Im a man, and it’s not like im some “player” (or “chad” as some might say) who’s been with tons of women, so I can only speak from my experience. I’m not going to claim I know what all women want and that all of them like certain personality traits or attributes. There’s obviously a lot of women out there from various backgrounds who like and value certain things. Which of course is a great thing because there’s also a diverse group of men out there who aren’t going to be attracted to the same type of women.

In general though, I feel like I can say confidently, if you’re not the most handsome guy, whether that be in terms of your face, your height, your body type, whatever else, and you feel like you’re lacking in different areas, I really do think you can make up for that when trying to approach women by just being a kind and caring person.

I was out for new years last night and managed to dance with and get the numbers of 3 different women. I was with them for awhile too. And I do not consider myself to be the best looking person. I mean I’m alright, I take care of myself, have good hygiene, etc, but I’m short (5’7) and overweight (250 lbs, it looks OK since I have some muscle and workout but no one is saying I’m skinny).

But when I was with these women, I tried to be very complimentary towards them, even if I was saying some corny shit lol, stuff like “man, everything about you is so beautiful” and then being more specific, talking about their hair, jewelry, nails, etc. Then if we were on the dance floor, I’d say something like “touching you is like touching gold”, and “your skin is perfect, it’s the softest thing I ever felt”. I think they could tell I meant it and therefore wanted to stay with me. Again, clearly I have no game here, saying stuff that might make you cringe, but at least I was trying to be kind and thoughtful.

Also if they went to the bathroom or something I’d hold their stuff (and goddamn I feel bad for how long ladies have to wait to get into the bathroom lmao) and I’d offer to get them stuff like drinks or food or whatever. Just putting in that extra effort to be attentive to them I think helped a lot. Plus I think it showed they trust me which is good.

Last thing I’ll mention is I would just ask before doing anything. Before grabbing them during a dance I would ask if it was OK for me to do that. And I tried to follow their lead. Maybe some women like a man who takes charge but I didn’t want to just assume I could touch wherever. I think a lot of women appreciate that. And it showed I wasn’t trying to be nice to them and then felt like I was owed something. Like “I complimented you, so therefore I deserve to have you”. If they told me no I wouldn’t have pressured any further and it wouldn’t have invalidated anything I told them.

So to reiterate - this will not apply to every single woman, obviously, they are not a monolith. But if you don’t feel like you’re the hottest guy wherever you’re at, you feel down because your short or because you look a certain way, and you don’t feel like you have the charisma and energy to get with women, just trying being kind and caring. In my experience there are a lot of women who value that and you might be more successful than you think.

But also- don’t just be kind and caring because you think that’ll get you with women. Just be that sort of person in general and don’t feel like you’re owed anything - always have the mindset that women don’t owe you shit. If you come across as genuine, that might help you get further than you think.