If Dating Worked for Most Men Everything About Dating Would Flip on Women

bluehorserunning · 2024-12-18T20:45:31+00:00

the presumption that 'women not being available to high-status men' and 'women will look for love and compatibility in their 20's' means that 'low to middle status men will be able to sleep with as many women as they want' is laughable.

Also, be consistent: if you call it hypergamy when a woman wants a man above her own status, call it the same thing when a man wants a woman above his own status. *Everyone* wants the best partner they can get, regardless of which criteria are most important to measure 'best' for any given person.

NeedsSleepBadly · 2024-12-18T20:37:18+00:00

If you want to see what happens in such a world, look at bonobos. But we are built differently from bonobos so it wouldn’t happen. Pregnancy is still a huge risk. If guys didn’t settle down, th mother of their kids and their kids themselves would be in danger. That lifestyle doesn’t work for a species that needs high commitment to raising kids.

wtknight · 2024-12-18T20:59:38+00:00

It would work if women either did not have sex until marriage or at least until many months into the relationship after a man invested a significant amount of resources into her. Average men wouid not jump from woman to woman as much because it would be much more costly. The problem with this is that society is too hedonistic and thinks that sex should be fun. But the “sex is fun” attitude really benefits only high value men and women who are not easily emotionally hurt by messing around in the casual sex/short-term fling market.

EssentialPurity · 2024-12-18T21:21:38+00:00

We can fly in clouds of hypothetical contexts all we want, but this will change nothing because daydreaming is not a particularly productive activity.

I think your point would hold more water if you could demonstrate how, in practical terms, we could transition from our real world context to this hypothetical premise so we can see if the conclusions would be indeed what you envision.

Why? Because if your point relies on entirely fictional and unrealistic premises, then your hypothesis is useless. It would be like discussing what would houses look like if pigs could fly by psychically negating gravity.

RelevantJackWhite · 2024-12-18T21:11:07+00:00

what is it with all these posts here who just smack a sticker saying "it's biology" onto the side of a shit argument and then think that makes it scientific?

Lift_and_Lurk · 2024-12-18T22:06:15+00:00

Hold on. According to most the statistics around 90 percent of dudes are getting laid at least once a year

https://ifstudies.org/blog/is-the-sex-recession-over

So how is that not dating working for most men?!

I get lots of dudes would love MORE success more often, but the vast majority are getting something.

TopShelfSnipes · 2024-12-18T20:52:20+00:00

This seems like some weird revenge fantasy more than anything else.

But I'll bite. Let's remove women's fears of safety (which are a huge deal, btw). And let's assume women acted in the dating market with the sex drives of men and were quick to lower standards if their initial interest wasn't reciprocated.

What would happen is exactly the opposite of what happens now. Unattractive women would likely get overlooked, unattractive men would get inundated with unexpected messages from women they didn't find attractive, men who previously had fewer options and think they would be loyal would become more hypergamous and/or less loyal because they've literally never had options before, and top guys would be drowning in women's attention though it would be more aggressive by nature.

Some men would inherently become more selective as a result of this. Some men would inherently become more promiscuous as a result of this.

The numbers of incels would reduce, but a very small subset of men would continue to struggle enormously.

There would be little societal impact other than an uptick in unexpected/unplanned pregnancies that would likely become self-correcting over time. There wouldn't necessarily be more families formed, more longevity in relationships, nor an increase in relationship quality in the aggregate.

ThatBitchA · 2024-12-18T21:32:27+00:00

Dating does work for most men.

Inomaker · 2024-12-18T20:47:11+00:00

I got married at 20 and I had a healthy amount of options. I know I'm an outlier here but I'd like to understand what you think the overall benefit of settling down in the modern age is and why that seems like such a priority in your post.

If we're operating on the assumption that currently a decent chunk of men have fewer choices therefore settle down with someone they wouldn't ideally want as a partner but they're good enough and then suddenly they don't need to do that anymore; I don't see how that means men in general would be less willing to marry someone they find as an optimal partner unless the majority of men's motivation for getting into a relationship with women is for short term benefits.

EetinAintCheetin · 2024-12-18T21:14:25+00:00

Dating doesn’t work for most men because they give their power away. As simple as that. Dating app dynamics are just a symptoms of this. They are not the cause. As long as men cry to the heavens that they can’t life without pussy, they will continue to suffer the results of their choice to be simps.

ConstantCode8637 · 2024-12-18T22:35:43+00:00

Most of what you're saying goes against the biology of natural human mate selection. Women are not meant to be attracted to wide range of guys, similar to how men are attracted to a wide range of women.

They are really only meant to reproduce with guys who have genetics worth passing down and not only that but they have to show qualities of being a stable companion, and a secure father, if they choose to become parents. Many men do not possess these qualities, nor have genetics worth passing down.

Plus men have ALWAYS been less hypergamous because they naturally have lower standards, and just find many women attractive.

Dating sites also work against mens favor bevause those apps are set up to priotize the male gaze. Men seem to get off on physical appearanxe alone and have a heyday swiping on all kinds of women who are physically attractive to them. Meanwhile those sites remove the emotional aspect women use to pick their mates. So because these sites prioritize looks, women are left with choosing guys based on sexual attraction.

I'm sure every human alive thinks about having sex with the most attractive ppl, so this is why many of the most attractive guys are chosen.

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OffTheRedSand · 2024-12-18T21:38:49+00:00

Kind agree, not with all points tho but mostly with the conclusion.

I think what would happen is that the straight dating scene would just turn into the gay men’s dating scene lol so much sex no dates or relationships tho, but that is not appealing to women so it’ll never happen.

Wide-Illustrator2906 · 2024-12-18T23:00:04+00:00

It would mirror foreign countries like Colombia, Thailand and the Phillipines when western men visit. A lot of hooking up and a couple of marriages

Good_Cartographer531 · 2024-12-20T09:53:14+00:00

We would have radically different social structures in place. Marriage probably wouldn’t exist and children would be raised by their maternal extended family.

mashedturnip · 2024-12-18T22:43:59+00:00

What alternative is there to dating, now?

CalligrapherSimple39 · 2024-12-18T21:21:56+00:00

Degeneracy killed the biological clock for modern Western females. In fact many of them have no problem murdering THEIR OWN unborn child coz it might make me phat innit!

SO this theory is totally flawed.

Title	If Dating Worked for Most Men Everything About Dating Would Flip on Women
Author	rustlerhuskyjeans
Upvotes	0
Comments	159
Date	December 18, 2024 8:31 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1hhayv9/if_dating_worked_for_most_men_everything_about/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/if-dating-worked-for-most-men-everything-about.1538905 https://theredarchive.com/post/1538905

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