If I knew my girlfriend was spending her time on forums trying to logically dissect our relationship based on an ideology, that shit would be such a turn-off. I could see this applying to me too as a guy.

Maractop · 2023-07-09T16:06:50+00:00

I mean there are alot of wives and girlfriends in this sub and from what I see their husbands and boyfriends dont seem to care at all. This seems like its mainly an issue for men. I think if a girl found out her bf was tryna do the things you said she would look at him differently and probably be turned off. Some of the most unhinged girl posters here are probably in relationships. I dont think you can say the same for the guys.

SierraMistSoda · 2023-07-09T16:27:02+00:00

Going on reddit to talk about social dating issues is similar to drugs or gambling? What?

AstronautLoveShack · 2023-07-09T15:52:59+00:00

My husband knows I go on Reddit and calls it “that place AstronautLoveShack goes to argue with people.” Sometimes I will read him a headline or give him the gist of an OP. Sharing what I am reading has sparked some conversations about our own relationship, and even resolved a few issues a time or two. So it’s not all bad.

Mrs_Drgree · 2023-07-09T15:23:19+00:00

And yet, here you are.

ashpr0ulx · 2023-07-09T16:00:51+00:00

my boyfriend knows i argue with people on the internet (though i’m generally pretty tame about it) and he knows the nature of some of the things i look at. we actually talk about some of the things discussed here and it’s been kinda cool to learn how we each feel about certain things, i get to hear his perspectives as a man which i like.

FutureBannedAccount2 · 2023-07-09T15:34:25+00:00

I mean it depends on what the forum is. If it's a forum of mature people who are actively trying to help make the best out of relationships then It just means they're probably trying to be better. If it's r/PurplePillDebate then yeah it's a problem

Maffioze · 2023-07-09T19:29:48+00:00

This is why I don't date self-identified feminists.

philseven12 · 2023-07-09T17:02:21+00:00

Reddit posts aren't gonna move the needle. She's either attracted or she's not

Antisocialite99 · 2023-07-09T17:19:42+00:00

Using different lenses to gain understanding is ok, insisting on shoehorning the whole world into a single narrative or lens to fit your emotional need for it to be that way based on your baggage and issues is not.

tricep_bro · 2023-07-09T20:21:01+00:00

Idk what to tell you man.

Some of you seem to think that the world is full of rainbows and fairies. Or at least thats how it should be.

The real word is built upon thousands of years of competition and warfare between various groups and within groups.

It had to come to the point of various nations owning nukes, weapons that could kill tens of thousands in a few moments, to finally get people to finally say "okay maybe lets talk this out first".

Other people really dont give af about you. They only care about themselves.

I used to grow up thinking being the nice guy, being good and helpful was the way to live. I grew up with all the hero stories and loved them. Still do.

But the truth is being a nice guy and being kind and helpful gets you nothing but being used by other people.

Its not going to make you successful. There is a reason a lot of people see kindness as weakness. Because it is.

If you have to lie, cheat, manipulate and force your way to be successful, so be it.

Lying or keeping something from your woman, (which btw, you are doing to save your relationship or at least save yourself) is probably one of the least malicious things i could think of someone doing.

Women will most likely take it the wrong way. But guess what, the majority of women would also take it the wrong way if you were to take a paternity test. They are not logical and will take things personal. Modern women also seem to have an exceptional lack of empathy towards men.

This is the hand we are dealt. Deal with it. You really shouldnt be so concerned about doing something which isnt the most "proper".

NeveruseTren · 2023-07-09T23:29:46+00:00

I agree. If I ever found out one of my women were coming to Reddit asking for advice aka how to manipulate me to do something she wants or if I walk into her place and see a fucking book on the counter titled “the rules” she’s gone. No thanks!

Grand-Inspection2303 · 2023-07-09T18:18:01+00:00

It totally depends on what views you're advocating here. Most women are going to be offended by pilled ideology, and they're going to be upset if they find out their boyfriends are husbands are into those things. It's not that they'd be offended that the BF or husbands are talking about dating or relationship dynamics and ideas online, it's the specific ideas they have on those things that'd be offensive. And that's why it's women who are telling you "my partner knows and is okay with it." Guys already know their wives or GF are feminist or "blue pilled," etc.. these are mainstream views that nobody feels the need to hide. Guys who advocate Black/Red Pill or Incel ideas have every reason to hide those views because most women would be horrified that they're dating a misogynist or misanthropist. Also, you're not seeing as many guys say "My GF's okay with it," because the guys getting drawn to these ideas don't have partners anyway - that's what drew them to the ideology.

lacuti3 · 2023-07-09T21:11:11+00:00

Women talk to their boyfriends and husbands about what they read on ppd? Those conversations probably have NO SUBSTANCE since women almost never post anything useful or insightful here. Lmao

ApprehensiveDot3115 · 2023-07-09T15:44:13+00:00

I think it depends entirely on the individual's reasons for doing this.

On one hand, you have those who are ideologically motivated. Maybe they've had some bad experiences with relationships, or lack thereof, and have fallen into a bitter, ruminating state on the resulting trauma. These ones are the ones to be wary of, and I agree with you in reference to them. They already think poorly of the opposite sex and they're trying to find logically sound ways to justify those beliefs.

On the other, you have people who are trying to better themselves. Most of us are naturally unremarkable; most people are the average person, and the unfortunate ones are plain undesirable. In an ever competitive world, it can be useful to understand how the opposite sex thinks and behaves, in order to increase your ability to navigate romantic and sexual relationships in a way that makes you happy.

People learn about diet and exercise if they're sick of being fat slobs. People learn about music if they want to play an instrument. People read self help books if they're in mental turmoil. People go to university if they want a holistic understanding of a specialized topic.

Cultural biases aside, it's no different when it comes to relationships, right? If someone is aware and honest with themselves about their shortcomings, or aspects of themselves that make them seem plain and boring to the opposite sex. I think it's a commendable thing for them to try and learn about how to improve those things.

If they're in these online spaces in good faith, that's what they'll really be doing, and it shows that they're trying to make conscious choices in life, instead of following whims and desires.

AhsokaSolo · 2023-07-09T16:03:37+00:00

Who is hiding anything? Why would anyone do that? For engaging in discourse on reddit? Nah.

I feel like a lot of things your gf could do might drive you nuts/be a turn off. That's not ideal in a relationship.

wuchjazz2 · 2023-07-09T20:11:56+00:00

There is already so much shame around educating men on female nature we don't need more of that.

Late_Hotel3404 · 2023-07-09T22:11:49+00:00

Look, I agree with everything you said, however your psychotically self-absorbed post history suggests you’re not the best judge of normal behaviour.

JNRoberts42 · 2023-07-09T18:23:05+00:00

I’m here because a brother and his friends are pretty deep into the horseshit and I see them suffering because of it. They keep taking the “advice” of grifters and attempting to pick up and hit on beautiful, outgoing young women when they are the polar opposite of that.

I’ve been around here a few months and still haven’t figured out why so many subscribe to what is some perverse hybrid between pyramid scheme and cult.

baiser_vole · 2023-07-09T16:20:49+00:00

That's why it is important to be with someone who already knows I'm a bit messed up and have pretty bad dark humour. He calls this the zoo for me.

We know both of us have other potentially better options in a superficial sense, but are extremely content with each other that we don't care much? Like it is what it is. No need to beat around the bush. As long as we both feel blessed to be with each other, whatever.

EDIT: I guess it helps that we both know neither of us are TOO superficial.

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Unnecessary-Training · 2023-07-09T17:04:33+00:00

It's not as if there's much logic on this forum.

Miserable_Yam4778 · 2023-07-09T17:17:42+00:00

I share the posts here with my dude and we have a good chuckle. If you're with someone who you feel you have to hide your internet activity from, it might not be a great relationship.

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2023-07-09T18:04:22+00:00

My husband knows I post here, I sometimes read him some of the most insane takes.

Green-Quantity1032 · 2023-07-09T18:46:06+00:00

I don't see a lot of "specific relationship" talks here..

Mostly general concepts (helpful or not), but not really "this girl did this, what should I do now?"

Also - what you're talking about is basically the whole point of things like /r/relationship_advice - which actually does give cringe and bad advice.

Embarrassed-Tune9038 · 2023-07-09T18:49:04+00:00

Women do something similar. Where they take a relationship issue to their female friends, though now on Reddit and getting countless other people's input.

lightoftruth_777 · 2023-07-09T19:25:55+00:00

I think it’s therapy for a lot of people. Sometimes we need advice and maybe don’t know how to discuss it with our partners, until we come at it from the right angle.

Secondly, anything I discuss here is nothing I wouldn’t discuss in person or have discussed in person.

So, people are entitled to their privacy. That’s a case of curiosity killed the cat. If you choose to approach her about it, you’ll have to explain how you know, if she’s indeed trying to hide it from you.

I don’t consider it cheating or being deceptive. It’s basically venting and being free to express without making it personal.

modidlee · 2023-07-09T20:18:46+00:00

I disagree. If you actually treat them well they'd probably say something like "I don't know why you go online arguing with those crazy people." But if you're actually a bad partner/lover then it probably would add to the reasons why they don't want to be with you.

Excellent_Badger123 · 2023-07-10T00:14:14+00:00

I’m here because I enjoy man/woman gender related discourse. My husband enjoys the same. He doesn’t do Reddit but he knows I read/post here. He doesn’t care &/enjoys me enjoying...whatever I’m into. I have many many interests besides ppd.
We just moved to passport bro land last year so I don’t have many social friends here IRL yet and the ones I’m getting to know are all younger expat men. They are my neighbors, the people I encounter & socialize with mainly. Once I learn Thai I can’t wait to chat with the older native Thai aunties and other non English speaking Thais of all genders. I expect my time here will be less or none then.

Wolverbeans · 2023-07-10T03:04:02+00:00

This is deluded cope.

Men are turned on by hot women, they are turned off by not hot women.

How she spends her free time is inconsequential.

HighestTierMaslow · 2023-07-10T03:51:02+00:00

I come here for entertainment.

Yeah Im thinking alot of the guys here are pretty awful to be coupled with.

AMDisappointment · 2023-07-10T04:22:51+00:00

Most girls are already doing that with their friends though.

NotHard2Understand · 2023-07-10T10:08:09+00:00

You really think women don't think things at all? The amount of shit women tell me cause they "trust that I can take it" (due to being hot) is staggering, I can leave examples if you want.

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