Would women prefer a man who has an ability(s) to obtain resources but currently has no resources to share with them or a man who already has a lot of resources but has no ability(s) to obtain resources?

My_House_on_Mars · 2025-07-21T16:46:30+00:00

You mean a slob that comes from a wealthy family VS poor guy who is an "entrepreneur"

idk this is really difficult, could go either way. I don't have a strong preference.

will the rich slob let me use his money and connections? Is he lifetime rich or new rich? Is he interested in other stuff or he just bedrots all day?

Why isn't the other guy able to get resources? Is he gambling his small savings in a startup instead of having a safe normal job?

lesliecarbone · 2025-07-21T16:40:50+00:00

INFO: How would one have a lot of resources but no ability to obtain resources?

leosandlattes · 2025-07-21T16:37:59+00:00

Almost every relationships starts out as the former, so I would assume most women would choose that. The vast majority people do not have any resources to share when young. College aged young adults / mid 20s adults date each other when they're broke as shit and, if they're looking for something long term, they're generally looking for someone they can build a life with.

Makuta_Servaela · 2025-07-21T16:44:15+00:00

Pretty straightforward question

Er, it's not, can you clarify? Like, can you give an example of these men?

Suspicious_Glove7365 · 2025-07-21T16:51:12+00:00

If the first guy plans to obtain resources using his skills and intellect and follows through with his efforts, then I pick the first one. I have my own money but I don’t want to be with a lazy bum. If the second guy has no ability to obtain because of an issue out of his control, like he’s disabled or something, then I’m fine with that guy. But if it is in his control and he’s just a lazy bum, but rich, then that’s incredibly unattractive to me, and I’d pass.

oppositegeneva · 2025-07-21T19:48:26+00:00

Man with ability but no resources currently

My husband worked low paying kitchen jobs during our early years, he’s now a successful software engineer.

Tylikcat · 2025-07-21T17:28:51+00:00

I'm not looking for resources from a man, though I am looking to avoid leeches. (Or at least undisclosed leeches. There might be circumstances where I am okay with supporting a partner.)

In my age range, I'd want to know what was going on in each case. (It's one thing for a twenty-something to be broke AF, but in your fifties, it calls for explanation. Similarly - someone with no ability to obtain resources? The fuck? Are we talking major disability or what?) But mostly this is orthogonal to criteria I use.

Sophiatab · 2025-07-21T17:39:33+00:00

It depends. If the man who already has a lot of resources, which I think we can safely define for this discussion as wealth, I would want him IF he agrees to put those resources under my control. I know how to preserve wealth. Now if he didn't want me to manage the money, or more literally the people I hire to manage the money; I would not want him.

CatallaxyRanch · 2025-07-21T19:03:41+00:00

You never know what life will bring, so I would prefer someone with demonstrated character and work ethic. Even if you're born into a fortune, it can be squandered if you don't know how to manage your money.

Lemon_gecko · 2025-07-21T16:38:33+00:00

Depends on
1. will he obtain resources and how fast, at what cost, how much
2. How many does he already have.

kalashhhhhhhh · 2025-07-21T17:45:49+00:00

Definitely A, and I'm currently in that relationship

RinoaRita · 2025-07-21T17:58:26+00:00

I would guess the former in theory. But in practice if a guy has no resources you don’t know he had the ability to obtain it.

Also while there are useless trust fund babies that would just squander their money or a crackhead who won the lotto, often times people with resources get their kids a decent education and imbue them with the ability to expand on their wealth. Even Paris Hilton who plays the dumb useless rich girl cashed in on that image.

So even in this scenario, the man with the ability to obtain resources would start accumulating them while dating. This isn’t would you prefer to marry and not be able to get a divorce but who would you prefer to date, I’m assuming. So yeah date the guy who’s doing something with himself and see where it goes.

Unless you’re trying to run your own business because there’s nothing saying you can date the guy with resources and then help him manage it. But it the reason who he can’t will be big. If he’s smart and fun but he’s got a genie’s curse I can mange the resources. If he’s just reckless and financially illiterate then probably not.

Xeltar · 2025-07-21T18:02:51+00:00

Just having resources in our society is often the best way to get more resources (money earns more money).

For dating, I really don't care, I'd prefer someone who is passionate about what they want to do even if it's not the most lucrative (and I don't much stock in climbing the corporate ladder or whatever). But just mentioning that the person with tons of resources can pretty easily just hire someone to manage their investments and get a pretty decent income stream.

badgersonice · 2025-07-22T16:35:44+00:00

You clearly have no idea how insanely fast a lazy rich idiot can hemorrhage money. The lazy rich idiot is a massive liability, and can take you down with him.

Hard pass. The lazy man mooching off mommy and daddy will mooch off of me and never get off his ass to support me in my job, in the home, or with the kids either. Just repulsive. What good is his mommy’s money if he’s such torture to be around?

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AllelWasHere · 2025-07-21T20:55:37+00:00

Depends if you're here for a good time or a long time

baller696969balls · 2025-07-22T02:25:20+00:00

This is honestly not something that’s crossed my mind. Completely twisting the question to give an answer, but: I’d prefer a man who values each of his currently owned resources (basically not mindlessly spending money, putting effort into something he cares about), and is comfortable with either obtaining or not obtaining resources based on his goals. So basically neither of these

ResponsibilityAny217 · 2025-07-22T04:40:40+00:00

I would pick the 2nd guy if he shared his resources.

If the 2nd guy didn't want to share his resources I'd probably stay single.

SwimmingTheme3736 · 2025-07-22T05:50:08+00:00

Witch one do I get on with the best money isn’t that important

Would women prefer a man who has an ability(s) to obtain resources but currently has no resources to share with them or a man who already has a lot of resources but has no ability(s) to obtain resources?

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"man who already has a lot of resources but has no ability(s) to obtain resources"