I have not met anyone willing to talk about that experience. Showing any kind of hurt through crying, shaking, or laughing is considered a complete shame in men, getting ridicule and making people generally feel uncomfortable. It's automatically associated with being gay because it has conventionally become the most emasculating insult we can conjure to bully men into "sucking it up", hence attaching more stigma to the concept of being "gay" as a sexual orientation. The result of bullying through gay insults? Men act placid, calm, unphased... though in any other light, those same attributes to the extreme are seen as "insensitive" and "crude". These are the same men who suffer in relationships because they cannot get their desired closeness, cannot asked to be touched, or loved. Neither man nor woman feels satisfied in a relationship that's defined by behavioral barriers, yet they're so reinforced by our actions. I believe to the greatest extent, men suffer because their needs fall dead last on the needs of the whole.

It's time to end the intimidation tactics and the slandering of a lifestyle deemed "immasculine". I doubt this is news to most of you here, and for me my revelation and realized feelings are coming somewhat late in life, but it seems like an MRA topic that deserves more attention. I have spoke my piece.