Modern Dating Is a Humiliation Ritual for Most Men

Let me explain.

Progressive in Public, Traditional in Romance

I believe modern culture is fundamentally at odds with what people call “romance.” Despite being on equal socioeconomic footing, many women want to have their cake and eat it too. They want to earn as much as men, yet scoff at the idea of being with a man who earns the same amount—and God forbid, less than them.

“Progressive” women are often not nearly as progressive when it comes to relationships. She is rarely going to initiate, plan a date, organize and finance a trip, or buy flowers for a man. She may even scoff at the idea. Yet, of course, she quietly wants all of these things from her ideal man, even if she does not want to admit it. Women "hate nonchalant men" and want a man to "worships the ground she walks on." You have to wonder who is feeding their egos for them to think like this unironically.

Men’s Desperation and Women’s Leverage

Men in the West are often desperate and sexually frustrated. Recent data suggests that men now want children more than women do, which would have been wild to imagine a couple of decades ago. Women aren't out here shooting shots, risking rejection and public humiliation nearly at the same rates as men are. They're not risking "aura loss" as the kids call it.

When the topic of relationships comes up, the conversation is almost always about what the man brings to the table and whether the woman is happy—not usually the other way around. Both men and women are conditioned from a young age, through everything from Disney movies onward, to see “love” as a man’s performance and pursuit.

I personally know God-fearing men who are with women who are heavily tattooed and have much higher body counts than they do. Some of these men are also high-earning and conventionally good-looking. Women now have considerably more leverage than men. You have to ask yourself what kind of dating market—and yes, it is a market, because it practically functions as one—we live in for things to have reached this point.

Who Actually Makes Relationships Happen?

Effort matters. Women do not have to chase nearly as hard as men do. I do not even know where the myth that they do comes from.

Relationships seem to “just happen” to women. The only reason they feel that way is because someone else makes them happen through persistent effort—and that someone is usually a man. Men make relationships happen. I have personally had women bail on me once they realized I was not going to dance for them. I also got more positive attention from women when LARPd confidence and happiness. But you will notice a pattern where you are expected to jester as a male. No one has been able to give me a good reason for this other than bio essentialist crap like, "You are the man. You are substantially more desperate and horny. Therefore, you must chase if you don't want to die alone." Men think "How can I get her?" and women think "How can I get him to get me?" Big difference.

Man-Hating

Unironic misandry is quite popular among women right now. Women think they are better than men, laugh at their struggles, and think they are doing men a favour by being with them.

Questioning the Entire Framework of Romance

I might be a cynic, but I promise you that I am not “hating” on anyone. I am trying to get at something deeper: I am questioning the entire framework or script of this thing people call “romance.” The juice might not be worth the squeeze.