I don’t like walls of text, so I'm going to try to at least keep the phrasing punchy and engaging. Hemingway style.

It's no surprise, but I notice on this sub that there's a lot of fatalism when it comes to Online Dating.

Rather, I see a lot of fatalism with regard to dating and women in general, really.

And speaking as an American in particular, the apathy of our society embeds itself into every part of our lives and it destroys our agency to make positive changes, has destroyed it.

The idea that things are terrible, won't and cannot change is the dominant outlook, and it's one part of a feedback loop that has to be examined and then dismantled.

OnLineDating is not meant to be functional.

It's not meant to work.

Like any other platform in this stage of the internet, it exists primarily for: The capture and sale of user data, microtransactions (super likes, roses, etc) and the maximization of user engagement so that more data can be sold and more microtransactions can be made.

Capitalism does not produce efficiency of service or quality of products.

It produces efficiency in the capture of profit, in whatever way circumstances demand.

So long as dating is allowed to be a commodity for which we must either pay in time or pay in money for just a chance at doing well, this is the inevitable end point.

They don't want you to be happy. They want you looking for happiness.

And they in this situation is MatchGroup, the company that owns most of these depression roulette apps.

We all know this, and yet we insist on complaining about this organized sabotage of human relationships like it's the most natural thing on the planet.

Capitalism is not an economic system capable of creating stable, prosocial connection between peoples.

So we cannot entrust these things to a capitalist institution.

Much like Facebook, or Twitter, or anything else. Digital platforms work best when they are treated more as a commons or public utility than as a vehicle for profit making.

Just thinking about the flawed way that Dating Apps work, how much better do you think people's outcomes would be if the pay walled features were just a normal part of the app?

How much better people's interactions would be if profiles were sorted by who's online rather than whose profile gets the most attention.

Dating is about meeting people, and there should be as little coming between that as possible.

Which is why I think these platforms ought to be liquidated or repurposed into non-profit utilities.

TL;DR: Deprivatizing love would do wonders for our collective mental and social well being.

It's really not normal for people to be this stressed and put off from each other. And there are solutions.