It's very lonely being a single guy

AffectionateCold9 · 2026-06-30T07:12:04+00:00

I'm also very lonely and struggle with this on a daily basis, my ex cut me off from my friends and family and was coercive controlling and physically abusive towards me I've managed to reconnect with some people since the relationship ended but overall I'm still lonely and feel in hell, I'd love to be able to make some new friends but I don't know how to and I'm fearful of being hurt by people again.

Ok-Prompt-4464 · 2026-06-28T11:14:44+00:00

I will lead with this, someone walks in when you least expect it. Mine took 3 years post divorce.

Loneliness is real, therapy is the key. Most men are resistant to this, I was one of them until there was no other option (attempted unaliving). Please do the therapy work, it’s hard but when that someone did walk in to your life you’ll be mentally and emotionally prepared to handle the closeness again.

What I can say, the aloneness does fade as we learn a life by ourselves. We go from spending every waking hour with someone to no one at all. The random dates you’ll go on will feel weird bc how do we date again…you’ll think, just life with me already. These WILL come and go. You will date again even though it doesn’t feel like it.

Former_Tap_5471 · 2026-06-28T01:57:53+00:00

I'm finding the loneliness to be a little bothersome and I am rather introverted. I put myself all into this relationship and eventually a marriage, rarely going out with my friends, especially as her and I made new couples friends. I am trying to turn this around for myself, and hope it will get better once we sell the house later in the year and we aren't living under the same roof. I won't date or even hang out with women right now as I prefer to keep my life uncomplicated and also don't want to mess up someone else's life with my current state.

Tough_Jackfruit_7161 · 2026-06-27T10:24:54+00:00

For me it's a grind but I dont very often get a night off from the kids . Dating isnt my thing. Ive made some male friends and go to the gym but most of the time I miss adult conversation and sex. It sucks.

coffeefrog92 · 2026-06-26T17:53:13+00:00

Contact your old friends. Every man has disappeared when a woman came into the picture, and every man has had friends that have done the same. They will forgive you. Just be ready to get your balls broken a little.

Ok-Cause1108 · 2026-06-26T17:28:43+00:00

Gym and dog are non negotiables if you are a man.

Once you find out who you are as a person and love who you are you will never be lonely again. Being alone does not equal lonely.

Being in relationship does not mean you won't be lonely. If you don't know who you are or if you don't love yourself you'll be lonely as fuck in a relationship, you'll just be distracted from the feeling.

Longshot-Kapow · 2026-06-26T16:59:11+00:00

(Insert your problem here) = GO TO THE GYM!!

Beginning-Town-7609 · 2026-06-26T16:57:36+00:00

You didn’t ask for advice, OP so I won’t give it. However, I will share with you what I did to help alleviate loneliness. Some have already suggested the gym but that can be a lonely endeavor as well unless you go with a training partner. I decided to become a Freemason and have enjoyed brotherhood and belonging. I’m sure there are other fraternal options in your area. Good luck!

Strange-Penalty82 · 2026-06-26T16:20:41+00:00

It’s funny some women want their husbands to ditch their friends when they get married. Misery loves company, never cut your close male friends and brothers out of your life for women.

LowGradeCookingOil · 2026-06-26T15:54:40+00:00

Get a dog. Better yet, get two.

narkj · 2026-06-26T15:19:00+00:00

Get a dog, for real. ❤️

mynewromantica · 2026-06-26T15:15:56+00:00

It sucks and nobody actually gives a shit. They just repeat useless platitudes like “You just gotta put yourself out there.” 🙄

will23188 · 2026-06-26T14:35:13+00:00

Maybe its because im old (59) and was married for 34 years (2 years post-divorce), but i'm BLISSFULLY happy being alone. I have no desire for any relationship or frienships, and I relish just being alone. I do have two young grandaughters locally that I hangout with each weekend, but my days consist of work until 4pm, a quick home workout, then TV/PS5 with a bourbon. I love going to movies, museums, biking alone. I've just embraced my introverted nature and enjoy me.

DudeforRighteousness · 2026-06-26T14:28:22+00:00

You will be fine. Get in the gym.

tonyway7293 · 2026-06-26T11:48:52+00:00

It sucks. Experience it and get through it.

I did for about a year. Now…. My money is up, I have traveled, accomplished a bunch of projects and have a great FWB thing going on that checks my sexual needs off.

Get moving, don’t stay in the depressed mindset for too long brother.

Ok_Builder_3285 · 2026-06-26T11:41:16+00:00

It doesn’t get better, nothing helps.

I have friends and I do stuff, then every night after the kids are in bed I cry myself to sleep.

IAPiratesFan · 2026-06-26T11:00:18+00:00

After mine, I reconnected with friends my ex-wife didn’t like and told me not to hang out with during our marriage. You need to reconnect with your old friends like I did.

waggers5 · 2026-06-26T10:20:09+00:00

It really is. During my marriage my wife pretty much ran our social calendar, and that meant we'd see her family a heck of a lot more than we would see mine, so now I feel distant even from a lot of my extended family.

Fortunately I've managed to collect a small group of really trustworthy friends - one from my current workplace, one a former colleague, and a few people I met online years ago and have a subsequently met up with IRL. But even then it feels lonely.

Something I did find was quite a few old friends who I haven't had much contact with for ages suddenly offered to meet up for a chat and essentially be a shoulder to cry on. That was great at first, but several of them ended with "we should do this again/regularly" and then any time I tried to arrange another time with them, it fell through - and I can only guess they wanted to hear my side of the story out of their own interest but not necessarily actually be there to support me when I need it.

It's a tired old cliché but you really do learn who your real friends are when you go through something like this. That's not to say those other guys aren't still good mates, but they're not best friend territory.

bungleweed · 2026-06-26T09:55:42+00:00

Not sure how old you are etc but I’ve found what really helped me post divorce is running. Man that stuff releases some crazy feel good hormones. You don’t need to run that far or that fast to get those either but the sense of continuous improvement you get from it propels you forwards. Just push yourself a bit.

Boosts your energy levels, improves your overall mental health so much and I just think also helps with everything generally. Then I think you’re best self for whatever you want out of life. A lot of advice here says go to the gym and lift etc, but that’s not always the only route especially if you don’t enjoy lifting. Combining both is probably the best way. Like most things though you get back what you put in over time with hard work and it gets easier over time and brain starts to crave the exercise. You also feel you’re taking some control over your life too. There’s also a bit of a social circle around exercise no matter what it is. Choose your sport (doesn’t have to be running) and go and do it if you can. Anything that gets your heart rate up for a period of time will work.

Just a suggestion for those that could do this and are struggling a bit.

Icy-Friendship1163 · 2026-06-26T09:17:41+00:00

Most people are wolves that want to eat you and theft your resources .

You are better alone than around wolves.

Think that way.

Also r/vasectomy

IchabodLives · 2026-06-26T08:17:35+00:00

Trust me you don’t want to stay there, no matter what anyone says about freedom and stress it’s all crap. I’ve been divorced 12 years now I haven’t had a meaningful relationship with a woman since then and now I’m 47 and losing hope everyday

DntCareBears · 2026-06-26T07:09:12+00:00

Control your lust. Go to the gym, lift and get in shape. Stop telling yourself you need a relationship. Just date and protect your time.

syro23 · 2026-06-26T05:19:19+00:00

yeah. It's rough as you make that adjustment. You'll get used to it. The real worry is if you are like me and you start enjoying it and don't want to be with other people.

supernormalnorm · 2026-06-26T05:12:45+00:00

Watch John Griffin Life 2.0 on YouTube. You're missing the familiarity of being married and having another person around, not loneliness itself.

Look within yourself, you'll come out better. I truly think this is a gift to reshape our lives for the better.

Aeazy21 · 2026-06-26T04:31:37+00:00

Hang in there brother, I’m on the same boat as you. I think they call it season of solitude or something. Just know it doesn’t last forever. Fucking sucks but I just keep saying better days ahead.

Title	It's very lonely being a single guy
Author	Bush_M_aster
Upvotes	66
Comments	79
Date	June 26, 2026 4:05 AM UTC (1 month ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1ufw2cj/its_very_lonely_being_a_single_guy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/its-very-lonely-being-a-single-guy.1583644 https://theredarchive.com/post/1583644

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