CMV As a man there is no reason to date, have sex, or get married

Merger-Arbitrage · 2018-07-26T03:09:28+00:00

If you want a human life partner of the opposite gender, you're going to have to date, you're probably going to have sex and maybe even get married.

The initial time costs and effort required are high - the risks afterwards exist too - but the rewards potentially lifelong and priceless.

No one is forcing you to do anything.

stats135 · 2018-07-26T04:13:03+00:00

I can easily ask the same question in reverse. Why the fuck would you want to focus on a career when its just a euphemism for corporate slavery. It doesn't matter how productive you are. With things like nepotism, feminism, and lookism so prevalent, you're out of luck if you don't know somebody, aren't a women, or aren't attractive. The rules of the game a stacked against you. Why waste time searching for jobs when you can instead focus on getting laid and having sex with beautiful women?

I do agree that a lot of things can and should take priority over anything emotional, love included. But what happens when you have already accomplished those things? In the short run life might seem hard. We start life studying as far back as we can remember, then we have to find work, and our health starts deteriorating a lot sooner than we think. But in the long run, life isn't that hard. Almost everybody ends up graduating,almost everybody gets a job of some sort, and for the most part life just goes on. As unforgiving as Dark Soul is, commit a few weeks to the game and you'd have the game beat. So what do you do once you've acquired the money, intelligence, and interests you set out to get? I focus a lot of my time on getting sex, not because it is a priority, but because it is the only thing left I haven't obtained. Self-improvement? I'm measuring myself on my own terms and as far as I'm concerned, I'm done with that. I'm an intelligence man that went to a prestigious university. A career? Well, I haven't really "made it" yet, but although I'm not on the fast track to success, I'm on the right track. Hobbies? I've learned enough to keep myself entertained for the rest of my life. So whats left?

blackedoutfast · 2018-07-26T05:37:51+00:00

I supposedly miss out on this human experience of love and itimacy as the benefit

how old are you?

have you ever had sex?

have you ever been in love?

An ideal relationship doesn't exist as it's an ideal. Same with looking for the perfect woman.

nothing in life is ideal. and you're far from perfect yourself so why the fuck do you think you should be entitled to a perfect woman.

Why waste time searching for something that's not that great when I can instead focus on my career, myself, and hobbies.

that shit is meaningless in comparison.

SoloBecomesMe · 2018-07-26T02:50:47+00:00

An ideal relationship doesn't exist as it's an ideal. Same with looking for the perfect woman. Why waste time searching for something that's not that great when I can instead focus on my career, myself, and hobbies.

A relationship, or a partner for that matter, doesn't need to be perfect or ideal to be fulfilling. You, your career, or your hobbies won't give you the satisfaction of a successful relationship, it's a goal in and of itself. If it's not a goal you feel is worth attaining, that's fine, whatever... But for those that want it, nothing else can take it's place.

squiddy_s550gt · 2018-07-26T02:53:59+00:00

Boredom tho. Hobbies and Xbox only take up so much time, and I'll be damned if I'm gonna spend it working .

Just never marry or cohabitate.

IncomeByEtnicity · 2018-07-26T06:19:35+00:00

Your concern and reasoning is Valid. The life you describe is the life of Monks, Nuns, etc. And I do believe there is a lot of happiness and satisfaction down those paths.

Good luck.

iam_hexxd · 2018-07-26T15:26:36+00:00

Your views speak for themselves. You absolutely shouldn’t date/have sex/marry because you’re already so biased against it that almost any serious relationship (whether dating or just sex) would likely end as a result. So until you have a change of heart, no point in trying to change your view.

nemma88 · 2018-07-26T09:36:03+00:00

OP, if you are still young, and have not experienced these things then you should try it and decide for yourself when you are informed, experience is the only way to understand this.

People have anecdotes all over the place. People pay child support - on the whole they would never wish their child wasn't born, that why people fight to see their kids. People get divorced - and on the whole want to get married again.

No one is taking to the internet in droves to talk about what is going well for them, and how great something is. The internet is heavily biased towards the negative aspects, but as you can see the actuality of those anecdotes for the most part they want the positives more than the brush's with negatives. No ones complaining about the positives for obvious reasons. Money is just 'stuff', besides food and shelter it is meaningless.

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abaxeron · 2018-07-26T04:12:05+00:00

Depends on the jurisdiction.

For example, in Italy widows are entitled to inherit the remains of the husband's retirement fund.

Which means, marriage is the only way to make sure that money taken away from you at gun point will at least be spent on someone who at least gave you a couple handjobs, rather than on totally random women.

reluctantly_red · 2018-07-26T04:20:46+00:00

The benefits -- as fleeting and ephemeral as they are -- are still worth it. Nothing gives me more happiness than my kids. I even quite enjoyed being married while it lasted.

Reminds me -- I need to get off the computer and call my GF. And put the kids to bed.

Yonderlander · 2018-07-26T11:08:24+00:00

Well, sex is very important to many of us humans.

petrichordium · 2018-07-26T15:28:14+00:00

This form of essay has undoubtedly taken the place of the “Why I’m Moving out of NYC” personal essay as the most insufferable and utterly pointless thing I wish people would stop doing.

We GET IT. Your neighborhood isn’t the same. Women are hypergamous or something. Chinese and Russian oligarchs own all the condos and you can’t afford your rent. You’re just too smart and sensitive for all those dumb whores. It was cooler in the early 00s/90s/80s/etc...

Please just leave and do something actually constructive with yourself.

themormonchurch · 2018-07-27T17:44:23+00:00

also don't ski cause you might hit a tree

what a fucking stupid post

captnjack2222 · 2018-07-26T04:14:53+00:00

I can’t defend marriage. It has its risks and I’m not convinced the rewards outweigh those risks but there are ways to limit some risk

But in terms of dating: there is no greater experience for a man than to have a women be in love with you. When you look into her eyes and see pure admiration, infatuation, desire and comfort it’s indescribable. In that moment you are her god, she looks at you like you are the only man that exists. Does it last forever? I don’t know, it’s always had an expiration date for me so far. But the few times I’ve experienced it has made any negatives of dating worth it. This is not the blue pill love fantasy. you cannot love her this way, but you can love that she loves you this way.

Sex: once again. If you are good at it, to see a woman in complete and total submissive ecstasy from you to the point where her whole body convulses and then to see her lay there, totally drained and unable to move. It makes you feel like you are doing exactly what nature intended for you to do. It makes all the work in the SMP worth it. I could not imagine living without experiencing that

Jammerly1 · 2018-07-26T06:08:24+00:00

Humans are hardwired to seek connection. You can literally die of loneliness.

Eastuss · 2018-07-26T07:06:51+00:00

Is your job providing money for doing basically nothing but existing? No? Then why bothering with working and have a career?

Ah you need money? Well some people need sex and bonding.

But even tho, why putting so much effort in to build a career, you'll never have the ideal job, and you might risk to be ruined by being fired or loosing the job for other reasons.

Relationships are like jobs, you put something in, you get something out. Sometimes it's shitty, sometimes it's less shitty. It's more often shitty than not, this is why people spend so much time searching.

the_calibre_cat · 2018-07-26T10:53:39+00:00

If I wasn't a biological organism who's sense of self-worth is tied to his his ability to secure intimacy with the opposite sex, sure, no reason to.

Unfortunately, I am, so there's very good reason to.

goatismycopilot · 2018-07-26T11:10:14+00:00

There is not an auto mod. My answer is okay don't do it. We all get to make our personal choices and deal with those consequences. Nobody in PPD is going to try and convince you that your choice is wrong for you.

wtknight · 2018-07-26T13:22:12+00:00

Some people are good at relationshipping and don’t have bad ends to their relationships, or if they do they learn from their mistakes and do better the next time. If someone is poor at relationships and doesn’t want to put in the work and trial and error to find a good relationship, then, yeah, he or she might as well just give up. But it is possible to have good, permanent relationships and, when you see other people around you in happy relationships, it’s impossible to deny this.

Five_Decades · 2018-07-26T13:34:19+00:00

If you want to have children, you need to have sex and getting married will help with raising children (although marriage isn't necessary to raising children, but it probably helps the kids. At least cohabitation does).

If you want meaningful companionship, then dating or marriage is a good idea too.

Also cohabitation reduces living expenses. You get to split your household expenses in half.

There are valid reasons to date and get married. You can have children, you can save money on living expenses, you can get companionship.

SoloBecomesMe · 2018-07-26T15:28:12+00:00

As a man you definitely need sex. It vastly improves your life. You become more confident, more attractive, happier, etc

Relationships on the other hand are ridiculously overrated, and are rarely worth it unless it's with your dual (the personality type opposite to yours)

VermiciousKnidzz · 2018-07-26T15:45:24+00:00

>I supposedly miss out on this human experience of love and itimacy as the benefit, but the cost is years of emotional and financial toil.

i think these are the main reasons to date and marry. also sharing benefits from work.

honestly relationships dont have to be as bleak as you paint it.

sometimes people are in relationships in which they are both satisfied and happy, both members are able to work on themselves and indulge in their own hobbies while still supporting each other and spending time with each other, and the relationship doesnt end in misery and divorce.

weaver420 · 2018-07-26T16:57:39+00:00

I agree but for women as well. Unfortunately most people are caught up in their biological drives telling them to pair off and have kids, while ignoring all the consequences and actually judging for themselves if the juice is worth the squeeze. And before im attacked, no im not saying people can't genuinely enjoy living the traditional cookie-cutter life with husband/wife and kids but i think few people think thoroughly about whether this choice is right for them, they mostly go with whats expected of them.

thereddespair · 2018-07-26T17:36:27+00:00

I believe that yeah maybe some men are really not meant to mate.

Whatevers in your heads, hatred, logic, nonsense, if you dont want to dont date.

FunctionalDepressive · 2018-07-26T19:50:26+00:00

I'd rather end myself than live alone.

killallthenarcs · 2018-07-26T23:08:35+00:00

"Who would play a game that's so rigged against yourself?"

You live, you work, you die. It is all rigged whether or not you decide to breed. I'm not trying to get you to breed. I'm just pointing out that years of emotional and financial toil then death is your reality whether or not you spend that time and effort on self or on others.

jkonrad · 2018-07-27T04:51:41+00:00

"CMV As SoloBecomesMe there is no reason to date, have sex, or get married."

FYP. And stop with the grand pronouncements based on your experiences.

KikiYuyu · 2018-07-27T09:36:07+00:00

Reason: You want to do it. That's literally it.

Pastelitomaracucho · 2018-07-28T07:20:58+00:00

Women are fun, loving, sexy, delicious and having them around makes you happy, at least for good while.

Quadtastrophe · 2018-07-28T17:39:56+00:00

That's a sad, depressed, hopeless, neurotic perspective. Even you admit that basically you just heard too many bad stories, too much anecdotal evidence. You're afraid of intimacy and connection and don't want to seek it. Ok, that's fine. but admit your neurosis. Your perspective is built on incorrect generalizations and projecting your fears across the world like they are rational when they are not.

You really should actually talk to a therapist if this post was genuine. Ask them about thought filters.

[deleted] · 2018-07-29T06:11:48+00:00

I think there's plenty of reasons to date, have sex or get married. Just because you can't get something doesn't remove worth from that thing. I think believing it does is mostly a coping mechanism that loser-guys engage in.

i_have_a_semicolon · 2018-07-29T15:38:51+00:00

Well men who have such a negative outlook on relationships sure. There not being a perfect thing doesn't mean there isn't something amazing out there. Lots of men who haven't closed themselves off to this possibility have found it even without looking or working very hard.

N0blesse0blige · 2018-07-30T03:57:10+00:00

Simple, you’ve conveniently left out having children of your own whom you get to see grow up with both their biological mom and dad. Experiencing the roles your parents and grandparents once had relative to yourself as a child. Seeing your own children grow up as your parents once saw you grow up. Hearing the innocent, genuinely happy. joyful laughter of children in your home, instead of watching Netflix alone on Friday night. Being relieved of the modern short-circuited self-love and preoccupation with self, and instead loving and being loved by your own family. Leaving a genetic legacy that continues long after you’re gone.

antariusz · 2018-08-02T08:32:46+00:00

Get your testosterone level checked...

Seriously.

One of the symptoms is low/no sex drive.

Whisper · 2018-08-02T09:15:48+00:00

Sour grapes.

prostate-apostate · 2018-07-26T05:33:36+00:00

You play so rigged because you are biologically programmed to seek sex and intimacy and the more you have of these things the happier you are . If you are attractive woman are nice and kind to you and go out of their way to please you , help you etc .

As a low value ugly men on the other hand you are totally fucked . And if you choose not to participate in a rigged game where your chances of success are slim to non It makes sense for you to not participate because you are more likely to get the Law thrown at you wether you fuck up or not .

SoloBecomesMe · 2018-07-26T17:48:32+00:00

There's tons of reasons to have sex. It's fun. It feels good. It takes care of a basic male need.

Agree on the no dating and no marriage part. But having sex is like food, water and air to men.

Title	CMV As a man there is no reason to date, have sex, or get married
Author	SoloBecomesMe
Upvotes	12
Comments	214
Date	July 26, 2018 2:37 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/91yezw/cmv_as_a_man_there_is_no_reason_to_date_have_sex/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/cmv-as-a-man-there-is-no-reason-to-date-have-sex.261376 https://theredarchive.com/post/261376

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