I think the true love it s just when you are young

wtknight · 2023-10-09T16:27:48+00:00

Re-flaired CMV as this post is making an affirmative claim

Glass_Bucket · 2023-10-09T16:39:21+00:00

Eh, social status still matters to young people

A popular jock is obviously going to get more girls than a lonely nerd

TotalTravesty · 2023-10-09T16:13:52+00:00

No one is more status-conscious than young people, specifically for the reasons you stated. In the absence of money, social status is the capital that young people trade on. You don’t think who you have on your arm is part of that social capital? And apparently, the ability to not be compared to another guy is just a huge bag of social capital for you.

Most of your post is describing puberty hormones, and hey, if you want to conflate the combination of youth and chemical psychosis for “true love,” be my guest. Heroin addicts claim to “love” their drug too but nobody’s taking their word for it.

People, remember: “Romeo and Juliet” wasn’t supposed to be aspirational.

Barneysparky · 2023-10-09T16:12:17+00:00

I think you are confusing lust with love, do you not know any old couples?

Birb-brained · 2023-10-09T16:14:40+00:00

I look back at the people I ‘loved’ as a teen and I cringe. I am genuinely perplexed by my teenage self and what/who I thought I loved.

Safinated · 2023-10-09T17:27:44+00:00

If you consider the desires of horny, hormone-crazed children “true love”, sure.

I do not

l00ks-p1lled · 2023-10-09T19:12:32+00:00

I believe that true love is physical attraction + mental attraction + good chemistry

You can find it at any age, the probability dramatically increases if you're good looking

grillopie · 2023-10-09T16:08:47+00:00

Nono. Not good general advice to stay with your teenage love. Youre not grown at that point and theres a high likelihood youll turn into different people that cant stand each other.

Comparison helps, doesnt hurt. No comparison = more confusion which means its less likely to be “true love” however you define it.

Teenagers are busy AF and have to deal with family more, more time to see each other if in the same school, but less time to do what you want.

I dont get what baggage and expectation has to do with true love. If anything dealing with baggage is true love right there.

SeveralSadEvenings · 2023-10-09T16:14:34+00:00

I was going to write a rebuttal, but I realized it doesn't matter, this is just wish fulfillment for someone with an unfortunate case of arrested developement.

FaradayBurka · 2023-10-09T17:40:36+00:00

Most of the couples I know who met in high school or college are now divorced.

harmonica2 · 2023-10-09T16:52:35+00:00

I'm in my late 30s and I am more in love than I have ever been with my current girlfriend, but that's just my experience.

KeepCopingBuddy · 2023-10-09T17:16:46+00:00

True love is when she fucks you without making you jump through hoops.

Chad only though.

toasterchild · 2023-10-09T16:10:54+00:00

But is it really since you haven't developed into your true self yet. Most childhood relationships end when the two people grow apart.

NothingOrAllLife · 2023-10-09T20:38:28+00:00

When I think about the guys I was in love with (most of them I never really talked to) as a teen, it’s sooooo terrible. I’d created a fantasy in my head of what dating them would be like and fell in love with that.

Did the same thing with the few guys I did date when I was younger. Made up fantasies in my head and just hoped that if I stuck around long enough they’d grow into that dream I had.

Even though they were shitty partners for me.

bruhminer · 2023-10-09T23:17:45+00:00

We're meant to pair bond with one person in our lives, both virgins, have kids, build a family, that's the natural order of things.

Not date a bunch of people and discard them like trash then repat again until what, one day you suddenly are in "love" ? Yet again, but this time for real. Yeah right.

orangecloverbud · 2023-10-09T23:58:22+00:00

You actually, truly think a child's parents wealth doesn't help with their popularity? There was a girl that got McDonalds for lunch regularly in my school and EVERYONE flooded her.

TonytheNetworker · 2023-10-10T00:26:58+00:00

You can make a counter argument that older love is just as valid as young love. Despite going through trauma, baggage, possible divorce, less tolerance for BS, increased standards the special person who you end up with will likely stick it out and has the experience to navigate difficult times.

Ok_Smile_60 · 2023-10-09T16:54:45+00:00

Definitely, making it work when young is best.

Most don’t do it right though, think with their tingles, get with bad people, and collect baggage that dogs them later.

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2023-10-09T16:48:34+00:00

You think young people don't care about status? It seems like you're talking about teenagers here, so I can't help but laugh. If you're wearing the wrong shoes, those kids will rip you a new one. They care about the dumbest things imaginable and will dump someone for the silliest reasons. No shade on them, they're kids, and they're obviously going to have incredibly superficial relationships.

willing to put up with more

I wouldn't say that's a good thing. You're not doing yourself any favors if you're putting up with things you don't like/find distasteful or offensive all the time. They're willing to put up with more because they don't know any better.

No comparison , no ex bf or ex gf , you are the best to eachother .

They can still compare you to someone else they've had a crush on, or even to the imaginary perfect bf/gf they've created in their heads.

No baggages, no expectations.

If either person had a fucked up family situation, or was bullied, or has mental health issues, they have baggage.

Teen ''love'' can be very sweet but it's more lust than anything else. You're just starting to figure yourself out, and trying to figure out how relationships work. I wouldn't say it's ''true love'' if you're dating someone who is in mint condition, with no baggage, expectations, responsibilities, or prior experiences. It sounds like you want the good parts of a relationship (sex, spending time together) without all of the boring or even bad parts (finding time to see each other, compromising, resolving issues you have with each other, dealing with the stress of life together). I'd argue it's much more endearing to love someone who has been beaten up by existence a little bit, with all their baggage and experiences that have shaped them to be who they are today, to be willing to take the bad with the good because that person is worth it.

januaryphilosopher · 2023-10-09T19:05:58+00:00

Teenagers often think their love is the truest thing ever, and look back in a decade and laugh at themselves because they didn't even know who they were or how to love. They often, male and female, are only with each other because they're popular or seen as cool by friends or whatever.

jaybalvinman · 2023-10-09T22:22:32+00:00

True love does not exist.

Forever does not exist.

"Being in love" does not exist. All it is is infatuation.

Life is not a fairytale.

baiser_vole · 2023-10-09T17:04:24+00:00

You are making the argument every attractive woman makes. The claim is that you are never sure if someone likes you for your looks or for yourself.

It certainly is easier to see if others are genuine when you have nothing. But it you do have something, you just need better vetting skills.

One of the ways to tell is to see whether you are the highest value partner he/she can get. If he/she is prioritizing mate value, be extra cautious.

Wide-Illustrator2906 · 2023-10-09T18:28:04+00:00

True love can only exist when both sides have nothing to gain from the relationship but companionship, compatibility and a genuine desire to see each other happy. This can only happen if both men and women are free from the baggage of past relationships, partners or modern society's influence, so I agree with you that it's mostly only possible among young people but I will make an exception for deeply religious people from traditional societies

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Junior_Ad_3086 · 2023-10-09T17:30:08+00:00

you have social status in your teenage years too but a lot of it is based on personality to be fair (other people liking you, large social circle).

building a life together, growing and experiencing things for the first time as a couple is a great bonding experience i think. hard to get that when you're older. on the other hand many people don't really know what they want out of life at a young age and a lack of relationship and life experience can be a big obstacle depending on the relationship. so there's 2 sides to this.

TheRedPillRipper · 2023-10-09T20:39:02+00:00

More time for eachother

True love isn’t just about the good. It’s also about facing the bad. Working through things. Then coming out the other side stronger.

There’s beauty to new love, newly found. Beauty too, to long standing love. Battle tested.

Godspeed and good luck!

Spyro7x3 · 2023-10-09T23:05:23+00:00

In my experience the truest love was a whirlwind of very specific circumstances where her and I relied on each other to make it through a crazy period of our lives. Deep connection due to intense circumstance and relying on eachother to be the only refuge of trust in a world of lies.

I've had gfs that I loved because they were fun, ones that I loved because they were smart but it was not the type of true love and appreciation as the one who knew me at the deepest level its like we could see the world through each others eyes.

I think I'm lucky because in all my years I've known very few couples that were on that level but I have met a few older folks who are clearly best friends and confidants.

2023-10-09T23:33:31+00:00

no social status

🤔

CountMandrake · 2023-10-10T02:27:13+00:00

True love is not true. "Romantic" love doesn't exists.

What exists is sexual attraction.

"Love" is actually companionship. Anyone can be your partner, granted a baseline behaviour that fits yours.

But I don't want companionship without sexual chemistry, and that's really hard to attain, if not impossible, and even more impossible to sustain over time.

So yeah, love does not exist.

If there is any ressemblance to true romantic love in a relationship with a woman it's the first 4 to 8 months of dating (it's often a shorter span of time, but I'll give it max 8 months) and after that shit starts popping up, the ilussion breaks and I lose intrest.

Rince and repeat.

I'm an incurable romantic I guess hahaha.

Ok-Supermarket-6747 · 2023-10-10T03:08:22+00:00

I have looked at that too, giving second chances to young love. Unfortunately for me, my ‘high school sweetheart’ was psychotic.

I’d argue that if you can provide yourselves with similar comforts then you will have no doubt they like you for your personality.

Even old dogs can learn new tricks so don’t be disheartened: you likely don’t know everything about relationships yet and may still find yourself experiencing ‘firsts’

Horses4causes · 2023-10-10T11:58:50+00:00

Relationship popular culture is bullshit, just like the popular culture of sex. They are only damaging and destructive. Relationships ought to lead to marriage and sex is for the marital union. All of these stupid issues are a result of sex and relationships. Spare us of all this drama, please. Get some friends, have a beverage and a smile and shut the fuck up.

Willow-girl · 2023-10-10T12:40:04+00:00

That's true infatuation.

True love is a different thing altogether ...

Flightlessbirbz · 2023-10-11T01:17:31+00:00

Young people tend to be very conscious of status, it’s just social status rather than financial. Sometimes they’ll even date someone just to say they have a bf/gf. The hormones and novelty of life make everything seem more intense, but feelings are also a lot more fickle at that age for the same reasons.

There are some couples who have been together since HS which is cute, but there’s a reason it’s not very common. You don’t even know who you are yet and don’t know who the other person is either, so a lot of whether or not it lasts will come down to luck and determination to make it work. It seems like looking for certain traits you know you want in a partner is shallow to you, but I disagree. You can truly love someone and also be able to articulate why you chose them.

Title	I think the true love it s just when you are young
Author	DismalScarcity1167
Upvotes	56
Comments	114
Date	October 9, 2023 4:03 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/173viqb/i_think_the_true_love_it_s_just_when_you_are_young/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/i-think-the-true-love-it-s-just-when-you-are-young.1234544 https://theredarchive.com/post/1234544

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