I believe Women "settling" is just biology.

boom-wham-slam · 2024-06-16T13:26:30+00:00

can you really blame what a reckless 18/20 year old girl does

Yes if you consider them people.

However it is what it is, and she'd treat you well, willing to have more kids with you, and overall you guys could see yourself being happy together. Would that not still be a win?

Broken frame. You have no obligation to settle down. If no young un baggaged woman wants you for a serious relationship, you don't HAVE TO marry a 35 year old with 2 kids. You could just stay casual because you don't provide and commit to single moms. You could have casual sex with young women knowing they will run off eventually because they don't want to settle down. You could go monk mode. You could do any other number of things. Why do you let an older woman's timeline call the shots when you can call your own shots?

Agile-Explanation263 · 2024-06-16T10:06:30+00:00

Its insulting to us while she gets to have her cake an eat it too.

People don't change that much, the thing they may use to get it might but that want for excitement and attraction will always remain and clearly I am not it if she didnt pick me back then.

Who am I to hold back someone from what they truly want and need. People are allowed to make mistakes but when that mistake results in a child or is more frequent that is inexcusable because there are plenty of warning signs, be it learning from other people, or people telling you who you're going to attract by acting a certain way and to at least tone down the behavior.

Usually its the mark of a truly selfish person who is a bad idea for being in a relationship with. That persons feelings will flip for you the moment you don't satiate tingles you've made them feel entitled to. Usually the changes they go through come from nessescity not an actual want or acknowledgement of fuck ups.

illusoryfindings · 2024-06-16T12:10:10+00:00

You're right, and I think everybody eventually settles in some form or another. It's not necessarily a bad thing, relationships are full of compromise, and those compromises begin even during the very early stages of sizing each other up.

The red pill rage towards women doing this is entirely misplaced. I was mad about it too as a young man, but not at women for doing it, just at the situation itself.

I didn't want to be the safe sweet stable boring guy who gets settled for after a girl's wild days, to me that was such a devastating fate, and at the time I was already on that trajectory, that it made me furious and I knew I had to make changes if I wanted to avoid it.

Most people will completely dodge any form of introspection and responsibility when they're mad about their situation. They either externalize it by blaming the world, or internalize it by hating themselves. Neither is particularly helpful, but they don't realize it.

DarayRaven · 2024-06-16T06:06:02+00:00

Would that not still be a win?

How is raising another man's semen a win ?

I don't care how hot she is, single moms are automatically disqualified

Silver_Past2313 · 2024-06-16T15:06:19+00:00

The behavior described gets in the way of mass formation of stable relationships that result in above replacement fertility.

Adept_Initial9916 · 2024-06-16T09:32:18+00:00

This would only be okay to admit if they were making those ""mistakes"" with all of us. They didn't.
As men we have to literally watch them go crazy on a cock carousel with young Chads while we sit there lonely, bitter, sad.

The same girls likely refused you in your youth and told you, you were not enough.
And only now, when she needs you, does she come back. Yeah, no thanks. Disgusting.

BigZaddyZ3 · 2024-06-16T06:16:25+00:00

I agree. But there might be certain truths that people never willingly accept. And things like this are probably a good example of that.

But you’re right. And this is where a lot of guys trip over their own logic anyways. Because they will say things like “women should stop chasing Chads and settle for their Looksmatch”… But then when 8/10 Becky “hits the wall” and becomes a 5/10, they get mad when she’s now ready to settle down with that 5/10 guy she rejected in her youth. Which is ironic because she’s literally doing the thing that Redpillers wanted her to do. She’s getting with her “Looksmatch” now that she’s declined in looks a bit. It just goes to show that some guys will never be happy regardless of whether she takes their advice or not.

AidsVictim · 2024-06-16T08:42:23+00:00

Guys will complain how women will get all "used" up and then come "crawling" back to them and their fedoras.

However I believe this is just how biology works.

I'm not sure what you mean. Compromise born out of circumstance doesn't really sound particularly "biology" driven. Yes there is a biological incentive to chase the endorphin rush of "exciting" lifestyles or partners but there's a ton of enculturated decision making still affecting this.

"Nature" for humans is fucking in your mid teens and probably getting pregnant with/impregnating your first partner.

In the context of modern society fucking around in your 20's is a choice made with a massive amount of informed cost and benefit analysis at your finger tips and in most Western cultures encouraged with little biological (i.e. pregnancy) repercussions. This is massive departure from "natural human biology" where people get raging hormones in their teens and start having babies with one of the 20 other potential partners in their tribe/village.

If you're a 30 year old man, can you really blame what a reckless 18/20 year old girl does. How she makes bad choices with the men she pursues, etc etc. same goes for the single 30 something year old girls you know now but with decisions they made as younger women.

Yes, I can. Why couldn't I?

Hoopy223 · 2024-06-16T14:37:17+00:00

Oh lord.

There are plenty of women who get with guys in their teens/20s and stay with the guy. The wedding happens after college etc. I’d say this is at least half.

Some women are manipulative and look for a boring guy with a good job, especially one without a lot of experience or with self esteem issues. That’s the mad rush for a wedding before age 30 crowd.

Finally the “settling” and the “beautiful friend with an ugly husband” are almost always regular, normal people having a normal relationship.

Higher_Standard548 · 2024-06-16T16:11:57+00:00

maybe if im 30, single and i have no good options i ll settle with a single mom or some former party slut, until then i ll keep searching for my princess and not the leftovers of the fraternity douchebags and thugs. they ll always be the last choice, cry about it.

Wide-Illustrator2906 · 2024-06-16T23:19:07+00:00

AF/BB and hypergamy are hard wired into women's genetic makeup. There is no changing this so complaining about it is pointless. Don't fall into that trap. The best thing you can do as a man is to position yourself to be a woman's best option. Whether that's through self-improvement, fitness, financial gains, social status or relocation is irrelevant. The only thing that matters is that you become the woman of your desires best choice

Purple_Kangaroo8549 · 2024-06-16T14:02:55+00:00

I'd rather burn every penny I have than pay for someone elses genetic trash.

BrainMarshal · 2024-06-16T07:13:00+00:00

Let's say a girl is an 8.5 in looks, and you're a 6. Let's say she has a kid, and you don't, and she probably wouldn't have looked at you if she had more options, and you wouldn't look at her if she was less attractive. However it is what it is, and she'd treat you well, willing to have more kids with you, and overall you guys could see yourself being happy together. Would that not still be a win?

Comedy gold. Though if I was divorced I'd be a single dad so it would be an equal situation for me. A childless dude tho? Not wise, dude, not wise.

TheRedPillRipper · 2024-06-16T09:44:31+00:00

this is just how biology works

In context to settling, the pivotal factor is choice. If a man plays his cards right, he’s going to have choice. Thus ‘winning’ will look very different.

This is what TRP promotes.

Godspeed and good luck!

MelodicCrow2264 · 2024-06-16T06:37:26+00:00

I’m not raising another man’s child.

SsRapier · 2024-06-16T13:51:50+00:00

Its as much of a win than it is a win being a cuckold. You can be proud of it as much as you want, the other normal people are laughing at you.

And no, i wouldnt "not look at her if she was a 4"

FirmQuarter6623 · 2024-06-16T10:28:02+00:00

Let's say a girl is an 8.5 in looks, and you're a 6

Raising another man's kids cannot be a win.

She's 8.5 in looks(SMV), but 2 in RMV. Pump and dump would be win here.

Pathosgrim · 2024-06-16T07:16:49+00:00

It is indeed biology. If the woman has a child from a previous relationship, then that child always comes first. Men will always be in last place. We're just there to support and should be grateful we're chosen. Don't worry, the aforementioned statement is how women generally feel.

Spyro7x3 · 2024-06-16T06:16:03+00:00

Well its an artificial cycle because naturally we didn't live as long and there was no birth control and entire legal system set up to benefit women over men. If you take all that away women will settle earlier.

Dramatic_Bench8441 · 2024-06-16T14:06:01+00:00

Can I control them, not necessarily today, but can I BLAME them? Absolutely. Burn me at the stake but life was better when women were a controlled asset by men. And I'm convinced from the things I've seen that they cannot handle freedom, choice, consequence, and liberty in the same way men can. They are truly civilization-destroying machines with weapons like hypergamy, "free love", and weaponized feminism.

The entire "settling" idea is dumb because it implies they should ever have much of a choice to begin with, which with all of these post-wall women running around, proves the point exactly. It is their biology in a sense that they've always innately wanted to just be used by multiple men like men fantasize about having sex with lots of women, but part of making civilization work is limiting those animalistic drives and letting the rational brain move us forward.

This always worked by giving a young daughter to be wed to a man so she could immediately have a purpose and goal that would keep her occupied and away from the evil we've precisely allowed in our modern West. Am I supposed to feel bad that she is "treated like property"? That's some feminist shit, and frankly I don't care

iamtheSenate____ · 2024-06-16T23:05:09+00:00

Men should never settle for chad scraps.

daddysgotanew · 2024-06-16T20:34:47+00:00

I don’t care how hot she is. Some other man’s saved game is not one that I’m going to play. Less and less men are going to as time progresses, thanks to the red pill going mainstream.

There’s a man I work with who is married to a woman with some other man’s crotch fruit. He is a miserable, bitter, broken, and unappreciated human being. The real dad is of course an unstable deadbeat, who comes around every other month with some cash to take the kid on a cool adventure that is way too expensive for step-dad to participate in, since he spends all of his money trying to live and support an ungrateful wife and said kid. I’m sure the wife meets up for some extracurriculars with the ex every now and then, since all she does is sit at home on her as all day. My coworker is nothing but a cash cow to her washed up ass.

But, he did it to himself, and has no one else to blame.

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LC1G · 2024-06-16T15:31:29+00:00

If they are happy with each other, completely a win. I would personally say I had a glow up in my 20s(happily married in my 40s currently). I have seen women go through that time in their life coming out not looking so good. They had a sense they were high value when they were younger, and they went down hill bad. They have some serious coping strategies. They are more common then women would like you to believe, probably because that is who they are.. I suspect that some women on this sub have had that life trajectory, and I am just basing it off some of their comments. My ife is not such a women. There are women who do maintain, or gain value. There are men who loose their mating value. It is interesting to me to see the change in hierarchy later in life, and how people deal. There are also people that just stay top tier, or not do so well for many reasons. If you find one of these devalued women, they will try to devalue you too. Chances are you will see are true high value women, and she will treat you like gold, because she may realize what she has. I think men find themselves with devalued women, and take those women's criticisms to heart. You should let anybody place you were they want you. Have your own agency, and find the right high value women for you. It may be possible. Those devalued women do not deserve your time of day. I truly believe that there is a segment of the male population that gets stuck in the judgment of devalued women. Please don't let anyone bring you down to their level. Reiterating the first part, if they are happy with each other, I do agree that is a win.

SaBahRub · 2024-06-16T15:36:20+00:00

What are men in their 20s doing, hmm?

abaxeron · 2024-06-17T00:40:53+00:00

If you're a 30 year old man, can you really blame what a reckless 18/20 year old girl does.

Despite once being a reckless teen myself, I somehow managed to lose my V-card to a physicist in training, not to a Nazi skinhead thug.

Not a hypothetical scenario.

should we really put so much weight on what a young 20 year old girl thinks and how they judge and pick partners just because they are the most valuable biologically?

Brett Kavanaugh was 53 when women collectively judged him on what he allegedly did at a party at the age of 17.

The older the girl is, the less games they play.

Yes; we in the craft call it "baby rabies onset".

Of course a girl in her early to mid 20s will be pickier and would want to find the best possible mate, looks, social status, income while she's in her prime.

No; she will optimize for thrills, regret her own choices, and then blame everyone else.

Would that not still be a win?

Depends. If she is a widow or got herself a baby because she wanted a baby, it's one scenario. If she's a divorcee, that's another case.

Sharp_Platform8958 · 2024-06-17T16:25:51+00:00

What you call settling can usually be reclassified as delusion and lack of ability to practice hypergamy. Self reflection is a healthy practice for everyone.

rag3light · 2024-06-16T06:29:14+00:00

Women never mature.

They simply avoid certain situations that in the past burned them.

Which means avoiding certain feelings.

Which often means aiming lower i.e. staying further away from men who have power over them.

But let's say you're just some 52 year old woman's type: she'll make the same stupid impulsive decisions

Old_Luck285 · 2024-06-16T12:05:24+00:00

Was thinking about opening a similar thread. So, thanks!

I think men and women are really similar in their preferences but different in how they can act them out:

I their late teens to early/mid twenties, the huge majority of people don't want to settle down and have kids. They want to persue an education, travel, party and have sex (anything from casual to LTR).

For most women and the very attractive guys, the sex part is easy, so they persue it according to their preferences.

Late twenties, many people want to settle down and have kids. Who's attractive to women genuinely changes a bit. Yeah, good looks are still important but being dependable and stable is also important if you want to have kids. Also: many men experience a "glow up": they're looking more manly and often have a higher status. Women may be slightly less attractive than 10 years ago (from men's pov).

Result: around 30, avarage men and women have a similar SMV and similar life goals. Doesn't mean women are settling for a "betabux".

TL;DR: Is it unfair that the avarage and nerdy guys didn't have the same opportunities in their younger years as the hot guys and most girls? Sure, but that's just the way it is. Of course, avarage guys can be bitter and reject women who had more sexual opportunities but that doesn't give them more sex either. These men are basically mad at women for enjoying what they would have done the same, given the chance.

PS: I think the RP dream of dating women in their early twenties when the guy is in his thirties is only partially true: yes, as an attractive guy you will be able to date these women but only for shorter term relationships. Because, again, practically no-one wants to settle down in their early/mid twenties.

KayRay1994 · 2024-06-16T13:59:06+00:00

I think one thing that’s often missed with this discourse is that more often than not, what’s defined as ‘settling’ is simply aging and having your preferences and desires change. Now, of course, some women do literally settle and the betabux possibility does exist, but to pretend that’s inherently the case cause “you didn’t want me at your peak” is frankly an idea based off envy and pettiness.

Let’s put it this way, as you get older, your priorities start to shift and your idea of what life should/could look like will shift too. Suddenly, nights out aren’t as fun anymore, nor cause you got “used up”, but cause you realize how empty they are - even as a dude nights out stopped being fun a year or so ago. I value my sunday morning now. On top of this, you begin to want that long term stability and reliability rather the roller coster of peaks and valleys, you start to realize that this becomes unsustainable and more stressful than anything. You also start to value traits that make for a good father/husband rather than what’s exciting.

(and needless to say, she doesn’t have to have or even want kids to start seeing these changes)

Now, i know some dudes here will say “well that’s me she should’ve wanted me at her peak”, im gonna be honest - i think most men who live through this kind of envy actually don’t have those traits and would flip to the kind of guy they claim they hate if given the chance.

Intelligent-Club8973 · 2024-06-18T06:57:01+00:00

why do you act like 18-25yo are not adults? actions and choices have consequences, why do you want women to not suffer any?

If I go ahead and get someone pregnant, can I just brush it off as a mistake, since I am 19?

how about we start being accountable for our actions?

Title	I believe Women "settling" is just biology.
Author	LastBlackSamurai99
Upvotes	5
Comments	128
Date	June 16, 2024 5:57 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1dh11jq/i_believe_women_settling_is_just_biology/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/i-believe-women-settling-is-just-biology.1521685 https://theredarchive.com/post/1521685

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