Picking up many women in your youth, will make it harder for you to have a healthy long term relationship

Iron-DBZ · 2025-09-26T14:35:32+00:00

Not picking up women in your youth will also make it harder.

The longer you spend without commitment the harder it will be to fit your life around it. However you spend your time, you're going to pick up baggage.

Naebany · 2025-09-26T15:11:35+00:00

It's the other way around. If you know you can easily pick women up, have abundance mentality you don't feel the need to prove to yourself that you can pick up another woman. You realize that sleeping with more and more women gets boring and you'd rather form deeper connection with one great gal. It's more satysfying and worth it in the long run.

InterestingGoose5507 · 2025-09-26T14:16:30+00:00

This is obvious and true for both genders!

ComfortableJeans · 2025-09-26T14:07:40+00:00

I don't know if it's true for most people, but I feel like this might be a chicken or the egg situation.

While it is true, in my personal experience, that a lot of the boys I grew up with who ran through girl after girl after girl, ended up in relationships, even now as adults, where they cheat near constantly. When I think of all my major pussy hound friends, they've all cheated on their partner at least once. And that's what I know. So there's likely more going on without my knowledge.

But could it not be that men who're more likely to bed a load of women are just more likely to cheat, rather than bedding a lot of women causing said man to cheat?

Perhaps bedding a lot of partners is a predictor of infidelity/poor relationships in future, rather than a cause?

It's also worth noting that women seem to have the same aversion to sexually loose partners that men do. A Global study found that willingness to consider someone as a long-term partner dropped sharply as past partner numbers increased. The effect was strongest between 4 and 12. There was no evidence of a sexual double standard. People were more accepting if new sexual encounters decreased over time.

Maybe there's something in us, both men and women, that sees the risk in a promiscuous partner? I don't know.

Dry-Lemon424 · 2025-09-26T14:00:34+00:00

If women date around, why can`t men also? At the same time, past a certain age, little to no experience with women will be damaging to someone`s self-esteem and confidence.

ConstipatedAvocado · 2025-09-26T14:06:05+00:00

So why doesnt this apply to women then?

Why is it anytime someone states anything about "pair bonding" or promiscuous women struggling with commitment, its shot down?

This is whats bugging a lot of people out, this ridiculous attempt to rewrite the realities on the genders especially in places like Reddit. Now apparently its men who want to have kids and get married and be stay at home dads. The sad reality is women dont adhere to this at all and still actively discriminate against men who dont express masculine gender roles. Meanwhile, god forbid a man hold a woman to the same expectations.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2025-09-26T16:04:25+00:00

As a young man who enjoyed the frat boy life, I can say this is patently false.

Because guys who pull women also catch feelings for women. Start to really listen and understand women. Start to realize and regret hurting women, even if unintentionally. Start to understand that hurt goes both ways sometimes.

And so when they find a woman that is a great match, not just physically: but emotionally, friendship wise and shared values, they KNOW how special that is. They know what it feels like when one or more of those things are missing. They recognize from experience how different and special this is.

And do of course they are gonna want to hang on to her! Of course they are going to want to spend as much time as they can with their “diamond in the rough”, of course they are going to want to stop playing the field: they just won the championship. It’s time to celebrate winning at life.

And the ones that haven’t pulled and have zero experience don’t get that. Because women aren’t people to them. They are just a consumable commodity to them. It doesn’t matter “who” any of these girls are- it’s just someone to use till the next thing they want.

That’s why they can’t actually pull. That’s also why they can’t actually define the “value” in HVM.

Anyone whose been in a fling can understand why a loving relationship is that much better

“More isn’t better it’s just more”

slazengerx · 2025-09-26T14:02:42+00:00

Ardor fades. Sex becomes less exciting as time passes no matter how hot your partner is. And if you have good options, you generally excercise them. Because you can.

Colt_Master · 2025-09-26T14:22:47+00:00

When you spot a new attractive woman, you will want to see if you’ve still got it.

you will have an abundance mindset when it’s come to women and no single woman will ever be on a pedestal.

These two statements are contradictory. Why do you want to see if you've still got it if you do truly have an abundance mindset? This seems like the viewpoint of an insecure person.

will make it harder for you to have a healthy long term relationship

When you’re a low value male, you may commit out of worry you’ll never be able to get a woman so hot again

How is this kind of desperation and settling for whatever you can out of fear of loneliness conductive to healthy relationships?

Also

healthy long term relationship

if you stay monogamous for a while, you always end up missing the dopamine cocktail that is picking up women.

Even if you have kids, eventually the arguments and problems that LTRs bring will mean you’d rather blame the relationship and find someone new. High value men will find it very hard to settle down and if they do stay monogamous it’s because of sheer discipline and constantly holding themselves back

If you discover that you lean towards polyamory or open relationships, is it truly unhealthy to learn that instead of repressing the feeling?

Your_Mommy_Loves_Me · 2025-09-27T04:06:13+00:00

Irl, it usually happens other way around. Men that fucked a lot of women have no problem sticking with one woman. You can't say that about sluts.

But, if you mean that hvm aren't going to tolerate bs from their wifes, then you're right.

Fellatio_Lover · 2025-09-26T21:08:43+00:00

I had a committed relationship and was with one person till i was 30. She dumped me and then I slept with about 50+ women over 5-6 years.

I will say i was much more insecure when i was inexperienced and with more experience i realized how replaceable we all are.

Terrible_Lift · 2025-09-27T00:25:49+00:00

Counter point - dating around lets you know very much what you can and cannot stand in a relationship.

SexCrispies · 2025-09-27T07:22:41+00:00

Then just don't be monogamous and have an open relationship. That is at least my way of dealing with the issue of abundance and limitating relationship constructs.

JadeGrapes · 2025-09-26T14:45:17+00:00

Thats not how it works at all. Only people from purity culture think that life experience diminishes you.

Check you logic;

If you have traveled and rented apartments in a lot of cities... are you better or worse at picking a place to settle down and buy a house? BETTER. You know what other places are like, and you know what your needs are... and you can EASILY choose a place that meets your needs because you know what is out there. You don't buy a dream house, in a vibrant city then spend you weeks wishing you were back on the ex-pat life of constant travel.

If you have had a lot of jobs, in a lot of industries... when you finally find a place where you can build a career; stimulating work, fair pay, good coworkers, normal sized commute... Are you more likely to know if you have a great job? Yes. Are you going to miss the days of job hopping around with different gigs, always being the new guy... not sure how you fit in or about the future... Or is it a HUGE RELIEF to finally have a place you fit in, that values your contributions, where you can trust your teammates to do their part.

If you have had a lot of cars, ones that break down, ones you borrowed or inherited... but never really choose, company work trucks, little compact cars that rattle the whole time, that one car that alllllways needs work... are you Able to correctly choose a good solid used car when you are finally in a good place and can PICK from the options on the lot instead of just getting stuck with whatever was nearby? You know what you want to drive, what things drive you nuts, which things are awesome. Once you get your solid reliable perfect fit for your lifestyle... are you going to miss the variety of rentals and borrowed cars... or is it nice to just finally have YOUR OWN, that you really thoughtfully chose?

Sexual experience and relationship experience only helps you KNOW YOURSELF well enough to make long term plans without wondering. You've seen the landscape, you know the drill... your ready to stop shopping and just finally buy-in.

NataliaCaptions · 2025-09-26T14:02:16+00:00

This is true What is also true is that men successful with women also see their true nature and posted "fields reports" on the internet for everyone to see.

You are not ready for the new generations of young men. A significant majority of them are redpill/blackpilled as fuck and no it's not "Tate", it's just the collective bluepill bubble popping out.

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Lemon_gecko · 2025-09-26T14:14:33+00:00

Is this an experiment? I saw post just like this but gender reversed yesterday.

Junior_Ad_3086 · 2025-09-26T15:42:31+00:00

being romantically inexperienced and not having (m)any options is a much bigger obstacle to being in a happy relationship imo. i suspect it's a common demographic of men for the 7 year itch divorces with women who married around the age of 30 or so because of their biological clock and social pressure. guys who pedestalize one woman, don't value themselves/have low self-esteem, who don't understand women and relationships. even the marriages like this that end up 'working out' long-term seem miserable to me because the husbands are often just docile to keep the peace and borderline trained by their wives.

that being said, i don't think the premise of the OP is necessarily true either. men's testosterone decreases with age and most just naturally become less interested in dating around. at some point, female validation doesn't carry as much weight for guys either when they already know they're able to attract a lot of women. most men in my circles have had fairly successful dating lives when they were younger and most of them are married now, some with kids, and loyal to their wives from what i can tell (for my close friends, i know it for a fact).

in my mid-30s, i honestly cba talking to a bunch of women, going on new dates all the time, being charming, creating a spark and so on just to have some protected sex at the end of the tunnel while also betraying my girlfriend. most guys who enjoy a decent amount of optionality will generally be with women who are compatible, beautiful, who they enjoy spending time with, who genuinely desire them and so on. the variety gets old for a lot of guys, especially considering the circumstances around it. i'm sure it's different for a list celebs, athletes and so on who have women throwing themselves at them but that's a very small percentage.

Silver_Standard_3693 · 2025-09-26T17:25:31+00:00

Or you get burnt out like me and reach a point where you literally turn down sex or ghost women who offer it to you. Or just can’t be bothered talking to women to the point where it’s painful to even think of responding

Shirtless_Jesus · 2025-09-26T17:25:44+00:00

Damn that’s so unattractive that I am rethinking casual hookups with men if it’s simply used to feed their egos rather than connect! Thanks for the insight

Intelligent-Insight · 2025-09-26T22:02:17+00:00

It's not as hard as picking up many young women. So if I person managed to do something that hard, they have better chance to do something less difficult such as having a healthy long term relationship than people who couldn't pick up many young women.

Logical_Breadfruit49 · 2025-09-27T07:19:41+00:00

This is one of the main reasons why marriage rates are tanking. Alphas become addicted to the pussy carousel, so they ride it permanently even when they get married. Betas can barely participate, and omegas are completely excluded.

Alphas become desensitized to sex and just expect it on the regular from lots of women. Betas become resentful of beta bux. Omegas just resort to porn and vidya. Women just become fed up with men.

Nobody is really happy.

JollyRoger66689 · 2025-09-27T07:21:31+00:00

That sounds a lot better than the reverse, sign me up!

Rebexl5150 · 2025-09-27T19:32:46+00:00

Only a small fraction of men can even pick up mutiple women. Most men struggle trying to get one let alone many mutiple women. Also it doesn't that's mainly true for women not for men.

AndreWattson · 2025-09-28T18:49:20+00:00

Not really it can make a man better at learning about how to best navigate dating. That way he can always have options if anything goes wrong. So he isn’t too desperate for any one chick.

Melodic_Structure928 · 2025-09-28T19:39:04+00:00

if you pick up not just one or two or three women during your youth but multiple, then as a men you have alot of good qualities that overcome any negatives with being a fuckboy.

women generally care about high body counts way less then men as well, to the point where it's much much worse to be a virgin then it is to be a fuckboy.

men are the opposite and women whose a bit of a whore will probably just have someone else's kid. women give birth so they really don't have these issue and can always pass on there genes regardless of how high cards body count is. if she's pregnant then that kids hers.

Sqweed69 · 2025-09-30T11:32:38+00:00

Yeah, this is proven by statistics. People with more casual experience tend to be more unfaithful later on and their LTR's tend to be shorter.

AndreWattson · 2025-09-30T17:01:29+00:00

Not at all, experience for a man is never a bad thing. Especially when it comes to dating.

Appropriate-Chest-16 · 2025-09-26T13:53:45+00:00

Men know this, they just dont care.

Reasonable_Mouse789 · 2025-09-26T14:02:20+00:00

Not really. It’s correlated, but I’m not addicted to chasing people. The hardest time I’m going to have saying “no” is when someone initiates with me, not when I have a whim to initiate. One is free, and the other would require time & effort. I think lots of other guys are similar.

“Dating” is pretty miserable as a process compared to the end result. The woman I’m currently with would take me forever to replace, I can’t just expect some random person to be a great match for me.

SeemedGood · 2025-09-26T17:02:17+00:00

Nah.

As a man, the more women you experience the less you value superficial looks and “variety” and the more you value character. You also discover the commonality of the first and the rarity of the second.

skeezinhookaz · 2025-09-26T15:26:07+00:00

wuteva

slleepin round dont make u want it more....bein a man does

itz our dna....itz our nature.....itz how we wired

we want lotza diff chicks....not just one....society make dat rule....not man....not nature

any guy sez otherwize lyin

Title	Picking up many women in your youth, will make it harder for you to have a healthy long term relationship
Author	reesespeezes
Upvotes	1
Comments	81
Date	September 26, 2025 9:12 AM UTC (9 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1nqwkao/picking_up_many_women_in_your_youth_will_make_it/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/picking-up-many-women-in-your-youth-will-make-it.1562859 https://theredarchive.com/post/1562859

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