Opinions on: Texting should ONLY be for setting up dates

Atriev · 2019-11-07T13:24:43+00:00

If the girl keeps starting conversations, sure. Most girls don’t with me and I don’t with them. We save it for the dates.

PuroPincheGains · 2019-11-07T15:36:54+00:00

It's 2019. Texting ia a big deal. You don't have to constantly text, but you gotta build a little rapport before setting up the date logistics. You'll have less flakes if you take the time to do that.

Sexythrowaway252 · 2019-11-07T13:21:33+00:00

These days you pretty much have to be able to be engaging through texts as well as in person.

quinnmcd · 2019-11-07T13:50:04+00:00

I think texting to only set up dates is something this subs gets wrong. If you live in dangerous area girls aren't going to be as willing or eager to go out on a date with a random guy the just met. You don't want to text too much and let her use you for attention/valuation. You can still flirt and be sexual through messages, but you must have the same energy once you meet up for the date.

xcloutx · 2019-11-07T16:02:01+00:00

Idk if y’all are talking to older women like 30+ but following this advice is a great way for a girl to lose interest in you.

UWantThisName36 · 2019-11-07T14:10:36+00:00

I think it depends on how much value you conveyed thus far to the girl.

If she is super attracted to you and you set a very man to women vibe, while disqualifying along the way, I think texting just for plans is best.

If you came across a little boyfiendy, you're going to have to do more work.

Kratz177 · 2019-11-07T14:21:09+00:00

This is true. The fact that a lot of people don’t know this shows why the community is not getting results. If you follow Playing with fire you notice that to get laid on tinder the strategy is to optimize your profile(pro pics and a thought out profile) and use texting to set up dates and deal with objections. It’s not the gimmicky stuff that most coaches teach. to learn more(r/Crimsonpill)

jglover82 · 2019-11-07T15:30:04+00:00

unless u r her male gf

bournit · 2019-11-07T13:47:07+00:00

It's a little bit old. Text I think it's useful for "boiling the frog". I mean, she needs time (if she really needs), and also she needs one more important thing : knowing that you're an high value guy. So, chill out trought texts, never talk about serious things, take longer times to reply, and use texts as a "time consuming" commodity. For me texting is useful to take two days of chillout between approaching the girl and doing the date invitation.

Massap24 · 2019-11-07T14:40:19+00:00

Eh the problem is most guys over do it and give too much validation or say something fucked up through text that may be misinterpreted. You should text as lightly as possible and try to set up a date ASAP.

I’ve gamed and fucked quite a few women and I still will fuck up trying to game through text. It’s basically high risk low reward, because I can do so much better in person.

jodioloca · 2019-11-07T16:15:39+00:00

By being pen pal you what????? No, by being pen pal you are on her mind giving her the attention she will get from someone else if it isn't from you.

TwoTomatoMe · 2019-11-07T16:20:01+00:00

I think it obviously depends on age, situation, girl, ect, but I believe there is some truth to that. As someone in my mid 30s, I prefer this for girls I’ve yet to or have only gone on 1-4 dates with. It’s not like it’s some “code” I live by, it’s just how I prefer to go with it, and I’ve had no complaints for it.

axe122 · 2019-11-07T17:12:17+00:00

If she’s reaching out to you between dates through text then you don’t wanna ignore her. You just don’t wanna be chasing her for attention through text but I’ve had girlfriends I tried the text only to setup dates style with and it led to them getting pissed off and telling me they didn’t feel like I valued them every single time. Basically you gotta find a balance make sure she’s doing more of the texting than you are but from my personal experience I don’t think being robotic and only texting to strictly setup dates works unless it’s a super casual relationship but it’s all about feeling out the vibe and keeping things balanced you don’t have to text everyday.

MountainClimax · 2019-11-07T17:21:41+00:00

This is advice for upper class guys who have a lot of gold diggers chasing them.

However for the rest of us it's a bit different. Texting should usually have a goal of meeting up, but sometimes you need rapport or you're going to come off as too direct and creepy.

Also when a girl starts digging for too much info that's when you cut it off, call her, and set up a date/meet, or you cut her off completely. Too much info is a turn off because it removes mystery about you. Never ends well.

manonpoint_com · 2019-11-07T17:32:27+00:00

I agree w/this generally speaking for the first 1 or 2 dates. Later, it's different, but first one or two dates, focus on setting up dates. That doesn't mean your text should be: "Hey, want to do something Wednesday" out of the blue. It's fine to "Hey, how was your weekend?" as a first text, but you should be getting to the date very early in the process. Of course, if she initiates random conversation that's different. I can probably write a novel about why this is the case, but the gist of it is:

(1) Unless you met with some stupid phone gambit or other scam without actually building any attraction or interest, she wants you to ask her out, not beat around the bush (this includes if she gave you her number from online dating)

(2) Texting without asking them out risks screwing things up with little benefit. Most attraction is done in person, so your risk/reward of texting too much is bad. You can come off as needy, annoying, or just weird (why is this guy I haven't even met yet texting me all the time?). The benefit is modestly more attraction, but likely not enough to justify the risks.

(3) You want to be getting girls out very shortly after the number exchange (2-3 days), so there shouldn't need to be much texting before that first date, because, that first date is coming really soon. Most people who text a lot before the first date are delaying the first date too long.

Now, if the first date HAS to be delayed due to some logistical reasons, then it's a whole other ball game. Then you absolutely do need to text some in between to keep things warm, but even then, you still should have already tried to arrange a date!!

Sandvicheater · 2019-11-07T22:41:36+00:00

Is this a tinder, bumble, etc text? Then yeah you gotta play text Shakespeare with her.

Is this texting after a physical open and number close? Then yeah keep that shit to a minimum flirt and focus on texting for the next date.

Workamaholic · 2019-11-07T16:10:25+00:00

Text isn’t for communication beyond setting up a date but you may use it if she reaches out. Or you may send one thing to generate an emotional response if the date is farther than a week out. You have to kind of judge where you’re at with her and act accordingly.
When you do text you always want to generate an emotional response of some kind. I.e. she says “How’s your day going?” You say “It would be better if you were sitting on my lap.” You see what’s happening. It’s opening her up. Getting her to think about it without pushing the conversation further.
A certain amount of risk is important in text. So be a little playful, creative, and fun. But this doesn’t mean you reach out. Let her come to you or wonder what you’re up to. Would James Bond or Han Solo text? Probably not, so why are you?
Always cut your texts down to the bare bones. Don’t say too much. Make it a challenge for yourself to initiate an emotional response in your reply with the least words possible. Sometimes I’ll draft a text in another app and then force myself to cut at least 3 words from it. Brevity is very important.
End the conversation before it gets stale. She is craving the feeling of you, or she’s curious about you, it’s why she texts but don’t give it all away. I like to say something intriguing and then end it like “I have to run to dinner with some old friends and plan a bank heist. Have a goodnight darlin’. Just something to kind of poke at her a bit and end it. DO NOT REPLY if she questions further after that. You said goodnight and that’s what you mean. This is really important.
Try to avoid asking questions over text if possible. Whereas on dates ask a lot of questions. I’ve just noticed that if I’m asking questions over text I’m putting the other person in a position of power over me. Don’t give your power away.
Emojis are for pussies. Use them sparingly, at most mirror her usage when you must. It’s just not very manly.
Try to set up dates by calling. I know it’s hard but it really sets you apart. However if you must do it over text apply the “Tell Don’t Ask” Rule which is good on the phone too.

“Hey when are you free this week?” Is not bad. Really it’s fine but I’ve found it’s better to be direct and command like:

“Come out with me Sunday at 7 I want to blow your mind and I’ve got an idea that will do the trick”

Feel the difference? If she says no. She’s going to wonder what you’re up to. Most likely she’ll say. Can we do it this date instead I’m busy.

Then you can say. “Sure. I can blow your mind any day. Meet me X at X see you then. “

Then leave.

Most people are shit at texting. But if you employ those rules you’ll be a badass. Good luck.

EarthWarping · 2019-11-07T14:31:49+00:00

Before you meet her for the first time, yeah.

After a first date if it goes well then all bets are off

thegoldengoat19 · 2019-11-07T20:24:12+00:00

For the most part it’s a good idea. Obviously like everyone is saying, you can’t text her all day and about stupid shit. Should be kept short, fun, and flirty. It can work but you have to make all the right moves which is hard. Its just easier in person because body language dominates attraction rather than your words in a text. If you’ve mastered texting, it is a useful tool in your arsenal.

NookSwzy · 2019-11-07T23:20:15+00:00

Honestly it depends on the girl. Some girls will take offense if you only use texts to set up dates and nothing more. In her mind she feels like you only want her for sex and that's a turn off for some. On the flip side, some girls don't mind.

I usually just "read the room". If a girl reaches out to initiate a conversation, I'm not gonna ignore her. I respond until the conversation gets stale. And I only respond when I'm free so if I'm busy with work/sports/hanging with other friends, then I respond when I get a chance.

BehrGriss · 2019-11-08T00:47:53+00:00

If you think only texting "let's go on a date" is gonna make a woman want to go on a date with you, you're sorely mistaken. Flirt and talk sexually to LOTS of women. Do not have conversations with them, don't ask them about their day or tell them about yours. No questions at all besides flirty questions. They will not have much more to say than "Lol". Just keep dropping lines that make them giggle and they'll eventually give in when the time is right for them https://imgur.com/a/r8L8pW4

DaftOdyssey · 2019-11-07T13:55:41+00:00

I totally live by this rule. Even if she initiated the conversation, I'm always busy, so I let her know that's not the time right now

Papi-Zaddy · 2019-11-07T18:43:40+00:00

I am 18F in college and I say It depends on the girl. Of course I love being in person with my bf the best, even while we were talking. But when we aren’t together, I love being able to text him whenever I want. We always text while we aren’t together, and we FaceTime or audio call throughout the night.

Side story: my front camera broke not too long ago, and I have to use a spare phone that I share between my sisters.(I commute to school and live with my parents) Sometimes they keep it for long periods of time, and my boyfriend will start complaining about how he misses FaceTime and being able to see me when he wakes up during the night. It’s so cute!

Hardbarka · 2019-11-07T18:51:26+00:00

Are you under 24 ish years old and follow that statement youre gonna have a hard time.

MichaelBravo · 2019-11-07T20:38:05+00:00

with a woman you are dating to in person only?

This is a pretty big qualifier here.

If you're "dating" and you only use text for setting up a date, she might perceived you as being a selfish asshole who only wants to fuck her.
Which might be the case and maybe she's fine with that.

But if you're "dating" it seems some banter and communication on text or over Insta/FB messenger is sort of expected and seems polite and keeps some interest going.

Doesn't mean you've got to write a freaking novel, but if all you write are things like, "Friday, be ready at 8:30," and never anything else, it seems she'd likely think you're either stupid, have girlfriend, or you're only interested in fucking, nothing else, which might be fine with some, but probably not most.

your_nikka_2k20 · 2019-11-07T21:24:29+00:00

It's also 2019

ilker97tr · 2019-11-07T22:59:59+00:00

It depends on your age I believe if you are like 28 it will be used for setting up dates. But at my age it's normal to talk daily, sending each other memes etc. (22age)

folasanmi · 2019-11-07T23:47:36+00:00

Unless shes your girlfriend texts are only for setting up dates. well... unless you are blue pill. if it's early on, texting "how was your day" and "good morning after like one date communicates a level of neediness because it presumes you don't have anything better to do. but if it's your girlfriend sending that type of text should be sweet or enduring. see the difference?

chessman6500 · 2019-11-08T12:03:53+00:00

I do agree that you should only text to set up dates initially, then once you're in a relationship you can text more. If you don't the girl loses interest.

Esploratore_ · 2019-11-08T16:38:29+00:00

The girls you want to meet are the girls who don’t want you to text them all day about stupid shit. They’ll text you when they miss you and want you.

Ok of course they want you to text them all day everyday but you as someone who hopefully has something going on in your life you need to establish that you don’t have time for her all day.

She might be a fucking loser girl who needs all the attention all the time. NEXT. If you fall under that then that doesn’t make you any better.

cartrav · 2019-11-08T17:20:45+00:00

No! I disagree! I think continuous chatting is so fun and important for maintaining good rapport on and offline. I chat with my boys all day long and it's the best. And then we facetime too! Continuous texting is how you form relationships, platonic and otherwise.

sinbad2011 · 2019-11-09T15:25:47+00:00

texting is to be brief. keep it simple and set up a time to hang out.

Girls are dying to hang out.

FrankyCastiglione · 2019-11-07T14:05:23+00:00

This is idiotic. Why would you even consider such a thing?

Title	Opinions on: Texting should ONLY be for setting up dates
Author	Ur_X
Upvotes	61
Comments	99
Date	November 7, 2019 1:19 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/dsxlyu/opinions_on_texting_should_only_be_for_setting_up/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/opinions-on-texting-should-only-be-for-setting-up.1295159 https://theredarchive.com/post/1295159

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