Make up and women

literaryhogwartian · 2024-01-05T11:11:43+00:00

I've never had a date pay for me in my life. Why would I? I wear a little maje up and pretty clothes because I like them. My husband doesn't give a damn whether I wear make or not, it is definitely not for him!

ConanTheCybrarian · 2024-01-05T10:20:34+00:00

this question has some of the most bad faith wording I've seen in a long time.

mrs_seng · 2024-01-05T08:16:35+00:00

So...basically you want to ask why should men pay? Coz if that is the case, then ask directly.

I"ll try to answer both separately.

Makeup/procedures/clothes

People want to look good because it makes them feel good. OP, when you are dressed in clothes that fit you nicely, you have your hair done, your beard done, you look put together, don't you feel good?

Makeup is used to look put together. You can't wear a fancy dress and bare face because there's a contrast, it doesn't look right.

Same with hair: imagine a cocktail dress, heels, good makeup and a bird's nest hair. You simply don't look put together.

Procedures come from insucurities - a big nose, thin lips, chubby cheeks, wrinkles, dark undereyes, scars, melasma, flat cheeks.

Men paying for the date

Usually you have a few mind sets:

The man pays because the woman wants a specific dynamic based on traditional values (man is the sole breadwinner, woman is a SAHM).

The man pays because the woman is entitled (my money is my money, his money is our money).

The man pays because of social construction (historically, the man paid and although times changed, this social construct remained).

The man pays because she puts in more effort to get ready so he should put in more effort as well, which means paying.

Personally, i encourage all women to pay 50-50 on dates so the man cannot expect anything in return (some men explicitly say they expect at least a bj because they paid for the date).

nytnaltx · 2024-01-05T14:20:13+00:00

My makeup costs about $40 a year, with use most days. I wear the same thing every day, including maybe a little extra eyeshadow on dates.

Who pays for the date has nothing to do with the cost of my makeup. Every guy I have dated has insisted on being the one to pay. I’ve even been told I shouldn’t have split the check when it came while the guy was in the restroom and I split it.

operation-spot · 2024-01-05T08:06:31+00:00

Who says that men need to pay for the cost of getting ready?

I do the same makeup every day and would buy the same clothes even if I wasn’t going out on a date so it’s not like I’ve drastically changed anything. I can assure you, the lady interviewed in Miami who said this is not representative of all women.

If you balk at the thought of going to an expensive restaurant that type of woman is not the one for you.

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2024-01-05T08:21:49+00:00

In my 32 years of life I've yet to meet a woman who expects men to pay for the date because she got dolled up. I'm sure women like that exist, I've seen the tik toks and whatnot but I doubt they're a significant enough percentage of the population.

Susiewoosiexyz · 2024-01-05T08:54:17+00:00

Another non-sensical post. Women don’t expect men to pay for a date because she got dressed up and wore makeup. These two things are unrelated.

AngeCruelle · 2024-01-05T19:52:20+00:00

All I need to keep my skin smooth and happy is basic Cetaphil twice a day and exfoliating once a week, so not very costly.

All of the times a man has paid for me he insisted. I've never encountered these men who are so eager to let you pay for yourself. If anything many men seem to take it as a sign they're being friendzoned or the woman doesn't want to see him again.

Ok_Grapefruit_631 · 2024-01-05T09:21:09+00:00

I don’t expect a man to pay for my date, make up makes me feel attractive/ better about myself it’s not just for men, it’s mostly for me if anything

YouHateTheMost · 2024-01-05T10:06:13+00:00

For once, I agree with you. Claiming that guys should pay for the work girls put into themselves is pretty much a message to the man that this woman sees herself as the trophy. Whether the man sees her as such as well will determine whether he will pay for the dates or not.

Side note on paying for dates, however: If a man seeks traditional relationship, I firmly believe that he should start paying for dates the moment him and the woman become exclusive (as in when he has a guarantee that she is committed to making it work with him). This shows that first, he has resources to support a family, and second, he does not hesitate to spend his resources not just on himself, but also on his family, for the mutual benefit.

apresonly · 2024-01-05T17:13:02+00:00

i stopped wearing makeup because of men saying things like this.

i'd rather not give y'all ammo so whatever, i'll opt out.

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Makuta_Servaela · 2024-01-05T15:05:43+00:00

Do you mean you've heard of women telling their boyfriend "give me money for my makeup", or just saying, "Since I put all this effort into looking good for you, you cover the cost of the dinner"? I'd think both are a bit rude, but that's as someone who doesn't really doll up for dates, I guess.

I think it just generally falls in the line of men not understanding how much women are "required" to do to be considered presentable. Again, I don't do any of that (shaving, makeup, bras, high heels, shapewear, etc), but at the cost of being considered messier, or even masculine. What women are generally expected to do to be considered presentable (not even just pretty, but presentable and not sickly) tends to involve drastic ways of altering their natural body- not just cleaning, but straight-up making themselves look as less like a normal female human as possible. While I don't think she should throw that on the man's shoulder to pay to present his gratitude, I can at least see where the perspective comes from.

WYenginerdWY · 2024-01-06T01:18:58+00:00

quite a lot of women feel like if they get all dolled up we should be paying for that

"Quite a lot" is an egregious overestimate of the number of women who actually hold this opinion

TSquaredRecovers · 2024-01-05T11:42:15+00:00

I never expected men to pay for me on dates. Years ago when I dating, I either went 50/50 with my partners or we switched taking turns paying for dates.

I don‘t see what this has to do with makeup at all. I’ve always worn makeup anyway because I enjoy it. Even after being married for almost decades, I still wear makeup most days.

You guys need to layoff the FnF and Whatever podcasts.

Infinite_Signal90 · 2024-01-05T10:27:18+00:00

Tbh I think the “I expect a man to pay cause I’m doing my makeup and hair” is post hoc rationalisation for explaining why it is somehow reasonable to expect a man to pay for you in this day and age. It’s not the reason they want you to pay. I’d say wanting a man to pay is more just wanting him to show investment up front. I’m not sure though that’s just me guessing. I always went 50/50 when I was single.

MistyMaisel · 2024-01-05T16:28:33+00:00

These things are not in contradiction.

I put all that stuff on because it makes me feel good or pretty. I don't do it all the time, but when I do, it's because I want to feel good and pretty. Sometimes the reason I want to feel good and pretty is because I feel it may be socially appropriate or expected to do so and I wish to fill that particular role. Per example, I may do it because there is a social expectation in the workplace for me to do so. The same is true for the date in some senses. I am still doing it for myself, but the thing I'm doing for myself is meeting a social expectation so that I don't feel bad or ugly from not meeting it.

My expectation that a man pay on a date is similar to this. He is of course free not to, but, then it is likely he will feel bad from not fulfilling his social expectation and I will feel badly about him not fulfilling his when I fulfilled mine so that I could feel good and pretty.

No, it is not vain to wish to feel pretty or good inside. No, it is not narcissistic to fulfill social expectations in order to not feel bad. Far from it even.

SwimmingTheme3736 · 2024-01-05T10:16:30+00:00

I buy my own make up etc always have apart from gifts

SlothMonster9 · 2024-01-05T12:04:46+00:00

I'm gonna say that the woman expecting a man to pay just cause she put effort into looking pretty on the date is a trash woman. These are women who think that their mere presence on the date is a service she is doing to that man. Yuck.

MateriallyRetarded · 2024-01-05T18:33:21+00:00

My face looks very plain without makeup, so I wear it to be attractive to men because I need their validation to have any self-esteem.

fakingandnotmakingit · 2024-01-06T11:05:02+00:00

So don't? Pay for dates?

Title	Make up and women
Author	Gold_Supermarket1956
Upvotes	1
Comments	97
Date	January 5, 2024 8:02 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/18z1n64/make_up_and_women/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/make-up-and-women.1242291 https://theredarchive.com/post/1242291

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