Why do all the men here get into a panic over Mother’s Day? It’s like anxiety takes over. I could be wrong but I highly doubt the same sentiment is shared on the other side of the fence.

probebeta · 2024-05-14T19:26:18+00:00

I didn't give no two s***s about it. Just so you know...

AdForward5729 · 2024-05-12T22:43:10+00:00

As a person that has been diagnosed with. Anxiety and Panic disorder, I do overthink it too. However my divorce was finalized earlier this year and these special days should be for them and for us coming up.

Today I do not have my kids and this morning was tough. However as a man, you chose how you want to spend the day. I choose to relax in the CA sun, drink a couple of Ultras and smoke some dab and just know that my kids are with there mom and they’re happy. I’m happy and chilling at a distance.

foookie · 2024-05-12T00:47:14+00:00

My son is 8 and with me this weekend. I’ll have to buy his Mother’s Day present for her, it also happens to be her birthday.

I’ll get the boy a card and flowers for his mom, I might even wish her a good day.

I’m just happy she’s out of my life, she can go to Hell.

Unfortunately until my son is old enough I’ll be buying her something for him.

adventure_junkie67 · 2024-05-11T19:28:29+00:00

I've been mildly wrestling with this issue. Reading these posts and the variety of opinions helped me form mine. My kids are grown but I still want them and her to understand that I appreciate that she was a good mother for my kids. I'll get a small token gift and tell her HMD. In my opinion, it is all about the kids.

Initial_Astronaut_75 · 2024-05-11T16:50:42+00:00

It's like watching a car crash .It helps me keep my marriage together. And I don't give a fuck about some lonely strangers. lol 😆🤣 Why are you here?

Initial_Astronaut_75 · 2024-05-10T22:26:27+00:00

It is because Moms deserve to be honored and celebrated. My wife is the best. She takes care of anything and everything she's a strong woman.Basically she is the brains and the beauty in our marriage. We have been married for 20 years. I want her to feel appreciated and celebrated! I'm pretty dumb and I want her to have a perfect day and I stress about getting it right.

AffectionateFactor84 · 2024-05-10T21:25:44+00:00

I never did anything for her on Mother's Day after the divorce. last year, when I picked up the kids, I asked if they had plans for Mother's Day. said nothing was happening. she emailed me Sunday evening saying she had emailed me about spending the day with the kids.. of course she didn't.

Pierre509 · 2024-05-10T21:01:13+00:00

I honestly only think about my mom and sister on Mother’s Day.

Any-Dare-7261 · 2024-05-10T19:41:39+00:00

I have the kids this week and I’m not doing a goddamn thing for Mother’s Day.

HereinPA1 · 2024-05-10T17:27:29+00:00

Last year I made it a Mother’s Day weekend for her. A month later she dropped her bomb and never looked back. I’m grateful my kids are older so I don’t need to be involved, but she should not be celebrated whatsoever.

savage_cabbages · 2024-05-10T16:20:35+00:00

The kids with her this week - worked out well - I see my mom and g-mar - mothers day and that is just fabricated for retail though yeah - nice they get a day but pfffft -

Thevinegru2 · 2024-05-10T15:48:31+00:00

I have 2 of our 3 kids full time. They won’t even text her and it has nothing to do with me.

justme4556 · 2024-05-10T15:37:35+00:00

I don't give it much thought. Her borderline ass might throw a tantrum but she gets the same treatment I give all the other people I know are mothers including my own. A Happy Mother's day text. After that let her fume. Works needs done and bills gotta get paid.

WittyBeautiful7654 · 2024-05-10T15:21:06+00:00

Had not given it much thought.

Comfortable-Angle660 · 2024-05-10T13:50:52+00:00

I could care less, she chose her bed, she can die in it. My children would be far better off with her completely out of the picture.

rymo2019 · 2024-05-10T11:53:36+00:00

It’s for your kids, actually. Them. THEY will remember that you did it for THEM, despite the circumstances.

SelectionNo3078 · 2024-05-10T10:04:37+00:00

I’ll probably send her a text wishing her a happy day. Or maybe not. Idk. Fuck her avoidance and secrecy that got us here

Simple-Captain3421 · 2024-05-10T09:47:35+00:00

Exactly what I was thinking a few days ago. Not the Mother’s Day part but how men constantly seek a collaborative relationship with their ex by justifying them as the ‘child’s mother’ but women have no such intention. My ex thinks she is the single authority on our son and I have no role. This is particularly ironic as one of the key reasons for our divorce what that I wasn’t helping with childcare, which by the way again was controlled completely by her.

Now to Mother’s Day. I have encouraged my son and paid for the gifts that my son would give to his mom. Every single year. I never want to get between their relationship. But not a single year the courtesy was reciprocated. Not that I expect anything but links back to my original thought about what she thinks my role in our son’s life is.

upvotersfortruth · 2024-05-10T08:20:01+00:00

Just what we needed, yet another Mother's Day thread.

upvotersfortruth · 2024-05-10T08:12:15+00:00

Mother's Day gifts from the kids have nothing to do with me and her insofar as I'm concerned. Doesn't matter if we're fighting or all is copasetic, kids get her a gift and I facilitate (remind, pay and used to provide options but they can do that on their own now). It's not about me.

Other guys don't think that's the right thing to do, so be it. But looking down on guys who do it reflects more upon you than them.

One-Donkey-9418 · 2024-05-10T07:00:24+00:00

The kids are young adults/teenagers, they are into themselves at this point in their lives. I don't tell them anything on mother's day and I certainly don't talk to the ex then either.

Brucecris · 2024-05-10T05:54:10+00:00

I have a deep awareness of how my male privilege makes shit easier for me while harder for her. We have a shitty relationship and we close to the end but I can at the very least give 3 fucks and plan good shit if she considers Mother’s Day important. My 3 girls love it and I’m the better example in my opinion. And I’ll do this until we’re through because fuck her and her narcisssm avoidant persona and no-sex jerking of is bad mentality. I’m not sinking to her lows in front of my girls until either they graduate high school or Indecide to fire up the pen and sign my wife out of pasture.

Internal_Echidna5646 · 2024-05-10T05:26:22+00:00

It never is the same. On Mother's Day they usually want the day off to decompress etc , ok cool no big deal. But on Father's Day it's usually why don't you want to spend time with your kids?!

warwww · 2024-05-10T04:13:35+00:00

If the kids bring it up, then to make them happy I see no harm. But to white knight things in the hopes of this will show her how good I am is pure manipulation. There is no valor, honor or dignity in trying to manipulate someone into liking you.

This mode of thought is part of the reason why custody (in the absence of presumed 50/50) is often given or deferred to the mother. “She’s the mother of my kids”. I will give her all that she requests as not to make her upset.

…are you not the father of your kids? When did you become less important in the lives of your kids?

It is better to use that energy to forge ahead. I’d much rather have my kids see myself doing actual good works and deeds as opposed to the opposite: buying gifts or doing things to show another person how “good I am” or to like me.

Some ships once sailed never return to port…

henrysmyagent · 2024-05-10T04:07:03+00:00

You are mistaken about that. So-called single-mothers lose their crap every year on Father's Day demanding acknowledgment.

And expect abuse if you point out how most of them are single by choice.

kublakhan1816 · 2024-05-10T03:59:58+00:00

You know I think it’s the sub being most guys who are in their first year of divorce and separation. So it’s every single event in the year. How am I going to handle [Mother’s Day/birthday/thanksgiving/christmas]? I think it’s a no brainer in the second year: you just do. And the majority of comments are just let your kids get them something for those events. It’s still their mom.

I think that’s one reason they always say wait a year. It seems like an arbitrary amount of time. But it’s something we give meaning to as humans. We have so much that happens us during a year. Try to live without your partner. Well try. You are going to do so. We all are or have done it.

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