Do women compare what their bf/husbands can provide to what other men can provide for their women

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2023-09-21T19:10:27+00:00

Do I do it? No. Do my female friends do it? No. Do some women do it? Yep.

If you're the type of person who posts everything on social media to show off how great your life is (allegedly), you're probably going to be the type of person who compares their vacations or partners to the "better" vacations and partners your friends/people you follow may have. I don't think it's even about the vacation/fancy restaurant, these people just don't like being outdone by someone else.

1Here4Bach · 2023-09-21T18:12:34+00:00

I think it’s similar to a male’s friend saying their girlfriend does fun freaky stuff in bed but your girlfriend just does missionary. Sure you love her but you still feel a little envious like you’re missing out because his girlfriend does stuff you wish your girlfriend would do for you.

If a female friend is bragging about how her husband got her a 5 star hotel room in Italy for their anniversary and another wife only got a dinner at Chili’s for her anniversary, most women would be jealous. But I think this is only the case if the woman is in your immediate circle.

Most women aren’t effected by a celebrity or influencers boyfriend doing over the top stuff for them because it’s to be expected. It stings when it’s closer to home though.

SeveralSadEvenings · 2023-09-21T19:15:11+00:00

Women tend to compare themselves to ig models their boyfriends follow

We do? Thats news to me.

If my husband wasn't providing what I wanted (his presence and dick) then he wouldn't be my husband. What clout chasers and their ilk do is of little importance to me.

If I want fancy dinners and exotic vacations I obtain them myself. Waiting or hoping my husband would provide me those things seems like a terrible waste of everyone's time and energy.

Keep your eyes on your own plate, its not that hard.

ashpr0ulx · 2023-09-21T19:43:59+00:00

women who are happy with what they have aren’t seriously comparing their men to others. women who aren’t happy with what they have are more drawn to comparison.

demedermidimi · 2023-09-21T18:02:50+00:00

i don't, I don't run in the same circles as men who can afford expensive restaurants and frequent vacations around the world

TSquaredRecovers · 2023-09-21T18:04:29+00:00

No, not at all. For one thing, I can provide for myself. If there is something I want, I go purchase it. Secondly, I’m not particularly materialistic.

MidoriEgg · 2023-09-21T18:10:03+00:00

I personally think it’s more of a personality thing. If you’ve got that grass is greener mentality you’ll always feel unsatisfied with what you have, whether it be friends, job or partner. I think there’s men and women like this. It probably also depends what people in the woman (or man’s )immediate social circle are like. If all his friends have super hot/conventionally attractive girlfriends or all her friends have rich/generous boyfriends there will probably be some comparison.

MistyMaisel · 2023-09-21T18:17:20+00:00

Never to like influencers/celebrities. I don't know their lives or relationships so why compare. Plus, I mean, they've got more money than god and an amount I'd never wish on myself or my man.

Maybe lightly to people I do know and their relationships, but not even that very much in part because I'm in an awesome relationship and in part because I wouldn't really want to date those men?

But, I could imagine if I wasn't in a happy or as happy a relationship the comparison would abound a lot more on all fronts mostly because it would be my psyche telling me to leave. Kind of like Pee Wee's Big Adventure and bicycles. I'd see happy relationships everywhere because I'm not in one.

Safinated · 2023-09-21T18:19:12+00:00

Some do

funlightmandarin · 2023-09-21T18:33:08+00:00

If I didn't like how he treated me, he wouldn't be my boyfriend. What other people do in their relationships has little bearing on that.

ToughCollection7460 · 2023-09-21T21:13:55+00:00

I did when I was much younger and immature. Now years into our relationship and married I am very satisfied in the life we’ve built and feel very blessed with my husband. The game of comparison was only hurting me and my relationship. I also deleted most of my social media accounts.

Justwannaread3 · 2023-09-21T18:09:16+00:00

Lol. No.

If something is important to me, I talk to my partner about it. If something’s important to him, he talks to me.

Our relationship is based on what we want and need — not what other people do in their relationships.

SianOiseau · 2023-09-21T17:55:38+00:00

If he had to travel her around to convince her to be his girlfriend...just what were they while they were traveling? Charitably - they were friends, but it just doesn't sound realistic imv.

Answering your question I wish we could afford to travel that much. I don't want him to provide all of these lavishes, but I do want us both have enough money to travel around and see the world. I want to make enough money to make thoughtful gifts for him that cost more than I can afford right now. I want to make enough money to live in a better apartment. And I know that he shares my sentiments. We're partners, neither had to convince the other to date them. We liked each other and we enjoyed spending time together, so gradually we fell in love. I didn't require him to throw money at me, we both were broke students.

januaryphilosopher · 2023-09-21T18:17:22+00:00

You can compare anything to anything. Most people will have the kind of thought that, for example, their partner is providing them love and happiness, and think this happens in other relationships too. In terms of negative comparisons, they're usually only looking at other people and thinking they have more of there are already problems. If I compare my relationship to one where the couple goes for fancy meals all the time, it's usually in a grateful way, as I've never come across a couple like that who seem content with themselves. If there was something I wanted and felt I was missing, I'd ask for it or provide it in my own relationship, I don't care what others are doing.

One-Introduction-566 · 2023-09-21T18:25:16+00:00

I think women are less likely to compare themselves to Instagram models and more to their own friends relationships. IG is nice but we know a lot of it is either fake or just some rich person I’ll never be.

However If I see my sister getting really cute gifts from her bf or him driving far to see her every week and my bf not doing anything comparable, yes sometimes I’ll feel like I want more from my own partner. I want to be romanced too and those smaller thoughtful gestures mean a lot and are super cute.

TheMedsPeds · 2023-09-21T18:34:47+00:00

I mean, I’ll see it on social media and think “Aw wouldn’t that be nice” but it’s not something I ever actually expect. It’s like taking a trip to Hawaii or Dubai. A nice fantasy, but not something I’d even expect to happen in reality. Guys have never done grand romantic gestures for me. If I do something nice, it’s me, my money and my planning. It’s very normal to me.

Hell today I posted of FB trying to find someone to simply accompany me to the new Saw movie because the only friends I know that would go would need me to pay for them. So my bar in terms of being wined and dined is buried beneath the earth lol. I’ll probably end up going to the movie by myself just because I don’t want to pay for two tickets.

Also a lot of thought and planning creating the “perfect life” goes into these sort of social media stunts. They are selling a envious lifestyle so I don’t like to take TikToks like that 100% seriously.

Objective_Ad_6265 · 2023-09-21T18:38:18+00:00

No. I have enough money, I couldn't care less.

AngeCruelle · 2023-09-21T19:16:11+00:00

Yes. It makes me want to provide those types of comforts for my BF.

Fit_Kiwi9703 · 2023-09-21T21:58:37+00:00

People who spend a lot of time on social media will be influenced by it. People who don't won't be. It's simple as that.

It's an influencer's job to sell you a fantasy lifestyle so you're enticed into clicking on their affiliated content and purchase their sponsored products. That's how they make $$$.

Make friends with real couples, and your mind will be changed.

InjectAdrenochrome · 2023-09-21T17:57:15+00:00

I try to avoid content like that because it's not helpful to me in my situation.

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chalkandapples · 2023-09-21T18:33:38+00:00

No, if I cared that much about being wined and dined I would've dated someone different. And my husband wouldn't have dated someone that that prioritized being wined and dined that much either. You can't compared because I don't value what random other people in the internet might value.

My husband already does the most to make me happy, and he knows what actually makes me happy compared to some other guy like the one referenced in the tiktok video. That other guy probably knows what makes his gf/wife happy and act accordingly, which is great, but I'm not the same person.

I also don't compared myself to IG models. I don't actually want to be like them, because there's specific things I like about myself that I don't see in them.

basedmama21 · 2023-09-21T20:31:43+00:00

Not at all. My husband taking me to our local Mexican joint, or dine in movie while the folks watch our baby is the equivalent of a richer man taking some girl to Nobu (I don’t see the appeal) and spending $500 on her. In fact I think what we do is better and more meaningful.

Comparison of that nature is the thief of joy. The fact that I have a husband who provides for our family and STILL finds time for romance is better than winning the lottery or being with someone who makes 7 figures and possibly has me on a rotation. (I go to a gym that had a lot of top 1% earners and NONE of them practice an ounce of monogamy.)

ColbyXXXX · 2023-09-21T21:04:38+00:00

Women who use instagram do in my experience. “I want that for me” and “When will it be my turn?” Are said pretty frequently.

pagenotfound000 · 2023-09-21T21:14:57+00:00

No I don't

I have a standard of living and he just has to meet that standard.

Nellylocheadbean · 2023-09-21T21:33:12+00:00

Yes, a lot of women do this. It’s more prominent in the generation who was raised on the internet.

lacuti3 · 2023-09-22T00:00:06+00:00

Nah guys don’t know what love is, they only have sexual feelings for girls. Guys don’t care about women, they only care about spreading their seed.

The girl in the video would be eternally happier if she accepted that instead of constantly making everyone think he “really loves” her.

Cethlinnstooth · 2023-09-22T01:55:59+00:00

"compare" is a loaded word here isn't it?

Of course if life seems a bit shit for us as a couple compared to those around us I'm going to be trying to work out why and yes working out why means comparing us to people whose lives aren't a bit shit. Like...who the fuck, male or female, wouldn't do that? Are these like... people who also don't even do a budget? I know where my money comes from and where it goes. I surmise a few things about where a boyfriends money comes from and where it goes...its impossible not to really as time goes on and you're spending lots of time together. The "comparison" is just built in. You know how you're going and why. And when you're not having fun there's only two suspects for the why of it. And it raises questions. If I want to continue to go out with my friends who meet once a week for coffee and he's pleading poverty to stay home while I go out despite supposedly having a good job well it raises some questions doesn't it

The whole being taken places thing is silly once you're serious. You negotiate that stuff and both chip in.

But no...I'm not gonna be comparing myself to people on tiktok. Because tiktok is full of lies and fake. And if tiktok is where you get your ideas about how people really are, omg you're fucked.

ImpossibleSquish · 2023-09-22T02:45:00+00:00

I'm polyamorous so comparisons are a big no no for me. I shy away from those types of thoughts whenever they arise. I don't entertain them.

Theres_Always_Hope · 2023-09-22T03:19:29+00:00

I've never compared anyone because everyone is different. Different circumstances, situations and opportunities. I'm primarily concerned with how someone can treat me because I can finance myself

throwayayyew · 2023-09-22T03:48:14+00:00

Yes, I am extremely unattractive KHHV woman. The prettier women I know attract better quality men than me. They make eye contact with them, they walk side-by-side woth them, they laugh at all their jokes, they smile at them, they keep the conservation flowing, they are actually nice to them.

Men either ignore me, avoid me, or they are very hostile/violent towards me. Never been asked out or experienced any type of interaction from men unless it was sexual or violence.

lvoncreek · 2023-09-22T07:59:16+00:00

No, this is a myth

Title	Do women compare what their bf/husbands can provide to what other men can provide for their women
Author	ThrowRAsweeter
Upvotes	5
Comments	57
Date	September 21, 2023 5:49 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/16ombxp/do_women_compare_what_their_bfhusbands_can/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/do-women-compare-what-their-bfhusbands-can-provide.1232557 https://theredarchive.com/post/1232557

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