After five years together and no ring, I broke up with him and got myself my own diamond!

notochord · 2020-06-21T00:56:18+00:00

Commenting to add: it’s an ethically-sourced salt and pepper diamond and I worked with an independent jeweler to get exactly what I want. About twos months ago, my ex saw me looking at rings like this on my phone and offered to buy me one “not as an engagement ring or anything, but because your birthday is coming up and I don’t know what to get you.” 😖 We are in our early 30s and have talked about marriage being a shared and important goal of ours for YEARS. We even had a plan for a 2018 engagement/2020 wedding...🤡

After an intense year of therapy and reflection, with the help of reading posts and comments here, as well as hearing the stories of other women in my family and women I volunteer with, I decided to break up with my ex and he moved out of my house! This ring arrived yesterday in the mail and I couldn’t be happier to have a sparkling reminder that I’m worth having nice things and I deserve happiness, success in life, and to feel cherished by a partner. My ex didn’t cherish me. I wasn’t the best thing that ever happened to him, and he wanted all the wife perks without the commitment. We tried couples counseling and he bailed on it because the therapist was “mean” and called him abusive. He insulted me in front of his mother. My parents and brother are happy for me and support my choice to end the relationship. I feel happy and like myself again for the first time in years.

Thank you FDS for being one of the tools that is helping me help myself! 💙

Ms_Tilly · 2020-06-21T01:27:23+00:00

I love this!!

One of my happiest moments was selling my "promise" ring (we were mid 20s, long term, AND living together) to a pawn shop in Europe (on a SOLO vacation) in exchange for one of their rings. I still wear it every day, over ten years later.

Champagne_bitch · 2020-06-21T01:05:58+00:00

So proud of you! Always remember you are a diamond too.

bumbumboleji · 2020-06-21T00:58:42+00:00

Gorgeous ring!

notochord · 2020-06-21T04:01:24+00:00

Same. 2 days after 5 years done done done.

atreethatkeepsgrowin · 2020-06-21T04:12:57+00:00

I have an expensive piece of jewelry I bought myself after I got a big raise. It felt so good after being so underpaid and undervalued for the first decade of working to buy myself something luxurious that I’ve wanted since middle school and know I will always be able to take care of myself.

mightbethrowawayyy · 2020-06-21T00:58:30+00:00

So pretty!

HornetKick · 2020-06-21T03:33:18+00:00

That ring is very pretty. Next time don't wait five years. You'll know in 1 year if he is a keeper or perhaps less than that.

gigababejfl · 2020-06-21T08:41:41+00:00

This is amongst the bravest, most inspiring posts I've read on this sub.

When you're programmed your whole life to just take it and wait.. its difficult to choose yourself first.

May you and your beautiful ring have brighter days ahead. May you be blessed with a love that has conviction to go the whole way through.

We are proud of you.

Tam2kids · 2020-06-21T03:07:44+00:00

He didn't deserve you.

breadandbunny · 2020-06-21T01:03:56+00:00

I figured I might as well start saving up to do this. Might take a couple of years because I still haven't gotten my career going just yet.

Sage_Planter · 2020-06-21T02:13:12+00:00

This ring is gorgeous! I love it, and I'm proud of you.

notochord · 2020-06-21T05:28:58+00:00

I haven’t read the comments yet but I want to congratulate you as well. Here’s to not taking crap from men anymore 🥂 Good job, I know that was hard but you’ll be proud of yourself looking back

EmpressOfDankness · 2020-06-21T03:48:49+00:00

It's beautiful! Wear it in good health, and I hope you are reminded of your strength and worth when you look at it :)

HoneyNJ2000 · 2020-06-21T11:35:41+00:00

You dodged a bullet.

Marriage to a man is mostly just a life of servitude, anyway. Whoopie.

You're better off being by yourself.

Honest.

Kccokt · 2020-06-21T03:12:43+00:00

jenna marbles voice HELL YEAH

weasted_ · 2020-06-21T03:48:02+00:00

Congratulations!! Don't bend the notochord for the LVMs ever!!

(Just didn't know how to reference the notochord in any way lol)

_Amarantos · 2020-06-21T03:36:04+00:00

Gorgeous and classy. What a lovely reminder of your worth.

girludontbringhome · 2020-06-21T04:02:50+00:00

Your ring is so elegant and eye-catching, I love it. And thank you for sharing your success story, that LVM did not deserve you.

detikripur · 2020-06-21T13:22:33+00:00

I have a diamond ring ( super small one but still diamond) gifted by me sister for my 30-th birthday. An ex gave it to her to “shut her up”. She was 25 he was 35 and needed to “think hard and long before getting hitched for life being still so young” with her. They had been together for 2 years and I hd already predicted that they would go nowhere together (I told her straight so he and she knew what I thought). She took the ring, said thank you and gave it to me because I deserved a nice diamond ring for being the best sister in the world. She bought herself another one bigger. You go girl. We need more than a stone to feel valuable and loved

fiercefinance · 2020-06-21T03:43:17+00:00

Yasss girlllll 💃

loloc9 · 2020-06-21T03:51:29+00:00

You’re my inspiration if I ever got into this sort of situation.

Dirtmagirt21 · 2020-06-21T03:50:56+00:00

U deserve it

radical__daphne · 2020-06-21T05:03:50+00:00

👏👏👏👏👏💥💥💥

rainynightslight · 2020-06-21T05:49:01+00:00

This is super beautiful & inspiring!!! SO FUCKING HAPPY FOR YOU:) P.S. love the ring design!

Ka_Tetof99 · 2020-06-21T06:10:57+00:00

It’s gorgeous! Alexis Russell?

FudgyBrownie · 2020-06-21T09:39:26+00:00

I'm so happy for you! And it's a really nice ring! The smaller stones remind me of wings

2020-06-21T10:51:08+00:00

This is gorgeous! Never heard of salt and pepper diamonds before but they're beautiful. Considering one for my own custom ring now too!

TheSatanicVegan · 2020-06-21T14:14:41+00:00

This is awesome! My ex broke up with me after 5 years by coming out gay. I should have broken up with him 2 years prior due to lack of intimacy. (How pathetic of me for putting others before me because "love").

This fall I will finally be getting my B.S (after being in school for too long due to changing majors and major depression). I'll be getting a graduate ring with diamonds on it and that will be my ring.

jmaydizzle · 2020-06-21T11:17:32+00:00

Proud of you OP! You deserve everything and more!

pc_turnip · 2020-06-21T13:02:47+00:00

The only promise ring a girl should have is one that she bought for herself! So happy for you, and the ring looks GORGEOUS

greenbeanbird · 2020-06-21T17:44:24+00:00

Good for you, queen! I'm so proud of you for taking steps to create a life you love and celebrating your progress with a beautiful item of your choosing! I hope you feel proud of and love yourself every time you look at it!

buy_me_cookies · 2020-06-22T17:55:57+00:00

Awesome! This is inspiring and something I've been thinking about doing for myself once I leave this emotionally/financially abusive marriage. I want a ring to remind me of my commitment to myself!

Minkiemink · 2020-06-21T05:31:10+00:00

Duchess cut for a duchess!

oceanpark · 2020-06-21T06:55:56+00:00

love this.... thank you for the reminder and inspiration. and i bet now this shift in energy for you will attract someone actually worthy!

Awkward_person5 · 2020-06-21T07:04:18+00:00

Feeling like an idiot waiting around after ten years. Super happy you got out and are loving yourself!

FluffandRainclouds · 2020-06-21T13:28:10+00:00

👸🏼👏💎You're worth it!!!

Datonecatladyukno · 2020-06-21T14:53:45+00:00

Queen shit

Sekina7 · 2020-06-21T15:18:36+00:00

Congrats darling! Proud of you and that is super inspirational! XOXO

fulltwistinglayout · 2020-06-21T15:29:57+00:00

This is so inspiring! I'm so proud of you! That ring is gorgeous and I've always wanted my own diamond ring that I paid for.

I don't know much about the jewel trade which I will definitely look into right away. Thanks for sharing with us!

diorgasm · 2020-06-22T00:17:18+00:00

Yaaahs hunny !! ❤️

bey124 · 2020-06-22T18:44:51+00:00

I’m happy for you!!

Lazymandarin20 · 2020-06-22T21:16:13+00:00

Just got out of a 5 year relationship last monday too! What a fabulous idea

ObscureGoldenSphere · 2020-06-21T03:40:41+00:00

Yes! I don't know why a ring and marriage is so important for some people though. I don't believe in marriage anyway

Title	After five years together and no ring, I broke up with him and got myself my own diamond!
Author	notochord
Upvotes	2362
Comments	114
Date	June 21, 2020 12:47 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/hcxgu5/after_five_years_together_and_no_ring_i_broke_up/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/after-five-years-together-and-no-ring-i-broke-up.698637 https://theredarchive.com/post/698637

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