Watched the new episode of And Just Like That. No spoilers, but Miranda and Steve continue to go back and forth about their marriage and Steve says straight out Miranda has been waffling about whether he's good enough for her or not their whole relationship. That's the truth because Steve is what happens when you settle. He was a bartender, a drunken one night stand that Miranda met in a bar after a fight with Carrie. He kept chasing Miranda until she agreed to date him.
They dated but he broke up with her because she was high-flying Harvard-educated attorney with a lifestyle he couldn't afford. He orbited around though until she took him back out of boredom and loneliness. He asked for exclusivity but Miranda said to Carrie, "I'm not dating anyone else but I'm so ambivalent about Steve...What if someone better comes along?" Steve said he loved her and asked to move in, Miranda agreed and it seemed like love. Until he moved in to her gorgeous apartment and started leaving skid marks on his underwear-when she was kind enough to do his laundry. He acted like a helpless child, watching cartoons and getting a puppy while she did all the work. She said to him, "I'm sick of being the adult, we're supposed to be equals! I want a partner. I'm tired of being the mom!" She broke up with him with those words. Very FDS. But trying to be the Cool Girl, she let him orbit some more. Long story short, Steve got testicular cancer and was left with one ball. Miranda had pity sex with him and got pregnant. Miranda was afraid she would never get pregnant again being reproductively challenged, so she had the baby, tying her to Steve for life. They finally married when the baby was one and she takes on all responsibility in his life, including his mother with dementia.
Outside of sex, Miranda was never excited about Steve but she was afraid. Afraid of never getting married and having kids, afraid of not keeping up with her friends. So she settled. And 17 years later, her husband is still the same guy she was ambivalent about-a guy with a high school education and no real hobbies, who wants to sit around and watch tv every night. In other words, exactly who he was when they dated. Miranda is still growing. She was a lawyer, but is now getting a master's in Public Policy. She's well-travelled, well-read, ambitious, and bold and she has a circle of friends who are just the same and her husband in a Brooklynite who has probably never travelled further than New Jersey.
I think Miranda is excited about Che, but really I think she's just so bored with Steve she'd be equally excited by any real adult. This should be inspiration to every FDS lady to never settle. I know, things can look bleak. And Steve seemed like a good enough guy for a long time. After Miranda left him for trying to make her Mommy Bangmaid, he levelled up, opened his own bar, developed a little ambition. He was a good father when their child was born. And it was the early 2000s, I don't think women had realized they deserved more than that collectively yet. So she married him and she's still paying for it. Hold out, ladies. Miranda has said she'd rather be alone at this point. While most women aren't having a big late-in-life queer affair, I think most women in their 50s or above are tired of their husbands. Tired of the routine of marriage to someone they were probably never all that excited about.
Remember ladies, sex fades. We do absolutely deserve earth-shattering sex with our committed partners, but it should not be the foundation of the relationship. Miranda's relationship with Steve was built on sex and sustained with emotional anxiety she couldn't do better. Instead of trying or being content alone, she tried to make sex enough. And so she was trapped with a man she had little in common with, not background, interests, values. Just a child and a life. Do the work now or you'll have to pay later.
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