We live in an era where people are super sensitive to "power imbalances" in relationships. Let's take age-gaps for example. A 30 years old man dating a 20 years old woman comes with an innate power imbalance. I think most people would say so even if the man was just a mailman and the woman was a ​cashier (both working class). Ok, I can accept this. I do not think this makes such a relationship fundamentally toxic, but it's something to be mindful of.

Leonardo dicaprio dating young women. He is a huge​ movie star. For most of ​those women, having a chance at being with him​ must feel really exciting, surely. And it's almost like that in and of itself is seen by many ​as vulnerability on their end and an asshole move on his. To "use them" like that.

But then the idea of women, as the objectively more ​desired gender (​as highlighted by for example​ them getting several hundred times the matches on apps)​ ​having some sort of unique general *leverage* over men is met with ​nothing but disagreement and low-key disgust​ by women (and some posturing macho men). And that is​ not okay. "A ma​n should be able to control his dick". Okay, and maybe ​a 20 years old human should be able to stand up for themselves. Or should they not?

It's comparable. If women genuinely accepted that men are easier, they would be willing to entertain the idea that this comes with unique internal​ experiences that are, you know, ​literally real. That being in the position of having to prove yourself and initiate while you are easily drawn to someone ​is a vulnerable one, and that men with low self esteem can be taken advantage of in this area. That it can in fact be seen as a factor that can make it harder for men to say no sometimes. I'm not saying men SHOULD have low self-esteem or that if they do, they don't have work to do. But that's not what these conversations should only be about and they definitely aren't when it comes to vulnerable women.

One very direct example of this I have heard is that it is often ​an issue in the femdom side of kink communities​, where the men have to compete and stand out so much they feel like they can't have boundaries, and where genuinely abusive women can get away with a ​LOT. That's like the extremification of the issue, but I think it exists in more subtle ways in general.

​And i​t seems to me like this is all largely ignored and ridiculed. It ties into "lack of empathy" and women refusing to see their position as having any sort of advantage whatsoever. I'm not sayong that every woman is abusive, but still, ​women are not morally ​perfect​, and if this is a collective blindspot they virtually all share, that cannot be good.