As a man who never wants to get married… is it true that you noticed your women changing after your honeymoon and what changes did you notice ?

Delcium1 · 2022-01-07T16:04:17+00:00

No, I never noticed a change. 10 years of laughs, great sex, and good times. It just turned out I wasn't the only guy benefiting from all that.

Dell_Hell · 2022-01-07T16:09:30+00:00

Only rarely is it abruptly noticeable. Most try to be more subtle than just completely cutting things off or drastic changes.

It normally starts with cutting back on things she used to do for you.
(BJ's being the most frequently noted)

Then it moves to more and more obstacles to what you want, priorities that need to be higher than anything on "your list".

Duchat · 2022-01-07T16:33:08+00:00

Dating is a battle for survival, for which our opponent uses every trick in the book. In most countries, marriage is a win for life scenario with child and spousal support, plus division of assets. Would you keep training for the olympics once you’ve retired from the sport?

sicrm · 2022-01-07T16:47:18+00:00

the biggest issue outside of the legal ramifications is a lot of guys don’t make people earn anything.

they’ll let their kids/wives/family members/friends/co-workers do whatever they want, ask for whatever they want and give it even though they don’t respect them at all or contribute positively to their life.

which makes those people respect them even less.

jimsmythee · 2022-01-07T18:45:37+00:00

I've been married twice. Still married to wife version 2.0.

For the first wife, I didn't see any changes after our honeymoon. It took a few years to see subtle changes. Good became ok. Ok became bad. Bad became worse. Worse became intolerable. 5 years into our marriage, she developed a problem with pills.

Remarried 3 years now. Life's good. So far no changes in anything after honeymoon.

But I do have to admit, that I can smell an addict from a mile away now. In dating after my divorce, I started to realize a few things; "Oh, you're a raging alcoholic. Goodbye." "You have a problem with spending every last dime you have. Goodbye." "You have a problem with pills. Goodbye." Etc, etc.

FastEdge · 2022-01-07T16:50:40+00:00

There where a lot of changes. Some subtle. Some not. We where together 13 years. By the end I barely recognized her

Psychological-Bee392 · 2022-01-07T15:36:45+00:00

Not after honeymoon. But they all go down hill from there… 😳

Descarted1 · 2022-01-07T18:30:51+00:00

I really noticed it after a job change and her meeting someone new over the course of 3 months. Perhaps I was oblivious beforehand. My marriage lasted 7 years.

I really do think women can and do fall out of love quickly. I mean they can truly mean it at the exact moment they say they love you. But give it a short time and they can totally shack up with another. Easily I might add, and its like you never existed at all.

akihonj · 2022-01-07T21:39:04+00:00

You won't notice the changes, it's like a death by a million cuts.

The changes are often tiny and imperceptible, so small that most of the time you're left thinking to yourself that you imagined it.

Then about a few months after you're deep into the divorce process you wake up at 3am sweating as your brain starts to put things together. Suddenly those tiny changes become massive screaming red flags.

mriu22 · 2022-01-07T17:17:24+00:00

Yes, it seemed like she met her goal of getting married and then didn't care anymore. It was like she flipped a switch overnight.

Big-Daddy-818 · 2022-01-07T19:39:37+00:00

Oral sex has left the chat.

vindictiiv · 2022-01-08T08:05:37+00:00

It's a slow, deceitful, degradation. They slowly push the limits. Do a little less here, not so much there and before you know it you've been married 10 years, completely trapped and she doesn't do any of the things that made you love here to begin with. So now it's a miserable existence of just trying to keep her because you can't afford to have her rape you of everything you've built. That's exactly what she'll do to, they're so entitled to what you've worked for and they'll take everything thay can be cause they are spiteful, vengeful creatures with no integrity. Never, ever get married man. That's one thing I will definitely instill in my son.

azwildcat74 · 2022-01-07T18:37:16+00:00

For me it was post-kids that the change happened.

relationshiptossoutt · 2022-01-07T18:53:17+00:00

Sure, she changed but I'm not mad about it... I changed too. People change. All of us, all the time. That goes on forever.

I was 27 when I met my wife. I was broke as hell, living paycheck to paycheck, not saving anything at all. I went out most weekends with my large group of friends and got shitface drunk.

My wife was 23 when I met her. She was in grad school. We partied like crazy together, had a lot of adventures like backpacking throughout Europe.

We've been together 15 years now. I'm 42. I have a great job, make a good living, save a lot. My wife and I disagreed on how to spend/save our money. We never had that issue when we were both broke. Life was about fun, not responsibility. I changed. My wife didn't.

I no longer go out boozing all night with my buddies. We have kids now. We no longer backpack through Europe, we go on theme park vacations the kids will enjoy and maybe I can sneak 1/2 a beer in during lunch before we stand in line for the next roller coaster.

Both of our lives are wholly and completely different than when we met. Of course we changed. When we married we knew we wanted kids, but we didn't know what parts of parenting we'd struggle with and what we'd find easy.

I fell out of religion during this period, fully embracing atheism. My wife went the other direction, focusing on psychics and tarot and past lives bullshit. Our other interests changed... our hobbies changed, the way we connected changed.

Over 15 years, we discovered ourselves only to discover our new selves were not compatible. We grew apart that whole time instead of together. Now, she's like a stranger... we don't have much to talk about other than our kids. If I met her, or someone like her, today I'd turn and run. Not because of my experiences with her (although that's part of it), but because throughout my experience I know my perfect woman is pretty far away from the woman I married.

At age 27, my perfect woman was someone smoking hot who I could drink, party, and watch horror with. As a 27-year-old, it's a fine goal but those standards don't keep up at age 42.

We're in the midst of our divorce now and I can't wait until it's over. I don't think I'll ever marry or even date seriously again. If I find a woman I love dearly, there's still no guarantee I'll continue to love her until death. It's not fair to my hypothetical second wife, and not fair to me.

runny452 · 2022-01-08T04:07:33+00:00

My wife changed her stance on kids about 8 months into marriage. I'd say that's a pretty significant change lol. We both didn't want kids before we married. we were early 30s at the time. Guess it's on me for getting married and not wanting kids. Pretty pointless in retrospect.

I heard a saying once.."a man gets married hoping his wife will never change, but she does. A woman gets married hoping her husband will change but doesn't". Paraphrasing it but that totally makes sense in my case. Shit snowballed out of control from there to say the least lol..

ABBucsfan · 2022-01-07T17:09:39+00:00

mine def showed a bit of crazy before marriage if im honseet...she was dealing with depression after she got ack from vacation with her terrible mom o chalked it up to that and she had commitment issues so showed some cold feet. after marruage... yrah it jjst got more and more crazy... she shocked me because we both claimed to believe in marriage for lfe and her go to cheap shot from like week 1 was the divorce word... eventually i learned to ignore it as she just seemed to have no filter. but there were years where i thought thingd were finslly starting to get good or at least comfortable... i realzed wy too late, near the end she was always on he best behaviour when she wanted something big like s kid or a house. she had done a bit of acting in idependent films before i met her. she was never rhat crazy about me, i was a sperm donor and atm. the smoking gun wad once she got that second positive pregnancy test she didnt even wsnt me to see her naked anymore. couldnt be more obvious. i also starte to realize looking back that she was almost certainly some type of cluster b personality

anonmdivy · 2022-01-07T20:19:47+00:00

Yes. Went from trying to make us happy to trying to make herself happy.

TP_Crisis_2020 · 2022-01-08T08:26:10+00:00

Sometimes there aren't even any changes at all. It's hardwired into most women that they are never going to be satisfied in any relationship or marriage and thus are always subconsciously, and sometimes knowingly, exploring every option. Like you can read about in this post in another sub, women can say they are completely happy with every part of their relationship or marriage but there is always going to be this urge to bang the neighbor... or anybody new. And they don't know why. It's just female nature. Literally all it takes is for them to become bored, and they're fantasizing about the neighbor. This is why marriage is so scary for men, because everything can be perfectly fine in your marriage and all it takes is her to meet some new man at work or pretty much anywhere and BAM: they want to bang the new guy.

I know there are some women who can suppress this urge, but it's always going to be lurking underneath the surface.

AtomicMGTOW · 2022-01-07T19:47:20+00:00

Started dating in 1999. I was 24. We did it for about 5 years we were engaged for that last 18 months.

I noticed mine changing when we moved in together which was about 9 months before the wedding. Her parents had bought us a reasonable townhouse so I moved in from my apartment. At first I just chalked up the change of lifestyle we were both going through.

She never seemed to mind that I smoked and drank. At first she said I could smoke in my office. But very quickly after moving in I was relegated to the garage.

She started acting pretty stressed about the wedding and she wanted to lose a bunch of weight so she started doing this expensive diet her rich parents were paying for.

A few months before the wedding the blowjobs stopped. I just chalked it up to stress of the wedding and work and her efforts to lose weight... I figured she wasn't feeling very attractive. Then I started going out to the bar around the corner more often in staying longer. I usually meet my friends there once during the week and once on a weekend. But now I was trying to get out of the house two or three times during the week. I was beginning to feel very uncomfortable at home but I wasn't self-aware enough or emotionally intelligent enough to put my finger on it and I kept excusing her behavior.

She had jeep TJ for a couple years and now all of a sudden she was joining a Jeep club which was basically a bunch of guys that drive trucks and jeeps and ATVs from this nowhere Little Town. She started smoking weed at the time too.

I was now 28 years old and still didn't really know how to talk about these things and didn't even realize what the problems were. When I look back now I realize neither of us really wanted to get married. She had put pressure on me for the ring and even the engagement and it was really stupid. One day I just basically threw the ring in a bag across the room at her (not hard) and said will you marry me. She started all crying and acting like you know it was one of those perfect engagements where we were at the beach and I took a knee. Yeesh. Afterwards she begged me to do that one knee thing. And I did. Yeesh.

We still went through with the wedding and I was still going to the bar. It wasn't long before she screamed at me that I hate your friends I've always hated your friends. She started telling me that I can't put my feet up on the foot part of the recliner because it would make the material get worn out and 'bally'.

She was telling her parents that I was the drunk who went to the bar every night. When they tried to speak to me I told her that she was smoking pot with the Jeep guys every night. Do you think they sided with me? Ha.

I used to travel a lot across Canada into the states and the company I was working for came along and asked me if I wanted to move to Florida (from Ontario).

I went down and checked it out for a couple weeks while working of course.

Then I got back and started cheating with two different chicks. I took one of them to the Dominican Republic for a week. I thought she'd be convinced I was just on another job but the receipt came in the mail and it had my name and the other girl's name on it and she knows who she is.

So when I came back I told her I was moving to Florida in a month. And I did. That was the end of my one and only marriage after 18 months.

She wanted to get married not being married.

My father used to say this but I never really understood it until then "every woman must be chosen once"... I'm sure you understand that that means that every woman wants to have a guy want to marry them and even get married but once they're married it's like they've achieved the milestone and they're on to something else.

I don't even want to get into (but I will) how stupid it was when we broke up because of course she didn't want me to be able to take anything even my engagement ring. She said that the day I was moving out she was going to have people there to make sure I didn't take anything. I assumed this would be the Jeep guys. So I called up my buds and bumped up the move by 2 days when she was at work. My friends rented a limousine and we had a going away party at that bar and we even drove by her work where I told her to look out the window and waved at her.

I had only really taken my stuff except since she wouldn't give me my engagement ring back I took the dining room set that her parents bought her for like 8,000. The engagement ring was like $5,500 so we weren't that far apart. She refused to trade so I ended up taking the set to Florida even though it was way too big for my apartment.

She tried to keep the money in our joint savings account but the lawyer and her father talk to some sense into her except they took off the difference between the table and the ring. Yeesh.

She would still email or call me every couple months demanding the table back. She would cry and say that it was a family heirloom and I would tell her that it was my grandmother's estate money that bought her that f****** ring so that it was sentimental to me too but she refused to give it back.

It's funny because her parents were really wealthy and they did ask me in the beginning if I would sign a prenup. Almost as if I was the gold digger. I wasn't the gold digger she was the gold digger inspired and enabled by her parents.

Anyway I had a great time in Florida for a year until hurricane Wilma hit and shortly after that I was in contact with another girl that I had known from back home and I ended up leaving Florida and coming back and living with her for a decade.

She's never yours it's just your turn. Most of them are like locusts. They come in suck up all the resources and then when you're broken they move along. Of course they act like you're a broken piece of trash even though they're the ones that put you there.

vector5633 · 2022-01-07T19:54:51+00:00

Let's put it this way. The woman you marry is NOT the same one you divorce.

And yes, it's very true. They change a lot, most of the time, not for the best. Marriage is a one way contract that doesn't benefit us men. I've been married and divorced once. NEVER again!

Stay single, work on your future and yourself. Don't let family or friends pressure you into finding that, "special" lady. That's a Disney story, not real life. Look at the statistics. 50% of all marriages end up in divorce. Marriage is too much of a liability to men.

Of course we're human and want that opposite sex's attention. Find yourself a FWB and have fun.

Marriage is garbage these days. If the government didn't get involved in your marriage, shit would be different, however, that's not the case. Stay single and enjoy your life. You won't regret it. Just read the horror stories from men going through or have been through a divorce.

Stinky_Pete101 · 2022-01-07T20:53:02+00:00

Mine was fine until my old lady hit mental pause…🤦🏼‍♂️

IncreaseCommercial71 · 2022-01-08T04:28:18+00:00

After twins. She became a huge drunk and ran through multiple men.

stiff_muffins · 2022-01-08T01:11:46+00:00

It works both ways kid. Guys can change just as much or not at all. I know I did.

ironchimp · 2022-01-07T21:07:21+00:00

In the immortal words of Kosh: Yes

Throwaway118585 · 2022-01-08T06:30:10+00:00

Every human being on earth changes. This isn’t specific to women, married women or post married women. I changed just as much as my ex wife. Partners, men and women, challenge you and help you grow in ways you can’t comprehend. Regardless of the pain caused in separation, I wouldn’t change a thing. That’s a recipe for being self righteous forever and never know what I’m capable of.

aMerePeppercorn · 2022-01-08T13:41:31+00:00

These comments are all intriguing!! It’s hard for our personal situations and experience not color our views. For anyone interested in learning more about these things from an objective, science-based perspective, check out “Evolution of Desire” by David Buss. It’s FASCINATING.

Gattsama · 2022-01-09T07:17:01+00:00

Well this went sideways quickly. Here's the bottom line, everyone is an individual but there are recurring traits among certain groups. One of which is women changing after marriage, hence the OP question.

And the answer to is YES a LOT of women do change after marriage. That's not anti-women it's a demonstrable statement of fact. A lot is not all, which is also true.

To ignore the huge amount of evidence and sweep it all under the incel, or anti-women, or some other label is just trying to use shaming language to ignore the OP question.

My wife in fact did NOT change much after the wedding. Prior to the wedding she blamed me for everything that is wrong in the relationship, for not protecting her, not considering her feelings and generally being a pile of s&it. AFTER the wedding she continued to do. So there you go, a counter example.

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