A Man's Experience Of Falling In Love

BleuBird18 · 2018-11-26T16:12:13+00:00

This is also how women fall in love.

Sometimes men and women notice someone cute or hot and trip into lust land.

Sometimes a neutral person becomes attractive because of their personality.

The only surprising thing is that anyone thinks the process is exclusive or unique TO one gender.

blackedoutfast · 2018-11-26T18:27:22+00:00

that description is very exaggerated and sappy and oneitisy but the general idea is more or less true.

and it's not limited to appearance. it also happens for her particular habits or interests/passions or personality quirks. if she is into yoga or whatever, that fact starts seeming more interesting or endearing than it really should be. and for me at least, the other stuff can be more important than looks.

and it can also make her flaws seem less noticeable the more you click with her.

darla10 · 2018-11-26T18:18:40+00:00

This is very sweet, and a great description of how husband goggles develop.

Workaholico · 2018-11-26T22:03:10+00:00

Oneitis. He has oneitis. Every man feels that in the long run. It is how people fall in love. But normally ends up badly for him, real bad.

I, like any other TRP, would love to fall in love and continue like that. But it normally takes us nowhere. That why TRP consider this a sickness. It is a obstacle. Or you make her fall for you after failing I don't know how many times and without attachment. Or you only end up braking your face each and every time.

MGTOWtoday · 2018-11-26T20:30:47+00:00

What I don’t think women understand (nor could they without experiencing it themselves) is that when a guy finds a woman attractive he’s seeing her through his own psychological filter. That filter is there whether he likes it or not and most men don’t fully understand that the filter even exists.

When men see women that he’s attracted to and loves, he sees something pure, and overwhelming and well, even angelic. Think of how many love songs written by men that compares them to angels. When that filter is engaged it could be raining cats and dogs but to him the sun is shining, birds are chirping and he can feel the warm breeze on his face as if he was lying on the beach in the Bahamas.

It’s sometimes laughable to me how much women over analyze and critique their own bodies. You think you look like the Hunchback of Norte Dame, meanwhile he’s looking at you and thinking he’s died and gone to heaven.

Every once in a while you’ll see a depiction in cinema of the moment when this filter turns on and yeh, it’s very much like this.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=JzL0yk-i8vU

jax006 · 2018-11-26T16:19:22+00:00

This is an accurate depiction of Oneitis

wekacuck · 2018-11-26T20:25:18+00:00

Yes. This describes pretty well how I fell for my wife. Because of circumstances I was sort of socially strong-armed into dating her initially and intended to make her break up with me as the only socially-acceptable escape. But... this happened instead. And I remember the personality meshing specifically being the lead-in to it all because I discussed it all with my brother.

cxj · 2018-11-26T20:59:41+00:00

This is kind of true, but there need to be pleasant or at least pleasant-ish features to latch onto.

For me personally, falling in love has been more like a feeling of suddenly punched in the stomach. This isn’t exactly “lust” which would be more like seeing the babe in the slutty Halloween costume. My immediate fantasies triggered by “falling in love” are like going on a date in a sunny day at the park, holding hands, petting doggos together, cuddling, staring into each other’s eyes, as opposed to the immediate thoughts of penetration I get with “lust.”

abaxeron · 2018-11-26T16:34:32+00:00

This reply, from a guy, made me catch my breath.

Why?

Are you asking if this guy is lying? - Most probably, no.

But is his description universal? - No. And, gladly, men can train themselves not to fall into this trap.

TheBookOfSeil · 2018-11-26T17:22:48+00:00

Something along those lines, yes.

For me, it’s more like as soon as I see a woman I like, something clicks, or breaks, in my head.

I want to see her.

I want to see her more than I already do, and whenever I do, all I can seem to do is just look. The small things that make her - her. Her smile when she laughs. The sound of her voice. The color of her eyes. Everything about her becomes enhanced. She’s so captivating that nothing or no one in the world is more interesting or more beautiful to look at than the woman in front of me.

tuesdayrain · 2018-11-26T21:24:17+00:00

I notice those details on everyone, including people I'm neutral or unattracted to. I don't care enough to consciously remember them unless it's with my girlfriend

nihilismMattersTmro · 2018-11-26T22:01:12+00:00

I don't especially believe in romantic love.

We can like the way a woman looks. If she looks good and she's not being a nasty cunt to us, we're sort of indifferent to her.

If she looks good, not being nasty, and is actually being sweet and kind and fun to be around we can probably like her a bit more.

This magical lens though? I don't think so. Attractive people are generally attractive. No amount of lens will help unattractive people.

Yorkshiretea83 · 2018-11-26T22:19:14+00:00

Go watch a happy old couple that's been married for decades. Watch the man's eyes. Sure, he may appreciate some young woman's ass in yoga pants or whatever...but watch his eyes when he's looking at his spouse. If you're paying close enough attention, you can almost see the filter click on when his gaze settles on her. In that moment, he's not seeing the same frumpy empty-nester that you or I see - he's seeing something wonderful.

To me this could be projection. He don't know what an old couple feels like. He's certainly a romantic type.

petrichordium · 2018-11-26T16:19:02+00:00

No. That is how some people BUILD love. Nobody “falls” into that kind of resilience merely from a degree of high infatuation.

Million-Suns · 2018-11-26T18:15:07+00:00

Is this how men experience falling in love?

That's how it used to happen to me. But I'd say it mostly affects young men who do not know better.

Once you grow up your learn not to do that ever again.

I haven't fallen in love in almost a decade now, due to training. Feels good.

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whatyoucallaflip · 2018-11-26T18:58:25+00:00

It's just like that, except the married old couple are in a different state of mind, in my view

PieceBringer · 2018-11-26T19:08:22+00:00

This is accurate and happened to me recently and I never felt more gay in my life.. The last time I felt like this I was freshmen in highshcool, I'm 24 now..

Raikichu · 2018-11-26T21:43:26+00:00

How many people are actually on a level where they have people fall in love with them. I'm sure I'm not someone anyone would ever fall in love with.

Cho_Assmilk · 2018-11-26T21:51:07+00:00

Men find women attractive based on their availability to him. If he thinks she likes him, she instantly goes up in his books. So the hottter the women are whom he thinks he can have, the less attractive women whom he can also have suddenly aren't as hot.

Similarly, when she fucks him over, suddenly those things that made her appearance desirable to him are gone and she becomes ugly. He'd probably pass a polygraph thatbhe thinks she's ugly.

[deleted] · 2018-11-26T22:59:58+00:00

That feeling when you connect with someone... and they don't connect back. :D

I tried calling the love service to tell them to stop charging me for a service I can't use buy they won't answer me :P

Whodunnit88 · 2018-11-26T23:45:03+00:00

I hope love like that is true.

gasparddelanuit · 2018-11-27T00:55:41+00:00

What a load of BP nonsense.

wobbleelbbow · 2018-11-27T01:39:46+00:00

I call it infatuation. It passes around 3 month mark

AlwaysResist · 2018-11-27T04:03:27+00:00

I fall in love before sex and I fall out of love after sex!!!

likeaprometheancurse · 2018-11-27T05:32:26+00:00

It's a little odd how much this centers on the person's looks. I guess men are much more visual than us. Attraction is all about the way they make me feel and the "vibe" they give off to me.

Moldy_Gecko · 2018-11-27T06:53:19+00:00

To be fair, this is similar to how one falls in love, I suppose. However, when I meet a girl, they get categorized differently. Hot = bangable, Not Hot = No way, Neutral = we'll see. My first wife I met when I was 8, looking back on it, she actually was in the neutral category. The funny thing about love is that it makes that neutral turn into a hot. I don't know what it was, but slowly, until I asked her out when I was 13, she kept getting hotter and hotter. I fucked up that relationship because that "hotness" that had grown on me, misguided me into thinking everything else about her was perfect. She's one that I truly thought I loved, but in hindsight realized I didn't.

My second wife and I dated for 6 months. She was introduced to me by a friend. She was hot from day 1 and I actually chased her 6 months before we started dating. At the time, I wasn't Red Pill or anything, but while chasing I did have 3 side chicks. But as soon as she and I started dating, I dumped them all. That was probably a mistake, because I don't think she dumped her fuck buddies. Either way, she is the only woman I can say I truly loved. We were married 10 years, have 2 beautiful daughters, but I divorced her due to lack of sex (it's also how I found my way into the Red Pill Rabbit Hole).

Now, what the Red Pill did was get me laid, a lot. After my divorce, my N count almost quadrupled in the first year. Not from 1 to 4, but something like 12 to 50. However, I realized something, I couldn't fall in love. I currently have a gf and 1 plate. I've been with my gf for 2 years and I can honestly say I don't love her. And from my point of view, our relationship is purely Machiavellian. She's rich, I'm not, I'm taking advantage of that. While I believe men and women fall in love differently (men more deeply), I don't think a truly Red Pill man, knowing what he knows about women, can ever truly fall in love after waking up.

throwaway-637 · 2018-11-27T23:30:16+00:00

This only works for average looking girls or if she's lucky slightly below average

Pope_Lucious · 2018-11-26T16:15:02+00:00

This is not an accurate internalization of how men fall in love. It’s far less impressive.

mossiness · 2018-11-26T16:48:22+00:00

It still only happens to pretty women.

passepar2t · 2018-11-26T18:24:53+00:00

Some men probably fall in love like that. For me, it took a bunch of sex before I realized I'm falling in love with her.

kragshot · 2018-11-26T18:45:12+00:00

Yup.

That's it.

Teh-Voice-of-Reason · 2018-11-26T18:46:57+00:00

The first distinction I'd like to make is the difference between love and a crush. When you have a crush on someone it completely takes over your life, and as the name suggests, it usually leads to more heartache than positive feelings.

Then as he so cringily mentioned breasts there's a difference between lust and love. When it comes to being pretty that most likely falls into the lust category, however being ugly also taps into innate instincts of physical fitness.

Love is much longer lasting and grows over time through shared experiences and emotional connections.

I think modern day hook-up culture prevents love from being established. People might feel a connection for a night but through being left unmet for long enough the need to for a lasting connection reaches Classical Conditioning extinction.

MeursaultLives77 · 2018-11-26T17:30:05+00:00

Sounds like the symptoms of an overactive imagination. Love is hell because you don't want it to be a drug, nor just another slice of reality. There has to be a balance involved.

Nowadays, the balance is utterly out of whack, and there's very little that individual opinion can do to help shift the balance towards a more agreeable state. So honestly, I just stay the hell away from love as best I can. Sure, it hits me every now and again - sometimes I wonder if I'll ever get over the weird little affections I have for some of the women in my life. But then I realize that I'm just as jaded as they are, and the best thing I can do is to share that experience and just leave it at that.

Had we been born in a different time, the past or the future, things might have been different for me and my friends. But I don't get upset about that - if I did, I'd be some nutcase extremist on the Red, Blue, or Black. Screw that.

hammerhaunts · 2018-11-26T17:28:08+00:00

This guy sounds like an annoying feelery dipshit and I want to see something made of iron applied to his face

Title	A Man's Experience Of Falling In Love
Author	SmurfESmurferson
Upvotes	65
Comments	136
Date	November 26, 2018 4:07 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/a0kmd2/a_mans_experience_of_falling_in_love/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/a-mans-experience-of-falling-in-love.258861 https://theredarchive.com/post/258861

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