https://www.thecut.com/article/tiktok-dating-influencers-marry-rich.html?ueid=0f3bbf1282fd9d784d78d0097311f969&utm_source=Sailthru&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=One%20Great%20Story%20-%20May%2031%2C%202024&utm_term=Subscription%20List%20-%20One%20Great%20Story

In 2022, Karla Elia was 22 and desperate to leave her parents’ house. She was disillusioned with school — it would only put her in debt, anyway — and tired of her job as a leasing agent for a rental property in San Diego. Her solution? Find a man who would provide for her. On Bumble, she met a 24-year-old in the military. Out on dates, she made it a point never to talk about her past, only how he fit into her future dreams; he showed her his credit and savings account, and Elia decided she could live within his means. Four months later, they were married. She sat in her car and recorded her revelations. “I just said, Ladies, I found a way for you to attract the man of your dreams,” Elia tells me. The video went viral. Elia completed a “relationship-coaching program” and started selling her expertise online. Though she doesn’t believe in contributing to the household bills, she couldn’t help but capitalize on the business momentum. “I said, this is a great opportunity for me to serve women and make it my long-term career,” Elia tells me. “What better ways to spend my days of —” she puts it in air quotes — “work?” Her follower count rose to 1 million.

This kind of advice is now everywhere. Women all over your “For You” page urge you to find a man willing to provide so you can leave behind some of your daily tribulations and exhale into a more comfortable life. The gist of what they’re shilling is simple: The “high-value” provider man does everything for his partner; in turn, she has the freedom to live a soft life. She can work or not work. She can, as Elia puts it, “finally have time to be a philosopher.”

In the age of women's liberation this is still around and growing in popularity among women. How can you be both liberated and want to be provided for so extravagantly? How do you get oil and water to mix like that?