Do women use 'casual sex' as a way to 'relationship zone' men? Or do men and women understand 'casual' differently?

harmonica2 · 2023-12-27T00:54:20+00:00

I've had a couple of women say they wanted a FWB and that's what they were looking for, only to want to date me later, so that was either their plan all along, and they thought that FWB was the best way in, or they changed their mind later and wanted more.

ktdotnova · 2023-12-27T07:42:54+00:00

For women, their FWB is generally someone out of their league and the FWB situation is the scraps they receive... not like it's a choice they had. That's why men and women view and react to casual sex with such contrast.

Zabadoodude · 2023-12-27T01:34:35+00:00

I've heard female friends straight up say that was their plan. Others honestly just want casual then catch feelings (as often happens when you're regularly fucking)

social_mule · 2023-12-27T03:16:45+00:00

Narcissistic women use sex bombing to lure and trap men the same way narcissistic men use love bombing to lure and trap women. There is such a thing as casual sex but what you're describing as casual sex is actually sex bombing (ie giving a man all the fucking and sucking he can handle under the guise of "keeping it NSA" then making increasing "boyfriend" demands of him).

So the short answer is yes.

No-Rough-7390 · 2023-12-27T14:41:53+00:00

Women rarely fuck men they don’t have feelings fit in some capacity.

anonymousUser1SHIFT · 2023-12-27T09:25:24+00:00

I actually see this in college a lot. A fair number of relationships are formed by having a hook up, and the continuing to hook up until they end up dating (it's really ducking weird).

However multiple times more peoples feelings get hurt because they do the same shit, but a relationship is never formed because one of them just wanted hookups and not a relationship.

Likewise, I see way way more woman blaming men for being the ass/dick/manipulative even though they both doing the same shit and just hoping in works out the way they want it to.

As a heads up, fucking someone several times in hopes they ask you out is a really absolutely fucking stupid way to try and get into a relationship with them. Like just saying I don't know what these people, mostly women, were expecting to happen.

h1shman · 2023-12-27T16:35:56+00:00

There’s hardly a single woman I’ve slept with more than a handful of times that didn’t catch feelings eventually. Women absolutely use sex as a means to make a guy like her after she inevitably starts wanting more.

HTML_Novice · 2023-12-27T01:00:43+00:00

Every single girl I’ve hooked up with over my lifetime I could have had as a girlfriend if I wanted it. I think that explains enough

BackToTheMoon_ · 2023-12-27T01:03:51+00:00

Whenever im casually fucking a woman, they either asked to hang out or ask to come over to fuck

Ive never had a woman try to get relationship benefits from me when we agreed to casual

apresonly · 2023-12-27T01:05:22+00:00

men and women understand casual relationships differently.

i find it easy to respect men i have casual sex with, communicate with them so they know what's going on with me (if i am only looking to see them once or if i am playing it by ear, if i live in a different city and am just visiting or something, general things that would affect his thought process about me), and being cooperative during our time together.

men say this is a lot of effort and that they should be able to do whatever basically, which is very weird and dystopian to me but it does track bc men also treat themselves and other men like this.

so it's like women want men to treat women like women treat their men or other women and men want to treat people in their own style and these two things aren't compatible.

someone taking you out for food is a date. why would you take a girl you only want sex from out on a date. that's leading her on to think you want a relationship.

some of these are weird like texting every day is dumb and men should be able to communicate that they don't want to do that. if i feel that is the other person's expectation i will say "ok i am going to do x now. i am going to be busy this week but i will plan to check in with you on x day and see how your week is going/to discuss when we can get together next".

i have never asked a guy to move bc multiple men hinted to me that they would not help me move if i asked (i never asked or was considering asking) to this day i have a thing about asking men for help. i won't do it. i'll hire a taskrabbit stranger to come over and do something for me before i will ask someone i am dating. but in any case the "btw i won't help you move" line is a great way to send the message that you do not gaf about this girl (which is helpful to the girl to know).

yes people doing casual sex w the same person more than once should say if they are sleeping with other people. this is a hygeine issue.

no one owes anyone else moving in. that's dumb.

mrcs84usn · 2023-12-27T03:48:28+00:00

I think #4 is reasonable. The rest sound like they are pushing for something more than casual.

I also think that in this day and age, people have sex early, and then flesh out the relationship as things continue. I can’t think of a single relationship I’ve been in where it took longer than a month for sex to happen.

I think Roosh said way back when that it takes about 7 hours of in-person interaction for sex to happen, which kind of coincides with the 3 date rule.

ta06012022 · 2023-12-27T04:16:51+00:00

It’s all over the place, because people are all over the place. I’ve had a couple girls that only wanted fwb when I wanted more. That will happen. The other way will happen. Huge variability in humans.

Gold_Supermarket1956 · 2023-12-27T09:31:37+00:00

Women use casual sex as a way to cope with them never knowing what they actually want so they search this way it's also used to test a partners sexual compatibility.

InflationFuture1966 · 2023-12-27T12:53:24+00:00

Always had the experience you described.

mybotisonfire · 2023-12-28T01:11:01+00:00

Yep. It's a thing.

Women don't have "casual sex".

They have "situationships" with hot dreamy guys that they try and turn into relationships.

If it didn't turn out, well, it was because of some bad astrological scenario or some damned thing. Not because she was hitting above her weight and getting sport fucked by a guy out of her league. Naw... that NEVER happens.

Situationship.

Green-Quantity1032 · 2023-12-28T04:08:50+00:00

It's kinda the same like guys trying to 'be friends' first.

Some guys actually want friends, but a lot use it as strategy

Scarce12 · 2023-12-28T05:15:45+00:00

It's Schrödinger's feminism: a situation is simultaneously casual and courtship until something observable from the outside world occurs, at which point she chooses explanations of victimhood and empowerment depending on which state benefits her the most.

Example A: A girl has an FWB but meets a high value betabux and starts dating him. In an act of empowerment, after 3 months of him paying dinners, she dumps the FWB and announces to the betabux that she's ready for sex, but please be careful because she just had her heart broken by a guy that just wanted sex.

Example B: An FWB leaves the situation because he wants something serious. She announces victimhood that she got played by a player and men just want sex and women are better off single and empowered and having sex with whoever they want as a revenge thing.

Example C: An FWB states he wants something more serious. In an act of empowerment she discusses boundaries and expresses victomhood in how the patriarchy just want to control her sexuality.

The important thing to note is the dual role empowerment and victimhood play in protraying feminism as a journey - a perpetual road forward, and not a goal of itself.

SameNotice4306 · 2023-12-27T01:30:04+00:00

I see you’re a fan of content machine.

MistyMaisel · 2023-12-27T03:03:18+00:00

I think minds change as people get to know each other generally. I do think a lot of men hear casual sex only and proceed to treat their friends with benefits like a fleshlight forgetting they're friends too and even hook ups can be treated with some interest and decency.

But no, I don't think loads of women are using casual to get to relationship, I think they mostly change their mind and read into things from that which sometimes works and sometimes doesn't.

Barneysparky · 2023-12-27T00:57:35+00:00

How would someone know they want a relationship with you without getting to know you?

nemma88 · 2023-12-27T01:08:43+00:00

Casual is non committal, anything is on the table under that umbrella including a more friendly relationship with sex. I can't imagine wanting sex with someone I'm not spending time with as a friend also.

I think some of the points are a bit overboard. If they're looking to move in then sure.

Cethlinnstooth · 2023-12-27T01:15:18+00:00

A FWB situation isn't a marriage. And...that applies to both parties? It seems to me that the man and woman you describe are getting upset at different aspects of it not being marriage-like. She wants it to change to be more supportive...more marriage-like. He on the other hand wants it to be a stable long term situation that doesn't just puff out of existence like a cloud of smoke when the desires of the other person change...he also wants it to be more marriage-like just a different aspect of marriage, the shared commitment to it being ongoing.

I don't think people generally enter casual relationships with the intention of making them less casual. However that's often what happens. It can happen on either side.

It's ludicrous to expect a continuing certainty of an intimate relationship unless the relationship is a supportive one. Humans are mostly wired up to want support from their primary relationship. You don't generally just find yourself a FWB and that's your sex needs taken care of forever. The usual thing is the relationship ceases to be what one or both of you want and you together decide to change it or move on. Maybe one of you moved on because the relationship is taking up space that needs to be occupied by a more supportive relationship... that's a normal end to a FWB relationship. It's to be expected. FWB relationships don't come with reasonable expectations of permanency.

2023-12-27T04:15:17+00:00

yes, lower svm women use casual sex as a way to get attention from higher svm men who otherwise if they where open about thier intentions with from the start would never mess with them.

SlowEffective8146 · 2023-12-27T13:44:49+00:00

Almost every single girl who's given casual sex to me has expected a relationship at some point. A lot of women think they're earning brownie points with men by fucking/sucking, and eventually it will net a relationship.

Ayaka_Simp_ · 2023-12-27T15:10:58+00:00

Yeah. Women do this all the fucking time and its super exhausting. I just want to get my dick wet regularly. Unfortunately, every time I try fwb, they catch feelings or lie. Then I get left high and dry because I won't reciprocate their feelings.

Flightlessbirbz · 2023-12-27T02:19:15+00:00

Maybe they are just open to casual sex but also to a relationship after getting to know you and would like the chance to do that. Or maybe they think they can change your mind. I don’t think it’s the best strategy for starting a relationship, but tbh a lot of relationships do start casual these days.

Love-Is-Selfish · 2023-12-27T02:36:46+00:00

Do some women do? Maybe or probably. Do some women start with casual sex and then later change their mind? Maybe or probably. So what? Men do it sometimes as well.

AngeCruelle · 2023-12-27T02:10:02+00:00

People have sex and catch feelings. I don't think it's necessarily something they expect or set out to do.

If anything it seems that men are more vulnerable to this because there's a far more prevalent assumption that any woman who has recurring sexual encounters with you would be down for a relationship if you asked.

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januaryphilosopher · 2023-12-27T09:02:42+00:00

I think the problem is more that sustained casual sex with the same person usually leads to at least one side developing feelings, even if it's usually unintentional. It's quite hard to keep sleeping with someone yet somehow not care about them at all outside of that.

Wide-Illustrator2906 · 2023-12-27T14:22:04+00:00

Do women use casual sex as a way to work towards a relationship in hopes they can trick a man into getting feelings?

Most women who are in casual relationships want something more but cannot get it so they settle for hookups.

Casual relationships for most women = I want him but he only wants me for sex.

confused_makeup · 2023-12-27T20:55:07+00:00

I think 4 is the only one that's reasonable. Because of STDs it's completely fair to want to know if he/she's sleeping with others.

Personally i have only had a "FWB" situationship twice, and while i did "like" them both, as in, i found them attractive, i did not want or long for a relationship with either.

My last BF was FWB for a year before we dated. He caught feelings and asked me out on a date, not me. However, we also broke up due to horrible incompatibilities, so being friends and being sexually compatible doesn't mean that a relationship will work out.

SmilesRHere · 2023-12-27T22:21:39+00:00

A lot of FWB situations turn in to more serious relationships, or one side desiring to turn into a more serious relationship, which is your example.

Despite what a lot of people here seem to think, in real life guys fall for a woman who doesn’t want anything more than casual sex just as much as often as women fall for their casual guy.

So do women “use” casual sex as a way to build a relationship? Not anymore than men do.

Can a casual relationship create a desire to get more serious with someone? Very often, for one, the other, or both.

Is it likely that one, or the other waned something more from the start, absolutely, but this doesn’t apply only to women, a man is as likely as a woman to accept a casual relationship in the hopes that she will one day fall for him.

ta06012022 · 2023-12-28T05:07:05+00:00

In my experience, the answer is “neither”.

kochIndustriesRussia · 2023-12-30T14:07:29+00:00

They all use "oh I totally want to keep it casual" as a method of trying to lock down a keeper. I guess it works sometimes/most times? Every guy I know that started casual ended up there... myself included.

Title	Do women use 'casual sex' as a way to 'relationship zone' men? Or do men and women understand 'casual' differently?
Author	FutureBannedAccount2
Upvotes	9
Comments	93
Date	December 27, 2023 12:52 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/18rndmu/do_women_use_casual_sex_as_a_way_to_relationship/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/do-women-use-casual-sex-as-a-way-to-relationship.1241632 https://theredarchive.com/post/1241632

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