What personality traits are important to you when it comes to dating?

hungrychick404 · 2022-11-23T17:24:34+00:00

I like people who aren’t afraid to simp so I can simp back

CruelAngelGradThesis · 2022-11-23T18:23:23+00:00

Warmth, kindness, gentleness, patience, intelligence

northernlights190 · 2022-11-23T18:00:38+00:00

Chill and very laid-back, that’s a big one. I don’t like very assertive, dominant or aggressive men, all the guys I like are pretty quiet and chill and kind of gentle. Intellectual curiosity, empathy, dry humour.

Someone who really likes to talk for long periods of time (not just at me, I mean someone who just really enjoys super long conversations). Someone who is emotionally open and can easily discuss and navigate difficult feelings in words.

Someone who generally treats people well and tries to live up to his own values.

_demidevil_ · 2022-11-23T18:26:03+00:00

Authenticity is the thing I value the most. Can’t stand fake people.

learn2earn89 · 2022-11-23T17:17:07+00:00

Quieter and doesn’t like to be the center of attention

Open minded but not so open minded that they like weird sexual stuff and hard drugs.

Curious about the bigger questions in life.

Family oriented and he will have to like my family, otherwise it won’t work.

Liberal leaning but not extreme in either direction.

Good sense of humor (he doesn’t have to be funny, just want him to be a little silly sometimes and to find things funny often)

I don’t have a lot of time to write more in detail but this is what came to my brain.

Treacle-Flimsy · 2022-11-23T17:36:55+00:00

Intelligence and openness. I'm a man and I've had a moderate success in dating in the last three weeks. It just hit me that I don't give a f if a girl is hot or whatever, I just felt more comfortable and more attracted to a girl that is actually can hold a convo and can share her piece of mind on something, rather than a hot chick that thinks she's a center of the world. And openness of course, because without it you will bump into smart but obnoxious women.

renfsu · 2022-11-23T18:11:36+00:00

Emotionally supportive. You never realize how important positivity is until you come from work venting about your coworker and she rubs your shoulder, telling you to forget about it and worry about the future.

Introvert. Sorry but my experience with extrovert women is very poor. The girl who has to go out all the time will meet way more people who she can potentially replace you with.

Agreeable. If we argue, you have to be willing to compromise. There's no "my way or the highway" because I'm very used to driving on highways

CimZim · 2022-11-23T17:14:50+00:00

Patient, empathetic, kind to both me and other people (no being rude to service people!). Share similar interests, hobbies, love of musicals, and sense of humor. Be able to keep up with me in conversations since tangents are frequent, lol. Honest with his feelings and expectations, likes and dislikes, extremely important. Edit: I forgot feminine/passive, also quite important for me.

EulenWatcher · 2022-11-23T17:15:35+00:00

When I was single I was looking for someone who I’d be compatible and feel safe with. I wanted to find someone who had similar liberal views on social issues and egalitarian approach to relationships, who was kind, consistent with their morals and had some plans on the future they were working on. Someone who could open up and be vulnerable with me and be there for me when I needed them. A person with shared interest and who I could talk with for hours or be comfortable being together in silence. Intelligent and well-read, I wouldn’t stand someone who was an anti-vaxx or couldn’t discuss fiction/non-fiction with me at all.

My husband has all of these traits. He does have some leftovers of traditional gender norms that he confirms to, like performing chivalry or thinking that our safety is only his concern, while also not being proactive about his own health so I have to take care of it, but I get that it’s impossible not to get affected by gender roles when you were raised in a rather traditional family setting. I don’t really mind it, the core of our marriage is egalitarian - we make plans together and share responsibility and chores so we both have free time.

pronouns-king-lord · 2022-11-23T17:21:39+00:00

Loyalty, respect, intelligences and understanding. i would rather date a 7/10 than 9/10 because super attractive people fall back on their looks and tend to not devolve themselves.

Repulsive-Cupcake505 · 2022-11-23T17:45:41+00:00

Speaks another language besides English, I love learning new languages and speaking in them with a partner. Current girlfriend is Chinese, for example.

Adventurous, open minded, likes spicy food, not masculine or domineering

GodMasol · 2022-11-23T17:49:10+00:00

Hmm

Someone outspoken.

Someone blunt and honest but not pessimistic.

Someone who knows how to provide feedback.

Playful in a serious way, serious in a playful way.

Someone who notices very faint details.

Someone who knows how to compliment.

noafrochamplusamurai · 2022-11-23T18:08:53+00:00

Elasticity of thought, being able to accept new information.

Active Hunger to learn new things

Multifaceted

Having a social life that coexists independently of my presence in your life ( to me, lacking this is a black flag)

The way you treat service industry workers, animals,and children if you're a parent, or an aunt.

Dark sense of humor is required

The ability to go with the flow, tempered with ability to stand your ground.

PMmeareasontolive · 2022-11-23T18:32:45+00:00

Does she laugh at my jokes? Or do I laugh at her jokes?

That's been a good indicator that she is going to either "get me" or give me the benefit of the doubt often enough.

It's not totally essential though.

teethpeach · 2022-11-23T19:12:20+00:00

ideal qualities: doesn’t take himself too seriously, goofy/funny, responsible/proactive when he needs to be, & adores me

Hardcore_Troubadour_ · 2022-11-23T19:18:07+00:00

Intelligence, eloquence, opinionated, loyalty, conscientiousness, independence, patience, sympathy and empathy all come to mind. Been together for 13, married for 9. She has everything I want in a partner and wife.

5hakeit0ff · 2022-11-23T17:13:24+00:00

Charm

HaymakerGirl2025 · 2022-11-23T17:24:16+00:00

Optimism. Fiscally conservative. Emotionally stable.

rft24 · 2022-11-23T17:37:07+00:00

the qualities i wanted in a spouse i did get in my partner.

he’s masculine, intelligent, confident, daring, dominant, logical, very honest, and mature (especially emotionally). he naturally leads and takes charge in any situation. he studies/works in stem and finance. he’s a huge nerd and loves math. i tease him a lot for having old man/dad energy lol, but i like it. i like how he chooses to spend his time.

he’s loyal, romantic, attentive, patient, gentle (with me 😅), sweet, caring, protective. he’s very present for me emotionally and makes time for us to talk every single day. he makes an effort to speak my love languages. he’s really communicative, especially about his feelings for me, which i appreciate. i love that i never have to question where i stand with him.

we have the relationship dynamic i’ve always wanted with a man. our core values align, and we want the same things out of life. we have very similar tastes and similar communication styles. we’re very close, and i love that we’re really good friends. i love that even when we have little spats or get upset at one another, there’s no toxicity or yelling. we add both tangible and intangible value to each other’s lives.

the main reason i decided to marry him is because i feel like no matter what happens in life or what stressors come up, we’ll always be really good friends and respect each other.

Siukslinis_acc · 2022-11-23T17:45:19+00:00

Compatability?

localmicrodosechamp · 2022-11-23T18:34:31+00:00

viewing your partner as a partner during a fight and not someone you have to/want to "beat"

Bikerbats · 2022-11-23T17:26:40+00:00

Ah, Hell, I'll be honest. It takes a special woman to tolerate me on a daily basis, and I found her. I'm not easy to get along with when things are going well. I'd walk all over any woman who wouldn't stand up for herself, so it was challenging finding a woman who was tolerant, accepting, and still not a doormat.

switchretro45 · 2022-11-23T18:38:04+00:00

Personality traits that I value in a women are empathy, being romantic, having good sense of humor, being critical and analytical, optimistism, loyalty, and sweetness.

Meihuajiancai · 2022-11-23T17:10:37+00:00

Intelligence, curiosity, optimism and interest in doing things other than sitting and watching a screen. If she likes Star Trek that would be icing on the cake.

NB4, yes this is all predicated on a woman meeting my attractiveness threshold. A woman could have all those traits but if she's obese, I'm not interested.

abaxeron · 2022-11-23T18:15:50+00:00

"Don't be a bitch". I have a boss bitching at me every day at work. I have police officers, tax agents, hospital doctors, and random strangers bitching at me every morning and every evening. I had professors bitching at me in college for 8 years. I had teachers bitching at me in school for 10 years. I had parents bitching at me ever since I remember myself.

It's perfectly possible and should be expected to be greeted from work with "Hello my love, welcome home!" first and "You promised to take out the trash and forgot, it's the second time this month!" second.

JoeRMD77 · 2022-11-23T20:41:28+00:00

Just remember everything women post here is the opposite of what they want.

I_have_a_small__PP · 2022-11-23T17:22:40+00:00

Women find tall and attractive guys personality very charming.

AutoModerator · 2022-11-23T17:03:59+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Ok_Brilliant_4935 · 2022-11-23T19:09:02+00:00

Intelligent, mature, someone I can look up to and respect, calm, polite, left leaning but not extremely left, doesn't judge people with different lifestyles, doesn't have extremist views about anything, romantic and affectionate but not corny lol, knows cooking and cleaning and all basic stuff and doesn't expect a mother. I would love to cook for him everyday but it would be really nice if he cooked for me occasionally too. Basically if i fell sick , he should be able to take care of house. Dominant and aggressive in bed but sweet and romantic outside lool . Someone who doesn't argue with strangers online 😭 Agnostic/ atleast sceptical about god, secular, not super religious. Like its good to celebrate all religions festivals but not to lead your life and form your morals based on some centuries old book. Doesn't smoke or does any kind of drugs. Would prefer someone who doesn't even drink but that is probably unrealistic. Not promiscuous. Never engaged in casual sex. I'm probably looking for a unicorn 😭😭

literaryhogwartian · 2022-11-23T19:10:12+00:00

Am married. Honest in all things, genuine, kind funny, serious and able to have a good debate. A love of food and drink as well. My husband does have all of these things

chalkandapples · 2022-11-23T19:18:29+00:00

Someone that is similar to me, or at least a personality type I am used to and feel comfortable with. I don't usually judge a person's personality with a checklist, I would speak with them for a while and get a sense of how comfortable and happy I am.

If I have to put it in words something like, generally a good person (genuinely care about the wellness of other people, not just himself), rather humble, has a type of softness and kindness to them, a happy / warm person, an intelligent type of humor.

In reality it's probably a lot more little attributes rather than a few items off a checklist, that's what the dating process is for.

STEMbruski · 2022-11-23T19:26:52+00:00

Loyalty, commitment, responsibility, capable of raising children.

MrMushySauce · 2022-11-23T19:50:14+00:00

Laid back and sense of humor is so high on my list. I just constantly feel like 90% of people are too uptight for me. I have almost no filter and idk i'm just funny so I really need someone who isn't going to take that and go... "omg i need to get on his case you can't be disrespecting me like that!!!!" Like no, it's not like that, just make a joke back.

Other than that, I like being able to have intelligent conversations with nuance and just the general sense of... everything you're saying aligns. I really cannot tolerate when I'm trying to make a serious point and someone either has a non-sequitur, or starts analyzing something totally irrelevant. We don't need to agree--I see a lot of people saying like "I'm a liberal, I need a liberal!" and I hate that--I'm not looking for an echo chamber at all. I could care less what her views are. But she does need to be able to articulate her views or comment intelligently on mine.

SmilesLikeMardiGras · 2022-11-23T20:18:57+00:00

funny, aggressive, protective , dominant, sensual, masculine

Superannuatedpunk · 2022-11-23T20:35:45+00:00

Not being a self-pitying, insecure, passive-aggressive shut-in definitely helps.

DisasterPeace7 · 2022-11-23T21:10:45+00:00

Authenticity for sure , for good or bad I want the real person
Kindness, pretty self-explanatory
Agreeableness, I lead the household, I need somebody that's going to be the Pippen to my Jordan, without the weird book deals and documentaries though
Empathetic, supportive, intellectually curious, more conservative on social issues, loyal, similar sense of humor, etc.,

Been married for 8 years, and yes my wife has a majority of these traits, she's also very fucking creative which I enjoy seeing her passionate about her art, very kind and nurturing, total sweetheart unless you get on her bad side lol

M3taBuster · 2022-11-23T22:16:53+00:00

agreeable, polite, nurturing, considerate, introverted, intelligent, conscientious, responsible, honest, humble, not easily offended, compatible sense of humor (dark/edgy in particular), intellectually curious, extremely affectionate, a healthy amount of jealousy/possessiveness, protective, an independent and critical thinker, somewhat spontaneous, not depressed, politically libertarian or conservative

Podlubnyi · 2022-11-23T22:21:07+00:00

What kind of personality do you want your future spouse/partner/husband/wife/whatever to have?

Pleasant to be around, sense of humor, hard working, not a psycho, not a bitch.

Or for those who are in a relationship, what personality qualities were you looking for and does your spouse have those qualities?

Yes

AstronautLoveShack · 2022-11-23T23:22:32+00:00

There are probably others but these are important to me

Intelligence.
A sense of responsibility.
Passion - not just toward me but with regard to a hobby, his work, etc.
Humor!
A willingness to try new things and go on mini-adventures.
Kindness.
Progressive.
Not particularly religious or at least can respect my lack of religion.

JumboJetz · 2022-11-24T00:18:48+00:00

I like women that are very sexual and horny. But also very nice and polite and make jokes.

social_mule · 2022-11-24T00:25:47+00:00

What's the opposite of entitlement?

Ppdebatesomental · 2022-11-24T03:35:36+00:00

Funny. Really funny. Even tempered, fights fair, compromises

Katatonicsnake · 2022-11-24T08:29:12+00:00

Openness, love of learning, kindness, resilience.

IWillKeepYourSecret · 2022-11-24T14:37:35+00:00

Funny, likes to debate random topics, intelligent, into gaming. Someone who likes to learn and who doesn't mind talking.

ShiNoKikai · 2022-11-25T00:46:18+00:00

I look for a lot of the traits women look for in men (I'm a man btw).

Leadership, dominance, assertiveness, emotional and mental strength, courage, stoicism (that's bottom of the list but still), protectiveness, and really just masculinity in general.

And as fucked up as it may seem, I REALLY love it when a woman is willing to fight and even kill (ideally for a good cause like protection or hunting or serving in combat); I am NOT a fan of pacisism.

Title	What personality traits are important to you when it comes to dating?
Author	AGalWithThoughts
Upvotes	12
Comments	94
Date	November 23, 2022 5:03 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/z2ufwu/what_personality_traits_are_important_to_you_when/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-personality-traits-are-important-to-you-when.1140458 https://theredarchive.com/post/1140458

Comments