[Q4W] Women of PPD, when did you know you wanted to have sex with a man? What made you feel that way?

2022-05-30T06:14:43+00:00

When he's talking to me. I can see him from across the room and feel absolutely nothing, but have that switch as soon as he interacts and flirts with me.

Novadina · 2022-05-30T02:58:34+00:00

Usually takes me a few dates. I have to feel comfortable enough being naked in front of them, and feel a “chemistry” between us, that escalates - like first I want to kiss them, then if that’s good I want to touch them, etc etc. As to “what made you feel that way” - I’d guess biology? I assume I have an instinct to mate, perhaps even there is a pheromone thing going on relating to genetic variety, and personality “clicking” is probably a good check for being able to bond.

bruzysuzy · 2022-05-30T03:09:35+00:00

I can sense the raw physical attraction instantly.

But I need to see how he is socially, I need to feel comfortable and connected to him before I want to have sex.

mavis_03 · 2022-05-30T03:13:12+00:00

This thread should be required reading for men on reddit. So much confusion about how attraction works for women, and why we don't want to jump on every attractive man right away (or they just assume we do, hence the Chad thing).

2022-05-30T03:06:59+00:00

Usually after I felt comfortable with him, there’s been some flirtation, and some tension has built up.

DorianneGrey · 2022-05-30T03:16:01+00:00

I know if I DON’T want to within a few minutes. Everyone else is a maybe until I know them pretty well. That can take weeks or more.

SadAndMadGal · 2022-05-30T04:28:04+00:00

I can look at someone and think they're cute in like 30 secs - 5 mins, but I think it'd take me 15 mins - 1 hr of chatting/building rapport to decide if i'd hook up with them. I just need time to flirt with them and observe their mannerisms i guess? that's just me though 😬

chalkandapples · 2022-05-30T06:05:49+00:00

After 1-2 months of getting to know him. At that point I felt close enough with him to do something like that.

EulenWatcher · 2022-05-30T06:14:35+00:00

Not sure my answer will help you, because my husband and I started being intimate a few months after we started dating. But we both were virgins and I think we'd have sex earlier if we weren't. I knew I wanted to have sex with him a few weeks after we started dating, but neither wanted to rush things.

I've never got to the point of wanting to have sex with any other man, so that's the only timeframe I can give you.

2022-05-30T11:10:40+00:00

The desire is very immediate. I'm a horny bastard, so I just wanna sex all the ppl lmao. That being said, the simple desire to fuck gets overridden by all of my common sense and personal values. So I require commitment, a feeling of safety, all that mushy shit to actually allow myself the pleasure. But just wanting to fuck a guy? Doesn't take a lot and I'm not very picky either. Decent looking? Has dick? I'm in a good mood? dtf.

Of course that's talking about pre relationship. I've been in a relationship for a while. If I've got the desire for sex, I rlly only think about my bf.

ChessClubChick · 2022-05-30T11:45:25+00:00

He was tall, visible cheeckbones, slim to athletic, good personality.

neolib-cowboy · 2022-05-30T15:37:43+00:00

I know almost instantly. It’s all about attraction. My boyfriend is pretty attractive dude and I was ready the day we met, but he insisted on us waiting after a couple dates.

cowfishAreReal · 2022-05-30T03:01:27+00:00

After I was already dating him. It was both of our first times

SwimmingTheme3736 · 2022-05-30T05:24:26+00:00

There has to be a connection, I don’t care how good looking you are if your boring it’s not happening

KikiYuyu · 2022-05-30T03:56:18+00:00

My heart's gotta flutter in a very specific way. I gotta be having dreamy sighs during the day. It has to be much more than lust, but also an emotional craving.

Lysa_Bell · 2022-05-30T10:39:16+00:00

we talked for a bit and he made me laugh
I saw him on the train and he had these pretty eyes
we talked for month and I felt safe with him
he gave a lecture about a topic I'm very interested and he was laughing and passionate talking about the topic
we made eye contact and both smiled at the same time
we were talking all evening and he put his hand on my arm while continuing talking
he was making a joke for a making off video I was filming
he was completely focused on a project he was working on and the light just hit his face perfectly
he made a ridiculously sarcastic social comment that made me giggle
he was lifting something heavy on a shelf and his shirt rode up a bit
he brought me my favourite chocolate without me even asking and he didn't comment on it
we went swimming together and he was holding my hand

Basically in all of these instances and many more I get a little flutter in my uterus and it makes my knees weak. Does that mean I had sex with these men in these moments? Mostly no. But it sparked the longing for him and the images of sex with him started popping in my head.

BlackPorcelainDoll · 2022-05-30T13:33:03+00:00

High self-confidence.
Cocky in his sex appeal and sexual prowess.
Extremely sensual with his body and lusty with his mind.
Wore Cologne.
Good exposed muscular chest for me to touch.
Eye contact.
Initiated kissing; kissed sensually.
Direct communicator. Blunt speaker.
Experienced - high n-count.
Let me initiate physical touch first.
Told me he was going to make me squirt.
I told him to prove it.
He did.

SignalThanks6766 · 2022-05-30T08:48:53+00:00

I’ve had sex with 5 men so I’ll break it down.

After knowing him for decade and he started to cuddle me.
I didn’t want to. Don’t know why I did it. Low self esteem? Drunkenness?
when he kissed me (about 20 minutes into meeting him)
when he kissed me (about 5 minutes into meeting him)
when he took my hand in his (3 years after meeting him)

What I’ve learned from this breakdown is my sexuality is pretty reactive. If you flirt hard enough with me and I’m single, then you’re probably getting sex if you try to escalate. If you don’t flirt and don’t escalate, it’s not happening. I don’t see guys and think “I’d fuck them if they asked”. They have to make me think they want to fuck me.

mandoa_sky · 2022-05-30T05:40:08+00:00

when i can feel that i can emotionally trust him (and that he's the considerate type)

and is hygenic (clean) and I kinda think he's somewhat physically attractive

i'm the very slow to attraction type so it takes a while for me. basically comfort for me is a big deal for attraction.

Katatonicsnake · 2022-05-30T10:43:28+00:00

The most important thing is whether I want to have sex with anyone at that moment. If I don’t, there’s nothing he can do. Seeing isn’t enough anyway, there has to be charisma and something special in a man for me to want them in that way.

Purple-Belt5910 · 2022-05-30T17:47:09+00:00

I never look at men and think about sex even if he is model attractive or “chad”. I don’t have casual sex either. I only develop sexual/romantic feelings after getting to know them and seeing they are invested into having a relationship. If there’s no mental/emotional bond then chances are I’m not going to like the sex. So this could take weeks/months to develop.

sweetestpineapple · 2022-05-31T01:07:16+00:00

The sexual attraction is usually there at first glance. If he’s not just some stranger and someone I’ll see again I’ll probably fantasize about him. The more I get to know him the stronger that attraction will grow but it’s always there on some level from the start.

ppd_reject · 2022-05-30T04:56:36+00:00

After a short time of looking and interacting with him. There might many circumstances that could make me decide against it, but my sex switch turns on pretty fast. It feels like getting high without the nasty side effects of actual drugs.

What makes me want to bed a guy is a combination of looks and certain mannerisms that are hard to describe over the internet.

I've also bedded men I'm not crazy about. That happened when I were single, horny and the opportunity arose. These aren't men I think of when I'm not interacting with them.

Siukslinis_acc · 2022-05-30T03:26:53+00:00

Never felt it, so dunno.

januaryphilosopher · 2022-05-30T09:20:43+00:00

I thought I'd have sex with him eventually before I was comfortable actually doing it. Neither of us thought about sex for several months after meeting, and it was just a continuation of all the features of each other that made us want to date - personality and connection which made us notice looks and physicality as a secondary feature.

briiiana1122 · 2022-05-30T15:11:49+00:00

Depends on the person but generally if there is initial attraction based on the way he looks there is a consideration there. Interacting in person makes the actual difference, and the context like is this this date, is this a new person I meet in some social location or whatever other way we’ve met, and most importantly do I feel the flirtation and interest.

The timeline isn’t the same for every person. I’ve never decided within .5 seconds though. Just the way he looks isn’t enough information for me to want to have sex with someone so it’s going to be more time based on just that factor.

2022-05-30T16:19:15+00:00

I know within five seconds. After that, he just needs to make sure he doesnt say or do anything stupid.

ruboyuri · 2022-05-30T16:52:05+00:00

Mutual attraction + lack of red flags

Is this really that difficult to understand?

itscoldupheredude · 2022-05-30T23:12:57+00:00

2 hours into meeting him, it was just a vibe and we had sex 3 hours into meeting each other ( we’ve also been dating for like a year and a half now )

clarbg · 2022-05-31T03:59:54+00:00

When I find one I'm attracted to.

Sophiatab · 2022-06-01T00:24:28+00:00

Right after we had signed our marriage license and turned it into the clerk, I had the overwhelming urge to carry out all of my masturbatory fantasies with my husband.

sarkington · 2022-05-30T04:36:12+00:00

I was single, he was interested and he didn’t repulse me. That didn’t mean I actually did sleep with them, mind you

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Title	[Q4W] Women of PPD, when did you know you wanted to have sex with a man? What made you feel that way?
Author	neolib-cowboy
Upvotes	18
Comments	95
Date	May 30, 2022 12:05 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/v0nrsm/q4w_women_of_ppd_when_did_you_know_you_wanted_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4w-women-of-ppd-when-did-you-know-you-wanted-to.1118076 https://theredarchive.com/post/1118076

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