She left yesterday.

YeTuMamaTambien · 2022-06-10T22:24:22+00:00

Sounds like some sort of scare tactic. This type emotional terrorism is a common abuse tactic to simply get their way.. was their some sort of recent conflict? If so the it is likely she is using this as tactic. You should take this as an extreme red flag of Course that you are married to an ill person. The crisis may pass or it may end in an immediate filing… either way your next step should be to contact an attorney.. do not wait. Do it.

smitty537 · 2022-06-10T22:59:18+00:00

Stop trying to get in touch with her. Get a good attorney. She abandoned you and your son you should be able to get 100% custody.

idiot_trader199x · 2022-06-10T22:03:27+00:00

If you were married you get a lawyer and start the divorce process. You take care of your son.

Addition_Radiant · 2022-06-10T22:14:48+00:00

Read through all the things not to do. I wish I did early on

dogsrule2019 · 2022-06-11T02:47:07+00:00

Hate to say it but there's prob someone else. Or, she's suffering mental health issues. You have to take care of you and your son. Start the divorce NOW.

yeldellmedia · 2022-06-10T23:01:53+00:00

Lawyer up immediately…. Go for full custody and child support

Gxl4 · 2022-06-11T03:40:10+00:00

It sucks. Yes. But you need to start thinking logically going forward. Doing the “pick me,pick me dance” and blowing up her phone will only get you a harassment claim at best.

We know it sucks, but lawyer up, and get it done. A mom that leaves her kid behind.. bet she “nEeDS sOmE sPaCe” … need any bigger red flag?

Record everything is the state allowes that. And when she comes back from where she came from. Make sure you cant get the “whupsie, i’m pregnant” talk. Do not sleep with her going forward.

Idaho2A · 2022-06-10T23:51:29+00:00

I know it has been a short amount of time. But you NEED to take care of yourself. As you said, you are now a single dad. It might not end up that way but you need to plan for it. Right now your son only has one parent, and of you don’t take care of yourself he will have none. Eat even if you can’t, force it down. Go lay in bed when you usually go to bed, even if it takes hours to fall asleep you will probably get an hour or two in the end.

You need to talk to a lawyer and a therapist.

onthisthing_ · 2022-06-10T23:38:14+00:00

Document everything and get a lawyer. Games and feelings are costly. Focus on your child, get your mental right and prepare for battle. Many have gone before you and we’re still standing. It’ll be a long road but gotta man-up. You got this.

akihonj · 2022-06-11T06:14:54+00:00

What do you do.

You change the locks, bag her shit and leave it for her. Contact a lawyer and file that she's abandoned you both. Start child support claims and file for divorce.

That what you do, grieve the end of the relationship later but act now.

It really doesn't matter if this is some tactic to get her way, if this is some brain fart that she's using to get space, it's truly unacceptable to just walk out like that man or woman.

Spodee5 · 2022-06-11T04:17:46+00:00

First question for the lawyer how quick can we file. Second question how soon can I change the locks.

eyesayhello · 2022-06-10T23:02:32+00:00

Start lining up a nanny or babysitter to help. Get the divorce going ASAP and find out what her intentions are with custody (whether she wants 50/50 or for you to have full). I did it with 3 young kids. Wasn't easy but definitely my best years with my kids. This can turn out very positive if you work it right.

Step one is get a good lawyer and get the ball rolling. Her just abandoning you, your son, and the house will help you a lot.

Spodee5 · 2022-06-11T04:06:48+00:00

Stop trying to contact her she will accuse you of harassment.....mine did and they were vanilla texts and emails about health and dental care for the kids. Get a lawyer. Take care of your kid above everything. You are in an amazing situation as far as getting parenting time. Go to the gym, get a therapist. Start a new hobby. It's gut wrenching. I'm sorry. My heart goes out to you man.

monster_dutson · 2022-06-10T23:01:56+00:00

Get an attorney and prepare for war.

MartyMcFly7 · 2022-06-10T23:07:49+00:00

That's rough; sorry you're going through that right now but it will get better.

Any chance she panicked at the thought of becoming even more tied down?

Women sometimes act on emotion and need space (both to feel autonomous/independent and to have time to miss you). If she changed her mind that quickly, she's likely acting on emotion.

The best advice I could give you is to just give her the gift of missing you (and her son).

When someone is asking for space, you have to give it to them. She's going to do whatever she's going to do, but your best chance of getting her back is to leave her alone. If you chase her (with millions of texts and calls) she will only feel more suffocated and feel the need to run. (Women are like cats, if you chase them, they run away. It has to be their decision to come to you.)

Just one message telling her you care and you're willing to talk should be enough. When she stops hearing from you, she won't feel the pressure and will start to become curious (about you and her son). She can't miss you if you're always in her face and she can't be curious if you're always telling her what's going on.

Pheliont · 2022-06-11T03:33:17+00:00

This is eerily familiar, minus having the kids already. My ex wife and I were talking about trying to have kids and looking at houses, did pretty the same thing.

While I hope the rest of our stories are different, the only advice I can offer is stop trying to pursue her, give her the space. Whatever she chooses, she chooses. But you need to take care of you and your kid.

maxesales · 2022-06-11T08:27:25+00:00

Google Apex Mindset on youtube & take the red pill. It’s time to wake up…be the man your son needs from you now.

divorcedredeemed · 2022-06-17T18:26:48+00:00

It's been a few days. Has she reached back to you? Counseling and therapy for you both. If she doesn't participate, you have to figure out when you are done trying. Only then should you start the divorce process. But you have to be completely done! Godspeed.

BurnDownTheMission68 · 2022-06-11T12:08:15+00:00

She has another man

Mountain_Split_2381 · 2022-06-11T04:55:11+00:00

This is tough. #1 go to your Pastor or local church and vent on what is going on. Yes, people do strange things in life of which many times it remains unfair to explain. May the Lord Restore her mind to clarity! I mean man, your adorable son loves you and he alone is your utmost # 1 energy to avoid sin towards his mother. I discovered that my son's mother was a total tramp. Lied and gave me countless false hopes until PI told me todooooooo.

Again pray and go to church man. Or if not simply listen to "Above Inspiration" on YouTube

Fyfel · 2022-06-11T01:22:36+00:00

My ex wife and I were actively trying to have another kid up until the day she left as well. It’s such a mind fuck I know how you must feel.

Be there for your son. Give it a couple days before you do anything. Definitely stop calling her out trying to reach her, she knows your number and where you live she’ll be in Touch ID she wants to. In the mean time surround yourself with loved ones.

rakedbdrop · 2022-06-11T01:26:22+00:00

Wow bro. Keep your head up. This isn’t going to be easy, but… I 100% promise you it’ll be Ok. Just… be mindful of your feelings… don’t let them control you.

pegleg_legal · 2022-06-11T02:49:57+00:00

Get some support to take care of the kid and just deal with it. There’s no getting her back if she doesn’t come willingly and sending millions of messages and calling will have the opposite effect. Hold on bro - give it a few days. Sometimes people just freak out when they see their future - like a midlife crisis.

Kwen_Oellogg · 2022-06-11T04:30:47+00:00

Read the attached postingfrom u/pegleg_legal. He has a lot of good advice.

rsmiley77 · 2022-06-11T10:59:01+00:00

You asked ‘what do I do?’ So here’s what I’d do…

1) stop calling and texting and reaching out to her. Obviously don’t have any physical contact. 2) change locks and garage code. Make sure she cannot just show up next week acting like nothing happened. 3) take her name off all your accounts 4) reach out to a representative of her family (parents, siblings) and inform them what she has done. Send them the text and simply tell them while you are concerned you will not be reaching out to her and that, at the least, before you’ll allow her back in your son and your lives she’ll need counseling. 5) contact a lawyer and start working on a retainer. If both your names are on the home/rental make sure you mention to attorney. Last thing you want is her putting a restraining order on you and having you kicked out.

thefudmaster · 2022-06-11T12:45:57+00:00

File for custody immediately and change the locks. She’s fucking someone else and you never give the cheater a second chance. One chance. Per person. Per lifetime.

dadavedavid · 2022-06-11T13:14:33+00:00

Get a lawyer immediately.

mfolivas · 2022-06-11T18:10:18+00:00

Hesitation, overthinking, and holding to the illusion of the past will only delay the inevitable. You can never be right for the wrong person. People that love you don't do this type of shit. I'm speaking from experience bro. Take this as a direct indication that your marriage is over and follow through with it.

4rdfun · 2022-06-11T19:34:56+00:00

Count your blessings, me ex is trying to take the kids from me.

xadmin1 · 2022-06-17T15:16:24+00:00

She sounds like she has borderline

xadmin1 · 2022-06-17T15:16:44+00:00

She sounds like she has borderline

Title	She left yesterday.
Author	idiot_trader199x
Upvotes	17
Comments	79
Date	June 10, 2022 9:56 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/v9in0b/she_left_yesterday/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/she-left-yesterday.1116491 https://theredarchive.com/post/1116491

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