The problem isn't that men only want sex . The problem is that women want sex and so much more.

SpaceWhiskey · 2018-01-18T01:10:50+00:00

Because there are men out there who actually like all the “relationship stuff” and mutually enjoy spending time with women and talking to women they care about and don’t consider the words she says to be “whining”. Women are out to find relationships with those men. Some men pretend to care about women more than they do then get mad when they’re expected to keep up the act I guess? Their bad for lying. I don’t like soccer and I wouldn’t pretend to like it to get with a soccer enthusiast. I now either have to live a lie, which will build resentment on my part, or admit I lied, which will cause him to resent me.

It’s like you’re seriously asking women to fuck guys and not talk to them. That’s ridiculous.

monkeybeast55 · 2018-01-18T01:55:41+00:00

and someone to listen them whine..and someone to compliment them

I'm pretty sure that's more of a problem with men than with woman.

Once again I don't know where this stuff comes from. Take control of you and your relationship, or at least a full 50% control. So you don't like chick-flicks. Then let her go out to see that crap with her girlfriends. Speaking of whining, why are you whining about all this junk?

As far as only wanting sex from woman. I don't know anyone like that male or female. Maybe you run in very different crowds. The fundamental needs of human beings, male or female, are more heavily driven by psychology, and less by sexual gratification. This is true for the most alpha of alpha males. Anybody for whom this is not true is an outlier, and there's a good chance they have some deep problems.

So, I'm genuinely interested in where you get your perspective from? Are these conclusions from live observations in your social circles? And, if so, what age group? Party types? Construction workers? Software engineers? How socially active are you in the first place? Or do you reach these conclusions from media, including reddit? Do you live in a modern American diverse city? Or in a more rural setting? Are your friends and family more traditional, or melting pot?

I'm not trying to be nosy, or critical. Just trying to figure out where this world-view comes from. We all have our own perspectives. For myself, I come from a non-traditional background, and have lived both rural and urban. I'm older, have had mostly LTRs, and have never hung out in bars or tried to count how many times I hook up. My perspective is that generalization about the kind of things you cited just makes zero sense. Yes there are male vs. female traits. But individual differences dominate. And exploring individuals is much more interesting than trying to extrapolate generalizations. Unless you're trying to make movies or something that target common denominators.

storffish · 2018-01-18T00:00:04+00:00

women expect that much from their men because without modern technology that sex men want has a good chance of getting her pregnant. generally speaking they don't want to get stuck with the baby of some guy who's perfectly happy to skip off leaving her high and dry.

that aside, why the fuck are you dating women who make your life "a living hell?"

kandyapplez · 2018-01-18T07:02:38+00:00

I'm at a loss when people talk about men only wanting sex. Even when I was only looking for sex I kept getting involved with men who begged for more than that. Can't relate to this at all.

There are definitely men who just want sex from some women. But most of those men also want more than sex with a different group of women. I think women want to avoid the men who will place them in the first group, and they especially want to avoid those men who place them in the first group but initially act as if they're placing them in the second group.

haunting-you · 2018-01-18T00:32:20+00:00

men don’t only want sex; i don’t believe that about even most men (which is not to say that sex is meaningless to them, but that it is not the only thing that they value women for). there are a few shitheads happy to actively take advantage of girls that like them, lead them on, or just keep things ambiguous until they get sex and then just ditch the girl. it’s cruel, most of all, and generally just poor character.

Merger-Arbitrage · 2018-01-18T00:32:34+00:00

Why do women expect so much from men? Why do women expect so much from their relationships?

Men expect things from women, too. Some don't, but they are likely low-value and themselves don't know any better and therefore have low expectations. The proof is in the pudding here.

It's literally work for a man to please a woman a relationship. Yet women complain that men don't like the work.

It's not much work for a high-value man. If you're good, it will look and feel effortless.

All men ask is for frequent sex and to not nag them. You see how easy that is? Frequent sex and to not make his life miserable. The bar for what is required is soooooo low. And yet women complain that the bar is low.

Low-value men. After you've had sex 10? 100? 1000 times it loses its luster. There's more to life then sex. Really.

You here people say "Happy wife. Happy life" and it disgusts me.

I don't recall anyone here saying that recently, but that line is indeed lame as shit if you're just licking your wife's ass at the expense of your own happiness while getting nothing in return.

You're supposed to give some and take some.

RockinSocksII · 2018-01-18T04:11:04+00:00

All men ask is for frequent sex and to not nag them. Frequent sex and to not make his life miserable.

Hey, I manage to do this just fine. I often wonder if men get "nagged" because she asks him to do something. He says he'll do it, but he won't do it until she asks for the third or so time.

says_harsh_things · 2018-01-18T04:23:38+00:00

[deleted]

wtknight · 2018-01-18T00:03:39+00:00

So men and women should just be treating each other as sexual objects and not actually try to become friends? I actually like being in a relationship and interacting in a non-sexual way with the women who I'm attracted to and don't consider it work most of the time.

LeaneGenova · 2018-01-18T01:34:44+00:00

OP, this clearly reads as a rant. Please clean it up, and if it meets our content standards, I'll reapprove.

madeofivory · 2018-01-18T08:20:39+00:00

Why do women expect so much from men? Why do women expect so much from their relationships?

You're not clear about how you define relationships here. You could be talking about fwb or a romantic relationship or a multitude of different things, and you can't just put a blanket statement over all of them. Men have needs other than sex too yknow, like emotional intimacy for example?

Obviously, nobody should be looking for emotional intimacy in a fwb relationship cause that would end in disaster, but that's why its important to define what kind of relationship this is. In a romantic relationship, it makes sense for anyone, not just women, to expect some emotional intimacy, not just sex.

Based on this post, it seems you have a very shallow interpretation of what human relationships are, to think men only want sex and women are all high-maintenance that use sex to get what they want. Men are human and enjoy things like emotional love and companionship, and so do women.

rulenumber303 · 2018-01-18T14:27:50+00:00

All men ask is for frequent sex and to not nag them.

Someone has never had to deal with a man who got used to having his laundry done for him then all of a sudden it wasn't.

Eastuss · 2018-01-18T00:17:29+00:00

Men want more than sex and not being a nag. They also want you to watch skateboarding videos with them and go to the grocery store to pick up the brand of water that they like.

TheBookOfSeil · 2018-01-18T00:36:46+00:00

If you have a problem with the people that you're meeting, look for someone who is unlike those people. They're out there, and they're usually in a relationship ;-;

GridReXX · 2018-01-18T01:07:53+00:00

For once I'll pull a TRP answer... "evolutionary psychology."

It behooves women to find the most quality and attentive man for dem babies and for protection of her pregnant ass with his babies.

reluctantly_red · 2018-01-18T03:37:27+00:00

Sex and companionship are all that's required for casual dating. However, for a LTR or marriage the woman sure as hell has to bring more than just sex to the table. I hate dumb women so she has to be smart. She also can't have squandered her intelligence so she should be educated and have a decent career. To be LTR/marriage material a woman has to be a good partner (no different than a business partner) -- a good partner with extra benefits.

I don't expect that much from casual dates. But I demand a lot more from long-term prospects.

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2018-01-18T00:06:39+00:00

Not a problem for women lol. Who cares if it's a problem for some men, that's your beeswax

This seems like a TRP post, not a PPD discussion

ProgrammaticallyEgg · 2018-01-18T03:27:50+00:00

No, men want relationships, marriage and kids.

Sorry to break it to you, but we have polls to confirm.

If you want a hooker go to a hooker. What's the big deal? What do other people's relationships, families and happiness have to do with the fact that you only want sex? Good for you. Go have sex.

larrythetomato · 2018-01-18T01:39:03+00:00

If you want to be challenged, then your argument is based on fairness "the trade deal between men and women is not a fair one because..." Fairness is not a real thing, it is a tactic used to persuade and manipulate others into doing something. Basically, if you want to get real value in life, acting in a way that assumes fairness exists isn't going to work as well.

The reason why this 'cost' of sex (in terms of male commitment) is so high, is because the modern society has pushed the supply of male (beta) commitment high. Recently, men have realised that they have to do more, and they get less love and sex than they though they would. This was basically the spark that began the red pill.

I won't go into the history, but the gist is that "this is the point of the redpill". Men have notices that women say they want a bunch of things in a man, and also noticed that some men get all that without doing any of that. Often despite doing the opposite. Part of TRP is trying to become like the men who are able to do that.

[deleted] · 2018-01-18T03:29:02+00:00

The problem is the government getting involved in marriage to much. I've never really had a "demanding girlfriend". Girls aren't bad, squid is just scared of the state

i_have_a_semicolon · 2018-01-18T04:35:36+00:00

I don't expect anything "from men" If a man wants to be my lifelong lover and friend, and I love him then we will be together.

pinkgoldrose · 2018-01-18T07:23:32+00:00

What is it that women ask of men? I was always under the impression in my relationships that the men asked for sex from me and I didn't ask for anything from them. Sure, sometimes they came to eat dinner with my parents, but I went to eat dinner with their parents too. There was no other expectation or demand.

SmeggingRight · 2018-01-18T22:23:07+00:00

I'm an affectionate guy. I love all the relationship stuff. I'm trying to learn to be better at it.

Not true that all I want is sex and not to be nagged. I want her to get on with my family, get on with my friends, at least try to be interested in a few of the same things as me, stay as fit as I do, like cuddling up while watching a movie, be on my team as much as I'm on hers and have a happy personality.

goatismycopilot · 2018-01-18T00:13:38+00:00

The problem is you and who you are dating.

rainisthelife · 2018-01-18T10:16:27+00:00

Women do not value sex the way that men value it. So the frequent sex means much less to her than it does to you. Why do men want “frequent” sex. Sex once in two weeks or once a month really should be enough.

That extra effort that a woman does to give her man frequent sex is equivalent to him putting in extra work for the relationship. Otherwise for a lot of women, they would be happy with much less sex that they’re having. You giving her sex and saying, well this should be enough for you as it is for me, is like a woman spending time with a guy without putting out and then saying that her company should be enough for him, just like it is for her.

Doom_and-Gloom · 2018-01-18T12:21:50+00:00

No, the problem is that women DON't want sex. That's the real issue, I think.

AutoModerator · 2018-01-17T23:55:34+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

vornash2 · 2018-01-18T18:38:44+00:00

Because from an evolutionary perspective it sounds like shit sexual selection which leads to evolution, hopefully of traits that make a species smarter, stronger, better able to adapt, ect. Women are meant to be selective and men to be selected or rejected. When you realize most of the men who ever lived never reproduced in our evolution as a species, it all makes perfect sense. And yes there is genetic evidence for this. That knowledge is really important for any undesirable male to understand to put their problems in the proper context.

says_harsh_things · 2018-01-18T00:09:47+00:00

[deleted]

[deleted] · 2018-01-18T08:59:12+00:00

This is why i prefer being the fuckbuddy.

I get an ego boost from it, but when some girl starts asking for a relationship, or i hear some chick is interesting in dating me. I don’t know i ask myself what did i do wrong. Because most of these girls are promiscuous, and nothing makes me feel shittier than when the girl who had a ons last month expects dates before you Bang or sees you at the relationship guy.

newName543456 · 2018-01-18T07:38:16+00:00

Because women have it easy when it comes to getting just sex, so they up the stakes.

gasparddelanuit · 2018-01-18T01:09:53+00:00

This is one of the problems with modern relationships for a lot of men. Hollywood and media have put women's expectations through the roof. It's just too much work for most men.

Patrice O'Neal explains the dilemma below and the male audience members evidently agree.

Patrice O'Neal - Men Need Women To Stop Bothering Them

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2018-01-18T12:18:03+00:00

[deleted]

Title	The problem isn't that men only want sex . The problem is that women want sex and so much more.
Author	RageQuitNoRespawn
Upvotes	17
Comments	217
Date	January 17, 2018 11:55 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/7r5i5k/the_problem_isnt_that_men_only_want_sex_the/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/the-problem-isnt-that-men-only-want-sex-the.263968 https://theredarchive.com/post/263968

Comments