Do women have a blindspot when it comes to what they are attracted to?

DareyFathom · 2019-09-08T23:03:58+00:00

Pretty sure both genders have been proven in studies to have worse than random recognition of what traits they are attracted to. Largely because physical attraction is by far the dominant trait in both genders. I do believe men are much more honest about that than women.

Hennythepainaway · 2019-09-08T21:41:53+00:00

I mean isn't tall, dark, and handsome a thing. No one says they're generally more attracted to ugly people instead of attractive people.

I will say there are occasional exceptions to attraction that sometimes even I can't explain. Biology can be weird.

angels-fan · 2019-09-08T21:41:15+00:00

I mean, we have a phrase for this...

"Watch what they do, not what they say".

It's pretty basic RP 101 stuff.

What women claim to be attracted to is definitely NOT what they are actually attracted to.

Truedemocracy5 · 2019-09-08T23:10:13+00:00

Lol yes, this is obvious. It's why the red pill exists. Women are the 'fairer sex' and generally fall into 2 groups:

- Know what they want, but dont want to deal with societal repercussions, so lie about what they want

- legit have no idea what they want (hilariously most feminists fall in this camp)

Common examples of this are when women say things like they love receiving flowers and 'I love yous' often from their man, personality matters, you should ask for consent before literally anything, etc.

What is sad is many shmuck guys on Reddit see these women online and actually take their word for it

NockerJoe · 2019-09-08T21:39:34+00:00

One thing I notice from this sub is a lot of women will describe the guys they fuck as regular guys who are nice but when you have them talk about height or dick size or build they're very clearly above average in at least one regard nine times out of ten. But unless that specific thing comes up they won't think to mention it. They don't notice they have something statistically unusual, they just think that's average because actual average is invisible to them.

You could call this solipsism or projecting but I think one popular response to a thread on how to raise your sons show the other side. They want their sons to be regular guys who are regular with regular success. But regular guys don't really get regular success and building towards mediocrity isn't going to get you much as a man. But if in your head above average is just mediocre then working towards mediocrity will make you above average, it's not really gonna work out.

This is why books like No More Mr. Nice Guy put a direct link between the exploseion of spineless beta males with the explosion of single motherhood. Women don't put much thought into who they're attracted to and don't know what it takes to be successful as a man and so when they try to have someone build towards that it's much more likely to result in a janky and erratic man.

cicadary · 2019-09-08T22:25:21+00:00

as an average-ish (6 on a bad day, 8 on a good one) looking woman, i prefer ugly to average looking guys because they tend to be funnier and realer people (they weren't born ahead of everyone else so they actually have to focus on improving themselves). i hate to say that i have a preference, but if you look at my dating history it's pretty obvious. this is not a blindspot, this is literally just how i see men. a lot of girls like me exist but won't admit it, they pretend that their standards are super high because they feel like if they date a guy who is normal looking then they somehow have low self esteem. women like this are usually very lonely because they can't find the "perfect guy." they enter relationships with "chads" but these relationships are really short lasting and sexually motivated. this is not something i'm interested in, but some women are and that's fine, that's on them.

flamingoinghome · 2019-09-08T21:40:18+00:00

> Now to be frank I have noticed it in some men too but these men tend to be an exception.

I've found it to be the rule. Most men have fairly idiosyncratic preferences, but claim they just like "hot girls." They also tend to like promiscuity, and REALLY like women who are signaling promiscuity, much more than they pretend, for all the tradcon posturing on here saying otherwise.

But then, I'm a woman. There's a distinct chance that guys feel less open telling me about their sexual preferences than they do fellow guys. It could well be the same for women; most women I know are quite open about what they like, and have track records to match--but there's a decent chance they feel icky telling a guy about that.

goatismycopilot · 2019-09-08T22:07:31+00:00

I know what I find attractive. What I have noticed is here when PPD women say straight up say what or who they find attractive they are told they are lying or afraid to say what they really want after they just finished saying it. Men here at PPD pretty much ignore or discount responses here. Sort what the OP is likely to do. Or when women here say they find X attractive some idiot will jumping in and say noooooooooooooooooo laydee person you is not sentient you is not able to critically think stemmy logic and math and are irrational when menstruating so you cannot be honest about who you find attractive. That is why discussions like this are a huge waste of time.

angels-fan · 2019-09-08T21:34:54+00:00

what women THINK attracts them in a dude differs from what actually attracts them

I feel pretty sure there’s nothing that can dissuade you from this belief. It’s a terribly myopic mythology put forth by TRP. Sure it’s true there are people, men and women both, stunningly lacking in self awareness when it comes to this topic. Not many tho, I bet. Maybe even some that just don’t care to admit what attracts them because it embarrasses them or flies in the face of what they think their values are. But believe me, we know what is attractive to us. We know. And really, it beggars belief that a reasonably intelligent man can be convinced otherwise. Smh.

[deleted] · 2019-09-08T22:25:33+00:00

I don't think I have a blindspot. I think I'm pretty objective. I'm attracted to fat dudes. Part of it is that I just have an intense immediate reaction to seeing fat dudes. It's like a visceral thing. Fat bodies are visually appealing to me. A fat guy has me drooling.

But I also know that I like being the hot one in the relationship. It makes me feel confident. I always liked hooking up with nerdy fat dudes, because they were usually super grateful for the attention. They made me feel way more sexy and special than conventionally-attractive dudes do. Like I never worried too much about guys I dated looking around, because I was "out of their league" by conventional standards. (Didn't always work out for me-I'm not the only average-looking lady playing by that strategy).

There's some messed up stuff in there. That doesn't say awesome stuff about me and my intentions, but I'm aware of it, and my chubby husband doesn't give a shit. He always liked that I tried to be objective and honest.

I think most people are afraid to be honest about stuff like that because it makes them look crappy. I think I just don't care if I look crappy.

Most women probably don';t have a blind spot, but if they aren't being honest, it's out of fear of judgment. They probably know exactly why they like the types of dudes they do.

I think it would be a better world if we could all just admit the shitty parts of ourselves.

Plopolok · 2019-09-08T22:40:34+00:00

Some other possible factors:

You ask what they're attracted to for ONS, they reply what they're attracted to for marriage.

What they're attracted to is less important and maybe even less defined that you might think: they just fuck the men who approach them confidently and take them to bed.

[deleted] · 2019-09-09T03:36:55+00:00

Oh good, another thread where men tell women what they're attracted to

kandyapplez · 2019-09-08T21:52:18+00:00

It really baffles me how ,what women THINK attracts them in a dude differs from what actually attracts them.

omg, we know what we find attractive. why is it that men take women's gentle platitudes of "personality is what counts :)" when were trying to be nice to ugly dudes as us being genuinely delusional about our attractions. psssst, when women are alone, with no guys around, talking about guys, what do you think the conversations look like?

ohheyhi99 · 2019-09-08T21:30:23+00:00

No, we honestly do not. It is MEN that have no idea what it's like dating Chads.

"Women date assholes" - those "assholes" are positive, charismatic, fun, fit, exciting guys. FUN!

Yes, they are also often arrogant and selfish but this is bearable. We see it, we know it, we overlook it. No man is perfect, we all make compromises and we (women) care more about a fun/hot guy that we can show off to our friends than a boring simp.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PIb6AZdTr-A

FlavFal · 2019-09-08T23:04:45+00:00

Yes, I do like good looking men (and women). What I don't like is the typical "asshole" personality RP thinks all women are into. Never been with a man like that and never wish to be with one.

brinkleybuzz · 2019-09-08T22:17:34+00:00

Most women I know are aware of what they are attracted to, embrace it and will tell you if they believe you won't judge them for it.

NalkaNalka · 2019-09-08T21:44:42+00:00

It's a well known fact in the business world that what people say they want, think they want and what they actually end up choosing are frequently at odds. Women are no exception.

In the sexual marketplace how much difference exists between their stated preference and their reveled preference derives primarily from the distance between the socially acceptable model of choice making and the real one.

ThatMan11997 · 2019-09-08T21:30:28+00:00

Men do too. No one wants to admit that women are attracted to tall men who are good-looking. Men are control-freaks who don't wanna admit that their success or lack thereof is due to their looks.

Women want to take the high-ground. They don't wanna appear as superficial, mean or anything that doesn't appear to be virtuous. However, you can see now that society is changing and female sexuality and desire is put on a pedestal, more women are comfortable admitting what they really want.

webernicke · 2019-09-08T22:04:47+00:00

It's more like a Goldilocks complex than a blindspot

wtknight · 2019-09-08T22:44:21+00:00

There's a difference between who some women are rationally attracted to and who some women are instinctually attracted to. I don't think that it's something inherent to all women, though. It's kind of like knowing that certain foods are bad for you and not wanting to eat them, but getting tempted by them anyway. Some women can control themselves and not partake of those bad foods, and some women have never liked those foods, but some are a sucker for them.

Troy016 · 2019-09-09T03:02:14+00:00

I think it come to judgement and social acceptable speech. Most everyone knows that woman like a-holes and shit, guys who are fairly attractive , fun to be around, and propbably decent body frame . But females can’t really say that shit as they would be seen as shallow so they I like “guys who treat me well” “nice personality “. It basically means I want a guy who is attractive, popular , has an edge, and will fuck me good. But the thing is assholes usually carry these traits and it’s like a moth to a flame lmao. Essentially woman say bullshit about guys because they don’t wanna be judged or ridiculed .

matrixpush · 2019-09-09T03:24:31+00:00

Basically, every comment is saying "most men are dweebs".

Duh. lol

Ladyofblades · 2019-09-09T04:11:43+00:00

Eh, no. This I feel is a lack of experience in those in which it is actually dissonant. I don’t appreciate attempting to encapsulate attraction by gender as we’ve seen individual preference, environment and upbringing can make for very different scenarios. There may be some constants, but overall the picture of what you’re going to get will differ substantially. A (layman) third party is always going to be a biased observer as to what’s really going on.

czerdec · 2019-09-09T08:37:10+00:00

Wasn't there an experiment done where they hooked up women to vaginal sensors and then showed them porn videos?

As I remember, the women were asked to rate each video as sexy/unsexy. The results showed that even though they rated certain videos as unsexy, they got seriously aroused as recorded by the sensors.

This seems to be scientific proof that the OP is right about a lot of women. Women's brains hide their sexual thoughts away from their awareness. Right now, your brain is controlling your kidneys, but you have no awareness of it. I think female sexuality can be like that. It's more of a hidden process that the person herself doesn't necessarily know about. That's how you see women in their fifties become lesbians who spent their whole young lives not even knowing they craved women sexually.

Jathrowaway97 · 2019-09-09T09:56:58+00:00

Yes I thought personality trumped all and my attraction for a guy wouldn’t be affected by the “roles” we play/could play in a relationship. I’m slowly realizing that’s not true though.

[deleted] · 2019-09-09T16:12:44+00:00

When women say "i like a guy who's nice, good with kids, volunteers, tips waiters 25 percent, likes dogs" they're already imagining an attractive guy. Many times when we're honest about what we're PHYSICALLY attracted to, we get labelled shallow "but don't you want a guy with a good personalityyyy?"

badabing-badaboum · 2019-09-08T21:41:53+00:00

What’s in it for women to admit everything at face value? There’s no benefit. So they virtue signal, to keep suckers quiet.

[deleted] · 2019-09-08T23:34:24+00:00

I believe they know in private what type of men they are really attracted to, but they won't say it out in public, or at least only a small percentage of women will.

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AggravatingTartlet · 2019-09-09T00:45:27+00:00

> It really baffles me how ,what women THINK attracts them in a dude differs from what actually attracts them.

What does this even mean?

[deleted] · 2019-09-09T03:11:51+00:00

Most people do not understand their own attractions. You are programmed by a young age to want certain traits in a partner, and a lot of this is based on your parents. Not sexy.

SunflowerBurst · 2019-09-09T03:20:36+00:00

Do you maybe have a blind spot in thinking you know what traits attracted particular women to particular men, better than they themselves know?

[deleted] · 2019-09-09T03:52:13+00:00

Everyone has a blind spot, else we'd all get it right on the first shot. Can't tell you how many times a man or a woman has complained about someone "pulling the wool over their eyes."

Mystery_Tragic · 2019-09-09T06:02:43+00:00

I think we all can have a blindspot when it comes to attraction.

[deleted] · 2019-09-09T08:38:32+00:00

Women are just trying to be nice. They give politically correct responses when asked what attracts them, because that's what is expected of them.

NaturalQueer · 2019-09-09T17:50:56+00:00

I think also people are multifaceted, I can be attracted to multiple different types some more than others, and sometimes one thing will over ride another.

Take muscles as an example, I have dated mostly guys that don't have six packs and huge arms cause in general I don't really care to much for them, kind of indifferent if you will. But am I attracted to some men that happen to have abs, some famous men are very attractive but I am not attracted to them because they have abs, they might be tall, with a good face, nice and good hair. But in the end my favorite actors still follow my general type un muscular boys, often super super skinny nerd boys.

Now because everyone has so many different things about them, we can end up with people that don't always seem to fit what we've said but if you look at all the things we like not just the things we like the most you'll find compromise. Because no one person is going to have everything you like the most.

I normally date super tall guys that are pretty skinny often long hair and frequently blue eyes. My husband is one of the shorter guys I've been with, though still tall ish, brown eyes and isn't fat but isn't the normal skinny guy I have dated. But I never hated those things, and he has other things I love about him, in both personality and physicality.

Some women probably do, it can come from many things, social pressure, family, religion or mental/emotional health. But I don't think it's just that every women is completely clueless about what they like.

poulette12 · 2019-09-10T04:44:58+00:00

Reading some of these posts, what I, as a woman, am noticing, is a lot of men’s inability to differentiate between what makes a man attractive as someone to have sex with and attractive as someone to date. You need to be both in order to be a viable option for any woman. For anyone, for that matter. You may find someone very physically attractive and stick around just because of that for a bit, but eventually walk away because in the end that’s just not enough for someone who wants a well rounded partner. Or you choose to stay because the sex is good or something, and this is what you are looking for right now, in this moment, which doesn’t necessarily change what you are looking for long term. It’s like taking a part time job to pay the bills while looking for a full time, permanent job at your dream company.

On the other hand, you may find someone with a great personality and other great skills but does nothing for you sexually. You either settle for that or you don’t go there at all: there is no reason to willingly take a less than sexually satisfying relationship if you know you can find both in a different person. Switching from one to the other doesn’t mean women don’t know what they want: it means they’re giving different things a chance until they land on one complete picture for them.

I feel like these types of posts show a level of disrespect towards women: there is this arrogant assumption that just because you as a male don’t get it then all women must be stupid/weird/fickle don’t know what they want etc. Women don’t owe you an explanation for why they choose what they choose, and not choosing you when you want to be chosen is not some intrinsic flaw in women. More likely, you want to be chosen by women who simply don’t want you due to lack of physical attraction or other characteristic they find important. If you think you check off all the boxes in some women’s list and they still don’t pick you, it doesn’t mean they don’t know what they want: in fact, it means they know what they don’t want. That doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you or them: it’s just not the right fit.

If you’re looking for a woman 5’8 with dark hair, big boobs, a college degree and a good personality, you’ll probably find that thousands of people fit that criteria. That doesn’t mean they would all be relationship material to you.

katymarx · 2019-09-08T22:53:42+00:00

No, not exactly. They know exactly what they think. They just have a loose grasp on the reasons behind what they feel.

It is similar to how most guys can not accept that that their "love" and "chemistry" for an woman comes about from their partner's "sexual body", "sexual behavior" or their own sexual desperation.

Equally, women do not understand that their "love" and "chemistry" for a man comes about from their partner's "dark triad traits", "high sexual value" or "high economic value".

We humans have quite the skill to understand our own thoughts come from, but we also have a poor capability in understanding where our feelings come from. It takes decades of introspection. Something which most don't do.

When women say they want a "good man" they are being serious, it is what they think they want. Not what make them feel good. And most women follow what they feel not what they think.

That is why there is so many "I should love him, he is perfect, I don't understand why I can't love him" and " I should hate him, he is a criminal and a imbecile, Why do I love him so much?" from women.

[deleted] · 2019-09-09T12:57:32+00:00

I think it’s a bit of both. Women are both incapable of introspection on this and the sugar coating keeps them in denial.

Title	Do women have a blindspot when it comes to what they are attracted to?
Author	TheJim66
Upvotes	21
Comments	389
Date	September 8, 2019 9:21 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/d1h5kq/do_women_have_a_blindspot_when_it_comes_to_what/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/do-women-have-a-blindspot-when-it-comes-to-what.253989 https://theredarchive.com/post/253989

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