Men with low sexdrive. A dealbreaker?

Windmill_flowers · 2023-10-21T16:26:57+00:00

Everything is a deal breaker.

We have Goldilocks requirements.

Not too much. Not too little.

Of anything

hungrychick404 · 2023-10-21T17:04:05+00:00

I’ve been with a guy with a low sex drive, and I got nervous that he was only initiating sex to make me happy and the communication around that could have been better. When I like someone (not just because they look hot, but because we click and have chemistry and a chance of commitment), I feel a lot of desire towards them. So a low sex drive wouldn’t be ideal, but with good communication around it I would accept it.

WanabeInflatable · 2023-10-21T17:11:53+00:00

I'm reading the comments and it is pretty much unanimous. LLM and asexuals are not relationship material.

In combination with all the demonization of male sexuality and delaying sex till 3rd, 5th, 10th date, half year... Sounds like damned if you do, damned if you don't. To pass all the checks and waiting patiently man needs to have low libido, but then when she's finally up for the hot and heavy stuff low libido becomes a deal-breaker.

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2023-10-21T16:29:51+00:00

yes duh

TermAggravating8043 · 2023-10-21T16:29:58+00:00

I can work with that, maybe not at the start of the relationship but if things went on and everything else was great then I’d just buy myself something to take care of my own needs

BunnyFlopped · 2023-10-21T16:40:06+00:00

Since my drive is very high I would want someone compatible with myself. I’ve dated women before, and we struggled with both feeling sexually fulfilled because I wanted sex significantly more than they did.

As a result, I think it’s honestly the best bet to try to find someone who wants what you want to the same extent when it comes to very important things in relationships. Sex to me wouldn’t be an exception to that.

Novadina · 2023-10-21T17:01:38+00:00

I have a high libido and initiate more than my partner or any of my exes. So I’m used to having a higher sex drive. But a man having one so low he never initiates and he sees sex as “altruism” as you said in a comment would be a deal breaker for me. I only have an interest in being with men who are into me.

DreaminInChocolate · 2023-10-21T16:00:15+00:00

It would be a deal breaker for me.

lady_ven0m · 2023-10-21T16:33:11+00:00

Dealbreaker.

YaKnowEstacado · 2023-10-21T16:42:49+00:00

Major dealbreaker. Actually not even a deal breaker because there wouldn't be a deal in the first place.

mystoryhere12 · 2023-10-21T16:49:38+00:00

What does low sex drive even mean in terms of times per week? Is twice per week low sex drive? Seems like it would be considered low for some and not an issue for many

pssnflwr · 2023-10-21T17:41:55+00:00

I think depends on the woman and her sex drive. Having wildly incompatible sex drives is going to make things difficult, if not impossible.

I personally would likely not do well in a relationship with this guy unless he was like super down to eat me out all time even if he didn’t want PiV, but then I would also get insecure about him not enjoying himself and just doing it for me and yeah it wouldn’t work

januaryphilosopher · 2023-10-21T16:05:11+00:00

Been there, done that. It's not ideal but I can masturbate. It helps if he likes activities outside of PIV too or at least sometimes likes to do them even if he's not horny.

AngeCruelle · 2023-10-21T16:07:54+00:00

I think my ideal would be a man who doesn't pester me for sex but is down for it when I initiate. Warms up after a good amount of teasing and foreplay.

Is that low? Medium? Impossible?

sweetestpineapple · 2023-10-21T19:13:22+00:00

At this point in my life, I’d prefer it. I’ve had issues with painful sex for a while and while I can have it, weekly or even a few times a month is good enough. Affection is more important overall.

MacaronFinancial · 2023-10-21T17:34:24+00:00

Man with low sex drive = woman has no bargaining power.

Some-Parsnip-1551 · 2023-10-21T19:20:17+00:00

Well for the modern woman it's ideal given the obstacles she faces. Women sleep around with Chad, used and abused get to their 30s and think "shit time to find me a sponsor". Chad sure ain't committing to these women.

So what happens these women find a simp desperate for relationship/love/sex and extract him for all his resources over the course of the marriage.

Low sexdrive is ideal as the woman is never really physically attracted to her new sponsor and she got all the stuffing in her younger prime years.

Low sexdrive and big $$$ earner very ideal for the modern woman at a certain age.

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UpbeatInsurance5358 · 2023-10-21T16:38:53+00:00

Not really no. Most men have a lower sex drive than me so I've learned to deal with it.

SianOiseau · 2023-10-21T16:58:17+00:00

Yeah, that would be a dealbreaker. I doubt I'd enjoy always being the initiator and I like having some variety and experiments in our bedroom. I doubt we could do it if he wasn't interested in sex in the first place.

I'd have no issues with lower frequency as long as he was initiating half of the times though and still wanted to try different things out though. Let's say...every other day is ideal, but I could leave with once a week if the session was long and intensive enough.

MotherPermit9585 · 2023-10-21T17:15:31+00:00

Yes, it definitely would be a dealbreaker for me. Tbh tho there was a time where I was on a particular type of hormonal birth control that killed my sex drive and I wouldn’t have cared during that time. Now that I have a high sex drive again I prefer a partner with similar high libido

JNRoberts42 · 2023-10-21T17:37:21+00:00

Dealbreaker.

penndelnj · 2023-10-21T17:40:48+00:00

Yes, unfortunately. If I wanted a good friend, I’d make one. If I am with a man, I want sex.

Relative_Bee8356 · 2023-10-21T19:41:08+00:00

Yes, and I've left over it before.

I have a high sex drive and need a partner who is similar. I can deal with some disparity, but if his sex drive is too low I won't be happy in the relationship.

hugegayballs · 2023-10-21T21:08:17+00:00

If your sex drive is genuinely just lower than average, no. Wouldn't be a deal breaker. If your sex drive is average but your interest in ACTUAL sex is low and you waste allat energy on porn and jerking off in the bathroom (like most men that claim to have a low sex drive) then yes, dealbreaker.

Safinated · 2023-10-21T22:09:18+00:00

No, but let’s not pretend it’s a common situation or a coverup for cheating or sex issues

KikiYuyu · 2023-10-21T22:44:03+00:00

I think I would get tired of that. The enjoyment of not feeling any pressure would wear off. I want at least a little passion, come on now.

kalashhhhhhhh · 2023-10-21T23:11:39+00:00

Yes, it is a dealbreaker.

I'm comfortable initiating 50% of the time, but I require feeling wanted sexually to want to be sexual in the first place.

I also probably have a bigger sex drive than the average woman. I don't want to date a low libido person

NJFlowerchild · 2023-10-22T00:14:18+00:00

Find someone with a matching low sex drive.

Gilmoregirlin · 2023-10-22T00:50:00+00:00

I was in a relationship like this and I would never be in that type of a relationship again.

AttackOnTightPanties · 2023-10-22T00:53:24+00:00

Absolutely. Ideally, I would like to have sex every other day. This isn’t a hard and fast thing (stress can cause me to lose interest for durations), but inherently, my partner needs to have a libido that is at least similar to mine. If he isn’t in the mood, though, or has had a loss in libido that is out of character, I can roll with it as long as there is an end in sight.

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Title	Men with low sexdrive. A dealbreaker?
Author	WanabeInflatable
Upvotes	10
Comments	93
Date	October 21, 2023 3:52 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/17d5m58/men_with_low_sexdrive_a_dealbreaker/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/men-with-low-sexdrive-a-dealbreaker.1235875 https://theredarchive.com/post/1235875

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