Q4All: Do you feel political correctness has ruined dating and sex for you?

saltinado · 2017-04-11T23:44:26+00:00

Honestly, I think that the current environment has made it easier for me to make moves as a woman. I still feel awkward making the first move, but I think that society is becoming more okay with it. I think my mom would feel like a whore if she chatted a guy up in a bar, but I don't feel like I'm going to be judged too hard if I ask for a guy's number. So personally, I think I enjoy it more.

And safety, I like that shit.

OurThrownAwayDreams · 2017-04-11T23:28:51+00:00

I don't think it's about PC but it's more about recognizing a woman's political power.

Nowadays I don't take unnecessary risks or mess around simply because women have demonstrated their political influences and the political and social power they can have over a man. That girl at work? If she seemed cold after the first time talking to her, I'm not gonna persue her some more because it's not worth risking my job for it. This goes with other women in real life.

You can call me beta or whatever, at the end of the day I am staying the hell away from trouble and trying to just live a simple life. Sometimes it's just not worth it, and as I grow older and older, I need to be more and more careful as to not throw away something I've built up for so long.

Ercole-- · 2017-04-11T23:44:50+00:00

A man can be respectful and ask for consent, and then also be thoroughly dominant after receiving said consent. That's how hot feminists fuck, yo.

Subway_Bernie_Goetz · 2017-04-12T00:03:09+00:00

you may feel that maybe guys tend to be more respectful and gentle towards you (especially when it comes to consent)

Oh no, the horror.

though at the expense of guys taking the initiative for hot passionate sex, leading and dominating.

Not all women want this.

SmeggingRight · 2017-04-12T00:25:07+00:00

For men: you may feel like you've been lied to by society on how to attract women and that some women aren't completely honest/aware of what they want. Not to mention the constant demonization that surrounds male sexual desire as being monovalent and predatory thus preventing you from making a move in fear of backlash or even getting in trouble.

No one lied to me. I don't feel demonised. Men do get the predator label, but I think that's because there's so many fucking male predators out there. I don't know what any of us are going to do about that, but some women could certainly calm down and not label all men as being the same.

For women: you may feel that maybe guys tend to be more respectful and gentle towards you (especially when it comes to consent) though at the expense of guys taking the initiative for hot passionate sex, leading and dominating.

I'm going to answer this one even though it's not directed at me.

I'm respectful, don't know about gentle. In terms of consent, it's either yes or no. I've had the kind of women who want me to dominate them in and out of the bedroom - they're drama queens who are always looking for the next thrill. No thanks. I now see requests or inclination for domination as a red flag, unless it's just a bedroom thing.

Alth12 · 2017-04-11T23:19:30+00:00

For women: you may feel that maybe guys tend to be more respectful and gentle towards you (especially when it comes to consent) though at the expense of guys taking the initiative for hot passionate sex, leading and dominating.

That's not how consent works.

KrivenRaven · 2017-04-12T01:09:49+00:00

"Dating is hard because of political correctness"

I have really seen every pathetic excuse in the book.

Look, if you cannot figure out how to be respectful in public but still give your SO a hard fucking in private, that's not the fault of "political correctness". Either you are an asshole in public or you don't know how to fuck.

This is not college math we're taking about here.

KrivenRaven · 2017-04-11T23:26:54+00:00

For women: you may feel that maybe guys tend to be more respectful and gentle towards you (especially when it comes to consent) though at the expense of guys taking the initiative for hot passionate sex, leading and dominating.

Sorry but nothing kills the mood more than feeling unsafe.

funny_lyfe · 2017-04-12T01:50:22+00:00

Nope I am un-PC to almost all women. Actually especially more to women, helps me weed out the SJW's. I am pretty open about my sexuality, my high sex drive.

Never be sensitive about being a male. Or the fact that we are sexual and visual creatures. Most women find it refreshing vs the beta cuck BS most men have going.

The_Whitest_of_Phils · 2017-04-11T23:01:03+00:00

I've always been a little too sensitive in how I act towards women, for fear of being incorrect or seemingly belligerent or aggressive. Definitely hasn't served me the best. While yes, I've had girls appreciate that I care, I often miss out on making the bold move. Maybe I've just found something to cover up a lack of courage, but when you get all these mixed messages about how to treat women, sometimes I just feel too lazy to even muster up the 'courage'.

GridReXX · 2017-04-11T23:25:26+00:00

"Political correctness" has zero impact on any aspect of my day to day life.

youleftme · 2017-04-12T00:48:34+00:00

Talking from a red-leaning straight male perspective here, and it's more related to social justice in general rather than simple political correctness. TL;DR at the end.

With this entire 'political correctness' business, I'm honestly confused. Should I be a gentleman and do everything for a woman I'm infatuated with? I feel like I should treat them with respect, but then if I do that (respecting their personal space, understanding that some women don't like being hit on, etc.), would it be my own fault for not "making a move"? Would it be my fault for someone else having the initiative to create a relationship with them?

Political correctness has indeed made dating harder for those unwilling to take initiative, like me, no matter how much I claim it's because I want to respect women and their boundaries. In my own opinion, I think dating has just been made easier for those that can take initiative, but more secretively and psychologically rather than forcefully, if that makes sense. In other words, those willing to take initiative and can pull a few Jedi mind tricks can woo people, while the "mean, big, bad, pussy-destroying alpha Chads" and shyer, less initiative people like me are left in the dust. Note that I'm not talking shit about initiative guys. I have a friend who's probably a pussy destroyer (because I don't snoop into his sex life so I dunno) and he's the coolest dude around. He initiates, he's smooth, he's cool. I'm just saying that he'd obviously have a better chance than I would.

Not to pull a 'nice guy' or anything, but respecting women really has put me into a place where I can't initiate any sort of romantic relationship with a woman because of the factor of discomfort it brings me and possibly her. I have no problem with seeing women as friends. (Hell, sometimes, they're BETTER than my male friends in terms of sensibility and emotions.) The thing is, once you try to initiate a relationship with a girl that's been your friend for a bit, don't you think there's going to be some contemplation from her, too? Women of /r/ppd, if your friend of a few years (who has been known to take the initiative, i.e. traditionally male) decides to tell you they like you, don't you think it would feel a bit weird between the two of you? I mean, there's the obvious "Oh gosh, this guy likes me" blushy-wushy stuff, but I can't help but feel that there's also a hint of paranoia and untrustworthy behavior on the ladies' side, i.e. "Has he been pretending to be my friend this entire time just to get with me?"

Political correctness has done so, so much for women and minorities across the western world (give or take a few other nations), and I believe that it'll soon be worldwide. However, my problem with it is that it's only done things for women and minorities, which is great. But what about me? What about the men who are willing to respect women and are deprived of regular romantic and sexual relationships because of it? IMO, there's too much social justice and empowerment movements out there for women and other popular marginalized groups (i.e. LGBT, African-Americans, etc.), but what about us? When you think "progressive", you think "women". No one thinks "shy guys". No one thinks about men like me, disadvantaged against both smooth-talking men and those attributed with "alpha male" traits. I'm figuratively the lowest person in the group of three. Smooth-talkers are great people and fun to be around. Alpha males can be dicks, but at least they're hot and know how to treat a woman/initiate. I'm just "that guy".

In terms of sexual relations with other people, I believe that political correctness and social justice has made people like me actually more scared and hesitant of making a move like that. I'm not afraid to admit that I'm no alpha male, and yeah, sex is cool, but I don't want to hurt any boundaries. I've heard some women complain that their partners just don't know it when they're "in the mood". If you're one of those people, male or female, just know that maybe your partner doesn't want to feel like they're raping you. If you feel like sexytimes, tell them about it. Don't expect them to read your mind about it. That's one of my largest fears, actually-- "accidental rape". Not being able to read emotions clearly and ending up hurting someone instead of pleasing or helping them.

On the bright side, women have grown from the growth of political correctness. I'm not a huge fan of it, but I'll admit that it has shed some light on many different situations that women should never be subject to, i.e. feeling the absolute need to have sex with their partners when asked, etc.

tl;dr It's great that women have become closer to (and arguably already are) equals in our society. However, while making women more empowered and giving them an incentive to be the initiator in some instances, the traditional situation of "guy woos girl" is still in play because it's just human nature for males to compete for females. Political correctness has played out for female empowerment, but hasn't done much for shyer, less initiative males in terms of it.

mc0079 · 2017-04-12T00:28:54+00:00

Hard No. Tumblr is not outside. Go to any bar or club. All the garbage you see online is nowhere to be seen. Tumblr SJW political correctness is WAY overblown and used as a huge boogeyman for people.

Go to any good bar on a Friday night. No one is squealing about feels, reals, body acceptance, MGTOW, pills or any other sort of nonsense.

wtknight · 2017-04-11T23:01:52+00:00

I'm married now, but when I was dating I rarely encountered anyone who was that politically correct. So my answer would be no.

HugMuffin · 2017-04-11T23:06:37+00:00

... no ...

prodigy2throw · 2017-04-11T23:58:47+00:00

Nope. The only women who care about political correctness are ugly af.

The rest just mention it in passing but don't really care. I've told lots of my beliefs to women and have rarely gotten serious pushback. I mean, I don't use red pill terms or say the word cuck like an idiot but if you can actually explain your point of view in a calm and confident manner people tend to agree

wub1234 · 2017-04-11T23:10:43+00:00

No, it hasn't had any influence on my dating life whatsoever. I don't really care if something is PC or not, I just care if it fits into my own values system and is correct.

says_harsh_things · 2017-04-11T23:43:57+00:00

It probably cost me some good experiences early on but i eventually figured out the real story on my own and have been happy ever since.

Looking back, if i figured it out earlier id probably have a few extra kids and a handful of stds.....so .....

cxj · 2017-04-12T00:01:46+00:00

No it hasn't ruined them for me, but it has made them more high risk.

NalkaNalka · 2017-04-12T00:31:58+00:00

Nah. I live in the third world and we haven't been poisoned yet.

Dema2 · 2017-04-12T03:22:18+00:00

I just don't pay any attention to liberal women basically. Not sure if that answers the question but yeah, I will never be compatible with them and I know it.

Battle-Scars · 2017-04-12T04:03:56+00:00

I don't date PC SJW's, they are insufferable and not very fun to play with, so no it doesn't affect my dating life.

bala-key · 2017-04-12T12:34:06+00:00

you may feel like you've been lied to by society on how to attract women and that some women aren't completely honest/aware of what they want.

Yes, but that's not political correctness. It's that society still pretends that men get Marriage 1.0 but they actually get Marriage 2.0.

Naive men double down on their beta qualities (what would have made them good 'husband material' in 1895) and get a rude awakening because it doesn't work any more.

bones_and_love · 2017-04-12T14:30:18+00:00

I don't think much has really changed. There's always been this interesting interaction between men's sexual desire, women looking sexy, and what is actually allowed to be put on display without being offensive. It's historical, it's been there for a good while. I'm not claiming a guy can never express his sexual energy. It's situation by situation, way too much to go into all of it. But take a simple example - a woman walking around with cleavage. It has all the ingredients. It's a woman being sexy. A guy will think "That's sexy" (maybe not as actual thoughts, but it's just a fact he notices). And... as we all know, no one should stare. And no one should talk about it with her. That's be really weird. Any interaction with her goes on normally, the cleavage doesn't change anything. Assuming you're socially aware, this isn't something that annoys you, it's not something that confuses you. It's just part of this particular dance in society. It just is. It's about as natural to you as saying "hi" when you meet someone.

Like I said, I can't go into every individual situation. There's just too many, and hell, it's not like I've studied it and am ready to write some huge masterpiece on it anyway. But there's just times when a guy can get sexual, and there's times when he can't. There's times when a guy can sorta get sexual with hints or jokes, and there's times when he can't. A guy's got to play it by ear.

But the important thing to mention is I really can't see where much has changed in, say, the last 30 years of American culture. If anything, things have gotten a little more sexual recently with clubs and grinding. Not an American history expert, but dancing in the 60s/70s/80s seemed to be less touchy.

badnews4u · 2017-04-12T16:50:52+00:00

the alpha males and females do fine. The betas like you and me ( you are on the internet in general) are left fighting over the scraps. Just lol at thinking the top men give a shit about this. You can grab em by the pussy and they wont mind. The women that are hot enough manage fine without doing shit.

Hows that for a dose a reality

fatchobanispliff · 2017-04-12T18:47:34+00:00

I feel like I can't talk about gender relations and discuss problematic things without men freaking out and acting like I'm blaming the entire male gender or accusing them. I feel like conversations about gender/race/etc are more strained and muddled than ever before, people are bitter and wont listen to the other person. I'm far from pc but I'm not completely blind to social ills and behaviors either.

mistresswhat · 2017-04-12T20:22:40+00:00

I'm a woman and I think it's made things a whole lot better.

Very masculine men always strike me as boring and conventional and I don't like being dominated. I also dislike men who treat sex as a reward I'm supposed to give them in exchange for a certain amount of attention and money spent -- I'd much rather have guys who see it as a fun thing we can do for mutual pleasure. Those guys try way harder to get me off than the types who figure that I got my nice dinner and this part is for them. Sex is very important to me and I very much prefer to figure out if I'm sexually compatible with someone before I get emotionally attached, so being able to have sex on the first or second date without getting judged for it is important.

Electra_Cute · 2017-04-11T23:11:59+00:00

Not to mention the constant demonization that surrounds male sexual desire as being monovalent and predatory thus preventing you from making a move in fear of backlash or even getting in trouble.

Male sexual desire is not demonized, where are you even finding this?

you may feel that maybe guys tend to be more respectful and gentle towards you

No, not at all.

Entropy-7 · 2017-04-11T23:24:17+00:00

I live in China and found a Filipina who is going to be my wife.

North America sucks shit IMHO

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[deleted] · 2017-04-11T23:22:23+00:00

Political correctness doesn't really apply to my neck of the woods

DrBoby · 2017-04-12T02:43:27+00:00

Yes, I have no idea how and when to ask for consent. So I don't ask but I sometimes feel like a rapist when I hear all those consent advertisements.

I just consider for exemple I can touch her ass after few minutes with my hand on her thigh, and so and so... until I consider I can take her pant off because I'm malaxating her boob for 5 min... and so and so until we have sex.

It's an even bigger problem for sexual assault, I never know if it's ok to surprise-wall-plate a girl on the wall and kiss her (not sure I used the right english words sorry if that sound weird). I did this a couple of time and they loved it but I think it's illegal and considered sexual assault if the girl doesn't like it, which is disturbing

shoup88 · 2017-04-12T14:17:22+00:00

No, not at all. It has very little effect on my life.

[deleted] · 2017-04-12T15:39:50+00:00

Not particularly. Political correctness seems to be more for the public sphere than the private. Being PC in public just shows you are socially aware and you can play the game. In private I can still be myself more or less.

It does make general life trickier. Things move on so fast that you cant keep up. In a lot of ways it just means you have to adjust your mask more often. That is where we are going in the polite public realm at the moment, people are masking themselves more and more to fit PC standards.

username_6916 · 2017-04-12T17:25:26+00:00

All the feminists telling me that I must never interact with women in public or else I'm sexual harasser has me terrified of interacting with women in public, and ashamed of even having romantic desires. I understand that this isn't entirely logical, that I should simply put their malicious 'advice' aside, but it's surprisingly difficult to unlearn those lessons.

Transmigratory · 2017-04-12T17:47:01+00:00

Not ruined, made it easier. Now you know if you really, really want to bang that blue haired chick with the bust/ass just pretend you care about SJW issues and you're probably going to bed her.

Though, get some perspective. This demonisation stuff etc... that only seems like it is drenched in society if you spend a lot of your time on a place like reddit, namely subs like this.

Lyanina · 2017-04-12T05:16:56+00:00

No, dating has been fine. My boyfriend is kind of anal about consent at times, in a joking way -- we sometimes stop and ask each other, "This is consensual, right? Do I need you to sign a form?" That's about it, really. We have fun with it. Not sure how it's supposed to have ruined my dating life.

reepbot · 2017-04-12T05:41:53+00:00

Society never lied to me. I have two eyes and two ears. I know that just being nice will never attract a woman and I don't understand people who think like that.

FairlyNaive · 2017-04-12T11:07:55+00:00

Lol no. Dating and sex are very far rom beeing ruined for me.

Title	Q4All: Do you feel political correctness has ruined dating and sex for you?
Author	slothsenpai
Upvotes	6
Comments	209
Date	April 11, 2017 10:58 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/64ue0c/q4all_do_you_feel_political_correctness_has/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4all-do-you-feel-political-correctness-has-ruined.268940 https://theredarchive.com/post/268940

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