Why didn't someone tell us women that men are like this?

StickItInTheToilet · 2016-10-07T01:14:28+00:00

I thought men liked me for me. And then this happened! https://yacv.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/2002-06-02.gif?w=600 So unfair.... All those nice guys we see...

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Women managed to filter the shitty messages out and see the real world

Not all of us do.

The problem is that on here so many guys seem to blame having fallen for the 'NiceGuyTM' trap on 'go through story, have emotional development, gifted hot girlfriend for this' movies and the like, but then when women have done the same its because 'women feel entitled because its their nature and the world hands them everything on a plate'.

I know women who have had trouble finding a partner/have been with some really shitty men because they swallowed the 'guys show love by treating you like a princess', 'boombox over the head', 'perfect prince charming' rubbish from stories/movies/TV they consumed growing up whole. What to the outside seems like entitlement and thinking they're god's gift is really insecurity and a warped idea of how relationships are 'supposed' to be.
People bitch about and laugh at women who are like this - but in reality it's a sad situation, because unless that person changes their perspective on how relationships work, they're just going to end up lonely and frustrated wondering what is wrong with them that everyone else can find someone and they can't. Or with someone who smacks them around and then 'its OK because they filled the room with flowers and candles afterwards'.

Edited to add: I think that people in general assume that women are all socially canny and therefore anything they do 'wrong' is an attempt at manipulation, whereas men are all socially incompetent and require handholding through learning how to communicate. I've mentioned here before how my brother and I both went to single sex schools, and from right when we started I remember people worrying that it would mean that he would be 'one of those guys that never learns how to talk to women', while openly stating that girls in the same situation 'figure it out'. In the end my brother and I both turned out fine, but to be honest I know a lot of girls from back then who definitely were very naive compared to their peers when they finally got out into the real world and never really caught up.

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No, never in my life heard something like that.

I was told to never beat women, (which is reasonable) even though they can hit me, to treat them very nicely, to listen when they talk, to not make them cry, etc.. I never heard just be yourself and women will love you unconditionally.

I never heard that I deserve xyz either, I always heard that I have to fight for things I want in life but if I don't get them it's my fault. At the same times girls always hear that they deserve a prince, a boyfriend that bring them flowers/chocolate, who open the doors for them, etc whatever just by existing.

Every time, you can check, that a guy asks for help advice on relationship its not surprisingly always his fault (check r/relationship)

Bf: why is my girlfriend being bitchy the last few days?

Advice: you're probably not giving her attention or you're not listening to her. You should... etc.

Basically blaming him for her behaviour. When men turn to trp to listen to advice on variables they can control, they are usually perceived as manipulative scums lol. Trp are also accused of ruining relationships, when they simply encourage men to have boundaries and don't accept this kind of behaviour.

So no I don't agree with you, men don't hear that and I still think most women(girls) are really spoiled in relationships.

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For at least three years the redpill men here have insisted they all heard the message just be yourself and be nice and some women will love you unconditionally in all of the culture they grew up in

Not really. You hear that many men were told to just be themselves and that the right person would come along eventually, not explicitly that someone would love them unconditionally because of that. You also hear that men were told that women like nice guys.

The unconditional inference, if you like, is more a reflection of what many men are indoctrinated to believe women represent; caring, compassionate, selfless individuals who would end all war and conflict if they ran the world. It’s incidental to their supposed intrinsic (but fictional) character, rather than caused by men being nice or being themselves. It's also not understood as literally unconditional love, but love based on the mutual affection of each other’s person. That's to say, liking or loving someone because they are a likable or lovable person, rather than liking or loving them because of the benefit they provide to one’s own goals.

A stark difference is that the starting point for women growing up in the West is to view men as dogs or, at least, as untrustworthy. So the environment that women grow up in is the gynocentric version of the outlook that TRP is cultivating in men, to counter the narrative that women are sugar and spice and all things nice.

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Your experience with boys at school has no relevance in the world of men & women.

As an "ugly duckling" you'd have been not just an ugly duckling but also a low status symbol - very often boys will gloss over women they actually like because they don't want the social stigma those women are associated with - this is less of an issue in the real world, where you have agency over the people you associate with.

In general also growing up ugly for girls carries the same negative feedback loops that boys get - an ugly girl is treated like shit because she's ugly and internalizes this. Later down the line when we're at a point where her ugliness may not be such an impediment, but she probably has poor self image, low social capital & unconfident unsexy mannerisms because of her past experience. In short, she has become a female niceguy.

I have no idea how much if any of this applies to you, all I know is that the vast majority of "ugly girls" I've come across have been doing themselves no favours by wallowing in self-pity; just think about how you view guys that do this.

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People can't resent something they haven't personally experienced themselves. You might not like that there are starving children in Africa as told you by the media, but you can't fully resent it unless you've experienced hunger in extreme conditions. You might not like that a man cheated on his wife, but it doesn't make your blood boil until you've experienced it yourself.

Likewise, the friend zone is something experienced by real men whereby a woman insists on being "just friends" with a particular man and not allow him to date her, even though she is dating a series of other men in the process.

Not that he should demand to date her, but the issue is he cannot get out from being her friend (friend zone), to being her lover the way other men are.

Not only is there a wiki and books about it, but there's even a sub for men currently in the situation. No media there.

Source: I was one of those friendzoned guys years back before I knew there was a word for it.

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[–]kevin32Reddit's Ambassador for NiceGuys™1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link

Being in the "friendzone" should NOT make your blood boil.

"Being in an abusive relationship with an domineering husband who controls your every move should NOT make your blood boil." You can't expect people to not feel a certain way when they are smack in the middle of the situation you know nothing about.

If you are attracted to someone and that person isn't attracted to you, then you cut contact with that person. You don't linger around going "woe is me!!!"

This is Relationship 101 advice that most people know intuitively. But as Esau said it becomes complicated when the woman sends mixed signals that suggests she might be interested in the man she friendzoned. She doesn't say, "I'm not attracted to you," or "I'm never going to date you," because that would indeed cause him to cut contact and look elsewhere. Instead she says, "You're such a good man. I love the way you treat me. You'd make a great boyfriend. Why can't I find a nice guy like you?" Then occasionally she invites him over to her place for dinner and Netflix, go shopping at the mall, or go for drinks at the bar, things people typically do when dating.

She does this to keep him invested in her so she can continue using him for validation, attention and favors. It frustrates him because he feels he's being used but a part of him still thinks that maybe his attentiveness will eventually when her over, because "Women want a man who's attentive and treats her with respect."

Or so he was ~~lied to~~ told.

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as a man, i can assure you what he said is so true.

i know you women will never understand this and keep making the mistakes. Lower your standards at younger age and go for little lesser smv men who will grow into higher smv later in life. The kind of men who will make you the center of their universe. They have every reason to, one of it being, not many women reciprocate the love to them during those times.

it has been proven again and again, for example short men have very low divorce rates. Women initiate divorces. Etc etc etc.

Also if you want to keep a man, fucking put some effort into it. if he brings flowers, go to soccer game with him. If he complements you how beautiful you are every morning, learn about his intetersts and connect/discuss with him about it. Example: women hardly give brain orgasms to nerds. I can go on and on and on.

Sometimes i feel like the only reason i am with a women is because of sexual reasons. You know those kind of realtionships go to shit after sex rollercosster is over or expectations to be with someome from society is gone or you realize that the whole happy wife, happy life is fad in this age.

Heck for younger women, i would leave to be on my own the way women treat men these days. Contrary to popular belief, women understand men very less and have very less idea on how to keep a man happy. it is all about keeping the cupcake happy these days.she has to be bought gifts, complememted, protected, blah blah blah. What she thinks she offers in return? Sex (now you are old, isnt working anymore), kepping the house (age of tech. Laudry machines, dish washers, vaccum cleaners, etc. No need to be in a relationship for that), emotional support (seriously women should stop doing this. They fuck our brains than ever make emotionally better). So thats the situation. Women dont communicate well with men inspite of the myth that they do.

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they have the upper hand with and live as disappointed shrews who DB them?

Or take risks and only go for alpha. Hopefully you will get one and hopefully he will kepp you despite him having other options. But if you fail, you can eat delicious cake meant and sleep in cat poo.

Never said taking risk with life is wrong. the problem is when you do it enmass (all women), you leave a lot of average men bitter. It will only come to bite you later.

men cheat when they're wives get old too

These men will only want to reciprocate what women did to them. And have fun later in lives when they can. Only thing they would think is, women or she had the chance when she was younger. She took it. Why shouldnt i? Right?

Its funny how women act like spoilt brats when they have the say and young. And expect men to be loyal when they finally get the chance.

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Title	Why didn't someone tell us women that men are like this?
Author	StickItInTheToilet
Upvotes	12
Comments	229
Date	October 7, 2016 1:14 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/568vy1/why_didnt_someone_tell_us_women_that_men_are_like/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-didnt-someone-tell-us-women-that-men-are-like.272551 https://theredarchive.com/post/272551

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