Why do men avoid "sluts" for LTR/marriage

TripleMaxor · 2020-05-22T09:44:49+00:00

Men avoid sluts for LTRs and marriage because they are more likely to cheat and divorce.

Studies prove this:

In illustration of this, the odds ratio of 1.13 for lifetime sexual partners obtained with the face-to-face mode of interview indicates that the probability of infidelity increased by 13% for every additional lifetime sexual partner screenshot

We evaluated the association between infidelity and sexual experience, as prior studies have found that people with more sexual relationships in the past are more likely to have secondary sex partners(Bozon, 1996).

Regarding the correlates of infidelity, results indicated that on the basis of both methods of assessment, the probability of sexual infidelity (a) was greater for Blacks (relative to the remainder of the sample), (b) decreased with higher religiosity, (c) increased with higher number of lifetime sexual partners

Whisman, Mark A., and Douglas K. Snyder. Sexual infidelity in a national survey of American women: Differences in prevalence and correlates as a function of method of assessment. Journal of family psychology 21.2 (2007): 147.

Source: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/17605537/

View PDF here

More studies here

TheJim66 · 2020-05-22T08:31:43+00:00

I agree with your main point but there is no reason it can't be that it's BOTH disgusting and a bad idea. Although yeah, the main reason is disgust.

But, a remarkable thing is if the woman has had similar sexual experience, they tend to be more accepting, because it is difficult to accept that one is hypocrite to have participated in sexual activities and yet want a virgin.

Why would he be a hypocrite? Men and women are different and they dont find the same things attractive. Why do women look for tall, rich men while they themselves aren't these things?Men find high n disgusting ,women find it attractive.

coolerdrop57156 · 2020-05-22T08:49:17+00:00

Is it hamstering if i say both. Its fucking gross and it shows a terrible track record. And im not insecure for thinking this.

badgersonice · 2020-05-22T12:03:04+00:00

Same reason I also avoided mansluts for LTR/marriage. The difference is I don’t want a promiscuous man for sex either. A guy who fucks lots of women doesn’t share my values, and we’re fundamentally incompatible.

Some men say they have an additional level of innate disgust at the idea of marrying a slut, but I’m somewhat skeptical because those same men typically are not disgusted by the idea of having sex with sluts. I don’t really understand how you can have sex with someone who makes you feel disgust at the idea of being around them for any length of time.

SSCookieLover · 2020-05-22T11:48:27+00:00

Aside from the fact that they’re more likely to cheat, it’s fucking gross. Why would I wife the city fleshlight?

snuskbusken · 2020-05-22T08:16:06+00:00

It's not hamstering to observe that promiscuity correlates with higher rates of infidelity and divorce. Additionally, it's typically an indicator of bad judgement.

Innovative_being · 2020-05-22T09:57:16+00:00

Why do men avoid “sluts” for LTRs/Marriage

http://archive.is/uo1Vh

_cheeky_bastard_ · 2020-05-22T11:44:26+00:00

because it is difficult to accept that one is hypocrite to have participated in sexual activities and yet want a virgin.

No it's not. There is no hypocrisy in choosing a partner. You can have whatever outlandish requirement you want, and it's up to the other person to accept that. Is a former alcoholic required to date a former alcoholic just because he's been through that? No.

It's also implying that both sexes are equal, which is objectively wrong.

CommanderOfTheDeath · 2020-05-22T12:40:53+00:00

A visual answer: which one would you pick https://i.imgur.com/cCDUnVE.jpg ?

NOTE: the one on the left is more expensive.

reluctantly_red · 2020-05-22T13:34:28+00:00

Are all the guys here sexually repressed? Its just sex people. Young women like to fuck just as much as young guys. Get over it. Sorry they weren't fucking you but you've got to get over that too.

NockerJoe · 2020-05-22T10:20:47+00:00

I talked about this on the Discord a number of days ago and I think it's one of those things that many men reason through in their heads, but never fully articulate. Because when I talk with other men about these types of women it's very clear we're on the same page but the why we are is never actually said. It's just a thing we understand and build off in similar directions. So when we talk with women or the men who never went through this process we can't really articulate it. It's essentially a gut feeling you get from some kind of experience or perspective, but one that's pretty common among men but essentially doesn't happen at all for women.

wekacuck · 2020-05-22T12:12:35+00:00

Why would anyone need more of a reason than "disgust/repulsion they feel"?

If food looks disgusting or repulsive to you, nobody cares that you don't eat it.

iseeyouxo_ · 2020-05-22T13:13:23+00:00

Lol men just don't want to because they think they will become her beta and she won't do all the freaky things with them that they did with others.

That's really it

_cheeky_bastard_ · 2020-05-22T14:21:54+00:00

You dont seem to be interested in hearing real thoughts on this, your mind is made up. Why make this topic then?

Nu_Guy · 2020-05-22T13:55:31+00:00

I think the main reason is because of societal norms, and religious foundation.

Promiscuous women are not celebrated in our culture thus deemed lower value.

yoitsdavid · 2020-05-22T15:43:02+00:00

I don’t care if someone sleeps with lots of people. Fuck, it’s unfair. If a man sleeps with lots of women, people like that. But if women sleep with lots of men, she’s a hoe. That’s unfair. I’m a man, and I don’t think women should be discriminated against how many people she sleeps with

CrossroadsinCtown · 2020-05-22T11:51:13+00:00

Because its akin to sticking your dick into a dirty sewer pipe, the end.

DesertSweat · 2020-05-22T13:17:43+00:00

If a female is having gratuitous sex, basically what I see is a female starved for attention. She can’t get enough male attention, and uses sex to get the attention.

To me this shows she’s a loser without anything besides attention from males to make her life complete.

No fulfillment from job, friends, no hobbies. Unless you consider taking every dick you find a hobby.

So instead of bettering herself, instead of finding herself and making herself a viable long term relationship material because she can be loving, loyal, and independent, she’s taking every dick for attention.

For some people, this is a phase, maybe to combat depression or the like. But when a female has made it into a lifestyle. That soon will not change.

So just because someone enters into a relationship, when they feel they aren’t getting attention, or that the high of hormones has mustered off, they will seek other dicks for attention. Instead of being independent, healthy relationship material.

TripleMaxor · 2020-05-22T14:33:06+00:00

Evolutionary maybe? Maybe we dislike marrying promiscuous females because they can give us a disease and children not our own.

eboy4hire · 2020-05-22T16:30:46+00:00

As long as I'm one of those guys she'd have casual sex with I'm not too bothered by LTRing a slut. I have to feel like she's on my team in life.

Mrs_Drgree · 2020-05-22T08:24:30+00:00

[removed]

ha1ry_nipples · 2020-05-22T20:49:40+00:00

How can men be allergic to sluts when every woman is a slut by this subs definition?

beigesun · 2020-05-25T07:07:15+00:00

I'm married (n count=10) and my limit was someone who had more than me, give or take. I can't be a hypocrite. That was my justification.

I would agree that it was about repulsion, so OP is correct. I think it comes from our society.

But then again, I never once had this discussion with any of my gfs or hookups. I'd like to think my radar worked well and I weeded out women I did not want to associate with based on my gut. My hookups were women I already knew and had an idea. It's a terrible discussion to have about n counts anyways.

I also picked a spouse with a low count (4) and this is verified in my mind. She's a Becky, not a Stacy. She had only LTRs. She comes from a strong family background. In college, she went home every weekend. We didn't go to a party school. She had a campus job and basically all of her time was accounted for. Just super busy. Plus I trust her.

zerofeetpersecond · 2020-05-30T19:35:54+00:00

Most men don’t want to raise other men’s kids. That’s a chance you take with sluts.

TechnicalMight0 · 2020-05-22T14:20:09+00:00

The disgust men feel is an evolved response that exists precisely because men who don't feel that disgust are more likely to get cucked or end up with BPD crazy chicks who will ruin his social standing through lying or fail at properly raising their children. It's not hamstering when it's actually true.

TheGirlGetter9000 · 2020-05-22T15:39:14+00:00

Yes, I feel disgust.

I also think it's statistically a worse move. For the reasons you mention and others.

I also think I'm high value and don't have to settle for qualities I don't prefer. Literally, why take anything less than what I'd like in an ideal scenario if I don't have to? If I thought there was anything wrong with at all I could disqualify it, so I do.

My LTR has an n-count of 3 and I have one of about 25.

Recycle_the_Rich · 2020-05-22T13:49:16+00:00

I find it funny and ironic that women who advocate for marrying sluts would never in a million years buy or wear a used pair of panties because 'that's gross'.

Astronommy · 2020-05-22T14:18:39+00:00

Huh, so this is why a girl being involved in a gangbang disgusts me (as do guys but that’s different)

Ordinate1 · 2020-05-22T15:38:17+00:00

I am fine with it, no idea what other people's hangup is all about.

I have never asked a woman how many people she has had sex with, and rarely get asked, myself.

illegallad · 2020-05-22T15:57:02+00:00

Let me answer your question with another question. Would you avoid a man who donated thousands and thousands of dollars to local e-girls and messaged local girls begging for dates for a long term relationship/marriage?

Tardisand · 2020-05-22T16:10:53+00:00

conservatives have high disgust sensitivity [link].

"trait disgust encourages a generalised search for order".

maybe a slut's past is just too chaotic.

DesertWolf45 · 2020-05-22T16:34:03+00:00

I was in an open relationship with a slut for nearly a year. High n-count, participated in at least one orgy. Not worth it.

She invited me in and I accepted it because I was alone and broken. However, there was already a budding emotional attachment. I fell in love with her, not knowing how "open" the relationship was going to be.

She went on to see so many other people that she had little time for me, failing to honor her own commitments. We once agreed to meet with my parents, but she left us waiting in the streets for hours because she was getting ready to see another guy after me. Frequently, there were periods of time in which she wouldn't talk to me, only to resume communications telling me about the newest guy she fucked.

The people she saw were complete degenerates. One raped her. Another wanted to have sex with her twelve-year-old sister. Our plans to meet once were completely derailed because she was with a guy who drugged and stalked her.

I finally ended it when she bragged about seeing other people "All. The. Time." I had faint hopes that she would've settled down for a LTR, but I could no longer trust her to take me seriously anymore, let alone commit.

It's one thing if my girlfriend had sex with a small handful of people beforehand, but if she had an excessive history like my last one, that's a problem, especially if she can't repent.

There's a reason sex hasn't traditionally been treated casually. Dating your partner is like a natural vetting process - whether you like it or not, emotional bonds naturally form with sex and you need to know that your partner won't betray your trust. By virtue of skipping that, promiscuous people naturally tend to be poor selectors, often getting dangerous or terrible partners and failing to keep quality ones. They're also more likely to contract STDs, hence physical disgust is well-warranted.

Financially and psychologically, LTRs and marriages are not easy to maintain, especially if you have kids in the United States. Trouble brews and couples always fight. When things inevitably go wrong, how could you trust your partner not to revert to their old ways?

Jimmy-Turnchapel · 2020-05-22T17:36:43+00:00

Im afraid it’s a bit of a fantasy. A decisive blow to justice/karma whatever but sluts never have a problem marrying. Some men avoid some sluts. But sluts have no problem marrying.

brodudebrodude123 · 2020-05-22T17:42:17+00:00

Men hate sluts because of disgust. The disgust likely comes from a mix of things, but is probably largely a result of a Madonna Whore dichotomy that a lot of men develop.

All this bullshit evopsych and “studies about sluts” that red piller is just a pathetic attempt at hamstering and retroactively justifying something they’ve already made their minds up about.

It’s an emotional reaction, but they won’t admit it so they can keep their corny “le epic logical man” act going.

I dumped my ex for her slutty past because I was disgusted by it. My gut feeling was that it ruined her cuteness/“innocence”. I simply had the gut reaction of disgust, and that she was ruined. That she could never “be mine” because she gave her body away for cheap to random dudes”.

It was some “logical choice based on an analysis of the statistics “🤓

I’m glad I made that choice though and would do it again

ElectricalStatement7 · 2020-05-22T20:06:59+00:00

Does this really need explaining? Getting with someone that's been promiscuous tends to increase the likelihood they'll cheat or something.

Christian_Kong · 2020-05-22T20:07:20+00:00

The problem is many try to reason around it ("hamstering"?) that previous promiscuous behaviour is an important factor in predicting future behaviour.

That is true for everyone. All past behavior is an indicator of future behavior. I can tell how certain people will react to certain things in life due to their past behavior and usually be right. Yes people can change but do you want to be the person(giving up time/energy/etc) that is proving both to you and the other person that this is an actual change in behavior that they want?

Just because they are "ready for something real" doesn't mean that they have experience with "something real" or even have a realistic and aligned view of what "something real" is with yourself. So there is a good chance that they are testing the waters of relationships with you. Just like taking a chance with a virgin may result in a bad time sexually taking a chance with a reformed slut in a relationship may result in a bad relationship. Is that worth your time? For a lot of people the answer is no.

Iron-Giant169 · 2020-05-22T20:11:58+00:00

Can’t turn a hoe into a housewife

wangsneeze · 2020-05-22T20:12:32+00:00

Regardless of what data says, the strong human tendency to see pattern is going to have massive unconscious influence over our decisions, especially where risk (marriage is a massive risk) is involved.

InternalOperator1 · 2020-05-22T20:16:20+00:00

Because ancestral men who committed to sluts were more likely to be cuckolded (in the literal sense, not the pornhub sense), and thus were less successful over time. We're evolved to avoid high promiscuity women / mate guard.

InfidelCastro11 · 2020-05-23T00:49:44+00:00

Sluts are objectively worse in relationships. Been proven many times over.

bosswiththecross · 2020-05-23T00:52:30+00:00

Also a pride thing if you have pride. Sex is an incredible intimate thing and I don't want 100 (or whatever number it is) guys to know how my wifes pussy feels and have had those intimate sexual moments with her.

Not all guys are the same though. Some don't care for whatever reason. Some are cucks and LIKE that stuff. For me, I feel bad for the future husband's of the girls I've slept with and I hope I never meet them because it's like dude, I know what your wife's pussy feels like. It's just awkward.

Not saying it's right or wrong tbh those are all concepts we define ourselves and as a society, but describing a dynamic that just is what it is

As a kid I personally wanted to just be with one woman and be in love with that woman. As I grew up though realized society nowadays is structured in a way where it's actually rare to have that, sadly. Separately I learned the nature of female sexuality can be kind of fucked up (per books by scientists like Robin Baker who wrote sperm wars or the book the red queen) which some people in the red pill community (which I'm not a part of) are familiar with

dio_genes_ · 2020-05-23T03:37:26+00:00

I've had sex with 33 guys and fooled around with a few others; it's because I've always had better than the guy I'm betabuxing with. I have so many stories about being an alpha widow. Guys get really turned off when they see my enthusiasm & love of all my past Chads. Most guys I try to settle with and get betabux from now don't even come close to the guys I've fucked before. The past guys were better in every way.

I imagine that's why. I'm the type of person who talks about my past experiences no matter what the guy thinks. I gotta weed out the guys who can't handle it.

xxx_tentacleon · 2020-05-23T04:19:01+00:00

If you’re in a committed relationship with a woman than it’s only natural as a man to be possessive of her. Women like men who protect and provide. A man that invests his resources into a woman feels like he should get something of value in return. When many other men have been with your woman, she is no longer special. Men are also competitive. No man wants to marry a woman and see footage later from a jealous ex of her getting gangbanged or jizzed on. It’s embarrassing that you’re treating her like a lady when everyone else treated her like a slut.

FeniZio94 · 2020-05-23T04:50:30+00:00

Petri dish pussy...

Complete unreliability regarding faithfulness

Risks while having children (child support/fathering kids that are not yours)

Insane emotional abuse from broken goods (slut)

Insanely toxic behavioral patterns

(My biggest reason) retaining of male DNA and an X percentage of the guys she’s slept with... I mean hell my kid might inherit the eyes of Chad when he pumped and dumped her 10 years ago while blowing a load into her

Seriously... like the idea of marrying a slut is nauseating... disgusting

ds383 · 2020-05-23T06:49:19+00:00

Same reason some women avoid 'man sluts' who sleep around with random women outside of the institute of marriage. The thought of his private parts being inside many women makes him just as much of a slut and repulsive to me 🤢

Willow-girl · 2020-05-23T21:37:03+00:00

They don't.

the_purring_jew · 2020-05-22T10:55:20+00:00

they dont. sluts, strippers, pornstars and canwhores etc get married everyday. the rhetoric about "sluts not marrying" is ASPIRATIONAL, designed to tell men they are "better than that" and dont HAVE to settle for being beta bux or beta comfort for some aged, nesting "used up slut" whos biological clock is ticking

Bapubaa8129 · 2020-05-22T14:47:09+00:00

It’s like chocolate; if the opportunity to have some is rare, you crave it. If its in abundance and too easy, its meh at worse. With high n-counts, I dont know how to put it into words. It’s just repulsive.

ElGupo1978 · 2020-05-22T15:33:54+00:00

They are too expensive

2020-05-22T15:44:46+00:00

is because of disgust/repulsion they feel.

Yep images I have zero problem admitting that and I could give a flying fuck if there are studies backing me up or even if there are studies saying the opposite.

because it is difficult to accept that one is hypocrite to have participated in sexual activities and yet want a virgin.

Nah I have zero problem with being a "hypocrite". I owe no one compromising my desires over some sense of objective consistency. What incentive is there to do so?

_cheeky_bastard_ · 2020-05-22T08:29:46+00:00

I agree that it is hypocritical for a promiscuous person to avoid another promiscuous person but I believe that most men who make this argument haven't had many, if any, sexual partners to begin with.

The problem is many try to reason around it ("hamstering"?) that previous promiscuous behaviour is an important factor in predicting future behaviour. They try to bring up stats about marriage success and theories like "alpha widow".

This is due to the fact that "slut-shaming" is an abandoned practice in western culture so, without a justification that goes beyond "because it's gross", you may be looked at side-ways for saying that you don't want a woman who's slept around.

azngirl7689 · 2020-05-22T12:03:28+00:00

Men have a Madonna/Whore complex. They fuck the whore and marry the Madonna.

AchromaticFade · 2020-05-22T09:24:31+00:00

Men love sluts that they can manage and charm into commitment. They dislike those that would not take them as providers and give up their nomadic party life style. That's all, men dislike what they can't have under their own terms.

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maljo24 · 2020-05-22T10:45:15+00:00

Weak, insecure men are afraid of experienced women.

Title	Why do men avoid "sluts" for LTR/marriage
Author	_cheeky_bastard_
Upvotes	29
Comments	256
Date	May 22, 2020 8:12 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/gofabt/why_do_men_avoid_sluts_for_ltrmarriage/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-do-men-avoid-sluts-for-ltrmarriage.667549 https://theredarchive.com/post/667549

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