Please STOP doing this.

sassylittlespoon · 2020-11-05T18:52:32+00:00

There was a thread on the relationship sub recently where a guy kept touching a girl (her FACE even) and people were like “he’s autistic!” And what the fuck it’s STILL NOT OKAY. I see autism being used sooo much lately to dismiss or excuse inappropriate sexual behavior and it makes me sick.

VeronaMoreau · 2020-11-05T19:26:27+00:00

This literally sparked an argument between my mother's boyfriend at the time and myself. Mind you I was a high schooler and this man was 60 something. I didn't take my argument as far as I wanted to because I knew that he would take it out on my mom but essentially he would always touch my waist or my lower back as he moved past me in the house. One day I was visibly irritated and told him "don't touch me." He went on this whole tirade about how me not wanting to be touched was just a sign of my inner hatefulness and a manifestation of my abandonment issues because of my father.

No you filthy fucking hobosexual, I just don't want you to touch me.

randomgirl34861 · 2020-11-05T17:48:19+00:00

When men behind me do this, I throw elbows. Hard. Then I say ”Oh my gosh you startled me!” (Note: I don’t say sorry. Just that they startled me). & I absolutely love this because there’s literally nothing they can do about it.

Lol like what are they gonna do? Call the police? The cops aren’t going to help you if touch someone without their consent and they happen to have a simple knee-jerk reaction.

I like to think that I’ve stopped at least one scrote from doing it again.

tossed_salad100 · 2020-11-05T16:59:21+00:00

But of course if you call this OBVIOUSLY inappropriate behavior out, then all you hear is: "Waah! The MeToo movement is ruining everything! I don't even know how to interact with women at work anymore! Guess I can't ever talk to women again! Guess I can't ever promote a woman! Guess I won't hire any more women!! It's just so confusing the only option is to take it out on all women professionally!!!!"

ninetiesbaby16 · 2020-11-05T15:55:18+00:00

You also don’t need to touch a woman’s lower back to “guide her”, like we’ll walk into walls without you there lol.

honeybeeroll · 2020-11-05T19:22:33+00:00

Anyone ever seen that meme with the 2 entwined lizards about this very thing lol: https://me.me/i/this-how-dudes-be-tryna-pass-by-females-at-parties-74e98a1133e444b9b2b77ad3c9d94eee

Fucking literally 😂. I always enjoyed dancing at bars/clubs and stuff but the one good thing about covid is I went a year w/o this bs. It happens maybe like once or twice a year to me. It's so gross, like the second scrotes enter that club atmosphere they get so bold. Maybe cuz it's dark or they think you're drunk and you won't notice how they think they have a right to put their hands on you 🤢.

Just proves that men will take absolutely every opportunity possible to take advantage of a woman.

2020-11-05T15:23:44+00:00

I never realized until seeing this post that this happens so often and isn’t necessary.. shows how much I have been conditioned to just be used to things and not question it

2020-11-05T20:18:45+00:00

No, this shit makes me lose my mind. One time I was filing out of an arena, and I felt a hand on my lower back. It was big crowed all moving in the same direction, so someone might bump into me or kick my heel by accident, and I wouldn't notice. But I felt this hand on my back that was startling; not the kind of incidental bumping and shoving of people in a crowd, it was definitely intentional.

So I whipped around and saw this middle aged dude walking with a woman who was probably his wife.

And I instantly did the math the patriarchy tells me to do - oh, he's just a nice old gentleman, he's not groping women right in plain view of his wife! and it's not like he grabbed my ass, it was just my back. Ok, he must have just bumped into me by mistake.

LISTEN! This is a time to listen to your gut. I know what I felt, and I know the nature of too many men. Of course he was groping me, and of course he was doing it specifically next to his wife, in a crowd, and by touching an innocuous body part like my back.

He knew this created plausible deniability. He knew that if I challenged him he could be all "Goodness gracious, mee?? A groper??? But, young lady, I only made contact with your back, not your private parts. Silly girl, jumping to wild conclusions."

Nah, that mother fucker knew what he was doing. Don't let men "plausible deniability"-away the terrible things they do to you. They touch our backs and our waists and shoulders because what they really want to do is grab our boobs and asses, but they know that we'd know they were assaulting us if the touched us there. This is their way of getting one off on us without us immediately retaliating.

DON'T FALL FOR IT.

headmatriarchkoko · 2020-11-05T15:29:49+00:00

It's disturbing that some younger ladies actually enjoy this because of patriarchal conditioning. That a man's desire for you is what gives you value. No!

Source: TikTok (a younger lady posted about enjoying this and the comments section was seconding the notion 😭🤢)

2020-11-05T20:06:03+00:00

wHaT iF iTs ReAlLy NoIsY aNd ShE cAnT hEaR Me SaY " eXcUsE mE "??

Oh the irony. Mother fucker, you have never used the words "excuse me" in your life. The type of man who can use his words to be just polite and respectful enough to say "excuse me" is the type of man who doesn't grab women. You're a degenerate with no manners - hence putting your hands repulsive hands on unsuspecting women.

Or how about i Do ThE sAmE tHiNg To MeN aNd ThEy Do iT tO mE, nO bIg DeAl, StOp MaKiNg EvErYtHiNg AbOuT gEnDeR.

Lies, How stupid do you think we are? HOW STUPID ARE YOU? We know this is a lie. You know it's a lie. What do they achieve by pushing a narrative that can only be supported with lies?

thruwuwayy · 2020-11-05T16:31:19+00:00

Bro a dude tries to touch my waist and he is getting H A N D S

shellofthemshellf · 2020-11-05T15:05:07+00:00

🤮

entpgirl415 · 2020-11-05T17:02:23+00:00

I have been saying this time and time again to people and they ALWAYS look at me like im crazy. Its actaully kind of funny that people that know me view me as being "odd" for openly saying I hate when random people touch me, but this is just me being super open and assertive to get men to stop.fucking.touching.me. I legit avoid clubs now. Even gay clubs! I was surprised to be groped by a woman there before and had a random gay guy try dancing with me touching me all over without my consent to dance as well.

2020-11-05T20:01:39+00:00

When this happens I yell "excuse you" really loud. I do enjoy the COVID social distancing, scrotes touching you has dramatically decreased.

ms_monquis · 2020-11-05T18:49:15+00:00

Yeah, I’ve got two perfectly good shoulders right up here if you M-U-S-T physically get my attention to get me out of the way.

I go to a lot of crowded concerts and yes, sometimes you do need to move someone out of your way. But I can 100% tell you that if/when I touch someone’s waist? It’s at least as much for my own benefit as to get them out of the way. (Yes, I’ve done it, to men I wanted to touch, when I was a young beast. I learned better — so can they.)

M0biusStriptease · 2020-11-05T15:04:19+00:00

Ugh I HATE this!!

Askybluesky · 2020-11-05T19:38:14+00:00

What do you do when someone touches your waist? Grab their hand ?

a boss did this to me once. What do you even do.

textbasedpanda · 2020-11-05T21:28:26+00:00

In the before-times at concerts/bars i would gently guide males out of the way by intentionally touching their lower backs. They were always shocked that it was a harmless 5ft lady doing it lol. Very effective at getting around crowds though.

MakeURegret · 2020-11-05T18:02:20+00:00

So annoyed because I had found a bar that was very good about this (I find the employees tend to be the worst offenders as they are often trying to get through the crowd multiple times and you’re not going to “win” against an employee).

And then covid happened so can’t go to it anymore :(

Ilykeyou · 2020-11-05T18:33:49+00:00

This has always bugged me! I'm 5'2" and still manage to touch an arm or shoulder. Hell, even between someone's shoulder blades at times.

oohlahla00 · 2020-11-05T16:48:09+00:00

Clearly, the only logical response is to knee them in the nuts.

smilodon91 · 2020-11-05T21:10:17+00:00

... or my shoulder, or my hip, or behind my neck, or......

SpicySavant · 2020-11-05T22:08:44+00:00

Men will literally jump out of your way if you do it to them though

manwatheil_undomiel · 2020-11-05T21:19:51+00:00

I shove their arms away from me. Sometimes followed by a 'don't touch me' depending on the perpetrator.

2020-11-06T01:59:54+00:00

Especially older men do this they have zero concept of boundaries truly disgusting

huevos_and_whiskey · 2020-11-05T17:17:48+00:00

I’m not a lawyer, is this assault? Or, since it’s not putting someone in apprehension of offensive contact, it is offensive contact in itself, is it battery?

Edit: Unless “offensive contact” has some special meaning in the legal system. Are there any lawyers or law students on FDS who can explain this?

Also, on a related note, why do we refer to rape/molestation/etc. as sexual assault and not sexual battery?

Maloria9 · 2020-11-05T21:52:37+00:00

They do that because girls on TikTok think it’s attractive, so to get the girl’s attention, they do this. It’s stupid and it’s not to be used constantly because it gets creepy asf but some people are really desperate and have no sense.

ilike2snap · 2020-11-05T22:27:45+00:00

just reading this made my whole body recoil

LargerThenATomato · 2020-11-05T18:30:26+00:00

I usually just drop a shoulder to get people to move/s

AlextheAnalyst · 2020-11-06T03:28:49+00:00

They’ll literally hug you while saying excuse me, this and there’s no reason to touch me when you pass by in a club at all, most times there’s enough room that you don’t even have to come near me. It’s not slick and very annoying. I’m tired of guys “accidentally” touching my butt as they pass by

Title	Please STOP doing this.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	1453
Comments	107
Date	November 5, 2020 2:52 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/jok2df/please_stop_doing_this/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/please-stop-doing-this.1193831 https://theredarchive.com/post/1193831

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