What is your personal definition of “cheating” in a relationship?

LittleDragonMaiden · 2022-03-22T15:00:01+00:00

To me, cheating is doing anything intimate with another person outside of our relationship that we didn’t both agree about. For example, secretly meeting up with a girl and having sex with her without my permission is cheating. Having my blessing to pursue a specific woman wouldn’t be cheating. Even if it’s emotional intimacy it’s still cheating if it’s without my knowledge or agreement.

Barely-moral · 2022-03-22T15:03:23+00:00

Any physical contact that exceeds what is expected from societal expectations from aquaintances and particular circumstances is considered cheating.

Emotional cheating is also cheating.

Emotional cheating involves confiding into someone else any information not disclosed to your partner, confiding information that is/should be a secret between you and your partner, participating in romantic activities or in activites charged with a romantic tone even if not romantic on their own with someone other than your partner.

philomexa · 2022-03-22T15:50:25+00:00

Its cheating if he sticks his penis/finger/whatever in another person's orifice without my consent, and/or he develops romantic intimacy with another person.

2022-03-22T16:07:37+00:00

breaking the agreed upon boundaries of our relationship. Aside from the basic stuff like don't fuck or kiss other people, we have our own rules we decided about things that work within our comfort zones. Basic catch-all is "If you feel inclined to hide what you're doing, or aren't sure if I would be okay with it or not, just ask and we can talk about it". We have some other specific things we've talked about like our rules on watching porn, emotional affairs etc. but all of that is specifically for us and what we decided works best.

Initial_Chemical7121 · 2022-03-22T16:29:35+00:00

Sex, flirting, soliciting, buying any kind of porn, strip clubs.

Yukbghhjj · 2022-03-22T16:02:09+00:00

Flirting is cheating. Going to a strip club is cheating. I’ve seen tons of posts where women say feeling up some nearly naked male stripper is totally fine in a relationship unless explicitly stated otherwise nah fuck outta here that’s bs. Grinding up on another man or doing any type of sexual dance with another man? That’s cheating

-ShesACarnival- · 2022-03-22T15:00:31+00:00

i dont liek the word "cheating" because it implies there are rules you set up that can then be gamed into various things not "really being cheating"

i divide it into infidelit-OUS behavior--behavior that isnt really infidelity yet but is sort of an unfaithfulness of the spirit. looking at porn, going to strip clubs, leering at other women, flirtign at work. while traditionally in christendom these things have actually been considered infidelity (not keeping faith with your spouse in your heart) in the modern world women basically have to accept them even thought they feel icky and cheat-y

and infidelit-Y. infidelity is the arising of any "emotional affair" in which love/chemistry is inspired or an actual sexual encounter/affair. if you have formed deep chemistry with another person but just havent cheated yet, thats infidelity to me

Packerschic1999 · 2022-03-22T15:08:18+00:00

The definition will be different for every person. For me: it’s physically doing something (kissing, going on a date, having sex) with someone without my consent/knowledge.

What I don’t consider cheating: strip clubs, porn, flirting with other women, checking people out. Don’t care about my guy sleeping with someone else as long as I get to sleep with her too. 😉

baresquad · 2022-03-22T15:26:19+00:00

I’m non-monogamous so sex is fine. Cheating to me is emotionally. When that person substitute the bond you two had to share with somebody else

Smitten_Squire · 2022-03-22T17:55:55+00:00

It starts with he/she being alone with someone of the opposite sex. Like if a girl meets up with a straight male. Ect

SmarmyPapsmears · 2022-03-22T18:07:56+00:00

Genitals touching or talks of genitals touching. Or talks of dating (IE emotional cheating)

ruboyuri · 2022-03-22T15:15:13+00:00

Engaging in sexual acts, either remotely or in person

Flirting/soliciting is not cheating

screenshot_the_nfts · 2022-03-22T18:36:14+00:00

Hugging isnt cheating. Kissing a male from her close family on cheek not cheating, not from her close family, cheating. Kissing anyone not me on mouth is cheating. Watching porn in any circumstance is cheating. Participating in any sexual activity that is not exclusively with me (threesome etc) is cheating. I expect my partner to not go to places or activities that could incentivise her to cheat (bars clubs etc, especially without me, and especially with 'friends' who well and truly belong to the streets). This goes both ways of course, i wont do these things in a relationship. Also these are my opinions, yours may differ. I think most men would agree with me

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houstongradengineer · 2022-03-22T14:57:39+00:00

is a Woman “cheating” on a guy if she is consuming “Romanic” content such as Hallmark movies. Is there a difference?

Sex is a thing where watching is a form of participation. If a man wants to keep asking questions like "well how close can I get to participating in sexual things with other live people" he probably shouldn't be monogomous. If a man happens upon some content or gets really desperate in long distance, it's kinda shitty but it can maybe be forgiven especially with how low-effort and low-meaning it is in this day and age. It can be forgiven if the guy wants to change and be monogomous fully.

The amount of effort and meaning into a friendship also determines whether or not it's a problem. If you're putting equal effort into a friend and a partner, you have 2 partners- whether both are physical or not.

wtknight · 2022-03-22T15:30:30+00:00

Physical intimacy. I don’t care about that emotional cheating stuff.

sarkington · 2022-03-22T15:35:43+00:00

Acts of personal sexual gratification, whether online or in real life

Porn is not cheating, unless the porn is made by the actor at your specific request, and directed towards your viewing

januaryphilosopher · 2022-03-22T18:34:23+00:00

Unless stated otherwise it has to be physical, kissing or anything beyond that, outside of outright asking them out while not breaking up with the first person. I don't really think "emotional cheating" is a thing, if you have a crush on someone else then you're not doing anything wrong if you don't act on it.

M3taBuster · 2022-03-22T18:50:05+00:00

The definition of cheating is pretty cut and dry: sexual contact with someone other than your partner. However, there are a ton of things short of actual cheating that are reasonable grounds for terminating a relationship, such as "emotional cheating" (doing romantically charged activities), going to strip clubs, some would say even just hugging opposite sex friends, etc. This is where it starts to become more subjective and dependent on each particular couple.

KirthWGersen · 2022-03-22T19:08:10+00:00

Cheating is whatever you think it is. People create all kinds of rules for other people that are destined to make them miserable.

In five decades, I have never cheated and no-one has ever cheated on me. It's easy: simply don't promise exclusivity.

tired_hillbilly · 2022-03-22T19:44:23+00:00

If it's up to me, I don't think porn is cheating, so long as it doesn't get in the way. But if my SO disagrees and thinks it is cheating, that's fine too. Same with "romantic" content like hallmark movies. As long as we both have the same standard here, I am fine with whatever that standard is.

Touching others beyond routine manners-related stuff like handshakes = cheating.

Confiding in members of the opposite sex = cheating.

Flirting = cheating. A spicy joke here or there is fine, but there's a line somewhere where it stops seeming like good fun and starts seeming dangerous.

Reisiluu · 2022-03-22T20:32:05+00:00

Sexual interaction with someone else is cheating. Interaction is the key word here. Recordings and pictures don't count, unless you interact with someone to get them.

Emotional cheating is when you start to confide in someone else more than you do in your partner and there is a romantic or sexual element present in your interactions.

iamprosciutto · 2022-03-22T21:08:06+00:00

Nothing sensual or sexual that I didn't specifically condone. No allowing openings for other dudes to pursue or woo, i.e. complaining about our relationship or sex life, asking for unnecessary favors, putting me down. No innuendos or direct sexual flirting with other guys. Crushes need to be controlled, and the person should be avoided if feelings are growing or intense. I expect to be the first guy called for help or fun, sexual or otherwise. Basically just don't pursue other guys and try to keep them from pursuing you if they're interested. Watch all the giant dick gangbang porn you want. Read all the erotic literature you want. Use whatever toys you want. Just don't do something with someone that would hurt me. Cheating comes from lying and violation.

My partner is bisexual, so we have dipped our feet into polygyny after she told me she "wants to sleep with a woman" during a period of self-discovery, but they're always exclusively with the goal of eventually being shared between us. She shows me pictures on OLD and tells me when she flirts with ladies. We have come close, but no successes beyond dates yet. Both of us are excited, but neither of us are in a huge rush for it. It just has to feel right.

acornfroggie · 2022-03-22T23:47:03+00:00

Doing anything that should be saved for your s/o. Emotional cheating is when you have romantic feelings. Porn is cheating because he's lusting after the actresses (if he's not doing that, then it's probably not cheating).

Coolio_Street_Racer · 2022-03-23T03:09:05+00:00

When the other person has sex with someone else behind my back.

flirting, tinder, entertaining people who are trying to fuck you. It's disrespectful. Compounded enough is grounds for a breakup without cheating.

Hereforthememes5 · 2022-03-23T05:33:29+00:00

I think basically anything you wouldn’t want your partner to find out about because you know it would hurt them. If you have to hide it, you probably shouldn’t be doing it. Our conscience for the most part is usually a good guide.

ChibsFilipTelfordd · 2022-03-23T07:39:27+00:00

My ex was messaging a co worker questionable things, lying by omission about seeing him (e.g. "I'm going to hang out with Brittney" when he was also going to be there), telling him things she didn't tell me (found out via snooping her phone) etc.

I consider that cheating even though I have no evidence even from the snooping that anything physical took place. Very well may could have, but I can't say.

P.s. he was much less attractive than me, he was just a higher position seniority wise than my ex and I think that was the cause. And he was "cooler" in terms of his peers. I have a lot of friends but I'm not "cool" so to speak

SwimmingTheme3736 · 2022-03-23T13:14:04+00:00

It depends on the relationship

My ex would get funny and accuse me of cheating if I spoke to make co workers.

My husband and I have different boundaries which we were adult enough to sit and discuss when we became serious

churron12 · 2022-03-24T14:34:02+00:00

Any sexual desire towards a person that isnt me

EasternToe3824 · 2022-03-26T14:15:41+00:00

One indicator for me is if you feel the need to keep it secret, you cheat.

ladgen1 · 2022-06-09T18:27:18+00:00

emotional cheating is whenever you could replace someone for your partner and it would make your partner uncomfortable. so like begging a friend to come visit your city and tell your partner that they just happened to be visiting

Over_Noise3530 · 2022-03-23T02:37:11+00:00

If his Snapchat score keeps rising we have a problem. I might still fuck him but I would never take him seriously, move in with him, etc

Title	What is your personal definition of “cheating” in a relationship?
Author	Visible-Doughnut-782
Upvotes	0
Comments	107
Date	March 22, 2022 2:49 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/tk4oq3/what_is_your_personal_definition_of_cheating_in_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-is-your-personal-definition-of-cheating-in-a.1108087 https://theredarchive.com/post/1108087

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